


Long Hot Summer

by krashlyntome (bestthreemonths)



Series: Campverse [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:36:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 85,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5069245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestthreemonths/pseuds/krashlyntome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashlyn's not sure how she let her best friend talk her into being a summer camp counselor, but when she arrives at Camp Cedar Falls, she's determined to make the most of it. What follows is a tale of s'mores, tan lines, friendship and first impressions (even when they're wrong).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Untouchable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try something new. I've never done anything like this before, so it's my first attempt at an alternate universe AND my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic. It's loosely planned, so things may change, but right now I'm expecting it to be around 15-20 chapters. It's rated T for now, but it could potentially verge on M in the future (depending on a lot of factors), so I will update accordingly... You can expect updates about this long on average, and I promise to always make them quality and never try to rush them!
> 
> As always, don't forget to answer my questions in the end notes in the comments!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> (Mostly for my benefit, I'm including the dates in the notes... this one takes place between Sunday, June 11 and Saturday, June 17)

The flagpole is the first thing Ashlyn Harris notices when her taxi pulls into the circle. The American flag waves proudly above the Pennsylvania state flag and the new (to Ashlyn) flag bearing a logo that’s going to become familiar to her over the next several weeks.

Camp Cedar Falls.

Two months ago, if someone told Ashlyn she’d be spending her summer as a counselor to a gaggle of kids ages 6 through 17, she would have said they were crazy. But if they told her she’d be doing it because her best friend asked—no, practically begged—her to, she would find it a bit more believable. The lengths she would go for Whitney Engen are unmatched.

A tan, dark blonde woman with hair in a ponytail braid, comes running out to greet them with a clipboard, and Ashlyn has to contain her laughter. She looks like every camp stereotype Ashlyn has ever believed, down to the khaki shorts, visor, and tennis shoes.

“I’m Christie,” she says, sticking out her hand for Ashlyn to shake. “But everyone here calls me Cap. Short for Captain. Nicknames are a big thing around here. Welcome to Camp Cedar Falls!”

Ashlyn shakes her hand, smiling, but Whitney probably does a better job of looking excited, because she actually is. Ashlyn is excited, of course, but more than anything, she’s nervous as hell. Whitney is totally the summer camp type, hence why she attended this very camp every summer she was eligible. And why she became a counselor just a few years later.

“Obviously Penguin here is an old pro, so she can show you around and help you settle in,” Christie—sorry, Cap—says.

“Sorry, should have mentioned that,” Whit says. “Engen… Penguin. I was 8 and kinda wobbled around when I walked. It stuck.” She shrugs.

“Whitney, you’ll be in Hammock Lodge, and Ashlyn, you’re right next door in Springs Lodge. You two are the first ones here, but the rest of the staff should be arriving shortly.” She grins and pulls them into a sudden hug that practically knocks the wind out of them both. “We are so excited for this summer! It’s going to be epic.”

Whit and Ashlyn lug their enormous suitcases down the winding path to the cabins, despite the fact that there are perfectly good golf carts at their disposal. Whit sneers when Ashlyn mentions them. “They’re for the campers when they get here,” she says. “But the veterans on staff refuse to use them even before campers arrive. It takes away from the natural camp atmosphere.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes but takes her word for it.

She points out important landmarks along the way, like the lake where they’ll be working as waterfront staff, the pool, and the tennis courts. Ashlyn’s eyes light up when she sees the soccer field right beside the cabins. That was the one thing Whit had told her that made her really start to entertain the idea of being a counselor. She played starting goalkeeper for her high school team until she suffered a career-ending ACL tear in the championship game her senior year.

Before then, she had it all figured out. She had committed to UNC, she had been called up to the U-20 national squad, she was going to work her ass off to make the senior national team, and nothing was going to stand in her way. Her injury was devastating, and suddenly everything was up in the air. Her parents could no longer afford to send her to her dream school, and she certainly would never realize her dreams of playing in any World Cup.

Her small, tight-knit community, which had felt so suffocating when she was recovering, quietly banded together in support (with the help of Anson Dorrance, the women’s soccer coach at UNC, whose heart broke when he heard the news), eventually raising enough money to send Ashlyn to UNC for two years. She took out loans to pay for books and living expenses, and the support has continued to pour in. Every spring the community hosts a charity golf tournament for their hometown hero to continue her education, and while it’s unbelievably generous, it still means Ashlyn has to work her ass off to stay afloat.

During the school year, she works as an assistant coach at UNC, where she qualifies for work study compensation, but during the summer she’s waitressing and bartending in Satellite Beach. After two summers of that, though, Ashlyn is more than ready to do something different. As she was complaining to her roommate—Whitney—one day, Whit was distracted filling out the application to be a counselor yet again.

What started as a joking side comment—“I wish I could just do what you do and lay out all summer”—quickly turned into one of Whitney’s famous brilliant plans, and the next thing she knew, Ashlyn was boarding a plane to Pennsylvania to spend eight weeks in the middle of nowhere—with barely any cell service, she’s noticed.

When Whitney drops Ashlyn off at her cabin, she assesses it thoroughly. Two of the bunk beds have a plaque saying “counselor” on it, so she figures one must be hers. She chooses one at random and sets down her things. She gets out a towel and her shower supplies so she can wash the airplane gunk off her skin. It might be silly to want to be clean at a camp where she’s probably going to be sweaty and makeup-less 99 percent of the time, but she’s going to be making her first impression on all the other counselors—and Whitney’s pre-Ashlyn friends—at any moment now.

The shower is pristine, and she knows to enjoy it while it lasts from the last two years of living in dorms with communal showers. When she finally emerges, feeling like a whole new woman, she hears someone in the cabin. She quickly throws on her bathrobe and towel dries her hair before walking back into the cabin to see a brunette girl moving all Ashlyn’s things.

“Excuse me?” Ashlyn says. “Do you need something?”

The girl looks up, her big brown eyes meeting Ashlyn’s, and she just raises her eyebrows. “Umm, sorry, it’s just this is my bed.”

“Your bed?” Ashlyn asks, genuinely confused. “Are there assigned…”

“I’ve been here since I was 6, and I’ve been a counselor for the past four summers. A CIT before that. This is my cabin, and this is my bed.” The girl stands up straight, folding her arms. “And you are?”

Ashlyn does not like this girl’s attitude, and if Whitney were there she’d probably give Ashlyn a look telling her to calm down. But Whitney isn’t there. “I’m Ashlyn, and I was here first,” she says. “You snooze you lose, princess.”

The girl rolls her eyes. “Don’t call me that,” she says.

“Then what can I call you?” Ashlyn asks.

“I’m Alex,” she says, not budging from her stance. “Ali. Call me Ali. I always have to get used to being called Ali because there’s another counselor named Alex, and it’s just confusing and—not important.” Her features soften. “Listen, Ashlyn. It’s clear we’re co-counselors. And we obviously didn’t get off on the right foot. Let’s start over.”

“Let’s,” Ashlyn says, reaching out her hand. “Ashlyn Harris.”

“Ali Krieger,” Ali says, shaking it firmly. “Now Ashlyn, I know you’re new, but this is my bed. It always has been. I like to be by the bathroom, and typically my co-counselors don’t mind being by the door.”

“I’m not typical,” Ashlyn says. Of course it was too good to be true. Divas like Ali Krieger never back down. But stubborn women like Ashlyn Harris don’t either. It’s not that Ashlyn really cares about being by the bathroom, because if she’s honest, she didn’t really notice a difference between the two beds to begin with. But now it’s about the principle of the thing. This girl is not going to walk in here like she owns the place and walk all over Ashlyn. She’s not setting that standard right off the bat. “But hey, if your concern is being near the bathroom, the top bunk is equally close. Be my guest.”

Ali looks at Ashlyn like she has two heads before grabbing her pillow and practically stomping to the other bed. Ashlyn would laugh if it weren’t so ridiculous. It’s going to be a long eight weeks.

~

The first staff meeting is in the conference center before dinner, and Ashlyn is nervous at the prospect of being thrust into a brand new situation knowing only one person, save for Ali, who isn’t exactly a comfort to have. Whitney stops by Ashlyn’s cabin on the way, and of course she and Ali are friends. Whitney is friends with everyone, after all.

Ashlyn walks silently beside the two as they gab about what they’ve missed since they last saw each other. Eventually the conversation turns a bit more hushed and serious, and Ashlyn does her best not to eavesdrop, taking in the scenery around her instead. It’s a beautiful camp, and she can see herself having a great time once she adjusts.

All those thoughts vanish as soon as she steps into the loud conference room, where everyone is shrieking and hugging and laughing about camp inside jokes that Ashlyn will never understand, probably. Ali runs over to hug a guy with a huge blindingly white smile, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes. Of course that would be her type. She’s not sure why she cares so much, but it annoys her the way she seems to work the room, floating among groups, practically glued to the smiley guy’s side.

Whit never leaves Ashlyn’s side, though, and she gently leads her over to a group of more subdued girls. “Hey guys!” she says, hugging them all. “This is my best friend, Ashlyn.”

“I’ve heard so much about you!” one girl says. Her smile shines even brighter than the smiley guy with Ali, especially in contrast to her olive complexion. “I’m Christen, but everyone calls me Press.”

“Or Coppertone,” another girl says. The first thing Ashlyn notices about her is her freckles. Ashlyn’s never loved her own, but hers don’t come out until spending a decent amount of time in the sun. On this girl, though, they look incredible. “Because doesn’t she look like she just walked right out of an ad?” Press blushes. “I’m Kelley, and this is Alex.” She puts her hand on the shoulder of the thin brunette next to her, who just grins.

Ashlyn isn’t sure what to make of any of them yet, but they all seem nice enough. She spends so much time thinking about how she’s going to possibly remember all their names that she doesn’t follow the conversation or any more of the introductions, which include a tomboy-ish looking girl with an amazing smile (what is it with all these girls and their Crest ad pearly whites?) and an intense-looking blonde whose icy blue eyes look like they could pierce through Ashlyn’s chest. She’s gripping a book so tightly in her hand that Ashlyn worries it’ll be bent out of shape, but it looks well worn as it is.

“Welcome counselors!” a voice booms, and Ashlyn doesn’t even have to look to know it’s Cap. “I’m so glad you’ve all arrived safely. This is my co-director, Boxxy, if you didn’t already know.” She motions to the woman next to her, who waves cheerfully, but appears to be much less over the top with excitement. “I hope you’re all settling in nicely and that you’re all ready for a fun few days of staff orientation!” She holds for applause, which she only gets when Ali and her counterpart lead the cheers. Suck ups.

“I see a lot of old faces and new, so we’re going to start off with a team-building game, alright gang?” she announces. “Go to the part of the room that matches the symbol on your name tag. Ready? Break!”

Ashlyn looks down at her name tag, which she hadn’t really looked at before, but now she sees there is a star printed just above her name. She makes her way toward the star poster propped up in a chair near the middle of the room, rolling her eyes when she sees Ali going the same way. It doesn’t appear to be a coincidence, as most of the cabin co-counselors seem to be going together, like Whit and Press and Kelley and Alex.

Ali’s hands are on her hips in a confident stance as she smirks as if to say “I got this.” Everyone introduces themselves, but Ashlyn only remembers a few names, particularly Pinoe (she likes her haircut) and Dom (he has a British accent).

“Here are the rules,” Cap announces. “Each group has to stand on their sheet. Your feet can’t touch the ground outside the sheet at any point, and your goal is to flip the sheet over completely. Don’t ask me about any exceptions or loopholes, because the answer will only make it more difficult for you. The first to be done gets to eat dinner first. The last team is on clean-up duty. On your marks, get set… go!” She blows a whistle and the whole room springs into action.

Ashlyn’s whole group stands on the sheet, and Ali is the first to speak. “Okay, guys, I’ve done this before,” she announces. “Here’s how it’s gonna go.” She proceeds to lay out her plan for everyone to inch slowly toward the edge of the sheet as to only take up half the room as she folds over the other side of the sheet, slowly moving everyone to the other side and eventually being able to flip over the side they’re currently standing on. It’s going to work, Ashlyn knows, but she sees other groups already in action.

“Isn’t this timed?” Ashlyn asks. “Why don’t we cut the time in half by having everyone jump on someone’s back? It’ll take up less foot room on the blanket and we’ll be able to do it faster.”

Ali glares at her. “I’ve been here a long time, trust me,” she says.

“I’m saying we should do it your way,” Ashlyn says. “Just… better.”

Nobody else seems sure of what to say, but Pinoe shrugs. “Doesn’t hurt to try new things,” she says, hopping onto Dom’s back. Ashlyn knew she liked her.

Ali is fuming at this point, and just crosses her arms as everyone jumps on each other’s backs. As if to prove a point, she moves extra slowly when she starts to move the sheet, and Ashlyn just rolls her eyes, on her back a tiny counselor whom she had honestly mistaken for a camper who had arrived too early at first.

They start to gain some traction as the first group finishes. Ashlyn swears she hears Ali say “fuck” under her breath, and that excites her for some reason. The perfect princess clearly has a competitive streak, and Ashlyn intends to provoke it as much as possible. Just as it’s about to be Ashlyn’s turn to move to the other side, Ali folds the sheet over Ashlyn’s foot, making her trip and knock into another pair of counselors, who fall onto the floor.

“What the hell, Alex?” Ashlyn exclaims. “Ali, whatever your name is!”

Cap blows her whistle. “Off the sheet!” she calls. “Start over!”

At this point it isn’t even worth the effort. Every other team is almost done, and in the time it would take for them to start over the plan, the rest of the room would be watching them.

“Time!” Cap calls. “Congratulations to the triangle team! You can be dismissed as soon as we talk about what we learned.”

Ashlyn rolls her eyes. Seriously? A few people raise hands, a few others shout out answers like “teamwork!” and “leadership!” Ashlyn glances over at Ali, who is scowling. She decides to raise her hand. Cap’s face lights up as she calls on her.

“I learned that just because something has worked in the past doesn’t mean it’s the best or most efficient way,” she says, staring straight at Ali, whose arms are folded over her chest. She turns beet red, but it doesn’t satisfy Ashlyn the way she wants it to. In fact, it actually makes her feel a little guilty. Losing was clearly punishment enough for Ali, but now the whole room is watching her, and she does look humiliated, but more than that she looks hurt.

The silence settles over the room as everyone senses the palpable tension. Cap clears her throat. “That’s very true, Ashlyn! Sometimes tradition has to be sacrificed for new ideas! Anyone else?”

“If someone suggests piggyback rides and you’re standing next to Dom, you go for it!” Pinoe calls out, and everyone laughs, tension broken.

Ashlyn turns back to look at where Ali was standing, but she’s gone.

~

Ashlyn doesn’t see Ali or her boy toy at dinner, and she assumes it has something to do with either some secret rendezvous or with Ali trying to get out of cleaning up, so she doesn’t think too much of it. She sits at a table with Whitney, Press, Kelley, Alex, Tobin and Becky (she’s finally learned their names _and_ their nicknames), along with a few other girls who seem nice. She has yet to figure out their actual names, but they go by Cheney and A Rod. Cap wasn’t kidding. Nicknames are no joke around here.

Ali finally walks in during Ashlyn’s second helping of mashed potatoes, and her partner-in-crime is right there with her, as expected. She walks to get food while the guy beelines straight to Ashlyn. He doesn’t look mad, but he squeezes in between Whit and Ashlyn and immediately turns to Ash.

“Hi, I’m Kyle,” he says, and Ashlyn is honestly a little thrown by his voice. He has a lisp that is very similar to Ali’s, but he also sounds a bit more, well, effeminate than she had been expecting. “Ashlyn, right?”

“That’s me,” Ashlyn says. “I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“I’m Ali’s brother,” he says, and _oh_. Ashlyn really misjudged that one. “Listen, I’ve lived with her for long enough to know that she can be a bit of a princess—don’t call her that though, she hates it—but I promise to know her is to love her. She doesn’t like being wrong, and she really doesn’t like being embarrassed.” He pauses to make sure she’s following. She nods. “But if I can give you one piece of advice, it’s to make nice. Eight weeks can be a long time with someone you can’t stand. I’m not saying that because she’s my sister, but because you seem like a cool chick and I’d kind of like the chance to be your friend without Ali disowning me. You don’t have to like her, but trust me when I say it’s not worth it to be on her bad side, especially not from day one.”

Ashlyn nods, and he gives her a firm pat on the back before running back to Ali, who glances over her shoulder at Ashlyn.

“What was that?” Whitney asks.

“He was giving me advice on dealing with Ali,” Ashlyn says with a shrug. “But someone needs to give that girl advice on how to deal with me.”

“I volunteer,” Whit says, nudging Ashlyn playfully. “Listen, go easy on her, okay? She’s a great person. You’d really like her if you gave her a chance.”

“Whit—” Ashlyn sighs.

“I’m serious!” Whitney says. “Have I not proven my Ashlyn Harris expertise yet? She’s sweet, and she’s my friend. Not to mention she’s totally your type.” Ashlyn opens her mouth to protest, but Whit puts up a finger to stop her. “She had a serious boyfriend. Well, as serious as summer camp sweethearts can be. She dated this guy, Tyler—” Whit nods toward a table across the aisle, where a bunch of guys are sitting, listening to one guy tell an animated story. He looks every bit the John Hughes movie jock, and _that’s_ Ali’s type, Ashlyn knows. Makes sense. “They were together every summer, then last summer, after she finally…” Whit lowers her voice. “They… you know.”

Ashlyn laughs. “Whit, you can say had sex. Come on, you’re a big girl.”

Whitney turns red. “So yeah. And then he broke up with her, and she was totally crushed. She almost left camp. She definitely almost didn’t come back this year, but Kyle practically dragged her kicking and screaming. So just… be nice, okay? She’ll grow on you. And she needs someone.”

“She has everyone,” Ashlyn says. As if to prove her point, Ali sits down with an entirely new group of girls, this one giving more of a “popular girls” vibe, flanked by clearly adoring guys, including Dom, whom she remembers because of the accent.

“Quality over quantity,” Whitney says with a shrug. “Just promise you’ll try.”

And because Ashlyn is powerless against Whitney’s sincere puppy dog eyes, she agrees.

~

Ali doesn’t come back to the cabin immediately after training, so Ashlyn takes a deep breath and grits her teeth as she moves her things to the other bed, moving Ali’s to her preferred bed.

When she wakes up, Ali’s bed is made, and her area looks completely settled. Ashlyn looks at her own area, which is still a total mess. She doesn’t know if she was just so tired she slept like a rock through Ali moving all her stuff in or if Ali was that quiet.

She tidies up her area, remembering when she first moved in with Whitney, who had kept her side of the room neat and bit her tongue for weeks about Ashlyn’s before finally losing it one day and cleaning the entire room. She hadn’t said anything at the time, but Ashlyn got the hint and has been mindful ever since of Whitney’s cleanliness needs. If Ali’s hyper-organized area is anything to judge by, she’s likely similar, and it’s the least Ashlyn can do to be a good sport.

Ali comes in a little later, out of breath and sweaty, clearly coming back from a run. Ashlyn glances at her phone. It’s 7 a.m. She can’t imagine when Ali had to have been up and out the door to get a run in by now.

“Hey,” she says. Ali pulls her earbuds out, panting.

“Hey,” Ali says back. “Sorry, did I wake you up when I left?”

“No,” Ashlyn says. “But it would have been okay if you had, I’m pretty good at falling back to sleep in the morning. Ask any of my professors.” Ali smiles and nearly laughs, Ashlyn thinks. “Anyway, if you ever want a running buddy, let me know. I’d be down.”

Now Ali laughs. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think you could keep up with me.”

“Is that a challenge?” Ashlyn asks, and Ali blushes.

“No, I’m sorry,” she says. “I just—I’m an athlete.”

“Yeah?” Ashlyn asks. “Well so am I.” Ali raises an eyebrow. “Soccer. I play goalkeeper. Well, I did. But I tore my ACL senior year of high school.”

“You don’t say,” Ali muses. “I play soccer too. Right back. I play for Penn State actually.”

“How?” Ashlyn asks. “I mean, if you’ve spent every summer here since you were a kid.”

“I’ve given up a lot for the game,” Ali says with a shrug. “Camp wasn’t negotiable. My brother was here, and I went everywhere he did. I made up for it by working my ass off while I was at camp. Every morning I wake up at 5 for a workout, whether it’s a run or some sort of training. I enjoy dessert once a week, usually on ice cream sundae Sundays, and I never drink with the rest of the staff. If I lose my fitness over the summer, I lose everything. My coaches always send me training regimens, and they’re really helpful.”

“Wow,” Ashlyn says. “You’re the real deal, Krieger. Respect.”

“Thanks,” Ali says. “You know, we could always use an extra goalkeeper for our pick-up games.”

“I’ve been dying to get on that field since I arrived,” Ashlyn admits.

“Cool,” Ali says. “We’ll have to do that when we get a break,” she says. “I’m in charge of sports and games, so I basically hold the keys to the castle. Or the field lights anyway. Sometimes when I can’t sleep I end up out there.”

“As long as you keep in mind that my bed is right by the window and I can see the lights when they’re on,” Ashlyn warns.

Ali smiles. “Duly noted. I’m gonna shower, but I’ll see you at breakfast?”

Ashlyn nods, watching Ali walk into the bathroom. Maybe she really isn’t that bad, Ashlyn thinks. And maybe—just maybe—Whitney was a little bit—just a little bit—right.

~

The counselors train for five days straight, and Ashlyn expects to be bored to tears, but she ends up having a blast. The waterfront and pool counselors all have to sit through lifeguard and CPR classes, but she hits it off with Syd, one of the pool girls (and the girl Ali sat with yesterday who Ashlyn thought would be a snob), and Dom, the hot foreign lifeguard who all the campers are going to have a major crush on. Sadly for the preteens, Syd seems to have called dibs in advance.

Slowly but surely, Ashlyn starts to warm up to Ali. She's respectful in the morning when she wakes up at the crack of dawn, she keeps the cabin neat, and it doesn't hurt that she's easy on the eyes. Of course, Ashlyn wouldn't dare admit that. And she's still skeptical because Ali certainly does have her high maintenance qualities. She thinks her princess assessment thirty seconds after meeting her was right on the money. Even still, she is friendly, though she doesn't admit her growing fondness to Whitney. That is, until she instinctively smiles and waves to Ali when she walks in at lunch Saturday. Whit gives Ashlyn her signature satisfied smirk, but Ashlyn just rolls her eyes, sitting down beside Kelley, who is unusually alone.

“Where’s Alex?” Ashlyn asks, and Kelley looks up.

“She’s getting the nurse’s office set up with A Rod,” she says.

Alex and A Rod, who Ashlyn has learned is really named Amy, are the camp nurses who double as some of the favorite cabin counselors, probably due to their motherly natures. Alex and Kelley’s cabin is going to be filled with middle schoolers when the campers arrive Sunday, but A Rod and Cheney’s will be the youngest campers, or “Sprouts.”

“How was your day?” Whit asks, spooning creamed corn onto her plate.

“Good,” Kelley says, mouth full. It’s camp, though, so Ashlyn has learned not to be weirded out by that kind of thing. “HAO and I did the ropes course and neither one of us died, so I’m pretty sure it checks out safety-wise. I guess we'll see when everyone has to do it tomorrow.”

“That’s great news,” Alex says, standing behind Kelley with her hands on her shoulders. Kelley turns around to look up at her and grins.

“Al!” she exclaims. Alex kisses Kelley’s forehead and scoots onto the bench beside her.

Ashlyn can’t help but smile at the way the two interact, falling right into a rhythm after a whole morning of being apart. It’s clear they see the stars in each other’s eyes, and as different as they seem, they just seem to click perfectly.

“So,” a loud voice says as its owner takes a seat across from Ashlyn. It’s Pinoe, who she has learned is one of the camp photographers along with Kyle. “Who’s in for tomorrow night?”

“We are,” Kelley says, putting a hand on Alex’s knee. “How much do we owe you?”

“Five bucks a head,” Pinoe says, and Kelley fishes a ten out of her fanny pack, handing it over.

“Wait, for what?” Ashlyn asks, and Pinoe looks at Whitney.

“You didn’t fill her in?” Pinoe asks. “Disappointed in you, Penguin.”

“Every year, the night before the campers arrive, the staff all pitches in for booze, and we get drunk,” Whitney admits, blushing a bit as if Ashlyn hasn’t seen her drunk plenty of times. “Not hammered, considering we have to be up for when the campers arrive before noon, but just merry enough.”

“Does… does Cap get the alcohol?” Ashlyn says in a hushed voice. Pinoe laughs.

“No way!” she says. “You won’t see Cap drunk till after the campers leave, but you will see it, mark my words. Traditionally it’s the most senior staffer, but Cap was a counselor once, so she knows about it. This year it’s Abby.” She nods toward the tallest girl at camp, and Ashlyn can’t help but note the similarity in their haircuts. “I’m just collecting the money.”

“Well count me in,” Ashlyn says before remembering she doesn’t have any cash on her. She looks at Whit with pleading eyes, and Whit just rolls her eyes and hands over a $10 bill, which Ashlyn happily hands to Pinoe. “We both are.”

~

The last day of training is perhaps the most strenuous, but also the most fun. All the counselors sit through conflict resolution workshops and team-building activities in the morning, but in the afternoon, they get to do the ropes course, cooling off in the pool when it's over. Officially, training isn’t over until almost 10 p.m., at which time Whit is struggling to keep her eyes open, but Ashlyn refuses to let her back out of a party. “Come on, Penguin,” she teases. “You promised!”

“You promised to never have sex in my bed, but then Homecoming weekend happened,” Whit shoots back. Ashlyn can’t really argue with that, but she drags Whitney by the wrist to the staff lounge, where the counselors have begun to gather. 

If all of camp could be like the staff lounge, it would be a lot easier for Ashlyn to adjust, but it also probably wouldn’t be very campy. There’s a TV equipped with an XBox and cable for whoever has a night off, computers to check email and Skype home, and board games they can take for campers on rainy days, as well as couches and bean bag chairs spread around the room. 

KO and Alex are holding red Solo cups and taking selfies with Ali and Kyle, both drinking bottles of water, on one of the couches. They’re with a girl Ashlyn hasn’t met yet, but Ashlyn hasn’t talked to Kyle since he came to her about Ali, so she stays away, instead gravitating to Press, Becky and Kling (the tiny one).

“Marry Beyonce, definitely,” Press says. “Fuck Taylor Swift, kill Katy Perry. Come on, Kling, that was almost too easy.”

“Sorry, I’m too tired to come up with anything better,” Kling says.

“You better get your second wind,” Becky says. “Because I’m so not carrying your ass back to the cabin.”

“That’s what CITs are for,” Kling says, referring to the counselors in training arriving with the campers tomorrow. Each cabin gets one, and Ashlyn is honestly a little nervous about it. She still feels brand new, so she doesn’t know how she’s going to be a mentor of sorts to a younger girl. Then again, she guesses that’s what Ali is for.

“So hold off till tomorrow,” says the girl who was sitting with Ali and Kyle just a minute ago. “I don’t think we’ve officially met,” she says, extending a hand to Ashlyn. “I’m Heather. But everyone here calls me HAO.” Ashlyn tries to figure that one out, and it must show on her face because Heather laughs. “Heather Ann O’Reilly,” she says. “Some nicknames make more sense than others. Like sometimes we call Becky Broon because one summer Krieger decided she wanted to learn German and started pronouncing everything with an accent. Hence, Sauer-broon was born.”

“HAO!” Kyle calls. The girls all turn to see him cross-legged on the floor beside Ali, a circle forming around them. “Hello, are you getting them for drinking games or what?”

“Bonding time,” HAO says with a wink.

“This is another tradition,” Whitney tells Ashlyn as they head over to join the group. There are some people missing, but for the most part, all the counselors are there, even the ones Ashlyn can’t see drinking in a million years. In her head, Ashlyn starts going through names, not wanting to be put on the spot like she had been in team training this morning when they played a name game. “We have a lot of them. We usually start with Never Have I Ever then move on to truth or dare. And yes, it’s always dirty, and no, it never ends well.”

She’s right, as Whit usually is, Ashlyn finds out quickly. It only takes two or three rounds of innocent questions before Kyle says “never have I ever had a threesome.”

Ashlyn easily takes a sip, but her eyes go wide when she realizes she’s the only one.

“Spill!” Kyle demands, and Ashlyn just rolls her eyes.

“Come on, aren’t we all in college?” she teases. “No big deal, it was just for fun. I was single and so were they. It wasn’t awkward afterward.”

“We’ll have to get you a little drunker,” Kyle sighs. “Then we can hear the real juice.”

“Never have I ever slept with a guy,” Pinoe says, and most of the girls—and a few of the guys—drink.

The game carries on, and interest in Ashlyn’s threesome channels into other things like when Abby had ever slept with a guy and who hooked up in the pool shed last summer (it was Syd and Dom). 

“Never have I ever masturbated,” Syd says, sipping her drink along with pretty much everyone else.

“Syd, you can’t drink on your own thing!” Kyle says. “It’s supposed to be something you’ve never done.”

“Duh, but I was tired of being the only one drinking for everything,” Syd whines. “I had to pick something everyone has done.”

“Not Ali,” Ashlyn says, and every eye turns to land on her. Ali’s face loses all color. “She didn’t drink. You’ve never? Ever?” Ali brings her cup to her mouth and mumbles something. Kyle gives Ashlyn a look, but she doesn’t take notice. “Yes or no?” Ashlyn asks, laughing. She hadn’t realized how tipsy she was before now.

“No, I haven’t,” Ali says. “Happy?”

The circle starts buzzing again, and Kyle pats Ali on the back, but some of the girls are still amazed.

“Like, not even on Skype with someone?” Kelley asks quietly, and Alex pats her knee to shush her. “Wow,” she says. “Amazing.”

“Can we play something else?” Kyle whines, attempting to alleviate some of Ali’s embarrassment. “Truth or dare?”

Whitney looks at Ashlyn. “I told you so.”

Kyle carries on without waiting for an affirmative from anyone. “So for you newbies,” he announces. “Here’s how we play. I’ll spin a bottle—yes, cliche, I know, but this is tradition, okay? Whoever it lands on picks truth or dare, and whoever spun it gets to ask or dare. It basically goes on till everyone decides to go back to the cabins. As per tradition, the most veteran counselor starts, so have at it, Abby!”

Abby grabs an empty wine bottle from the table behind her and places it in the center of the circle. She rubs her hands together and spins. It wobbles around before finally pointing to Tobin, who shrugs. “Bring it.”

“Truth or dare?” Abby asks.

“Dare,” Tobin says.

“I dare you to combine what’s left of Cheney and A Rod’s drinks and drink them,” she says.

Tobin grimaces. Cheney and A Rod drink the least of everyone, but she knows their go-to drinks. And because they drink so little (and barely had to drink during the game), there is still a good deal in each one’s glass. A Rod is drinking a sickly sweet white wine spritzer, and Cheney is drinking some combination of gin and grenadine. Tobin is a Jack and Coke or just beer kind of girl, and everyone knows it, so they know how painful this will be for her.

She pours A Rod’s drink into Cheney’s cup, swirling it around with her finger and staring at it, disgusted. She pinches her nose as she forces it down her throat, looking sick the whole time. When she finally finishes, everyone cheers, and she grabs Alex’s water to wash down the taste.

“That was awful,” she announces, grabbing the bottle. She spins it quickly, and it lands on Alex.

“Truth,” Alex says quickly, knowing the damage Tobin could do if given the opportunity. 

“Fine, boring,” Tobin says, but then a mischievous glint appears in her eyes. “What was your first impression of KO? And don’t lie, because I was in your cabin that summer.”

Kelley looks at Alex, smiling like a dork, and Alex puts a hand on Kelley’s knee. “Okay, in my defense we were fifteen and I didn’t know that liking girls was a thing, and I’m pretty sure I channeled all my crushes into total hatred because I didn’t know what the feeling meant. But, I believe my exact words were ‘I’d rather light myself on fire than be in the same room as her,’” she says, and Kelley pouts, even though she knew that.

“So what happened?” Ashlyn asks, laughing.

“We tousled while playing Ultimate Frisbee one day out on the sports fields,” Alex says. “She pushed me into a pile of fire ants, and I pulled her down with me. We both ended up in the infirmary overnight, and Cap made us stay there until we got along. I don’t know that she would have done that if she’d known just how well her plan would work,” she laughs.

Kelley smiles, pulling Alex in for a smooch, and the group cheers, catcalling and whistling, which only eggs KO on till finally Alex pulls away, red in the face.

“Your turn, Kell,” Syd says. “Wait, Alex. Wait, I don’t know. Whatever.”

Alex spins the bottle, and it lands on Ashlyn. “Truth or dare?” she asks.

Ashlyn assumes Alex is too nice to give her a real dare, and she certainly doesn’t want to give herself a reputation for playing it safe, so she chooses. “Dare.”

“Kiss the person in the room you’re most attracted to,” Alex says, raising an eyebrow.

Ashlyn pauses. Alex is certainly a wild card, but Ashlyn likes that. She somehow found a way to combine a truth and a dare. Ashlyn was wrong to underestimate her.

She knows Alex is referring to a conversation they had at lunch about how Dom is the most objectively attractive male at camp, but Alex’s phrasing has Ashlyn really considering it. Yes, Dom is a total babe, and no, Syd wouldn’t flip out about a kiss in a game (not that Ashlyn would really risk it anyway), but she’s not attracted to him. And certainly not more attracted to him than anyone else in the room.

Alex’s story about Kelley had struck a chord in Ashlyn, and she’s not sure what to do about it.

She looks around the room, but she’s really just building up tension and maybe, just a little bit, trying to build up the courage to kiss the right person. Finally, she sits up on her knees and shuffles across the circle until she’s facing Ali.

Without giving herself another second to reconsider, she leans in and presses her lips to Ali’s, her hand on Ali’s knee for balance. It doesn’t feel like it lasts long, but she pulls away dizzier than she had been just from the alcohol, and the circle is laughing and cheering. This time it’s Kelley who whistles.

As soon as Ashlyn sits back in her spot, Ali gets up and runs out the door. Everyone else looks around at each other, and even Pinoe looks uncomfortable.

Kyle gives Ashlyn just one look, and she knows she has to go after Ali. He would do it, but this is her first real challenge as her co-counselor and moral support for the summer. And she will definitely be graded, if only unofficially.

She gets up and walks toward the door, and everyone pretends they aren’t paying attention, instead picking someone else to take Ashlyn’s spin.

“Ali!” she calls. “Ali! Alex! Where are you?” She turns the corner of the building to see Ali sitting on a bench, arms folded. When she looks up, the outside light of the building catches the tears in her eyes. “God, was it that bad?” she asks.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Ali asks. “I know I wasn’t the nicest person in the world on day one, but I thought we were moving on.”

“Hate you?” Ashlyn asks. “What would make you think—”

“You can’t get enough of humiliating me,” Ali says. “First with the team-building thing on Sunday—by the way, that was not a team player move—and then putting me on the spot during Never Have I Ever. Nobody would have noticed if you hadn’t pointed it out. Nobody. And then that? God, have you had enough?”

“Enough of what?” Ashlyn exclaims. “You think I kissed you to embarrass you? How does that make sense at all?”

“Because Kyle told you I have a crush on you!” Ali exclaims. Ashlyn’s face must reflect her shock, because Ali’s soon mirrors it. “Oh my God.”

“Ali—”

“He told you,” Ali says. “You have to tell me he told you and I didn’t just do that.” Ashlyn just stares at her. “Tell me he told you. Just say he told you.”

“He told me,” Ashlyn says quietly, but they both know it isn’t true. “Ali, I—”

“I’m gonna go back to the cabin,” Ali says, standing up.

“I’ll go with you,” Ashlyn says.

“Please don’t,” Ali says. “I’m going to need several years to recover from this, and since I can’t have that, the least you can give me is a few hours and a good night’s sleep.”

“Fair enough,” Ashlyn says, putting her hands up in surrender. Ali brushes past her to head toward the path. “Wait,” she says, catching her wrist and making Ali turn. Before Ali can say anything, Ashlyn’s other hand cups her chin and her lips find Ali’s in one swift motion.

Ali is so shell-shocked it takes her a moment for her eyes to flutter shut and realize what’s happening. Her lips are soft and tender, different than they felt in front of the group when Ali saw them as a weapon. They still might be, but now Ali feels like they aren’t being used against her, that she and Ashlyn might be allies in this battle.

Ashlyn pulls away, releasing Ali’s wrist. “Was that to embarrass you too?” she asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... thoughts? Feelings? Anguish?
> 
> QUESTIONS!  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. Favorite character (so far)?  
> 3\. Who would you like to see more of?  
> 4\. What is one thing you'd like to see happen during Ashlyn's summer at camp?  
> 5\. How hard are you crying at this last New Kids video?
> 
> Okay byeeee!


	2. Sparks Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali helps Ashlyn survive her first day of camp, and Ashlyn lays down the law. Meanwhile, things heat up across camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t expect to have this up so soon (would have been sooner if AO3 wasn’t having technical difficulties) so don’t get too excited about super frequent updates, but when the words are flowing, who am I to stop them? ;)
> 
> (Monday, June 19)

On the first official day of camp, Ashlyn wakes up early and with a spring in her step, but still not early enough to catch Ali before her run. She still has no idea how she does it so quietly, barely even triggering a creaking floorboard, of which there are many. Ali had said this was her cabin for ages, so it would make sense that she knows all its secrets.

She passes by Morgan, who is leaving the bathroom rubbing her eyes, toothbrush in hand.

“Morning,” Moe mumbles, and Ashlyn nods in response. She can already tell she’s not much of a morning person, but Ashlyn admires the way her CIT still drags herself out of bed so early to get the campers up. 

The campers arrived yesterday, along with all the counselors in training, which made for a chaotic day in which Ashlyn barely sat down, let alone got the chance to have a serious conversation with anyone, least of all Ali.

It wasn’t until last night, when the campers were in bed and Moe was trying to combat the whispers of the overly excited 15- and 16-year-olds who couldn’t get to sleep, that Ashlyn escaped to the porch to sit on the porch swing with Ali. She had decided that she’d let Ali control the conversation. If she wanted to talk about the kiss, they could, but if not, they didn’t have to.

In the end, they didn’t, not really. Ali said she hoped they could have a normal summer without any dramatics. She apologized for being “kind of a drama queen,” saying she is “working on it.” Ashlyn had agreed, and they talked for an hour, just getting to know each other, before going inside to go to sleep.

Now Ashlyn knows Ali’s favorite color is pink, she hates cats so much she tells everyone she’s allergic, and her first soccer team was called the Sparklers. Ali knows Ashlyn’s favorite meal is macaroni and cheese and her worst hangover was after her birthday freshman year of college. They don’t know each other, but Ashlyn feels a little closer to her after that.

The way the camp schedule is set up still confuses Ashlyn, so Ali walks her through it at breakfast over the cups of coffee Ali made for the both of them. It’s not quite sweet enough for Ashlyn’s liking, but she appreciates Ali making it, so she sucks it up.

Ashlyn picks up a schedule every day from her mailbox to find out what she and the rest of the camp are doing that day, and today, it has a note on it from Cap saying “Happy first day! You’re going to kill it!” Ashlyn laughs and points out that it looks like the notes her mom put in her lunch box when she was five, and Ali just shrugs and tells her Cap writes personal notes to everyone every day, and some days she’ll need the encouragement. Ashlyn thinks she might really like Cap.

“So today your first session is waterfront,” Ali says, pointing to the slot after breakfast. “And it’s Kelley’s cabin. Any group of 12-year-olds or older can walk around with CITs, but the younger kids get led around by their cabin counselors. Then you have another session with A Rod and Cheney’s cabin, and they’re super young. Then there’s lunch, then rest hour. The campers can either nap in the conference center or in their cabins or do something quiet like writing letters home. Press usually leads meditation, which is kinda cool. Then you have a free period, so you can do anything. Some people use it to nap, some people go to the lounge and call home, but you can go wherever. I usually like going wherever my cabin is going so I can bond with them a little more, especially in the first few weeks.” Ashlyn nods, mostly following along. “I have the same free period today, which won’t always happen, but if you want, we can go to…” she trails off, squinting at the schedule to find their group. “Arts and crafts with the girls. I know it doesn’t sound thrilling, but Becky makes it fun.”

“No, that sounds great,” Ashlyn says. “I’d love that.”

“Perfect,” Ali says. She looks up and grins, waving at Kyle when he walks through the door with his campers. “Hey!” she calls.

“Hey yourself,” he says, sitting down across from them. “Look how cozy you two are.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and Ali rolls her eyes.

“It’s Ashlyn’s first day,” she reminds him. “I’m helping her figure out the crazy camp schedule.”

“So fun,” Kyle says, fiddling with the lens on his camera. “Smile, ladies!” Ali and Ashlyn lean their heads together, smiling, and he snaps a picture. “Presh,” he says. “Total slideshow material.”

“Every day Kyle and Pinoe are in charge of running around camp and getting pictures of literally every group,” Ali says. “It’s an insane job, but they’re so good at it. They have a whole team in charge of editing and uploading and tagging each kid so their obsessive parents can stalk them daily.”

“Hey!” Kyle says. “That was Mom and Dad just a few years ago.”

“Um, that’s Mom and Dad still to this day,” Ali laughs. She turns to Ashlyn. “When they come for visiting day, they always know everything about all our friends and campers already because they’re such stalkers.”

Ashlyn laughs, but a piece of her heart twinges at that, knowing she downplayed her experience so much that her parents probably wouldn’t even know there was such a thing to check. She decides she’ll text them later just to casually drop a hint, but then she realizes the picture of her and Ali will probably be the first thing they see, so she might put it off another day or two.

Ashlyn doesn’t see Whit till she goes down to the waterfront, where she has already gathered all the kayaks with the help of Ryan, another waterfront counselor who Ashlyn has yet to really meet, but who is often hanging around Ali’s ex-boyfriend, which makes her skeptical.

He’s there all morning, though, and Ashlyn actually finds herself warming up to him. He’s funny and great with the kids, and all the little girls adore him. The younger boys challenge him to push-up contests, which he throws comically, and between sessions Ashlyn realizes he could actually be a pretty cool guy. She’s learning a great deal about first impressions already this summer.

After a long day kayaking and stopping kids from purposefully flipping over their friends, Ashlyn doubts her earlier decision to go to arts and crafts, thinking a nap would be a way better use of her time. She plans to tell Ali as much at lunch, but she can’t find her.

“Where’s Ali?” Kyle asks her, and she shrugs.

“I was looking for her too,” she says.

“I asked Hope and Carli, and neither one of them knew either,” he says. “Like what, did they just leave her at the fields to clean up from whatever relay races they did today?”

Ashlyn laughs. “I’m heading to the cabin anyway, I’ll see if I find her,” she says. She grabs a sandwich and a banana before leaving. When she passes the fields, she doesn’t see anyone around, so she heads to the cabin to see if Ali went to change or grab something. “Al?” she calls, opening the door.

Ali is sitting on her bed, trying to look like she wasn’t just crying, but Ashlyn knows better. “What’s wrong?” she asks, unsure of what to do when she wasn’t the one responsible for the tears.

“Nothing,” Ali lies, wiping her eyes. “Just homesick.”

“You’ve been coming to camp for what, 16 years?” Ashlyn asks.

“This is my 17th,” Ali corrects her. “They let me start early because I have a summer birthday.”

“What’s going on?” Ashlyn asks, sitting beside her.

“Tyler,” Ali says. “His group came to sports last session, and I just—I thought I would be okay seeing him, but I’m not.”

“Oh, Al,” Ashlyn says, putting an arm around her shoulder. “That’s the worst. But dude, he’s so not worth your tears. I don’t know what his deal is, but you’re awesome, and whatever happened between you, it’s his loss.”

Ali nods quickly, and Ashlyn hears her stomach rumble. “Here, have a banana,” she says. “You’re going to need all your energy for arts and crafts, right?”

Ali smiles, taking the banana, and she looks at her hands for a minute. “Thanks, Ashlyn,” she says. When she looks up, she blinks back her tears, and before Ashlyn knows what’s happening, Ali is kissing her, soft but firm. It feels amazing, but Ashlyn pulls back abruptly. Ali’s eyes open quickly, and she looks confused. “I thought—you said—”

“I said I wasn’t just kissing you to embarrass you,” Ashlyn says. “I said you are the person at camp I’m most attracted to. But this… this can’t happen.”

“Why not?” Ali asks.

“Because you just want someone to kiss,” Ashlyn says. “That’s okay, I promise I’ve been there. But you’re only kissing me because you can’t kiss him. And I’ve been in your shoes enough times to know that it never ends well.

“I told you I have a crush on you,” Ali says.

“Get in line, princess,” Ashlyn teases. “Listen, I’m flattered by that. And I think you’re beautiful. But I’m not going to kiss you just because you need to be kissed. I don’t want to just be your friend, but I also don’t want to be a rebound, and I certainly don’t want you to be dependent on someone else forever.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Ashlyn says. “But you won’t always be, not if I have anything to say about it. When you can be in the same vicinity as him and not run back to the cabin crying afterward, we can talk. When you want to kiss me because it’s me and not because it’s just somebody, we can talk. But for now, I’m going to be your friend, and friends support each other when douchebag exes show up.”

Ali nods, avoiding eye contact while she peels her banana, eating it slowly. Ashlyn gets up to go to the bathroom, and when she comes back, Ali is gone, but the campers have returned to the cabin for rest hour. She’s surprised at how quickly a lot of them fall asleep, including Moe, who blends right in with the campers, probably because she’s just a year older. Ashlyn sits cross-legged on her bed, flipping through the schedule, knowing someone needs to be around to wake everyone up for their next activity.

The girls whine and complain about being woken up, of course, but Ashlyn eventually drags them all to arts and crafts, where Ali is already helping Becky set up. They’re tie dying shirts, and Ashlyn wants to laugh at how typical it seems, but then she sees all the cool designs Becky has hanging around, and suddenly she’s just as excited as the six-year-olds she saw at lunch with blue dye all over their hands.

Ali seems to be avoiding her, and Ashlyn can’t say she blames her, but she had been hoping this would be another chance for the two of them to bond. Instead, she gets to know the girls at her table, including Moe, a girl named Grace, and a girl named Caroline. Moe has a dry wit that sends Ashlyn into peals of laughter out of nowhere, and Caroline is exceptionally chatty, kind of a girl who seems to like listening to herself talk, but Ashlyn doesn’t mind because she’s sweet and funny. Grace is more subdued than the other two, and she almost seems shy, but she cracks jokes right along with the others.

Ashlyn catches Ali looking her way every now and then, but she always quickly turns the other way. After arts and crafts, Ali escapes to the fields, and Ashlyn goes back to waterfront, glad she’ll get to tell Whit the whole story, but when she gets there, Whit is nowhere to be found.

“Whit!” Ashlyn calls, pulling at the giant door to the shed where all the extra equipment is stored, but it’s locked, which is strange because it’s such a pain in the ass to unlock that nobody ever locks it. She groans, pulling her keys out of the bag, but before she can unlock the door, she hears it click and looks up to see Whit pushing it open. “What are you—” she starts, but then she sees Ryan behind her, and her eyes go wide. “Whitney Engen!” she hisses.

“Ash,” Whit sighs, her face going red. 

“What were you doing in there?” Ashlyn exclaims, looking at Ryan, who refuses to make eye contact.

“Ashlyn, we’ve got to get back to work,” she says.

“Damn right we do,” Ashlyn says as Ryan makes his escape. “Whitney! What the hell?”

“Don’t be mad,” Whit says.

“Mad?” Ashlyn asks. “Are you kidding me? I’m thrilled. If I’m mad, it’s only because you shoot down every single guy I try to set you up with.”

“Okay, yes,” Whitney says. “But Ryan and I have been talking since last summer, so all year I’ve been so focused on this summer, and he finally made his move.”

“I’m very happy for you,” Ashlyn says. “I’m glad one of us will be getting laid this summer.”

“I’m not getting laid,” Whit hisses. “Not yet anyway.”

“Right, I forgot you’re one of those,” Ashlyn says, not that she ever forgot. She loves Whitney for all her quirks, even the way she’s only been with one guy and seems concerned anytime Ashlyn has a one-night stand. “Either way, I’m not getting made out with in the shed, that’s for sure.”

“Camp is supposed to be about fun and relaxation, not summer flings,” Whitney says.

“You realize you’re literally the only one who thinks that, right?” Ashlyn asks. “Come on. Alex and Kelley? Amy and Adam? Lauren and Jrue?”

“They don’t count, they’re together all year,” Whit says.

“But where did they meet?” Ashlyn says, and Whit has to concede.

“Camp,” she admits. “What happened to Ali’s little crush?”

“Okay, first I’m hurt that you think anyone could have a crush on me that is anything but massive and life-ruining,” she says. “But it’s still very much there. And she’s still very much in love with Tyler.”

“She’s not in love with him,” Whit says. “Trust me. But you’re right, she’s probably not over everything that happened.”

“Clearly,” Ashlyn says. “She was so broken up about just seeing him today that she kissed me in the cabin.”

“She what?” Whit asks.

“She kissed me,” Ashlyn says. “And I told her I wasn’t going to be a rebound and that we could be friends.”

“So it’s your own fault you aren’t getting laid,” Whitney says, and Ashlyn glares at her.

“Technically, yes, but I thought you’d be impressed about me being a good person,” Ashlyn says. “You’re the one who told me to take it easy on her.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Whitney says. “I am proud of you. I didn’t mean to assume you’d be a bad co-counselor for Ali. I know how great you are. I was just looking out for her. And I hope you know I’d do the same—”

“You’d do the same for me, I know,” Ashlyn says, smiling. “That’s why you’re the best, Whit. And that’s why I’ll kick that guy’s ass if he messes with you.”

“I know,” Whit says. “Why do you think I made you come to camp with me?”

~

By the time Ashlyn gets back to the cabin and gets all the girls settled and ready for bed (much easier task when everyone is wiped out from a day of running all over camp), all she wants to do is pass out. It’s only because it’s the first day of camp that the schedule was so jam-packed, and over the summer things will start becoming more relaxed, everyone assures her.

But when Ali comes out of the bathroom wearing her usual bedtime outfit of shorts and a tank top and beelines to the porch, Ashlyn feels inclined to follow. She slips out shortly after to see Ali on the swing, sitting criss-cross applesauce.

Ali straightens up upon seeing Ashlyn, letting her legs fall to the front of the swing. “Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” Ashlyn replies. “Did you end up having a good day?”

“It balanced out,” Ali says. “Listen, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Ashlyn asks. “Everyone cries. You had a good reason.”

“Not for that,” Ali says. “I’m just sorry for making it weird after… you know.”

“No weirdness here,” Ashlyn says. “Sometimes I don’t get you, but that’s the case with every girl I like.”

“Don’t do that,” Ali says, blushing.

“What?”

“Don’t make fun of me,” she says. “You were right. I need a friend, and I’m lucky to be in a cabin with you and get you as mine.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Ashlyn says. “I’ve meant everything I’ve said. But especially what I said about Tyler. He’s not worth it, and you deserve better. But single is better. Unattached is better. You have all the time in the world to pursue a romantic… entanglement.”

“I got it,” Ali says. They stay silent for a moment, then Ali laughs.

“What?” Ashlyn asks.

“I just can’t believe I’m sitting here with you,” Ali says. “It’s stupid.”

“What is?” Ashlyn asks.

“I’ve known Whitney for years,” Ali says. “Like, since we were kids. And we’ve been friends on Facebook and Instagram since we had those things. So like, I feel like I know you.”

“What?” Ashlyn laughs. “Are you serious?”

“It’s so embarrassing,” Ali says. “Because you’re going to look back and start to notice all the time I commented on photos of you two together hoping you’d notice. And of course you wouldn’t, at least not on Instagram, because you have like a million followers.”

Not quite true, but Ashlyn does have a decent following due to a few reposts from different tattoo Instagram accounts, so she can honestly say she never noticed Ali.

“You thirst followed me?” Ashlyn asks. “Alexandra Krieger, I am amazed.”

“Alexandra?” Ali asks. “How’d you know that?”

“I—guessed?” Ashlyn stammers, but Ali smirks.

“You looked me up,” she says. “You found my Facebook.”

“Fine,” Ashlyn says. “I was curious! Can you blame me?”

Ali just laughs. “Flattered,” she says.

“Whatever, you’re the one who thirst followed me!” Ashlyn says. “You better hope I don’t get to my phone before you are able to unlike all the pictures you liked.”

Ali buries her head in her hands, embarrassed. “I really want to kiss you right now,” she whispers.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. She stays still, almost daring Ali to make a move, but Ali figures her out. She always has been able to read the game a few plays ahead.

“But I won’t,” Ali says. “Because we’re friends, and because seeing him still makes me lose my mind.”

“Right,” Ashlyn says. “But it won’t forever. And I really look forward to that day.”

“Me too,” Ali says quietly. “If we’re going to be friends, can I tell you something? I mean, I feel I should tell you. I need someone else to know. I mean, besides Kyle.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says. “I mean, am I ready for this kind of pressure? I might have to do some soul-searching.”

“Hush,” Ali says. “I don’t know what Penguin told you about me and Tyler—”

“Nothing,” Ashlyn says quickly. Too quickly, and Ali narrows her eyes.

“Okay, spill,” Ali says.

Ashlyn sighs. “Just don’t get mad at Whit.”

“Do I look like I have enough energy to be mad at her?” Ali asks, raising her eyebrows.

“Fair,” Ashlyn says. “She just said you two dated for a long time and he broke up with you after… you know…”

“Ashlyn Harris can’t say sex?” Ali asks. “This is not what I expected. Based on your general social media presence anyway.”

“You make me nervous,” Ashlyn says. “You already know I like you and I’m attracted to you. Stop making me admit things that neither of us want to think about.”

Ali smiles shyly. “Okay, well that isn’t really the whole truth.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, it’s true. He came to visit me at school last year, and it was the first time we… you know.” Ashlyn raises her eyebrow, and Ali just rolls her eyes. “Had sex.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says. “What, so he was a jerk and just dumped you after that?”

“No,” Ali says. “We were together till last summer. We came to camp and everything was fine for the most part. I had been dealing with some things on my own, though, and I needed someone to talk to, so I figured I could talk to him.”

Ashlyn wants to ask what kind of things, but she just swallows her curiosity and nods.

Ali takes a shaky breath. “I loved him, I really did,” she says. “And I was never interested in anyone else, at least not seriously, but I just felt ingenuine.”

“How so?” Ashlyn asks.

“When my brother came out, it was a huge deal,” Ali says. “I mean, yes, we can laugh about the fact that nobody was too surprised, but he went through a lot to get to this point. And I felt bad that it was so easy for me to hide while he just couldn’t. I could have stayed with Tyler forever, married him, been totally happy. Or I could have dated other guys and been fine. But I had so much guilt that Kyle had to deal with so much while I could feel the same way about girls but nobody ever had to know.”

Ashlyn nods slowly. She thinks she knows where this is going, but she so desperately hopes she’s wrong.

“So I told Tyler one night that I felt that way,” Ali says, staring down at her hands in her lap. “And he didn’t freak out or run away, which I thought was a success. He kind of laughed it off and said it was okay. He said it wouldn’t bother him if I made out with another girl, which wasn’t the point I was trying to make, but he was accepting, so I just didn’t question it.”

Ashlyn sighs. Yep, she definitely knows where this is going.

“Anyway, there were a few times he’d bring it up, and he’d point out certain girls he thought were hot and I should make out with in front of him,” Ali says. “I never did with any of the girls at camp, but when we went out on nights off I did a few times. And it made me feel so gross, like I was putting on some show for his enjoyment. I only wanted to be with him, I didn’t want to be with any of them. I’ve never been the kind of girl who can just kiss someone for fun, you know? Guys or girls.”

“Right,” Ashlyn says.

“So I told him I didn’t want to do that,” Ali says. “I told him that I didn’t feel like he was taking me seriously, and he just laughed because of course he wasn’t. He said it was a phase, that nobody can really like both, and that he knew it wouldn’t last. I tried explaining to him how I felt, that it was the same thing as him liking me, and he just brushed it off. Finally he said if I really liked girls that much I was a lesbian and he didn’t want to waste his time on me anymore.”

Ashlyn’s breath stills. “Alex, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Ali says. “I just wanted you to know. That’s why we broke up. That’s part of why it freaked me out when you kissed me in front of everyone, including some of his friends. And obviously seeing him after that happened wasn’t ideal. It’s not like I’m trying to hide anything, I just don’t feel as much pressure to make some big proclamation, you know? Everyone who matters knows.”

“Sure,” Ashlyn says softly. She puts a hand to still both of Ali’s, which are still fidgeting in her lap. “I’m really glad you shared that with me.”

“Yeah,” Ali says. “Nobody knows that’s why we broke up, though. They just think what they want, and it’s fine. I like it that way.”

“He’s a douchebag,” Ashlyn says. “If he couldn’t accept you for who you are, he doesn’t deserve you. And it was especially shitty of him to make you question that after you trusted him with it.” Ali just nods, and Ashlyn puts an arm around her shoulders. “You’re not half bad, Alexandra Krieger,” she says, and Ali sniffles, but looks up smiling.

“It feels really good to have told someone that,” she says. “And I’m really glad you’re here. And that we’re friends.”

“It’s not every day you get lucky enough to sit on a porch swing with someone you shamelessly followed on Instagram because you thought they were hot,” Ashlyn teases. “And it’s not every day I meet such an adoring fan.”

“Shut up,” Ali whines. “I’m going to regret telling you that.”

“Maybe,” Ashlyn says.

“He’s going to be around tomorrow,” Ali says.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “And every day after that. But the cool thing is the hardest part is over. Every day it’ll get a little easier until you’re just so used to it that it doesn’t faze you anymore. And I for one am really excited for that day.”

“So you won’t have to comfort me when I’m crying anymore?” Ali laughs. “I promise I’m not usually this bad.”

“I don’t mind the tears,” Ashlyn says. “I’m just excited because that’s the day I finally get to kiss you for real.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTIONS!  
> 1\. Is Ashlyn right about Ali needing time to heal? Why or why not?  
> 2\. How do you feel about the Whitney/Ryan situation, especially knowing what we know now about Tyler?  
> 3\. Favorite line(s)? (Bet you thought I’d forgotten. HA.)  
> 4\. Which would you choose for a free period: Arts & crafts with Becky or yoga with Press?  
> 5\. Predictions for the next chapter?
> 
> As always, feel free to answer the questions or just spill all your innermost thoughts and feelings!


	3. Friendly Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali and Ashlyn battle it out for their own individual causes, and Ashlyn has an altercation at the waterfront.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't commit to a timeline for updates, but I appreciate you all being patient! I can't even guarantee once a week because it all depends on lots of different things, but I've been overwhelmed with inspiration. Keep the kind words and messages coming, because they really do motivate me!
> 
> (Friday, June 23)

Ashlyn finally makes it to a jog with Ali on the very last day of the first week. Thursday had been a relatively relaxed day, and Ashlyn had spent most of it with Whit and Press, using her free sessions to actually relax.

If Press knows anything about Ashlyn and Ali apart from what happened Saturday night at truth or dare, she’s not saying, but Ashlyn would be surprised if she did. Whit is a great secret-keeper, and she’s fiercely protective of Ashlyn, even when it comes to her other best friends.

Kelley and HAO had joined them at lunch, and when Kelley’s cabin decided to camp out in the conference center for rest hour while Whit and Christen’s girls chose to go back to the cabin, Ashlyn and HAO went with Kelley, figuring it might be fun to build some forts for a quick nap. Besides, Ashlyn didn’t want to be in charge of waking everyone in her cabin up because she felt like she could sleep forever.

Ashlyn knew she was officially in camp mode when she could quickly and happily fall asleep on the less-than-comfortable carpet in a huge room filled with whispering teenagers. She and HAO fell asleep in a corner of the room with Kelley and Alex as they whispered and murmured quietly to each other, and Ashlyn blames them for the dream she has about Ali that ends far too soon.

It’s a good thing she did get rest during the day, though, because it makes it much easier to not groan and shut off her alarm when it sounds at 5 a.m. the next day. She wakes up enough to hear Ali shuffling around almost silently, and she wakes up fully upon realizing that if she gets up right now that’s at least an hour of uninterrupted one-on-one time with Ali.

“Hey,” Ali says when Ashlyn walks into the bathroom, and she sounds surprised, but pleasantly so. “Feeling brave?”

“Are you?” Ashlyn asks. “I’m going to kick your ass.”

“You can try,” Ali shrugs, sliding a headband over her hair, which she has pulled back into a sleek ponytail.

“Want to make it interesting?” Ashlyn asks. Ali meets her eyes in the mirror, raising an eyebrow. “Figured you would.”

“I’m listening,” Ali says.

“If you win, I’ll take you for a boat ride on our next day off,” she says.

Ali narrows her eyes. “And I would like that because…?”

“Because I’ll go into town and make the most amazing picnic basket you’ve ever seen,” she says. “You can’t say no to food.”

“And if you win?” Ali asks, turning around and folding her arms across her chest.

“I thought you didn’t think that was a possibility,” Ashlyn challenges.

“It’s not,” Ali says, smirking. “But I don’t doubt you’d cheat.”

“I may be many things, but I am not a cheater,” Ashlyn says. “If I win, you have to do the high ropes course.”

“No,” Ali says. “Not happening.”

On their first night on the porch, Ali had told Ashlyn that she used to do the 40-foot-high ropes course multiple times every summer, but when she was 15, she slipped on a plank while it was raining and ended up dangling from the cables for 30 minutes because she couldn’t reach the next one and nobody could get to her because of the weight limits on each cable.

It sounded horrifying, and Ashlyn really couldn’t blame Ali for her apprehension, but a result of that incident was a renovation of the course, including reinforced cables that could hold twice the weight they previously could. Even still, she hasn’t dared since.

On the first full day of training, when the whole staff was required to do the ropes course as a team-building activity, Ali was exempt. At the time, Ashlyn had chalked it up to diva behavior, but now she feels a little bad about that. She had still encouraged and cheered for every single person, especially Kyle, who was the winner for fastest time.

“Then it’s a good thing I can’t possibly win, isn’t it?” Ashlyn says.

~

Ashlyn wins.

She learns Ali’s secret to being so perky in the mornings: coffee. They walk to the dining hall, where Cap and Boxxy are up and working on administrative things for the day, and Ali and Ashlyn drink their coffee in silence, letting it settle in.

Ashlyn follows Ali’s lead in stretching, and the “warm-up” jog is a brisk pace that Ashlyn hasn’t run in years, but she keeps up. Ali drives her, mostly because Ashlyn hates to lose, especially to someone who’s as quietly cocky as Ali.

She comes off as confident to most people, but when she and Ashlyn are alone, she has this shy mumble and posture that suggests she isn’t entirely sure of herself. But when she’s doing something she knows she’s good at—running, playing soccer, leading a group of campers—she is in the zone.

And when she’s in a competition, she plays dirty. And she does not take losing well. So when Ashlyn beats her in their final sprint to the flagpole, Ali doesn’t even congratulate her.

“Come on, no good game?” Ashlyn teases. “Poor sportsmanship, Krieger.”

“Good game,” Ali says shortly, turning to head back to the cabin.

“Oh come on,” Ashlyn says. “It was just for fun. You don’t have to do the high ropes if you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Ali retorts. “I’m not a wimp, I can handle a challenge, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn puts her hands up in a defensive manner. “Okey doke,” she says. “Whatever you say.”

“I hate losing,” Ali says, and Ashlyn has to laugh.

“You don’t say.”

“Let’s race back to the cabin,” Ali says. “I’m better at distance.”

“Why would that make me want to agree?” Ashlyn laughs. “I’m clinging to this victory for the rest of my life.”

“Okay, well I’ll get you back,” Ali says. “Kayak race today? I have a free period when our girls have sailing.”

“You’re not coming to that, are you?” Ashlyn asks.

“Of course I am,” Ali says. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Ashlyn regrets saying anything. “No, I just—It’s Friday, I guess I thought you’d want to chill out.”

“I know he’s going to be there,” Ali says. She had seen the schedule. She memorizes it every week.

“So…” Ashlyn says.

“It still sucks,” Ali says, shrugging. “But if I’m going to move on, I have to put myself in uncomfortable situations. And if it means getting to spend more time with the girls and getting the chance to kick your ass in a kayak race, you better believe I’ll take it.”

“Good,” Ashlyn says, smiling.

She’s not sure if pride is a thing you’re supposed to feel for someone you’ve only known a week, but she’s nearly bursting at the seams at how far Ali seems to have come in just a few days.

On Tuesday, Cap announced at flag lowering that Tyler’s cabin won best bunk for the boys’ side, and Ali had rolled her eyes toward Ashlyn, but she still clapped along with the rest of camp. On Wednesday, Ali and Tyler had been in the same group for a counselor skit, and she hadn’t even flinched, though Ashlyn did sense that she felt a little off afterward. On Thursday, his name had come up in conversation over breakfast, and Ali pretended not to notice how every eye had gone toward her, ignoring it in favor of making a joke about the scrambled eggs.

And today, Ali is voluntarily putting herself in a situation where she’ll have to work with him, and Ashlyn can’t help but feel proud of her.

“And it doesn’t hurt that it means I get to hang out with you,” Ali says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world.

~

Ashlyn spends the whole morning weirdly nervous for her waterfront session with Ali. On the one hand, she’s nervous about really leading her cabin for the first time, and on the other, she’s nervous on Ali’s behalf for being around Tyler. She also doesn’t really know how to handle him knowing what she knows now.

She gives Ryan the benefit of the doubt, trusting Whitney’s ability to discern, and she often forgets he and Tyler are even friends. But when Tyler shows up, it’s almost like he flips a switch and is suddenly in bro mode. Even Whitney looks annoyed.

“You good?” Ashlyn asks as they gather life vests for the groups.

“Yeah,” Whit says. “I just hate that guy.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn says. But she knows if Whitney knew the real reason Tyler and Ali broke up, she’d hate him even more. “Why is Ryan even friends with him?”

Whitney rolls her eyes. “As if I know,” she says. “He’s way smarter and more mature than any of those frat boy losers, but it’s almost like he doesn’t even care. Like he’s willing to dumb himself down just to hang out with them.”

“To be fair, he doesn’t really have options,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Dom,” Whit says. “Jrue. Adam. Serv. Kyle. They’re all great guys!”

Ashlyn shrugs, but something bothers her about that. They are great guys, so why wouldn’t Ryan hang out with them? Part of her feels like it’s comfort because he’s always hung out with them, but another itty bitty part wonders if Ryan would hang out with those guys if Kyle weren’t part of their crew. She knows it’s stupid and that she’s passing an unfair judgment based on one story about one guy he hangs out with, but it’s enough to worry her. But not enough to alarm Whit, and certainly not enough to tell Ali’s secret, so she lets it go.

“Ready to eat my dust?” Ali says, sneaking up on them. Ashlyn practically jumps out of her skin because she was so lost in her own head, but Whit just smiles at her.

“Are we racing?” she asks Ashlyn. “I thought we were just doing sailing basics today.”

“We are,” Ashlyn says. “Krieger has it all worked out in her head that she’s going to have some miraculous comeback from her stunning defeat at the Battle of Cedar Falls. She can’t take me in a foot race, but for some reason she thinks she can cream me on the water?”

“Are those fighting words?” Ali asks, raising an eyebrow. “Are you scared?”

“Please,” Ashlyn says. “I just don’t want to embarrass you in front of all our campers.”

“You live to embarrass me, we established that on day one,” Ali scoffs. “Whit, be the judge?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Whitney agrees. “I’ve seen both of you lose, and it’s not pretty. I’m just bummed we don’t have any popcorn.”

During the lesson, Ashlyn subtly watches Ali as she helps the campers adjust their sails. She’s so good with all of them, and when it’s time to hit the water and Ali shimmies out of her shorts and T-shirt, Ashlyn has to remind herself not to stare. She’s never seen anyone rock a one-piece quite so nicely, and the high cut above her thighs makes her mind wander to places she’s only ever let herself think about in the cabin after dark.

The kids sail under the counselors’ supervision for a while, whining and complaining about how it is unfair that they can’t sail all the way to the little island about a quarter of a mile away because they were allowed to last year (right, after two weeks of practice, Whitney reminds them), but they eventually get distracted playing made-up pirate games while the counselors cool down in the water.

Ashlyn thinks her favorite part of camp is watching jaded teenagers reclaim their sense of imagination and adventure. These are weird ages, but it gives her hope that kids who probably go through their whole school years feeling a constant pressure to fit in and be themselves while still being cool and accepted can come to camp and just be kids, never have to feel like they have to be anything more or less than who they really are.

She glances toward Tyler, who is hanging onto a life raft and talking to Ryan, Moe, and another CIT who she thinks is named Eric, who are all swimming around with the excitable campers. She doesn’t know if it’s just the perception she has from Ali, but he really does get under her skin. Something about him makes her feel nervous, like he’s always trying to show off and waiting for the opportunity to humiliate someone else.

Her heart sinks when she realizes how she could have come across the same way in the first day or so with Ali, and how Ali had likely dealt with that throughout their relationship. But before she can get too caught up in her thoughts, Ali swims up beside her, a twinkle in her eyes.

“Ready?” she asks, and Ashlyn looks up to see Whitney on the dock, lifeguard whistle in hand, standing by two kayaks she and Ali must have dragged out of the shed when Ashlyn wasn’t paying attention. “I called dibs on the red one.”

“I like blue better anyway,” Ashlyn says, and Ali rolls her eyes, still smiling.

Ashlyn follows Ali to the kayaks and steadies Ali’s while Ali climbs in. “Chivalrous,” Ali teases, but she takes one of the handles of Ashlyn’s to steady it while Ashlyn jumps in.

“Okay, so the race is out to the buoy and back,” Whitney says. Ashlyn looks toward all the campers, who are now gathered in a huddle in the water to watch this impromptu competition. “I’ll be standing in the water far enough from the shore that you don’t completely wreck your kayak or behead yourselves going under the dock, so you’re welcome for that. The first one to reach me and slap my hand wins. Do not hit me with your kayak or you’re disqualified. Got it?”

“Got it,” they say in unison.

 

“On your marks,” Whitney says, and Ashlyn grips her paddle tightly, sneaking a glance at Ali, who just smirks. “Get set.” She pauses for a moment, loving the suspense, then blows her whistle, and they’re off.

Ashlyn keeps her eyes fixed on the buoy as she paddles furiously. As long as she can keep her arms pumping, she thinks, she’ll have Ali beat. Ali, who’s taking long, slow strokes. Ali, whose kayak is gliding across the water in a straight line toward the buoy, pulling lengths ahead of Ashlyn’s.

“Shit,” Ashlyn curses, deciding to change her game plan a little too late. She slows down her strokes, letting the kayak float on the water instead of trying to propel it with her own body. Ali is turning around the buoy, a satisfied smile on her face as she passes Ashlyn, but Ashlyn won’t be deterred, making a sharp turn around the buoy as she chases after her.

It’s too late, though, and when she finally redirects her boat toward Whitney, Ali is already triumphant.

“In your face, Harris!” Ali exclaims giddily.

As competitive as Ashlyn is, she kind of likes Ali’s excitement when she wins. And she definitely prefers it to the silent treatment she received from Ali after beating her this morning. When Ashlyn glides up in her kayak, she extends her hand, which Ali takes, shaking it firmly.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Ashlyn says just loud enough for Ali to hear, and she blushes. “I guess I owe you that boat ride now.”

“Guess so,” Ali says. “But maybe I should drive, because it could take us ages if you drive a boat as slowly as you row a kayak.”

Her taunting giggles are lost when Ashlyn flips over her kayak, launching her into the water, and it’s worth the scolding she gets from Whitney about setting a good example for the campers.

~

Ashlyn has just brought in the last sailboat when she hears hushed voices behind the shed. She assumes it’s Ryan and Whitney, so she throws open the back door to freak them out, only to find Moe and Tyler. Moe has a towel wrapped around her, and Tyler is leaning against the wall.

“Hey,” he says, grinning at Ashlyn. “Tough loss out there. I was rooting for you.” Ashlyn doesn’t say anything, stunned that he would have the nerve to speak to her before realizing he doesn’t know everything she does. And he wasn’t around for truth or dare the other night.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks. “Don’t you have campers to be watching?” She directs the last part at Moe, whose face falls, and she immediately feels bad. “Moe, can you take the girls to lunch? I don’t want them to be late.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Moe says. “See you later, Ty!”

He nods to Moe and smiles back at Ashlyn. His teeth are too white, Ashlyn thinks. Like creepy serial killer white.

“She’s 17,” Ashlyn says.

“Okay?” he says.

“Whatever you’re trying to pull, don’t,” Ashlyn says. “I’ve got your number, and I’m not letting any of my girls near you.”

Tyler laughs, rolling his eyes. “So what did Ali tell you?”

“Enough,” Ashlyn answers. “All I’m saying is stay away from her. First of all, it’s against the rules. Second of all, you’re a disgusting excuse for a human being. I’ll be civil to you, but I won’t be happy about it. And you’re going to want to stay as far from me as possible this summer, because if you take the chance of getting into a position to be on my bad side—more than you already are, that is—you’ll regret it.”

“I don’t know who pissed in your coffee,” Tyler grumbles. “But I’ve never done anything to you.”

“No, but you mess with one of my co-counselors, you mess with me,” she says. “I’m including Moe in that because she’s my CIT, so if you really want to make it two, just try. Just see.” She turns around and goes back into the shed, slamming the door behind her. Whitney is standing there, eyebrows raised, and Ashlyn shakes her head. “Taking care of business,” she says.

Whitney nods slowly, but doesn’t question her any further. She’s learned better than to ask questions she doesn’t want the answers to.

~

One big difference between camp and the real world is that weekends aren’t really weekends. Sure, the schedule changes a great deal to allow more freedom, but the counselors are almost always on call. Every counselor gets one weekend off and five days off throughout the summer that you have to request a week in advance. After the first week of camp, counselors get about three or four nights off per week, but going places in town is often such a hassle that they just end up hanging out in the lounge or around camp.

That’s where Ashlyn and Ali find themselves on Friday night after leaving Moe to handle lights out with the girls. Ashlyn had caught up with her at lunch to explain her outburst, and Moe had laughed, explaining that she is not even remotely interested in Tyler (“he’s like… old”) and that she had been hoping he could hook her up with his CIT, Eric, who she had been flirting with all day. She scrunched up her nose at the thought of Tyler, though, which gave Ashlyn comfort.

The campers love Moe, and it’s easy to see why, as she’s pretty much their age group. She’s relaxed and goes with the flow, which Ashlyn appreciates, though Ali has been trying to instill a bit more structure, making a color-coded chore chart that hangs on the bathroom door so every morning each girl knows her task to tidy up the cabin for the day. Ali is very into winning the best cabin award as often as possible, and not just because of the prize at the end of camp.

Ashlyn drags her feet down the path to the lounge as Ali attempts to explain the rules of a game she’s going to introduce next week called “kiddie pool kickball.” Ashlyn loves hearing how excited Ali gets about her job, and it’s amazing that she still puts 110 percent effort in every day even after doing it for so many summers. Carli and Hope definitely love the sports and games too, but they’re more into the playing and coaching aspects, whereas Ali loves to focus on the fun and the new things that will get campers excited.

“I have to tell you something, but you can’t get mad,” Ashlyn says right before they get to the lounge. Ali stops, turning to her with a concerned look on her face.

“Okay,” she says. “What’s up?”

“I kind of bitched at Tyler today,” Ashlyn says. “I know I should have stayed out of it, but he was hitting on Moe, and I was feeling protective, and he had this shit-eating grin on his face, and I just couldn’t take it.”

Ali waits for her to go on, but when she doesn’t, she laughs. “That’s it? You think I’d be mad at you for putting him in his place?” she asks. “I mean, you didn’t say anything about what we talked about, right?”

“Of course not,” Ashlyn says. “That’s between us. Promise.”

“In that case, I’m very happy,” Ali says. “You defended my honor.”

“I did not—”

“You did so!” Ali says smugly. “Tell me you would have done that if I hadn’t told you what he’d done.”

“Fine,” Ashlyn says. “But he was also hitting on Moe!”

“I’m proud that you stood up for our girl,” Ali says. “But I’m going to cling tight to your chivalry, so just let me have it.”

“If you insist,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Hey, you two!” a voice chirps, and Ashlyn spins around. It’s Alex, who’s accompanied by Kelley and their eternal third wheel, HAO. HAO is engaged, but her fiance, Dave, is not a camp person, so he only shows up about once a summer.

“Just the people I wanted to see,” Ashlyn says. “Well, not you, Alex. I mean, you too of course. But HAO and KO, soul sisters, I need your help.” She sees Ali cross her arms across her chest from the corner of her eye. “This one,” she says, nodding to Ali. “Made a deal with me that if I beat her in a race, she’d do the high ropes course.”

“No way!” Kelley exclaims, but HAO looks at Ali with concern. “Dude, when’s the race?”

“It was this morning,” Ashlyn says. “And I won.”

“What?” Kelley says in disbelief. “Krieger lost at something?”

“Watch it,” Ali says. “When can we get this over with?”

“Are you kidding?” Kelley asks. “We can do it right now!”

“No we can’t,” HAO corrects. “Don’t get too excited, Kel.” She looks at Ali, who looks like she’s pretending to not be as terrified as she is. “We can do it in the morning if you want,” she says. “Nobody else will be out there.”

“Okay,” Ali agrees, and Ashlyn can almost feel her shaking with nerves. “Yeah, let’s do that. Right after breakfast.”

“Perfect!” Kelley exclaims. “Alex, want to come?”

“I do have to, you know, work,” Alex teases. “I promised the girls we’d take them on a nature walk tomorrow, but I’m sure they won’t miss you.” Kelley pouts, and Alex pecks her on the lips. “I do expect pictures and a full video of this, though. You’ve got this, Kriegs!”

It’s the nerves that make Ali ready to head back to the cabin early, Ashlyn thinks when she stands up from her spot on the couch where they are observing a raucous game of Clue with Tobin, Alyssa, Cheney, and A Rod.

“I’m gonna head back,” Ali says, and Ashlyn stands up. “You don’t have to come.”

“Yeah, but I’m ready too,” Ashlyn says. Not necessarily true, but she would go wherever Ali decided at this point. “And you shouldn’t walk alone so late.”

“We’re at camp,” she laughs, but she doesn’t argue. They walk back to the cabin mostly in silence, Ali’s fears about tomorrow consuming her. Ashlyn tries to make small talk to get her mind off it, but it doesn’t take.

“You know you don’t have to do it,” Ashlyn says when they get to the porch.

“Do what?” Ali says, playing dumb.

“The ropes,” Ashlyn says. “Nobody’s going to fault you for bowing out.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” Ali says, looking Ashlyn straight in the eye. “Ever. And don’t they say you should do one thing that scares you every day?” Ashlyn shrugs. Sounds like an Anson quote if she ever heard one. “Tomorrow’s thing will just be a little bigger.”

“If you’re sure,” Ashlyn says.

“I am,” Ali says. “You’ll be there, right?” Ashlyn nods. “Good. Then you’ll get to feel really bad if I die.” She smirks to let Ashlyn know she’s only joking, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes as she quietly opens the door to the cabin where all the girls are sleeping.

Ashlyn is a lot more tired than she thought, which she doesn’t realize till she’s woken up before she even knows she’s fallen asleep. She doesn’t even remember brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas, but when she’s jolted awake by a soft shake, she knows she must have done all that.

“Shh,” Ali whispers, sitting on her bed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Is everything okay?” Ashlyn asks, sitting up. Ali just nods, and in the faint light Ashlyn can see she’s biting her lip. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah,” Ali says. “But not about that.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says. “What’s up?”

“Every night since last summer, every single night when I go to bed, I think about him,” Ali says. “This has been non-stop for a year. And a few nights ago, it changed so drastically and so suddenly. I started thinking about him, but I found myself thinking about you. And last night, I only thought about you. And then I dreamt about you. And then all day, all I could think about was you. When we were at waterfront today, I barely registered he was there. And tonight, same story. I can’t take it any longer.”

Before Ashlyn can even take a breath to form a reply, Ali leans toward her. Her hand has found Ashlyn’s, and she squeezes it when she presses her lips to Ashlyn’s softly.

Ashlyn pulls away after a moment, and it feels like that moment when you’ve hit the snooze button and you’re in a blissful state where you could just fall right back to sleep but you have to make yourself wake up because you know what’s at stake.

“Alex,” she says softly.

“I had to,” Ali says. “You said to kiss you when I needed to, and I needed to.”

“Why do you think that?” Ashlyn asks gently, slowly taking her hand away from Ali’s.

“Because we only have eight weeks here, and I’m not wasting another second on him when I could be spending it on you,” Ali whispers. “I know you’ve been looking out for me, and I appreciate it. But I’m ready to be done with him. It hasn’t hurt for a long time, really. I’ve just been numb. And ever since Saturday night, when you kissed me that first time, I’ve remembered what it’s like to feel things. And I’m not going to deprive myself of that to think about someone who I wouldn’t want to be with anyway.”

“I’m proud of you,” Ashlyn says. “And not just because it got me a kiss.”

“More where that came from,” Ali promises, leaning back in to prove it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question Time!  
> 1\. Favorite line(s)?  
> 2\. What do you think is going to happen at high ropes tomorrow?  
> 3\. Favorite character(s)?  
> 4\. Thoughts and feeeeeels re: the ending? (Also feel free to share your thoughts/feelings about the whole thing)  
> 5\. What do you think is on deck for Chapter 4? ;)
> 
> ALSOOO bonus question... I've been playing with the idea of changing perspectives, like going back and forth (not constantly, but here and there) between Ali and Ashlyn's points of view... would that be something you'd be interested in? Or do you prefer it this way? Let me know ;)


	4. Up in the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali conquers a fear, Ashlyn makes a new friend, and a competition for Ashlyn's affection ensues. Oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who humored me by leaving comments! As long as the chapters keep coming to me, I'm gonna keep bringing them to you, but seriously, feedback is CRUCIAL. I know sometimes people don't know what to say, which is why I leave the questions, like a little guided reading thing ;) I really appreciate all the kind words!
> 
> Also, I know when I started this I didn't expect it to be too many chapters, but that might be changing. I promise it won't be anything insanely long and never-ending (I mean... summer has to come to an end eventually, right?), but I definitely have a fairrrrr few more chapters in me.
> 
> (Saturday, June 24 - Sunday, June 25)

They share a few small kisses before Ali goes back to her bed, and Ashlyn lies awake feeling like every nerve ending is on fire. She tries to process everything she’s feeling, but it’s so exhausting that she ends up falling asleep in the middle of one of the thousands of “what-if” scenarios running through her mind.

In the morning, Ali carries on as if everything is normal, going for her usual run and taking her usual shower. Ashlyn takes the same stall after Ali exits, her body and hair both wrapped in towels.

“Ash?” Ali calls just after Ashlyn disrobes. “Are you decent? I left my shampoo and conditioner in there.” Ashlyn looks, and Ali certainly has, so she wraps a towel around her body before opening the stall. When she does, Ali slips in, bypassing the bottles Ashlyn is handing to her. She stands on her tiptoes and presses a small, silent kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. “I left them on purpose,” she whispers, taking the bottles and exiting the stall, leaving a stunned Ashlyn in her wake.

Ashlyn thinks maybe after a few more kisses she’ll stop feeling this thrilled every time Ali’s lips brush her own, but for now, she never wants the feeling to end.

Ali makes a beeline to Kyle at flag raising, and when he looks over at Ashlyn and smiles, she knows exactly what she’s telling him. She gives them a little wave and rolls her eyes.

“Where did you go last night?” Whitney asks, jogging up to walk with Ashlyn to breakfast after all of camp recited the pledge of allegiance. “I went to the bathroom and you were gone.”

 

“Ali was tired,” Ashlyn says.

“Well in that case,” Whitney laughs. “I don’t get why you two don’t just cut the crap and go for it already.”

“We did,” Ashlyn says, trying to bite back a smile when Whitney looks at her in shock. “She did, actually.”

“Spill!” Whit hisses. “And why did I wake up to zero texts from you? This is unacceptable.”

“It was really late,” Ashlyn says. “She woke me up and said she’d been thinking, and then she kissed me.”

“Wow,” Whitney says. “So what does that…”

“I don’t know what it means,” Ashlyn snaps, immediately sorry for her tone. “Sorry, still trying to figure it out for myself.”

“But she said she’d been thinking about what, being with you?” Whit asks.

“I guess,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t know how camp flings work.”

Whit narrows her eyes. “Camp flings. Right.”

“What?”

“You should probably make sure you’re both on the same page there,” she says. “I’ve seen relationships end horribly because someone thinks it’s something it’s not.”

“If you’re worried about me hurting Ali, don’t be,” Ashlyn says.

“I know you never would on purpose, Ash,” Whit says. “But, just be careful.”

“You ready, Harris?” Kelley asks, coming up behind them. “This is going to be sick.”

“Are you coming on the nature walk with us?” Whitney asks Ashlyn. She and Press and their campers are joining Alex’s adventurous bunch on the morning activity.

“High ropes,” Ashlyn says. “Ali is taking it on.”

“No way,” Whitney says. “How on earth did you convince her to do that?”

“Won a bet,” Ashlyn says. “But she’s the one who said she wants to go through with it.”

“Are you kidding? I’m going,” Whit says. “Press and Alex can handle the campers.”

“No!” Ashlyn says. “I don’t want anyone else to be there, she’s already nervous enough as is. I don’t want her to be embarrassed if she wants to back out.”

Whitney smiles, the worry on her face gone. “You’re a good friend, Ash,” she says. “Ali is lucky.”

~

It isn’t until they are making the long trek to the high ropes course with HAO and KO that Ashlyn realizes she has no idea what to do around Ali. Part of her wants to hold her hand, but then she remembers that the only people who know about last night are the two of them and Whit and Kyle. And none of them know what it actually means for the coming weeks. Ashlyn makes a mental note to make sure they have that conversation at a less stressful time for Ali.

“You good?” Ashlyn asks as they near the wooded area housing the course, and Ali nods, looking up. She’s seen this a million times, watched camper after camper conquer their fears and complete it safely, even done it herself, but since the incident she hasn’t looked up at it quite the same.

“I’m ready,” she says, forcing herself to believe it. They all put on helmets for safety, and HAO straps on a harness and climbs the 40-foot rope ladder to get to the top like it’s nothing.

“Ready when you are!” HAO yells down.

“Aye aye, captain!” KO calls back, helping Ali step into her harness and tightening the straps where necessary. “You remember how this works, right?” she asks.

“Yes,” Ali says, hands tight against the hooks hanging from the ropes attached to her harness. “Always have one hook attached to a cable at all times so I don’t die, and don’t slip on a plank because you’ll end up with bruises in places nobody wants to be bruised.” She smiles. “I know that one from experience.”

“You’ve got this, girl,” KO says, high fiving Ali. “I’ll be taking pictures, and we’ll both be here for moral support.”

Ali stands at the bottom of the rope ladder, looking up, and KO hooks her to a rope dangling from the very top before getting into position to belay her. “Ash… ready?” she asks, looking behind her, and Ash nods, smiling.

“Ready?” she asks KO.

“Ready,” KO announces, loud and clear.

“Wait,” Ali says, and Ashlyn’s face falls.

“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks, rushing to her side.

“I just need one thing before I go,” Ali says quietly. She bites her lip, smiling shyly, and Ashlyn looks back to KO and up at HAO. They both look concerned.

“In front of—are you sure?” Ashlyn whispers. Ali just nods, so without looking at either of the other girls, Ashlyn presses a quick kiss to Ali’s lips. “Better?” she asks.

“Much,” Ali says, ignoring the look of shock on Kelley’s face. She can’t see HAO’s from here, but she imagines she’ll have questions when she gets to the top. “Okay, Kel. Ready?”

“Ready,” KO says, sounding less sure than before.

“Climbing,” Ali announces.

“Climb on!” KO and Ashlyn say, and she begins her ascent.

She trembles a bit at first, getting accustomed to the instability of the rope ladder, but she keeps her eyes fixed on HAO as Ashlyn cheers her on, and when she gets to the top, HAO pulls her up to stand on the platform, detaching her from the rope attached to Kelley.

“Way to go, Alex!” Ashlyn shouts, and Ali grins down as Kelley starts snapping pictures. “You did the hardest part, dude!”

“Ready for the next part?” HAO asks. “Nobody else is out here, so it’s all clear for you.” Ali nods, taking a deep breath. She hooks both “lobster claws” onto the first cable, staring down the first challenge, which is a relatively wide log she has to make her way across. Luckily, it’s completely dry, so she doesn’t have to worry about slipping, but she’s still a little freaked out, so she takes her time, placing one foot ahead of the other, only looking ahead, never down.

She lets out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding when she steps onto the platform at the end, and the girls all cheer. The next challenge is the easiest one, she thinks, but her soccer training probably has something to do with it. She has to walk across rungs of rope, which might be harder if her legs weren’t so strong. She wobbles through the obstacle, and when she finally makes it to the platform, her legs feel a little bit like jelly.

“Almost done!” Ashlyn calls, and Ali takes a few deep breaths, moving her hooks to the next cable. The final stretch of the course is the one she fell on so many years ago, and she can even see the responsible plank ahead of her. “Come on, Alex, you’ve got this!”

Ali takes a deep breath and steps onto the first plank. She knows the first step is the hardest, but she’s still connected to the platform, so she hasn’t really taken it yet. She lifts her left foot and brings it to the second plank, immediately feeling the imbalance and instability. She clings to the ropes lining the side, her body trembling, and she tries to step back, but her right foot slips from the plank unexpectedly. She maintains composure enough to move back to the platform, but now she’s shaken. She can’t go on. Her eyes fill with tears as she hears everyone cheering her on.

“Come on, Al!” Ashlyn yells. “You’re doing so good. You’re almost there, baby!” She’s never called her anything but her name or “princess,” and Ali is a bit thrown by it. Thrown in a good way, she supposes, but it makes her feel guilty for her inability to keep going.

“I can’t!” she calls back, voice shaking. “Please get me down.”

“Honey,” KO calls gently, but loud enough to be heard. “You know the only way down is across the planks and down the zip line. You’re almost there.”

Ali knows she’s right, but hearing it makes the tears fall faster. “I don’t think I can,” she says. Ashlyn stands right beneath her, looking up, not sure what to do or say. “Ashlyn, please.”

Please what? Ashlyn thinks. Kelley just told her there’s nothing they can do, and Ali certainly won’t want to go backwards now. But Ashlyn can’t ignore the terror in Ali’s voice, especially when she knows the only reason she’s even up there right now is because of a stupid bet Ashlyn forced her into.

Without saying anything, Ashlyn runs over to the area HAO and KO keep all the supplies, and she pulls a harness over her legs, grabbing the hooks and tightening the straps as she makes her way toward the rope ladder.

“Ready?” she asks, hooking herself onto the rope that’s still attached to the top on one side and Kelley on the other.

“What are you doing?” Kelley asks.

“Ready?” Ashlyn repeats.

“Ready,” Kelley says, and Ashlyn climbs the ladder quickly. She barely waits to be unhooked when she gets to the top before moving to the first stretch of the course, practically sprinting across the log. She’s not too scared of heights, and she did this a week ago, so she knows there’s nothing to be worried about. The rope rungs are a bit harder, but she uses mostly upper body strength to propel herself forward until she’s on the final tiny platform with Ali.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Ali says, eyes red. The tears have stopped now, but she’s still shaking. Ashlyn pulls her into a hug, rubbing her back.

“Hey, I got you into this,” Ashlyn says. “I’m going to stick with you to the end, alright?” Ali nods, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “You go ahead,” Ashlyn says. “And I’ll be right here. You won’t fall, and nothing is going to happen, but if it did, I’d be right here to catch you, got it?”

Ali nods again, taking another breath before stepping onto the first plank.

“There you go,” Ashlyn says. Ali takes another step, and then another, and another until she’s face to face with the plank she slipped on years ago. “Look at you go,” Ashlyn says, and Ali realizes she’s quite literally just a few steps behind her. “You are such a badass. It’s kind of hot.”

“Just kind of?” Ali laughs.

“It’d be really hot if you got to the end,” Ashlyn says. “But I can wait, I have a pretty great view from behind you.”

Ali rolls her eyes even though Ashlyn can’t see her, and she takes the scariest step yet. And when her foot lands and she picks up the other one to take another step, she doesn’t slip. And in two more steps, she’s made it to the end. She squeals when she reaches the platform, and when she’s safely stable, she turns to see Ashlyn stepping onto it as well. She wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, standing on her tiptoes to kiss her.

“Thank you,” Ali says. “Seriously. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“That was all you,” Ashlyn says. “But I get that you wanted me here. I’m pretty great.”

“Pretty cocky,” Ali says.

“Now is the fun part,” Ashlyn says, nodding toward the zip line. “HAO?” she calls. “Can we go down this together?”

“Yeah, just give me a sec!” HAO calls back, climbing down the rope ladder. “I want to watch it up close.”

Ali sits on the edge of the platform, and Ashlyn sits behind her, wrapping her arms tight around Ali’s waist.

“This was secretly your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Ali teases.

 

“Mine?” Ashlyn laughs. “Please. Your little damsel in distress act was such a ploy.”

“It’s gonna be a long walk back having to explain everything to them,” Ali says.

“It’s gonna be a long summer explaining it to everyone,” Ashlyn replies.

“Then what if we don’t?” Ali says.

“Can we at least explain it to ourselves?” Ashlyn asks. “Like, what are we doing? Because I’m following your lead.”

“That’s funny, because I’m following yours,” Ali says. “Why don’t we just… see what happens?”

“That does not sound like a very Ali Krieger thing to do,” Ashlyn says.

“It’s not,” Ali agrees. “But climbing into bed with you to kiss you isn’t either, and that worked out pretty well.”

“So we’re…”

“I like you,” Ali says. “And I really like kissing you. And I want to be around you all the time and know everything about you and do crazy things like going down zip lines together. And for now, I’m kind of okay with not knowing anything more than that.”

Ashlyn nods. As long as this is how not knowing anything feels, she thinks she could go along with that.

“Ready?” KO calls, and they look down to see HAO has now joined her.

“Ready!” Ashlyn calls. On the count of three, Ali inches off the platform and down the zipline, bringing Ashlyn with her. The exhilaration of the ride is amplified by doing it with Ali, and it only makes her heart beat faster when Ali turns her head to kiss her as they swing back and forth, eventually coming to a stop in the middle.

“I can honestly say I’ve never even considered doing that before,” Kelley says, setting up the ladder for them to climb down. “But now it’s on my bucket list, whether Alex likes it or not.”

“This is so not going to turn into a thing,” HAO says. “Do you know how many rules we just broke?”

“Well luckily they’re alive and nobody was out here to see it,” KO says with a shrug. “We’ll just have to make sure nobody sees the pictures for a while.”

That plan is foiled as soon as they get back to the main part of campus. All the teenagers are laying out and goofing around on “The Hill,” as it’s aptly named, and most of the little ones are running around playing tag with their counselors. Kyle is running around with a shrieking 8-year-old flung over his shoulder, but he puts him down when Ali and Ashlyn walk up, talking excitedly.

“Where’d you two get off to?” he asks, and Ali looks at Ashlyn before turning back to Kyle, grinning. “Oh God, do I want to know?”

“Shut up, we were with Kelley and HAO,” Ali groans. “I did high ropes.”

“Funny,” Kyle says. “Fine, I don’t need to know about you guys sneaking off to make out, just make sure you stay away from the poison ivy. Trust me.”

“Kyle, I’m serious!” Ali says. “Kel, give me your phone!” she calls, and Kelley walks over to present the photo evidence.

“How the hell did you do this?” Kyle gasps, scrolling through. He gets to the first picture of Ashlyn on the course and looks up. “Did you—”

“Long story, but I lost a bet and I started fine but then freaked out a little so Ashlyn came to help me through the planks,” Ali says. “Can you believe it?”

“I truly cannot,” he says. “I’m so proud of you, sissy!” He throws his arms around Ali’s neck, and she squeals.

“Hang on, I’ve gotta go show everyone!” she exclaims, running off before Kelley can ask for her phone back.

“Maybe not every picture!” Ashlyn calls after her. Ali turns and winks, and Ashlyn just shakes her head.

“Ashlyn,” Kyle says. “I like you a lot already. But I don’t think you understand what a big fucking deal that was for her to do.”

“Oh trust me, I do,” Ashlyn says.

“No, you don’t,” he says. “Even if I would teasingly say something about this being the year she’d finally do it, she would panic and usually end up in tears just thinking about it. This is a legit phobia, and the fact that she would even consider it, let alone actually do it, is monumental.”

“Wow, okay,” Ashlyn says. “I wouldn’t have even mentioned it if I knew that.”

“But you didn’t know,” Kyle says. “Which weirdly I think gives you some access to Ali nobody else has. Like, with me, I know everything about her. Most people here know a ton about her. But you don’t know her at all, and I think she likes that. It’s why she’s thriving at Penn State, you know? She could just be this brand new person. She doesn’t have to be perfect angelic Ali Krieger, even though she is anyway.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Ashlyn says. She feels the same way about going to school so far from home.

“But that means you have to be careful,” he says. “Because if you hurt her, I will make your life miserable.”

“You’re not the first one to tell me that,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Right, but I’m the only one who really means it,” he says. “She’s my everything, and I just want her to be happy, okay? She likes you a lot. She did fucking high ropes for you. Don’t take her for granted.”

“I won’t,” Ashlyn promises. “Pinky swear.”

“Do you have any nights off coming up?” Kyle asks. “I need to see you outside of camp to really see what you’re all about.”

“I have one tomorrow night,” Ashlyn says. “But I don’t think Ali’s off, so we were just going to hang out and play soccer or something.”

“Okay, that’s a terrible plan,” he says. “Ali will survive one night without you, so I’m stealing you and taking you out. Pinoe and Syd and probably some other people are coming. It’ll be a blast.”

“Sounds good,” Ashlyn says, smiling as she looks over to Ali, who is grinning from ear to ear as she tells Cap and Boxxy about her big morning.

In the back of her mind, all she can think is that for all the concern everyone has over Ali getting hurt, nobody really seems to care too much about Ashlyn. She can’t expect them to, really, considering everyone here has known Ali way longer, but Ashlyn can’t imagine a world in which Ali could possibly be more head over heels for Ashlyn than Ashlyn is for her. She can’t help but think she’s really in more of a position to be hurt.

~

Ali pouts all Sunday after she finds out Ashlyn is going out without her, and she does everything in her power to convince her otherwise as she sits cross-legged on the bathroom counter while Ashlyn puts on makeup.

“You’re just doing this to torture me,” Ali says. “I’ll make you hot chocolate with the leftover marshmallows from the campfire last night. I’ll do all your chores for the week.”

“Al, you like doing other people’s chores,” Ashlyn reminds her. “I don’t think I’ve swept the bathroom once yet.”

“Well maybe I’ll stop,” Ali says. “What am I supposed to do all alone?”

“Hmm,” Ashlyn says, pretending to think. “You do have a cabin of eight campers and Moe who could potentially keep you company.”

Ali groans. “Yeah, but I’m just going to be thinking of all the trouble you guys are probably getting into.”

“Trouble? Us?” Ashlyn teases. “Whitney is coming, and she never lets me get into trouble.”

“That’s not what your Instagram would suggest,” Ali says. “Just look out for Kyle, okay?”

“I have trouble believing Kyle can’t hold his own,” Ashlyn laughs, but Ali looks serious. “I’ve got it,” she says. “We’ll be back before curfew. You can wait up, but your run in the morning might be a little more difficult.”

“Just give me a goodnight kiss when you get back,” Ali pouts, and Ashlyn smiles.

She’s pretty cute when she’s whining, and she definitely knows it, so she’s milking it. Ashlyn leans forward to kiss her, surprised when Ali deepens the kiss, her hands finding Ashlyn’s hair. Ashlyn goes with it, her thumb tracing Ali’s jaw line. She’s learned what a good kisser Ali is over the past two days, but only here and there when they have a moment alone, and she can tell Ali has a lot more up her sleeve.

“Are you sure you want to go?” Ali says, pulling away with a sly smile. “When we could be continuing that?”

“If I thought you could back that up, I’d stay in a heartbeat,” Ashlyn says. “Unfortunately, I think our eight campers and Moe might make that a little difficult.” She kisses Ali again and tries to pull away, but Ali unfolds her legs and wraps them around Ashlyn’s hips, holding her there. “Anyone could walk in right now,” she says, resting her forehead against Ali’s.

“They won’t, though, they’re playing Settlers of Catan,” Ali murmurs, kissing Ashlyn again. As if the universe was waiting for her to say that, the door swings open, and Ashlyn jumps back, nearly pulling Ali off the counter if Ali hadn’t caught herself in time.

“Uh, hey,” Moe says, looking at them. “I’m—I have to pee. Sorry.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “Go ahead.” Moe turns red and looks away, going into a stall. Ali jumps off the counter and looks in the mirror to fix her hair and wipe off the traces of lipstick matching the color on Ashlyn’s. They can’t discuss anything because Moe could hear them, so they just look at each other, trying to communicate through facial expressions till they hear a flush.

Moe exits the stall and looks just as embarrassed as they feel upon realizing they’re still there. Ashlyn looks at Ali, and Ali rolls her eyes when she realizes she’s expecting her to take this one.

“Morgan,” Ali says when Moe starts to wash her hands. “It’s not—well it is…”

“It’s cool,” Moe says. “I mean, everyone knows anyway, right?”

“What?” Ali exclaims. “No. We just—what?”

“I mean, not really, but some of the other CITs asked me,” she says with a shrug. “I said no, but if you were it wasn’t any of their business. And I figured it wasn’t the craziest thing possible. I’m not gonna like go around telling people.”

“Good,” Ali says.

“But you also might not want to make out in the bathroom,” she says. “If you need better options, I can definitely tell you some.”

“I think we’re good,” Ali laughs. “Wait, how do you—”

“Gotta go, I think it’s my turn!” Moe says, shaking the water off her hands and rushing back into the cabin.

Ashlyn leans down to give Ali one final peck. “I’ll be back,” she promises. “Don’t miss me too much.”

~

Ashlyn gets shotgun in Kyle’s car (which actually turns out to be Ali’s) while Syd and Dom squeeze into the backseat. Kyle was the only one willing to be the designated driver, even though technically camp rules say they can’t return to camp under the influence of alcohol anyway, so the other car had to flip a coin. Whitney had lost, but Ryan, every bit the gentleman, had taken one for the team.

“So are you my boyfriend for the night?” Ashlyn asks Kyle when he opens the door to the bar for her. It’s their favorite place, he had told her, because the owners had grown up at Cedar Falls, so they give counselors discounts and free drinks.

“As long as we get to rub it in Ali’s face,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Here, kiss me on the cheek.” Ashlyn does as told, and he snaps a selfie to send to Ali, captioning it “MISS YOU KIDDO!”

“What are you drinking?” she asks. “My treat.”

“I knew you were good people,” Kyle says. “Club soda for me, though.”

“You can have one drink,” she says. “It’ll definitely wear off by the time we leave.”

“I can’t, actually,” he says. “Sorry, I figured Ali would have told you. I’ve been sober for two years now.”

“Oh!” Ashlyn says, surprised. “I’m so sorry. Club soda it is.” She signals the bartender and asks for two.

“You can drink,” he says. “It won’t bother me, I promise. I’m used to it. I like being sober better anyway.”

“That’s really cool,” Ashlyn says.

“Thanks,” Kyle says. “I think it really hit me when I saw Ali for the first time in ages and I was drunk and she just looked at me and started crying. She had been trying to reach out to me for months, and I was just always in a haze of alcohol and some really nasty drugs.”

“That sucks,” Ashlyn says, the only thing she really can think to say. Truth is, she wishes Ali had told her this, but she understands she probably needs more time. If she had, Ashlyn could have told her that she’s been there too with her own family. Not surprisingly, it just makes her want to go back to camp and be with Ali that much sooner. “I’m proud of you for getting clean. Is that weird? I mean, I’ve only known you for like a week, but I’m proud.”

“Of course not,” he says. “I’m proud of you for telling off that asshole Tyler.” Ashlyn’s face turns red. “Please. Ali tells me everything.”

“I’m pretty sure you getting sober is slightly more impressive than that,” Ashlyn laughs. “Good for you."

“He’s way more fun now,” Ryan says, throwing an arm around Kyle. Whitney slides onto the barstool behind Ashlyn, resting her chin on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Where’s your girl?” he asks, and Ashlyn doesn’t have to turn to know Whitney is shooting him a look. “Oops.”

“It’s okay, Whit,” Ashlyn laughs, nudging her friend. “She’s on call tonight, sorry to disappoint.”

“Bummer,” he says. “Next time. I’ve gotta tell you, I’m thrilled you got her to move on from Tyler.”

Ashlyn whips her head toward him. “Why?” she asks, wondering what Tyler has been saying about Ali.

“Are you kidding?” he laughs. “The guy’s a total dick.”

“You’re friends with him,” Ashlyn says, narrowing her eyes.

“He’s my co,” Ryan says. “I have to be civil, but it doesn’t mean I like him.”

Ashlyn nods slowly, trying to figure out if he’s being truthful, but Kyle nods along like he knew that already. Down the bar, Syd, Pinoe, Tobin, Abby and HAO are taking shots together, but Ashlyn doesn’t really feel like drinking anymore.

“So tell me about you,” Ashlyn says. “You’re hooking up with my best friend in the pool shed, I feel like I should at least know where you go to school or how many siblings you have or your star sign.”

“Syracuse, three siblings, and I’m a Virgo,” he says. “And you?”

“UNC, one sibling, Libra,” she says. “An older brother. That’s my one sibling.”

“Two brothers and a sister,” he says. “My two brothers are older, but my sister is 15. Her name is Caitlin.”

“Wait, like Caitlin from my cabin?” Ashlyn asks, finally putting two and two together. Ryan Flanagan. Caitlin Flanagan. Of course. “I love Caitlin!”

“She loves you, too,” Ryan laughs. “Ali has been her counselor for years, but she was definitely cheering you on in the kayak race the other day.”

“That’s awesome,” Ashlyn says. “I’m so rubbing that in her face.”

“We’re not just hooking up, by the way,” he says, glancing over to where Whitney has joined the other girls. “Me and Whit. I like her a lot, actually. I know you’re her best friend, so I just want you to know that.”

Ashlyn follows his gaze and smiles when Whitney looks up to give them both a wave. “She likes you too,” she says. “She’s a good one.”

“She really is,” he says. “So now I want to hear it from your perspective. How the hell did you get Ali Krieger to do the high ropes?”

~

Kyle whines the whole way home about how he barely got to bond with Ashlyn because Ryan monopolized her time, but in reality, Kyle was social butterflying it up all around the bar all night till Pinoe finally reined him in to go home.

“We have time,” she insists as they walk back to the cabins. “Plus we totally bonded singing along to Man! I Feel Like a Woman!”

“You’re right,” he says. “We’ll always have Shania.” They get to the fork that separates the girls’ side from the boys’ side of camp, and Kyle hugs Ashlyn. “Good night, it was fun hanging out with you,” he says. “Give my sissy a kissy from me!” He plants a kiss on her cheek, and Ashlyn laughs.

“You got it,” she says, waving as she walks toward her cabin.

When she gets to the door, she opens it very slowly to avoid any creaking, but every step seems deafening against the silence of the cabin, save for the white noise coming from the fan by Ali’s bed. She tiptoes toward Ali, who looks like an actual angel when she sleeps, and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I’m back,” she whispers as Ali’s eyes flutter open. “Go back to sleep, I just wanted to do as I was told. I didn’t want to face your wrath in the morning.”

“Did you have fun?” Ali mumbles.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn whispers, pushing a piece of hair from her face. “Kyle wanted me to give you a kiss.”

“Well?” Ali says. “I’m waiting.” Ashlyn laughs and kisses her cheek. “And one from you, please,” she says, and Ashlyn obeys, in awe of how purposefully cute Ali can be while only half awake.

“Okay, go back to sleep,” Ashlyn says, but Ali grips her hand and shimmies over, tugging at the comforter Ashlyn is sitting on.

“Lay with me,” Ali says. “Please? Just till I fall asleep.”

Ashlyn realizes then just how powerless she is against Ali’s sleepy mumble, getting under the covers of the twin-sized bed without any further questions. Ali settles back against her chest, humming with contentment, and Ashlyn wraps her arms loosely around Ali’s waist, which isn’t good enough for Ali, who pulls Ashlyn’s arm so it’s wrapped tighter.

“Just till you fall asleep,” Ashlyn whispers, placing one more kiss right behind Ali’s ear as their breathing begins to steady together. All Ashlyn can hear as she drifts off is her heart beating in perfect time with Ali’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions!  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. Did anything surprise you in this chapter? If so, what? And why?  
> 3\. Is there anything in this chapter you totally saw coming?  
> 4\. Which character stood out to you the most in this chapter? What did they do to make that happen?  
> 5\. Predictions?!?!


	5. Gal Pals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rainy day brings with it a nerve-wracking meeting, a secret confession, and some late-night snuggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be on the lookout for what you think was MY favorite line of the whole thing ;) You'll be quizzed at the end, and there could be a PRIZE?! Ooh la la...
> 
> (Tuesday, June 27)

“Earth to Ashlyn,” Alex calls, snapping her fingers in Ashlyn’s face over the breakfast table. “Dude, you haven’t even touched your food, and you went back to the cabin so early last night,” she says. “How are you this out of it?”

“Just because I went back to the cabin early doesn’t mean I went to sleep early,” Ashlyn says, picking at her eggs.

“Gross,” Alex says, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes. There are campers at the table, after all.

“We talked on the porch for a long time,” she says. “We’re at camp.”

“Weirder things have happened,” Alex says. “I mean, didn’t you tell me you slept with her the other night?”

“Alex!” Ashlyn hisses, jerking her head toward the 10-year-old girl slurping the leftover milk from her cereal right next to her. “Can you not? Besides, sleeping in the same bed does not equal… that.”

“Okay, well it’s gonna happen eventually,” Alex says. “Trust me. It took me and Kelley no time at all.”

“Leave her alone,” Syd says, elbowing Alex. “Ali is too innocent for that anyway.”

Ashlyn can't help but laugh, but when she sees Syd’s face turn into a smirk, she realizes she's been found out.

“Ha, knew it,” Syd says. “They're totally getting it on.”

“We are not!” Ashlyn insists.

“But you want to,” Syd says.

“Obviously, do you not see the way they undress each other with their eyes?” Alex teases. Ashlyn knows this much is true. She's been caught plenty of times zoning out and zeroing in on Ali at meal times and really any time they're in the same room but not right beside each other.

Sydney sees something behind Ashlyn, and she nudges Alex, who immediately shuts up, so Ashlyn turns around to see Cap right behind her, permanent smile across her face.

“Hey, Ashlyn!” she says. “Could you meet me in my office right after breakfast? I'll be quick so you won't miss too much of your morning activity.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Ashlyn says, not sure what about Cap makes her so nervous. Sure, she's in charge, but she's also the nicest and most cheerful person ever. 

She watches as she walks past her toward Ali, who's sitting at a table with Kyle, HAO, and a bunch of their campers. Cap stops at Ali’s table, and Ali smiles at first, but her face falls as she talks. She nods, and Cap pats her on the back before leaving the cafeteria. Ali’s eyes find Ashlyn’s immediately, and that’s all it takes for Ashlyn’s fears to be confirmed.

Someone spilled the beans.

~

Ashlyn finds Ali outside right after campers are dismissed from breakfast. Her arms are folded across her chest as she listens intently to HAO, nodding. When HAO sees Ashlyn, she smiles and waves, squeezing Ali’s shoulder before going to find the group of campers coming to high ropes for the morning.

“Hey, you okay?” Ashlyn asks. Ali smiles, but it's forced. “We can't be in trouble, we didn't do anything wrong.”

“Yeah,” Ali says.

“I mean, Kelley and Alex are openly together,” Ashlyn says. “And what about you and Tyler last year? And all the couples across camp?”

“They aren't co-counselors in the same cabin,” Ali says. “I mean, Kelley and Alex, yes, but they were together before being counselors and they managed to fly under the radar their first two years, so they let them stay together. If we can't make it one week without it getting back to Cap, it doesn't bode well.”

“It's okay,” Ashlyn says. “There's nothing they can do except strongly discourage us from seeing each other like that.”

“I hope you're right,” Ali sighs, looking at Ashlyn’s lips. There's nothing she wants more than to kiss her right now, but there are campers and other counselors around. And given what they're both preparing to walk into, it's definitely a bad idea.

“Come on, let's go,” Ashlyn says, leading her down the path to the front office where Cap is waiting.

They're greeted at the door by Reece, who is dressed in an adorable pink and yellow polka-dotted bathing suit with a tiny bathrobe on.

“Are you going swimming, Reecey?” Ali asks, scooping her up and blowing a raspberry on her stomach.

“Canoe with sissy!” she says excitedly, squealing from Ali’s sneak attack.

Reece is technically too young to be a camper, but of course she attends every year with her parents and Rylie, now that she's a camper. She's usually getting into some sort of trouble somewhere on campus, but her best buddy is probably Becky because arts and crafts is her favorite.

“Hey girls!” Cap says. “Oops, I guess someone got to you first. Reecey, can you be a good girl for a few minutes while Mommy talks to the girls?”

Reece pouts, but quickly becomes distracted by the Lego set she destroyed before breakfast. Busy day.

Ashlyn follows Ali and Cap into her office and sits in one of the two chairs.

“Thanks for meeting me,” she says with a laugh. “I guess you've already figured out one of the reasons why I needed to talk to you.” It takes everything within Ashlyn not to reach over and still Ali’s bouncing leg with her calming hand. “Ashlyn, I really hate to burden you, but would you mind keeping an eye on Reece at waterfront? She found out Rylie gets to go canoeing today and I told her she could go too. She has a toddler-sized life jacket and she can swim, I just need someone who can paddle her around. I’ll give you an extra night off or free periods or whatever you want.”

“Yeah, of course,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t need anything though. Is that—”

“Oh, no!” Cap says. “I mean, yes, that’s one reason I needed to talk to you. But the other is a little more serious and it involves you both.” She looks over at Ali, whose heart is probably beating out of her chest.

“I got a call from a concerned parent today,” she says, and now Ashlyn’s blood is boiling. “A girl in your cabin—who will remain nameless for now—has been writing home about some upsetting things.”

“Ma’am, I promise you that anything that’s been going on—” Ashlyn starts, but Cap cuts her off.

“Don’t call me ma’am,” she says. “You don’t have to explain. I know you aren’t to blame. I think the camper is just a little homesick, but of course her parents want her to stick it out.”

“Wait, what?” Ali asks, bewildered.

“One of the girls in your cabin is apparently not having the best time,” she says. “She’s written her parents to say she wants to go home. As you know, none of the girls in your cabin are new campers, which is why it’s particularly alarming. She’s been coming to camp for a long time and has never had any issues. So I just wanted to make you both aware so you could keep an eye out for anything that could be going on.”

“I had no idea,” Ali breathes. “That’s horrible, I’m so sorry. I promise we’ll do our best. We should have caught it. That’s on me. We’ll do better.”

“Relax,” Cap says. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. These things happen, and it’s a difficult age for anyone.”

“We’ll definitely keep an eye out,” Ashlyn says. “Thanks for letting us know.”

“Of course,” Cap says. “And thanks again for meeting with me and taking Reece.”

“Sure,” Ashlyn says, not believing their luck. “We’ll have fun.”

“Well, there’s one more thing before you go,” Cap says, pulling a few sheets of paper from a stack on her desk. “I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you about your days off, but it's been really busy and I wanted to talk to you first. I was going through these requests, and I was just wondering if there was a particular reason you both asked off for the same day?”

“A-are we not supposed to?” Ashlyn asks, asking Cap, but turning her head to Ali.

“It’s okay for co-counselors to take the same day off,” Cap says. “That’s why you have Moe, and we can put other counselors nearby on call. I was just wondering if there was a reason.”

She pauses, and both girls wait, hoping she’ll elaborate, but she doesn’t. She sits back in her chair and folds her hands on the table, looking between them. It almost looks like she’s enjoying it.

“No,” Ashlyn says at the same time Ali says “yes.”

“Well that’s not very helpful,” Cap says, smiling. “Which is it?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “We’d like to spend our day off together. I didn’t realize it would come up as a problem. I’m happy to switch to another day though.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Cap says. “I just wanted to hear it from you.” She leans forward. “I have eyes and ears everywhere,” she says. “I was a counselor once too, so I’ve never been stupid enough in my tenure as director to ban counselor relationships. But I’ve also never faced this situation. Kelley and Alex came to me at the beginning of last summer to tell me about their relationship, at which point I figured if it had escaped even me, I had nothing to worry about.”

Ali is staring at Cap, and Ashlyn isn’t even sure she’s breathing.

“Krieger, you know the rules,” she says. “If I don’t see it or hear about it, I don’t care. But if whatever is going on between the two of you affects the rest of the staff or any of the campers, we’ll have a problem. Do you both understand?”

“Yes,” Ashlyn says. Ali nods.

“I think you’re both very trustworthy,” she says. “So I have no doubt that you’re going to have a wonderful summer. But remember why you’re here.”

“We will,” Ali says.

“Thanks, girls,” she says. “And you’re both good to go for your day off on Thursday.”

“Thank you,” they say in unison, both feeling like the weight of the world has been lifted off their shoulders.

When they leave her office, Reece has built an entire Lego city, which is really pretty impressive if you don’t care about things like infrastructure.

“Hey, Reece’s Pieces,” Ashlyn says, making her look up and grin. “I’m going to the potty, but when I’m done, what if we go canoeing with Rylie?”

“Yes!” Reece exclaims, tearing apart her city again in excitement.

Ashlyn laughs and heads toward the bathroom, which is one of the only actually private ones on campus, but Ali follows behind. Ashlyn knew she would, an unspoken understanding that they need to debrief. When they’re safely inside, door locked, Ali finally allows herself to breathe.

“Oh my God,” she says. “Oh my God. I can’t believe that just happened.”

“It was better than we expected, wasn’t it?” Ashlyn asks. She wraps her arms around Ali’s shoulders to keep her from shaking. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just anxious,” Ali says. “Jitters. Who do you think is the camper who wants to go home?”

Of course that’s what she’s thinking about. Ashlyn can’t help but stare at Ali in awe. Ali has surprised her a number of times so far this summer, first by being into her, more recently by how quickly she’s been willing to open up and jump headfirst into whatever this weird limbo relationship is, and now with how strikingly selfless she is.

“What?” Ali asks.

“You’re amazing,” Ashlyn says, leaning down to kiss her. “Cap just sat us down to tell us she knows something’s going on between us and basically we better watch out, and you’re more concerned with our campers. You’re seriously…” She kisses her again. “Amazing.”

“I don’t care if Cap knows you’re my girlfriend,” Ali says. Ashlyn’s face must show her shock, because she stops. “I mean… you are. Right? That’s what we—oh God.”

“No, no,” Ashlyn says. “That’s… that’s fine. That’s perfect.”

“Really?” Ali asks. “I know it hasn’t been that long, and I just—”

“Camp isn’t that long either,” Ashlyn says. “The less time I spend confused about what you’re supposed to be to me, the better.”

“Yeah,” Ali says. “Well that’s what you’ve been in my head since the night I kissed you in bed. Which… sounds a lot weirder when I say it out loud.”

“Context is everything,” Ashlyn laughs. “But I guess we could start referring to it as like… our anniversary.”

“Gross,” they both say, and Ali laughs as Ashlyn cups her chin to kiss her again.

“I have to go,” Ashlyn says. “I’d stay here and kiss you all day, but I do not want to be the one responsible for a Reece Rampone temper tantrum.”

“Me neither,” Ali says. “Can we sit on the back porch tonight?”

“Of course,” Ashlyn says. She means after the girls are asleep, of course, and the specification of the back porch is not lost on Ashlyn. On the front porch, there’s a swing and two rocking chairs, but on the back porch there is a wood table with a bench and a hammock for two, and Ashlyn knows Ali doesn’t want to sit on the bench.

Ali stands on her tiptoes for a final kiss before slipping out of the bathroom. Ashlyn stays back for just a moment, looking into the mirror as she tries out a new word on her tongue.

“Girlfriend,” she whispers.

~

It’s a good thing Reece was able to canoe when she did, because it storms all afternoon. The girls in the cabin welcome a long rest hour, though, and Ali and Ashlyn seize the opportunity to connect with the campers and make them all feel at home.

They play cards and board games in small groups before everyone starts getting a little stir crazy and Moe suggests two truths and a lie.

“Too bad we all already know everything about each other,” Caroline laughs, rolling her eyes teasingly.

“Maybe not everything,” Caitlin says with a shrug. “I like it, let’s do it.”

“I’ll go first,” Michelle announces. “I’ve never broken a bone, I sang at Carnegie Hall, and I met Harry Styles.”

“Nuh-uh!” Taryn gasps. “The lie has to be the Harry thing.”

“Nope,” Michelle says.

Caroline laughs. “You totally broke your big toe last summer when you tripped over a log!” she exclaims.

“Ding ding ding,” Michelle says. “That was the lie.”

“Why don’t you tell everyone what you were doing when you tripped over that log?” Laura teases, and Michelle turns red.

“Laura dared me to follow some counselors after campfire to see if they were dating,” she says hurriedly, looking at the floor.

Ashlyn doesn’t think anything of it, not seeing the way Ali’s eyes widen at her confession. “Did you find out?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Michelle says.

“So? Were they?” Moe asks, but Ali just gets redder and redder.

“Yes,” Michelle says. “I’m sorry.”

Ashlyn and Moe both follow her gaze to Ali, who looks like she wants the ground to swallow her whole. “Well, we aren’t anymore,” she says, and it’s clear she’s more embarrassed than she is upset at the mention of Tyler, and Ashlyn is grateful for that much.

“I’ll go next,” Ashlyn says to spare Ali the attention. “I once was in a wheelchair for a month, I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I have one younger brother.”

“A month?” Grace asks. “That seems like an exaggeration.”

Ashlyn shrugs, looking around the circle. “Any other guesses?”

“You’re way too pretty to have never had a boyfriend,” Bethany says. “That has to be the lie.” Ali almost snorts with laughter, and Ashlyn has to refrain from hitting her.

When nobody else guesses, Ashlyn looks at Ali.

“Chris is older,” she says. “So that’s the lie.”

“Boom!” Ashlyn says, high-fiving her. “Best co-counselor award.”

Moe makes a face and high fives herself. “You’re great too, Moe,” she says.

“You’ve really never had a boyfriend?” Taryn asks.

“Nope,” Ashlyn says. Ali squirms a little bit, and suddenly she feels bad she even brought it up. “Al, you got one?”

“No, I need to think,” she says. “Somebody else can go.”

Ashlyn looks at Moe, who just smiles before realizing what’s going on. “Oh!” she says. “I can do one! Let’s see. I met my grandma for the first time ever last year, I’ve driven to school in a limo, and I’m related to royalty in some European country.”

Everyone looks at her blankly before Rachel breaks the silence.

“That’s not two truths and a lie, that’s the plot to The Princess Diaries,” she says.

Moe shrugs, popping a red Sour Patch Kid in her mouth. When the girls are distracted, Ashlyn mouths a “thank you” to her, and she winks.

~

The storm holds off long enough for everyone to get dinner and get back to their cabins, but everyone is soaking and freezing when they get back. One of the girls suggests they all just get in their bathing suits and shower together to save the hot water and let everyone warm up. Ali and Ashlyn volunteer to wait until they’re all done, and Moe follows suit before realizing she’s probably better off sticking with the campers than awkwardly third-wheeling it with the counselors.

“Kinda always wanted a kiss in the pouring rain,” Ali mumbles while toweling off her hair.

“You look hot with your hair like that,” Ashlyn says. “Should have just told me.”

“Whatevs, next time you won’t be able to resist,” Ali says. “Why is today the one day you managed to not wear a white shirt?”

“Please,” Ashlyn says. “You would have been so jealous of everyone checking me out.”

“Maybe,” Ali says, sitting on Ashlyn’s bed. “Remember when you almost made me sleep here?”

“I had almost forgotten what a brat you are,” Ashlyn says. “Remind me why I like you?” 

“Because you think I’m pretty,” Ali teases. “And because I’m an excellent kisser.”

“Oh right,” Ashlyn says, sitting beside her. Ali turns her head toward her, and Ashlyn leans in to kiss her, quickly and purposefully deepening it.

“They’ll be out soon,” Ali murmurs, making no effort to stop the kiss.

“We’ll hear the shower shut off,” Ashlyn says, pushing Ali down so she’s lying on her back. “It’s cold in here, just trying to warm you up. Can you blame a girl?”

“No,” Ali says, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. After just a few seconds, the shower turns off, and Ashlyn pulls back and groans. “Stop starting things you can’t finish,” Ali whines, but she sits up to fix her hair anyway.

“Back porch,” Ashlyn reminds her. “Tonight.”

After they take their showers (separately, much to Ashlyn’s dismay), Ashlyn notices Caitlin laying on her bed while the rest of the girls play Heads Up on Moe’s (totally against camp rules) phone. She's lying on her stomach, writing intently in her journal, and Ashlyn walks up to sit on the bed next to hers.

“Hey,” Ashlyn says, and Caitlin jumps a foot in the air, slamming her book shut. “Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh,” Caitlin says. “Hey.”

“Did you hear I finally figured out you and your brother are related the other night?” Ashlyn asks. “More than a week of working together and finally put it together.”

“That's funny,” Caitlin says. “His girlfriend, Whitney. That's your friend, right?”

“My best friend,” Ashlyn says.

“I thought that was Ali,” Caitlin laughs, and it makes Ashlyn pause.

“Whitney and I are roommates,” she says. “I didn't meet Ali till coming to camp.”

“That's so weird,” Caitlin says. “You guys seem so close already.”

“We connected really quick I guess,” Ashlyn says, shrugging it off. “Whatcha writing about?”

“Nothing,” Caitlin says. “I just like to write.”

“What kinds of things?” Ashlyn asks. “I have a book full of poems and song lyrics and sketches and stuff like that. I used to think it was pretty stupid, but now I’m really proud of that because I can look back and remember exactly how I was feeling. Journaling is awesome.”

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “Mine’s a lot like that.”

“That’s awesome,” Ashlyn says. “Maybe I’ll start using my rest hour for the same thing.” Caitlin looks at her journal, and Ashlyn wonders if maybe she should leave her alone to finish what she had interrupted.

She never thought it could be Caitlin who’s having trouble at camp, but now she reassesses. She’s friendly and outgoing, and she’s been attending camp since she was young, so Ashlyn figured no way could anything else be going on. But now she sees the way Caitlin withdraws into her shell sometimes. Ashlyn understands that feeling, especially at camp when everyone is surrounded by people non-stop. Sometimes you just need some time to yourself.

“Is it true?” Caitlin asks quietly. “You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

Ashlyn laughs. “No. I have not.”

“That’s crazy,” she says. “I haven’t either. At school I’ve told people I’ve had camp boyfriends, but I haven’t.”

“That’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “I know what it’s like to be friends with a bunch of girls who are doing things you aren’t. You want to feel included. I get that. But not having a boyfriend isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“I don’t even want one really,” Caitlin says. “Guys have asked me out, I just… I don’t like them. I don’t want to waste my time on them even though I know the people I want don’t want me back.”

“You couldn’t possibly know that,” Ashlyn says, but her stomach does a twist. “You know, I think the storm stopped. Do you want to sit on the porch? Get some fresh air?”

“Sure,” Caitlin says, getting up to follow Ashlyn out. Ali catches Ashlyn’s eye as she opens the door for Caitlin, and she stands up to follow, but Ashlyn puts out a hand and shakes her head as if to say she’s got this. She thinks she does, anyway.

“Do you want to know the real reason I’ve never had any boyfriends?” Ashlyn asks, taking the rocking chair not occupied by Caitlin. It’s weird, because Caitlin took Ashlyn’s usual spot, and it feels strange sitting in the chair where Ali usually sits.

Caitlin rolls her eyes. “Let me guess. You realized guys aren’t worth your time, and girl power and all that.”

Ashlyn laughs. “Sort of,” she says. “The truth is, I like women.” She looks at Caitlin’s face to gauge her reaction, but she doesn’t see anything.

“Oh,” Caitlin says. “That’s… cool. I guess.”

“What I’m saying is not everyone follows the same path,” Ashlyn says. “All the girls inside were shocked to hear that I’d never had a boyfriend because they hadn’t considered there could be other options. There are people who never have a relationship with anybody and are perfectly happy. And there are people who date lots of people and are happy. There’s not just one way to live your life to be happy. You know?”

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “Do… like, does anyone know?” she asks. “About you, I mean.”

“Pretty much everyone,” Ashlyn laughs. “I don’t go out of my way to come out to people usually, but everyone who needs to know does.”

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “My brother is the only one who knows about me.”

“Knows what?” Ashlyn asks, and Caitlin’s head whips around to look at her.

“That I—” she starts. “Wait, why did you tell me that?”

“I just thought you should know,” Ashlyn says. “You seemed so perplexed about the boyfriend thing. I wanted to clarify.”

“So it’s not because—”

“Because what?” Ashlyn asks, but Caitlin’s eyes tell her everything she needs to know. “Oh.”

“I thought you knew,” Caitlin says, her eyes filling with tears. “I thought it was like some secret power you have to know when other girls are like… like you.”

“Trust me, I wish it were that easy,” Ashlyn says. “I might have thought it was a possibility. Just because you said people and not boys. When you were talking about people you want to date. It’s the oldest trick in the book, I’ve been using that one since I was 14.”

“I didn’t even realize it,” Caitlin says quietly.

“Don’t worry,” Ashlyn says. “Your secret is safe with me. But I have to ask you one thing.”

“What?”

“Does that have anything to do with why you’ve been writing your parents asking to go home?” she asks quietly.

Caitlin pauses before looking up to meet Ashlyn’s eyes. “How did you—”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ashlyn says. “I’m just worried. It seemed like you were having a great time. You’ve always loved camp, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “I love camp. It’s a distraction. But during rest hour, or at night when everyone’s just hanging out like normal, I feel really empty and weird.”

“That’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “I know that feeling.”

“So how do you handle it?” Caitlin asks. “I’m not even homesick. When I’m home I feel the same way around my friends.”

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says honestly. “I know the feeling though. The homesick feeling that doesn’t go away just because you’re home. But I think over time I figured out that the home you’re looking for is your own skin. And as long as you aren’t comfortable in that, you’ll feel homesick. But it’s not a forever feeling. I don’t want to get all big sister on you, but the older you get, the more comfortable you’ll feel.”

“That’s okay,” Caitlin says. “Being a big sister. I kind of always wanted one anyway.”

“In that case, I’m all yours,” Ashlyn says, smiling. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the cabin door open, and Ali peeks her head out. She can’t help but smile wider at the sight of her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Ali says. “I’m really sorry, but it’s lights out. You guys can keep talking, I just wanted to let you know.”

“It’s fine,” Caitlin says. “We were just finishing up.” She turns back to Ashlyn and smiles, subtly wiping any leftover tears from her eyes while standing up so Ali won’t see. “Thanks, Ashlyn.”

“You got it, buddy,” Ashlyn says, standing up to hug her. When they go back inside, she squeezes Ali’s hand for a second as she passes. It’s the first time in a long time she’s considered how different everyone’s journeys are, even hers and Ali’s.

Once the girls are all tucked in and falling asleep, Ali and Ashlyn slip out to the back porch, where Ashlyn settles into the hammock with Ali lying on her chest, Ali’s blanket wrapped around them both.

“What was that all about?” Ali murmurs.

“Just talking,” Ashlyn says. “She needed a friend.”

Ali looks up, confused. “But she’s got all those girls.”

“Maybe more of a big sister,” she says. “She’s the one who’s been wanting to go home.”

“But she’s been here forever,” Ali says. “And Ryan is here.”

Ashlyn shrugs. “I think she’s okay now,” she says. “I’ll keep an eye on her though.”

“Good,” Ali says.

“Want to hear something funny?” Ashlyn says.

“Always.”

“I told her Whit is my best friend, and she said she thought that was you.”

“Why is that funny?” Ali asks. “I don’t doubt we act like it.”

“No, it’s just—I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. “Always just funny to see how other people look at you when you’re… you know.”

“Gal pals,” Ali says. “That’s what Alex and Kelley always say.”

Ashlyn can’t help but laugh. “Right,” she says. “Gal pals.”

“I’m glad you got to talk to her,” Ali says. “You’re so good with the campers.”

“Are you kidding?” Ashlyn laughs. “You’re a whiz. Especially with the little kids. They flock to you.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re both camp counselors then,” Ali says, lacing her fingers through Ashlyn’s. “Which brings me to what I actually wanted to talk about.”

“Camp?” Ashlyn asks. “Isn’t that all we talk about?”

“Hush,” Ali whispers, kissing her jaw because it’s the only spot her lips will reach. “What are we going to do for our day off?”

“If I’m not mistaken, I owe you a boat ride,” Ashlyn says.

“Well yeah, but you don’t want to be at camp on a day off,” Ali says.

“All I really care about is being with you all day,” Ashlyn says.

“Keep in mind the day starts after dinner tomorrow night,” Ali says. “And I have my last period before dinner off tomorrow. Wait, I know! Do you have that period off?”

“No, I think I have a morning period off,” Ashlyn says.

“Who cares,” Ali says. “Cap offered you a favor in return for watching Reece. Just get her to switch it or give you two that day.”

“Why?” Ashlyn says. “We’re already getting the whole day Thursday off.”

“So you can make good on your promise,” Ali says. “We can do the boat ride before dinner, then go to dinner and then leave camp.”

“And go where exactly?” Ashlyn asks.

“My dad’s place,” Ali says. “He has a house in the Poconos, not far from camp, just a little past town.”

“Your dad has a house in the Poconos,” Ashlyn repeats. Camp is sort of this grand equalizer, she realizes, because aside from seeing Ali’s car (a BMW) and her perfect Pottery Barn bedding and Kate Spade luggage set, she’s never realized just how privileged Ali is.

“Don’t say it like that,” Ali sighs. “Everyone always stays there for days and weekends off. He rents it out a lot too.”

“So are other people coming, too?” Ashlyn asks, not sure what she wants the answer to be. The idea of a night completely alone with Ali is tempting, but potentially too tempting. Ashlyn doesn’t know if she’d have any idea what to do with that kind of freedom, or what Ali would even want to do. Selfishly, though, she wants Ali to herself.

“No,” Ali says. “None of our friends have that day off. Nobody likes taking Thursdays off when Color War starts, but I don’t care, I’d rather have a day to spend with just you.”

“Okay, back up,” Ashlyn says. “You didn’t tell me I’d be missing something fun to hang out with you.”

“Hey!” Ali says defensively. “I’m way more fun than that. Color War starts tomorrow, and a lot of people love Thursdays because that’s when we have Capture the Flag.”

“I love Capture the Flag!” Ashlyn whines. “Alexandra!”

“Well you’re in luck because you’ll have at least five more chances to play,” Ali says.

“Are we on the same team?” Ashlyn asks.

“Maybe,” Ali says. “Maybe not. Only time will tell.”

“So if we aren’t, should I be worried that you’re only seducing me for secrets?” Ashlyn asks, her voice dropping.

“Maybe,” Ali says, pecking Ashlyn on the lips. “Maybe not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of huge life-changing events! Sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles, and this chapter was necessary to set up a lot of things. I hope it was enjoyable anyway!
> 
> Questionsssss of course! I'll keep it pretty simple this time ;)  
> 1\. Your favorite line(s) of dialogue?  
> 2\. Your favorite non-dialogue line(s)? (I wanted to make a distinction in this one for reasons, and because I LOVE when people pick up on super tiny things that I put a lot of thought into or found particularly humorous while writing...)  
> 3\. Predictions?  
> 4\. What's your favorite way to spend a rainy afternoon?
> 
> BONUS! What do you think MY favorite line was? I'll give you a hint. It's its own paragraph, and it includes an action and a piece of dialogue, possibly in that order ;)


	6. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's favorite co-counselors enjoy a day off. You only wish it were that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'll say to prepare you for this chapter is... mind the rating, y'all.
> 
> (Wednesday, June 28 - Thursday, June 29)

Blue and gold. It’s all Ashlyn has been able to think about for the entire morning. It’s not that she’s competitive, per se, she just really likes to win. Okay. Maybe she’s a little competitive. And maybe, just maybe, she’s considering buying blue face paint to wear to every competition now that she knows she’s firmly on the blue side of color war.

The cabin is split almost perfectly in half, with Moe being the tipping point to put the blue team in the majority. Ali, however, is gold all the way. If Ashlyn is competitive, Ali is next level.

“We’re now enemies,” she had said after breakfast when they received their assignments. Ashlyn had just rolled her eyes and gone in for a kiss, considering they only had about 15 minutes alone before going their separate ways to start their days, but Ali had refused.

“Come on, Al,” Ashlyn said, but Ali just shook her head.

It lasted twelve minutes, by Ashlyn’s count, before Ali begrudgingly asked for a kiss.

The competition will hopefully only really come between them during team challenges, but Ashlyn does get a bit testy when Ali takes rest hour to meet up with the gold side counselors to plan their skit for Friday night, the first open mic night. Participation leads to points for your side, but winning gets even more points, so it’s taken very seriously.

Which is why when Press and Alex ask Ashlyn if she wants to spend their period off on Wednesday learning a dance Crystal choreographed to a Spice Girls song, she doesn’t think twice. That is, until she runs into Ali on the porch on her way out of the cabin to meet them.

“Hey!” Ashlyn says, looking around before pecking her on the lips.

“Hey yourself,” Ali says, smiling. “Where are you going?”

“Top secret blue crew business,” Ashlyn says. “See you at flag lowering!”

“What?” Ali asks. “What about our plans?”

“Our plans?” Ashlyn asks, before remembering. The boat ride. “Oh, crap. I’m sorry. I totally forgot.”

“That’s okay,” Ali says. “I’m just about to change into my swimsuit, we can walk down there together.”

“Al, I can’t,” Ashlyn says. “I’m really sorry, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I already told the other girls I’d be there.”

“We made our plans first,” Ali says, not bothering to hide the hurt in her voice. “Are you seriously going to ditch me for some stupid color war thing?”

“We’re going to be spending tonight and all of tomorrow together,” Ashlyn reminds her. “I promise, the boat ride will happen. Rain check, okay?”

Ali crosses her arm and looks at Ashlyn with disappointment. “That’s fine, Ashlyn,” she says before turning and brushing past Ashlyn into the cabin.

Ashlyn groans, rolling her eyes and following her. “Say what you’re thinking,” she says.

“I already did,” Ali says, busying herself with tidying her area.

“Are you going to be pissed at me if I go with them?” Ashlyn asks.

“If the only reason you’d be coming with me is because you think I’d be pissed at you otherwise, I doubt it would be enjoyable,” Ali says. “Go ahead. It’ll be good. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t do this,” Ashlyn groans. “I don’t want this to ruin our fun day off.”

“It won’t,” Ali says. “Let me be annoyed. I’ll get over it. Go have fun.”

Ashlyn pauses, not sure if this is a trap. Eventually, she decides even if it is a trap, she’s not winning either way. “See you at flag lowering,” she says, finally leaving the cabin.

Ali groans in frustration, throwing a bra in the small suitcase she’s taking for the night. She knows she set them both up for failure there, because she reacted the way she did before processing it and realizing it wasn’t a big deal. But to admit that would be admitting Ashlyn was always right in the situation, which she wasn’t. It’s still crappy of her to bail on their plans, even if Ali does let her off the hook.

She rummages through her bags for her hair straightener, getting frustrated when she can’t find it. She remembers lending it to somebody, but it isn’t in the bathroom with all the rest of the girls’ cosmetic supplies, so she has no idea who has it. Then she grins, remembering her notebook. Ashlyn had teased her about her overly organized ways when she revealed this to her, but now Ali knows it’s going to come in handy.

“June 21 - Essie Turquoise & Caicos - Bethany” has a check by it, as does “June 23 - Essie Ballet Slippers - Christen,” but “June 25 - Hair straightener - Alex” is unmarked, and Ali has found her culprit.

Satisfied and ready to rub it in Ashlyn’s face that keeping a check-out log of all her belongings is actually a brilliant success, Ali walks down girls’ camp to Kelley and Alex’s cabin. 

“Knock knock!” she calls, not expecting anyone to be inside, but when she walks in, Kelley lets out a cry of pain from knocking her head into the bottom of the bunk above her as she jumps away from Alex, who is sitting up and trying to look like they weren’t just in the middle of a heated makeout session. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Ali says, her face turning red.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Alex says, a little out of breath. 

“Speak for yourself,” Kelley grumbles, rolling off the bed and onto her feet. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Alex smiles as she slumps away.

“I just came for my hair straightener,” Ali says.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Alex says. “Here you go!” She rummages through the cupboard by her bunk, emerging victorious with the pink hair tool.

“Thanks,” Ali says. “My day off is tomorrow, and Ashlyn and I are going to go out for dinner, so I want to look a little nicer than usual.”

“Aw, sweet!” Alex says. “Is everyone just going to your dad’s place?”

“Well, the two of us are,” Ali says. “Nobody else has the day off, at least not in like our little crew.”

“Not even Kyle?” Alex asks, surprised because Ali and Kyle usually coordinate their days off.

“No,” Ali says. “You know how he is about Capture the Flag. Plus I think he’d feel weird like third-wheeling for our first day we really get to spend alone.”

“True,” Alex says slowly. “So what’s the plan? A night in tonight? Just the two of you? Alone?”

“Yes,” Ali says, her face getting hot.

Alex’s eyes dart down to Ali’s hands, and she grabs the one that isn’t currently holding the hair straightener. “Oh honey,” she says quietly. “Kel!” she calls. “Can you grab my nail file while you’re in there?”

“I just did my nails!” Ali says, moving her hand toward her chest protectively. “I painted them gold for color war.”

“And they’re beautiful,” Alex says as Kelley emerges, nail file in hand. “But trust me, you’re going to want this. If not for your own sake, then for Ashlyn’s.”

“Are you and Ashlyn having sex tonight?” Kelley exclaims.

“What?” Ali exclaims. “How did you—no! I mean, I don’t know, we haven’t talked about it—what?”

Kelley laughs, handing her the nail file. “They grow up so fast.”

“Is there something I’m missing?” Ali asks, looking between them. They’re raising their eyebrows at each other as if having a silent conversation, before Kelley finally gives in.

“If you and Ashlyn are going to… you know… be intimate tonight, she doesn’t want your talons all up in her business.”

“Kel,” Alex admonishes.

“What?” Kelley asks. “How would you have phrased it?” Alex shrugs.

“Oh my God, I’m leaving,” Ali says. “Thanks for the hair straightener, Alex, now I don’t have to kill you. KO… your fate is still to be determined.”

“You’ll thank me later!” Kelley calls after her as she leaves.

~

Ashlyn comes back to the cabin before flag lowering in an attempt to smooth things over with Ali, but she doesn’t even have to.

“Hey, pretty!” Ali greets her when she walks in, jumping up from her bed. She’d been writing something, presumably a letter home. Even though the counselors get access to the Internet in the lounge, Ali says her parents appreciate the old-school cards and letters. She stuns Ashlyn by kissing her quickly, standing on her tiptoes and squeezing her shoulders.

“Well hi,” Ashlyn says. “You’re in a good mood.”

“Of course!” Ali says. “I get to leave camp to spend more than 24 hours straight with you. With my girlfriend,” she says, scrunching up her nose. “That’s still so weird.”

“For me too,” Ashlyn laughs. “In a good way.”

“A very good way,” Ali agrees. “Are you packed and ready?”

“Alex, everything I brought to camp fits in one suitcase,” Ashlyn reminds her. “Yes, I’m packed and ready.”

“Perfect, we’ll put it in the car before flag lowering,” Ali says.

“So,” Ashlyn says, already considering whether she actually wants to say what she’s thinking. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

“Ash,” Ali groans. “Don’t ruin this. I’m not mad. I was never mad, just disappointed.”

“You know that’s worse, right?” Ashlyn says.

Ali shrugs. “I never said you shouldn’t feel guilty,” she says with a wink. “Just think of it this way, now you have almost 30 hours to make it up to me.”

Ashlyn has a feeling she’ll be held to that.

~

Logically, Ashlyn understands that dinner is always an hour long with a half hour of songs and games, but it seems to drag on tonight. When the campers are finally dismissed, she expects Ali to run out of the dining hall with her, but of course Ali, ever the diplomat, stays back to help with cleanup even though it’s Kelley and Alex’s cabin’s turn.

Ashlyn begrudgingly wipes down a few tables before Ali comes up behind her and puts her arms around her waist. “You’re so cute,” Ali murmurs, resting her head on Ashlyn’s back. When Ashlyn looks up, she realizes Ali isn’t being insane and the campers have left.

“No you,” Ashlyn says, turning around to kiss Ali’s forehead.

“Are you ready to go?” Ali asks, and Ashlyn finds herself nodding before she’s even finished the question.

“Have fun, you two!” Kelley calls after them as soon as they walk past her group just outside the dining hall on the way to Ali’s car.

It takes everything within Ashlyn to not grab Ali’s hand before they get to the car, but worrying about who will see doesn’t stop her from opening Ali’s door for her, a move Ali seems thrown off by considering she’s driving, but she appreciates it nonetheless.

They drive in relative quiet, Ali opting for a playlist full of quiet, soothing songs Ashlyn has never heard before. It’s funny, she thinks, how much you can learn about someone by listening to their music. Mornings in the cabin are usually filled with Taylor Swift and One Direction and cheesy pop designed to get the girls up and moving, but hearing what Ali would listen to given the choice is like uncovering a whole new layer to her.

She sings along quietly to some of the songs, letting others just wash over her as Ashlyn watches her.

“Stop that,” Ali says with a smile.

“Stop what?” Ashlyn asks, her hand finding Ali’s knee.

“Staring at me,” Ali says.

“Can’t help it,” Ashlyn says. “You’re just too pretty.” It’s dark in the car, but she’s pretty sure Ali’s blushing. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Just thinking,” Ali says. “It’s always weird to leave camp and not be surrounded by mindless chatter and noise. I kind of enjoy it. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” Ashlyn says. “I do too. Silence can be good.”

Ali takes her hand and sets it atop Ashlyn’s, her thumb rubbing over Ashlyn’s knuckles as she takes it and brings it to her lips, leaving a tiny lip gloss print that Ashlyn will be sad to wash off.

~

When they pull into the circular driveway of Ali’s dad’s “little vacation house,” per Ali, Ashlyn feels the breath leave her lungs.

“What the hell is this place,” she says, and Ali looks at her in concern.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Nothing,” Ashlyn says. “This is just… absurd. I wasn’t expecting all this.”

The house is enormous, for one thing, but it’s also beautiful, made of some kind of stone Ashlyn can’t place, but it looks expensive. The lawn is perfectly groomed, and the walk to the front door is lined with beautifully coiffed topiaries, but of course they enter through the perfectly clean garage, where Ali pulls her perfect white BMW.

“This explains so much about you,” Ashlyn says, feeling the need to take her shoes off as soon as she steps onto the cherry hardwood floor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ali asks, sounding offended.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Ashlyn says. “You’re just so perfect, and this place is so perfect.”

“I’m not,” Ali says quietly, and Ashlyn immediately regrets saying anything.

 

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “But you’re perfect to me. And I’ve only ever dreamed about living somewhere like this.”

“I don’t live here,” Ali says.

“I know, which makes me feel like your actual house is probably beyond words,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Can you not?” Ali asks. “I know you’re being nice, but please.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says, realizing she’s struck a nerve. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Ali says, kissing her to prove it. “Let me take your bag upstairs.” She nearly has to wrestle Ashlyn for it, but Ashlyn knows Ali is ridiculously strong from trying to keep up with some of her workouts, so she gives in pretty easily. “This is my room,” Ali says, opening the door to a (not shockingly) massive and perfectly (Ashlyn has got to stop using that word) tidy suite. “We could stay in the master if you’d rather, but I just always feel weird about that even though nobody else is here.” She moves to set their bags down, but pauses, straightening back up. “We also don’t have to stay in the same room.”

“That’s up to you,” Ashlyn says. “I’m fine either way. Though I wouldn’t mind cuddling and not having to worry about campers waking up in the middle of the night and catching us.”

“Together,” Ali says. “I want to fall asleep with you.”

“Well that works perfectly, because I want to wake up with you,” Ashlyn says, stepping toward Ali to wrap her in her arms. She places a kiss on her temple, noting how well Ali fits into her embrace.

“What do you want to do?” Ali murmurs into Ashlyn’s neck. “We could watch a movie or something.”

“Whatever you want,” Ashlyn says. “As long as it involves me in pajamas with you and a bottle of wine, I’m a happy camper.”

“Don’t say camper,” Ali laughs. “And we don’t have alcohol in the house.”

“Oh,” Ashlyn says. “Right. I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“No, it’s okay,” Ali says. “We can run to the store and get some.”

“The pajamas are significantly more important to me right now,” Ashlyn says. “Oh, and you.”

“Well you’ve got me, and the pajamas can happen as quickly as you can get undressed,” Ali says, only realizing how it sounds after it leaves her mouth, but it’s too late, and Ashlyn picks right up on it.

“I could break land-speed records doing that for you, princess.”

~

When Ashlyn is significantly cozy on the couch in the movie room (of course there’s a movie room, Ashlyn thinks, but she keeps that to herself), Ali makes her “world-famous” kettle corn (on the stove, not a microwaveable bag, much to Ashlyn’s amazement) and hot cocoa, which Ashlyn argues on account of it being summer, but she shuts right up when she lifts the cute homemade mug (courtesy of Ali circa 1990) to her lips.

After a decent amount of back-and-forth (comedy vs. drama, Drew Barrymore vs. Reese Witherspoon, and finally Legally Blonde vs. Sweet Home Alabama), the girls find themselves twenty minutes into the movie realizing how futile it was when both are more preoccupied with the other’s lips than the film.

When Ashlyn pulls away for a breathing break, Ali rolls over so she’s lying on top of her, kissing her neck. Ashlyn feels like she shouldn’t be surprised at this point by anything Ali does, but her level of comfort and seeming expertise in intimate situations shocks Ashlyn every time.

It was Ali who initiated the first (real) kiss, Ali who asked Ashlyn to sleep in her bed the first time, Ali who called her her girlfriend first, and now Ali whose hands are sliding underneath Ashlyn’s shirt.

“Alex,” Ashlyn breathes. “Baby, hang on.”

“What’s wrong?” Ali asks, pulling away.

“I just want to make sure we’re on the same page,” Ashlyn says. “We haven’t talked about this.”

“Is that what you normally do in this situation?” Ali asks breathlessly. “Talk?”

“Not really,” Ashlyn says. “But you’re different.”

“How?” Ali asks, sitting back on her knees. Ashlyn sits up against the arm of the couch.

“Because I care about you and I’m not going to let you do something you haven’t really considered,” Ashlyn says.

“What if I told you I’ve been thinking about this every second since I first saw you?” Ali asks.

“I’d say that was like two and a half weeks ago,” Ashlyn says.

“Do you think about it for months before sleeping with someone new?” Ali asks.

“Alex,” Ashlyn whines. “Be serious.”

“I am being serious,” Ali says. “I like you way more than any of the drunk girls hanging all over you on Instagram ever did.”

“First of all, ouch,” Ashlyn asks. “But fine, you’re right, whatever. Have you ever slept with a woman before?”

“You know the answer to that,” Ali says softly. “That doesn’t change anything.”

“Actually it does,” Ashlyn says.

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” Ali says.

“You don’t understand,” Ashlyn says. “I want to so bad. It physically pains me to stop you. But I need to know it’s what you want. And I need to know you won’t regret it in the morning, or next week, or a month from now. Because that would hurt me way more.”

"You think this is all new to me,” Ali says. “I mean, it is in a lot of ways, but for so much of my life I've felt like my life, my sexuality, whatever, is some ridiculous puzzle that I have to figure out and the final piece was working up the courage to admit to someone else how I feel.” She stares down at her hands. “And then I did, and it blew up in my face, and all the pieces I had worked so hard to put together were scattered again.”

She pauses, running a hand through her hair. Ashlyn is almost surprised when she looks up and her eyes are completely free of tears. She looks upset, but only because she seems to be searching for the right words.

“Then when I finally managed—by accident or out of necessity—to piece it back together, I learned from my mistakes,” Ali says. “I told my family and made sure I was at a point where I didn’t have to rely on what anyone thought of me.” She smiles, her hand reaching for Ashlyn’s knee. “And to try again and not only have you accept me, but to want me back, it just feels like this is what I've been waiting for for so long and now it's right in front of me. And you're the most important piece of the puzzle. Whether I feel that way in a month doesn't matter because it's going to be worth it to finally feel complete tonight. But I'm not worried about that, and you shouldn't be either. Please trust me."

"You're wrong about that," Ashlyn says, gently thumbing Ali's cheek. "I'm not the missing piece. You did that all by yourself. I need you to know that."

"Maybe," Ali says. "But maybe this can be my reward."

"I thought the satisfaction of completing the puzzle and seeing the big picture would be reward enough, Miss ‘Everything's a Competition,’" Ashlyn teases.

"Hey Ashlyn?" Ali asks.

"Yes Alexandra?"

"I think I'm ready for bed."

"Yeah," Ashlyn says. "I think I am too."

~

Ali's body betrays her brain, which is screaming at her to wash the mugs and take care of the popcorn.

"Leave it," Ashlyn murmurs between kisses, sensing Ali's preoccupation. Weirdly, it turns Ali on even more that Ashlyn already knows her well enough to sense and appease her one-track mind.

When they get upstairs, Ashlyn is glad she saw the room before, at least enough to get a feel for the dimmer on the light switch. When she turns on the light, it's practically perfect mood lighting, but if Ali notices she doesn't say anything, too busy biting at Ashlyn's collarbone.

"I'm in a bathing suit all day, baby," Ashlyn reminds her, gently pulling her away

"Don't care," Ali mumbles, kissing her jaw, her cheek, everywhere she can reach. "Want everyone to know you're—” Another kiss. "All mine."

"I am," Ashlyn says, her hands slipping under Ali's shirt to caress her skin. Ali lifts her arms to allow Ashlyn to remove her shirt easily. The childlike innocence of the move reminds Ashlyn what she's dealing with. "So gorgeous," Ashlyn mutters, just audible to Ali.

Ali tugs at Ashlyn’s shirt as Ashlyn’s lips crash down on hers again. “Take it off,” she mumbles, and she doesn’t have to tell her twice, Ashlyn practically ripping off her shirt to obey.

When their bodies meet again, the skin-to-skin contact sends Ali’s nerve endings ablaze. Ashlyn lifts her, and instinctively she wraps her legs around Ashlyn’s waist before Ashlyn lays her down on the bed.

“God, you're beautiful,” Ashlyn says, kissing her way down Ali’s chest and torso. She hooks her thumbs into the waistband of Ali’s pajama pants, and Ali lifts her hips to allow her to slide them down her legs, kicking them off when they get down to her ankles. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Ali asks, sitting up so she's resting on her elbows.

Ashlyn is looking at her hip, which is usually covered, but now that she's in just her underwear, less is covered.

“Oh,” Ali says as Ashlyn gently peels back her underwear in curiosity. “I got a tattoo after the season ended last fall.”

Ashlyn responds by kissing the tattoo, a Penn State logo with 22, which Ashlyn knows is her number based on the PSU Soccer gear Ali sometimes wears on her morning runs. The soft touch of her lips makes Ali's skin tingle.

"What made you get it?" she asks Ali.

"Nobody thought I would," Ali says. "I wanted to get it last summer, but..." She trails off. "People said I would get two seconds in and bail." Ashlyn doesn't have to ask who those people are. Ali's change in demeanor tells her enough.

"You're a wild card," Ashlyn says. "I don't think you'll ever stop surprising me."

Ali smiles, and her eyes sparkle at Ashlyn's praise. “Your turn to surprise me,” she says, biting her bottom lip.

Ashlyn presses feather light kisses to the skin above her panty line, feeling Ali’s already-tight abdominals tense beneath her lips. When Ali begins to squirm below her, eyes fluttering shut, Ashlyn moves back up to kiss her lips.

“Stay with me,” she murmurs, and Ali nods.

“I'm right here,” she says. She sits up and reaches behind herself to unclasp her bra. Ashlyn slides the straps down Ali’s shoulders, her breath catching when Ali’s essentially bare before her.

She takes a moment to run her hands down Ali’s bare sides before kissing back down her neck and chest, making sure to pay special attention to the sensitive new skin at her disposal. Her lips close around Ali’s nipple, and Ali lets out a small gasp at the sensation.

Ashlyn shouldn’t be surprised that Ali of all people would make her desires very clear in bed. It’s just an extension of her (endearingly) bossy nature. She continues to bite and suck at Ali’s breast as her fingers travel down her sides, hooking beneath the waistband of her underwear. She looks up at Ali as if to ask if it’s okay before she slides the underwear down her hips.

When Ali is completely naked beneath Ashlyn, shyness creeps in. “Take off yours,” Ali says quietly, reaching to tug at Ashlyn’s sweatpants. Ashlyn obeys, quickly ridding herself of any remaining fabric left on her body, eager to put Ali at ease as much as possible. She crawls back on top of Ali, kissing her deeply, a tiny moan escaping from her mouth when she feels Ali’s fingers dig into her back. “Oh, you like that?” Ali teases, a challenge if Ashlyn’s ever heard one.

In response, Ashlyn runs a hand all the way down Ali’s front, stopping to linger just above where Ali wants her to be, then back up to her breasts. She repeats this a few times while kissing Ali, torturously slow.

Every time Ashlyn comes close to where Ali needs her, she tries to move as if to trick Ashlyn into finally touching her. Eventually it’s too much, and she pulls her lips away from Ashlyns. “Please,” she mumbles.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Ashlyn teases, nipping at her jaw.

“Please,” Ali says, a little more clearly this time. “Just fucking touch me already.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Ashlyn asks, her hand finally sliding down to where Ali is desperate for her. “Liar,” she says, rubbing her slowly. “You loved that, I can tell.”

Ali blushes. “I like this better,” she breathes. “Pl—” She can’t even finish her petition because Ashlyn has already predicted what she’d ask for, sliding one finger inside her. Ali grasps Ashlyn’s shoulder as she slides easily in and out, adding another finger without warning. “That feels really good,” Ali says, rocking her hips against Ashlyn as she continues.

When Ashlyn finally pulls out, Ali pouts. Like actually pouts, and Ashlyn thinks it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen in her life. Ashlyn moves down her body, leaving kisses and bites as she goes until she tastes Ali for the first time. When Ali’s hands fly to Ashlyn’s hair, she knows she’s on the right track.

Ali’s head is thrown back in a position that can’t be comfortable, and her hips are moving against Ashlyn’s face in a way that would make Ashlyn want to get her into bed immediately if she weren’t already there. Ali moans when Ashlyn sucks her clit into her mouth, her tongue sending Ali into a tailspin, but when Ashlyn slips her fingers back inside her, curling them slightly, it only takes a few more repetitions to send her completely over the edge.

Her eyes are squeezed shut, and she’s biting her lip so hard Ashlyn thinks she could break skin, but when it’s over, Ali’s body relaxes completely, her eyes fluttering open and her chest heaving with deep breaths as she releases Ashlyn’s hair from her grip.

“Oh my goodness,” Ali breathes, and Ashlyn has to laugh at such an innocent reaction, crawling up to lay beside her. “I’m going to need a second.”

“Take all the time in the world,” Ashlyn says, kissing her temple. “I’m staying right here.”

“That was better than I could have imagined,” Ali says, and Ashlyn can’t believe it, but she’s blushing. As many times as she’s done this and in as many ways as her partners have showed her they enjoyed it, nobody has ever been quite so straightforward. “I’m a little nervous now.”

“Why?” Ashlyn asks, turning on her side.

“Because how am I supposed to follow that?” Ali says. She laughs, but Ashlyn can tell she really is nervous.

“Well, just do what I did,” Ashlyn says. “Just the thought of you touching me right now is enough to do it for me.”

Ali blushes, but she runs her hand down Ashlyn’s side, resting at her hip as she crawls over her, pushing Ashlyn onto her back. “Like that?” Ali asks, her voice considerably lower than before. She runs her fingers over Ashlyn’s stomach, putting the perfect amount of pressure to make Ashlyn’s hair stand on end. “Or that?”

“Alex,” Ashlyn groans.

“Or this,” Ali whispers, her hands finding Ashlyn’s breasts as her lips close around the spot on her neck she had been working earlier on the couch. She’s already left a mark, so she figures there’s no point stopping now.

Ali follows Ashlyn's lead as she moves down her body, stroking her gently at first. Her eyes widen, and Ashlyn laughs. "What was that?" she asks, and Ali turns red.

"I don't know, it's just so..."

"Oh my God," Ashlyn says, and she laughs again. "I forgot. You've never touched yourself."

Ali takes her hand away, suddenly self-conscious.

"No, keep going, it was perfect," Ashlyn says.

"I did," Ali says. "The other day in the shower, I... you know."

"Alexandra!" Ashlyn exclaims, as if she's scandalized, but then she smirks. "What were you thinking about?"

"You," Ali says simply. "I mean, we had been kissing and you were on top of me, and I was into it, and my mind went places. I should have taken a cold shower."

"Probably so," Ashlyn says. "Tell me what you were thinking about. And keep going, come on." She reaches for Ali's hand, pulling it back to where she wants it.

"I was thinking about how it would have felt to have your mouth on me," Ali says, her thumb making circles around Ashlyn's clit, making her eyes close in pleasure. "How it would feel to have your hands all over me in the shower."

Ashlyn wants to tease Ali about the lack of creativity involved in entertaining a shower sex fantasy in the shower, but last time she interrupted Ali, she had stopped, and that's the last thing Ashlyn wants. And Ali has absolutely no idea how hot it is to hear the woman currently getting you off talk about her sexual fantasies involving you. Or maybe she knows exactly what it's doing to Ashlyn and she's playing doe-eyed ingenue on purpose.

Ashlyn opens her eyes to see Ali staring back at her, smirking. Oh, it's definitely the latter.

"How you'd feel inside me," Ali says, slipping her fingers inside Ashlyn. "By the way, even better than expected." Ali puts her whole body into the movements she's making inside Ashlyn, grinding down on her thigh as she goes.

Her wetness brings back the recent memory of the look on her face when Ashlyn made her come for the first time, and Ashlyn squeezes her eyes shut to picture it, moaning partly for Ali's benefit, but mostly because she's been letting the feelings build up without release for too long.

She's glad she does, because her moan serves as encouragement for Ali, who strokes her even deeper, the heel of her palm putting pressure on her clit. Ashlyn reaches for Ali's free hand, and Ali squeezes it, smiling down at her. She maintains eye contact as she moves down her body, fingers still intertwined with Ashlyn's, and removes the fingers inside her, replacing them with her tongue.

"Fuck!" Ashlyn cries out, grasping the sheets with her free hand and squeezing Ali's with her other. "Oh my God, Ali, fuck, keep going, baby. Don’t stop."

Ali is nothing if not a good listener and adamant rule-follower, so she continues. She frees her hand from Ashlyn's grip and uses both hands to roughly squeeze Ashlyn's thighs, adding a new layer of sensation to her current pleasure.

Ashlyn is in heaven, she's sure of it. Only an angel could make her feel what Ali is right now. She's certainly not the most experienced partner Ashlyn has ever had or by any means the wildest, but there's something different about doing it with Ali than with anyone else. Neither one of them is rushing, both of them taking the time to explore the other's body, enjoying every touch, taste, and sound.

Ali murmurs against Ashlyn as her tongue continues its newfound hobby, her lips wrapping around Ashlyn's clit and sucking, pulling away with a pop before diving back in, hungry and determined.

Ashlyn grabs Ali's arm, holding on for dear life in a way she knows is going to leave a mark, but Ali kind of deserves it after the mess she made of Ashlyn's neck and chest. A few more licks, a bite, and several gasps later, Ashlyn is tumbling over the edge, squeezing her eyes shut and seeing stars. She can't contain the expletives and words of endearment spilling from her mouth as Ali keeps going.

Knock inexperience all you want, but whether Ali just doesn't realize she's achieved her goal or she's an overachiever, she brings her fingers back into the mix, and Ashlyn isn't even able to stop her to say "too much" before the knot in her belly starts to tighten again and she loses her breath before coming again.

This time, Ali is sure, and she pulls away, licking her fingers as if she just finished a s'more and not her first sexual encounter with a woman.

"You're going to be the death of me," Ashlyn murmurs, watching Ali under her heavy eyelids. She doesn't care how cliche it sounds, because here and now she's certain that she could die like this and be fully content.

“Was it good?” Ali asks, curling into Ashlyn’s side. They’re both sweaty, but neither one cares too much. The house has a housekeeper who comes weekly anyway, the sheets be damned.

“Which time?” Ashlyn asks, wrapping her arms around Ali.

“What do you mean?” Ali mumbles into her neck.

“Did you not do that on purpose?” Ashlyn asks, pulling back to look at her.

“Do what?” Ali exclaims.

“Make me come twice,” Ashlyn says. “Nobody’s ever done that before. Not like that anyway.”

“You… what?” Ali asks. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“That’s because your ex is a tool,” Ashlyn laughs, kissing the top of Ali’s head.

“Let’s not talk about him right now,” Ali suggests.

“Good plan,” Ashlyn agrees, her eyes closing as Ali rests her head on her chest. They fall asleep like that, any thought of anyone besides the two of them vanished.

~

When Ashlyn wakes up, she’s immediately disappointed Ali isn’t in her arms, but before she can be too upset, Ali walks in with a tray carrying a literal silver platter.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Ali says, setting the tray by the bed and jumping up to kiss Ashlyn.

“Did you go for a run?” Ashlyn asks, noting the ponytail and orange workout tank and leggings she’s wearing. “Really?”

“Sorry,” Ali says. “Training stops for no man. Or woman.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” Ashlyn mumbles. “But for the record, there are other ways to exercise the morning after.”

“We can still do that,” Ali laughs. “But eat first while the food is still hot.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Ashlyn says, flipping Ali onto her back and tugging at her leggings playfully.

“Stop,” Ali whines, but her whine turns into giggles as Ashlyn kisses her neck. “That tickles!” she squeals. “Be serious. I made breakfast for you. It’s way better than anything you’re going to have at camp.”

“I have you at camp, so that’s not possible,” Ashlyn murmurs, her face still buried in Ali’s neck. “But fine. If you insist.”

They share a kiss between every few bites, which eventually turns into a bite between every few kisses, which eventually leads to the food, cold and forgotten on Ali’s bedside table while Ashlyn shows her how that shower fantasy would really take place.

Ali spends the rest of the day showing Ashlyn around the woods behind the yard (complete with a swimming pool and hot tub, but of course) and finding trees against which they can take selfies and kiss. 

“Come look at this one before I post it,” Ashlyn calls. Ali is still in the bathroom getting ready for their date night. “Alex, come on, I'm hungry!” She gets no response. “Fine, you've given me no choice. I'm going to post the one of you falling out of the tree!”

Ashlyn had challenged her to see who could do more pull-ups on a conveniently located branch. She had started and gotten to seven (she's out of practice), and when Ali went, she told Ashlyn to take pictures so she could have proof of winning. But she may have been a little too confident because she accidentally gripped a weak part of the branch, crashing to the ground as Ashlyn captured the whole thing.

“Don't you dare!” Ali exclaims, rushing out of the bathroom. She's putting on a bracelet to match her gold earrings and choker necklace, and she's wearing a tight burgundy dress that hugs her hips and plunges perfectly, her cleavage covered by sheer mesh.

“I was joking,” Ashlyn says, standing up. “But oh my God. No more time in the bathroom because if you manage to get more beautiful, I really might not survive the night.” She leans in for a kiss, but Ali turns her face to the side.

“Lipstick,” she says. “I'll kiss you later.”

Ashlyn pouts, but when Ali turns around and bends over to put on her shoes, she realizes she could be in a much worse situation.

~

“Successful day off with my partner in crime,” Ashlyn mutters as she types out the caption to the Instagram she chose, a selfie from the woods in which they're looking at each other and laughing.

“Are you all packed, honey?” Ali asks, zipping up her suitcase. She's back in camp-approved clothes, makeup—minus mascara—washed away (which Ashlyn is happy about because it means unlimited make out potential), but hair still blown out and straightened and shiny. 

“What if we just don't go back?” Ashlyn whines. “Would they really miss us?”

“Nah,” Ali says. “Let's just leave Moe in charge. That would go well.”

“Your cheeks are pink,” Ashlyn says, pressing the back of her hand to them. “And warm. Cap would understand if you had a fever.”

“Or if I was still a little wine drunk,” Ali laughs. “Speaking of, can you drive?”

“Fine,” Ashlyn groans. “Just don't be surprised if I miss camp and keep driving.”

“We’d end up in the lake,” Ali reminds her.

They drive back to camp mostly in silence, Ali holding Ashlyn’s hand and mindlessly playing with her fingers as they listen to what’s left of Ali’s car ride playlist. When they pull into camp, it’s only 11:43, giving them a fair few minutes before curfew.

“This feels weird,” Ashlyn says, and Ali nods.

“I had a great time,” Ali says. “I don’t know if that’s, like, the thing to say, but it’s true.”

“Of course,” Ashlyn says. “Kind of weird to have a first date after calling you my girlfriend, but I hope you’d still say yes after it.”

“Even more so,” Ali grins. “Well, the date was a date. But last night, that pretty much sealed it for me.”

“Yeah I’ve heard I’m alright at that,” Ashlyn laughs, leaning in to kiss her. “You’re not bad yourself.”

“This whole sleeping in the same room thing is about to get considerably harder,” Ali says.

“How do KO and Alex do it?” Ashlyn asks.

“I walked in on them making out on a free period yesterday,” Ali says mindlessly, more focused on Ashlyn’s lips than anything else. “Guess we’ll have to get creative.” She rests her hand on Ashlyn’s knee and kisses her, opening her mouth to deepen it immediately. They only have like ten more minutes, might as well make the best of them.

Ali jumps back when she hears a car door slam, and the car parked in front of them beeps as its lights flash to signal it being locked. The figure that just stepped out of the car walks around to the front of the car, and when the person steps into the light, Ali freezes. “Let’s go,” she says. Ashlyn follows her gaze to figure out what has her so spooked.

“Tyler,” she mutters. “Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTIONS. I have so many of them, but I'm willing to bet you have WAY more for me.
> 
> 1\. Favorite line(s)? (This was almost 7,000 words long, so don't feel pressured to narrow it down)  
> 2\. Did anything unexpected happen?  
> 3\. Did you check anything off your wish list from this chapter?  
> 4\. What do you think they should do on their next day/night off? (There might have been a teeny tiny hint buried somewhere in this chapter...)  
> 5\. PREDICTIONS?!?!
> 
> Bonus: No bonus really, but here's your chance to pour out all your thoughts and feelings and yell at me or whatever you want to do ;)


	7. Come Back Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Ali reluctantly go back to reality. Well, as much as camp can be "reality," anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love and encouragement so far! Oh, and psssst if you haven't read [... do it.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5209553)
> 
> (Friday, June 30

Ali can’t stop shaking the whole way back to the cabin after checking in with Cap, even though she tells Ashlyn she’s fine.

“Did you see that smirk on his face?” Ali says. “He’s so pleased with himself. What if he tries to do something?”

“What in the world would he do?” Ashlyn asks. “Cap is the only one who could do anything about it, and she knows. Little by little, people are already finding out. We have to keep it quiet from the campers for the most part, but if he goes and tells a bunch of kids, that’ll be his ass on the line, not ours.”

“I know,” Ali says. “I’m just scared he’ll try to do something to come between us.”

“Are you kidding?” Ashlyn scoffs. “That’s not possible.” They stop in front of the cabin, and Ashlyn lifts Ali’s chin. “Look at me,” she says. Ali blinks up at her, enormous brown eyes slightly glassy with worry. “This has been the best day I have had in a long time. I’m not letting him ruin it, and neither should you.”

Ali nods, but she still looks glum, so Ashlyn pecks her on the lips. “I really hate how much I let him get to me,” she says. “And I hate it even more now that it affects you.”

“It doesn’t,” Ashlyn says. “I mean, even if it does, who cares. I win. I’ve got you.”

“Is that all I am to you?” Ali asks, her lips curling into a smile. “Some prize to be won? Where’s your feminism, Ashlyn Harris?”

“You saw it last night,” Ashlyn teases. “One more kiss. Then back to real life.”

“No,” Ali whines, burying her head in Ashlyn’s chest.

“Camp life, anyway,” Ashlyn says. She leans down to kiss Ali, and their lips remain fused until finally Ashlyn has to pull away to breathe. “Better?”

“So much better,” Ali says.

~

Ali and Ashlyn keep missing each other the next morning, but it’s probably for the best. Ashlyn wakes up and showers before Ali comes back from her run, and Ali returns to shower when Ashlyn is exiting the bathroom. All the girls are milling about sleepily by that point, so there are no stolen kisses or lingering touches, which feels weird after being fused to each other for such a long and intense 24 hours.

After spending an embarrassingly great deal of time covering the hickeys on her collarbone, Ashlyn gets to flag raising early, meeting Whitney for the chance to debrief about the day off.

“Twice?” Whitney gasps, and Ashlyn nods.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Ashlyn says. “I can’t even describe the feeling.”

“Good,” Whitney says. “Please don’t.”

Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. It was amazing. She’s amazing.”

“So did you manage to get out of bed at any point?” Whit asks. “I mean, I did see that Instagram picture.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “We went exploring and then I took her to a nice dinner. Though I don’t know if it was nice by her standards.”

“What do you mean?” Whit asks.

“You’ve been to that house, right? It’s insane.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Whitney says.

“Oh, I forgot,” Ashlyn laughs. “You’re a princess too.”

“Ashlyn,” Whit warns. “Do you remember freshman year?”

Of course she does. It was one of the most challenging years of her life, but also one of the most rewarding. She knows what Whitney’s referring to, though. When she moved in, they became best friends immediately. Whitney’s laidback style and sense of humor were right up Ashlyn’s alley, and she instantly knew she’d found a kindred spirit. Then her parents came to visit.

Her parents were amazing, of course, but it was only then Ashlyn realized that Whitney came from money—well, more than Ashlyn did anyway, which isn’t always saying much. Ashlyn couldn’t let it go, everything from the rental car they drove to the hotel they stayed in to the shopping spree Whit’s mom took her on, and it drove a wedge between them. It wasn’t that Ashlyn was jealous or angry, but Whitney felt like money, a thing that had never really mattered to her, was suddenly this unconquerable obstacle in their relationship because of Ashlyn’s insecurity about it.

That’s the thing about being comfortable financially, Whitney only realizes later down the line. The biggest privilege money affords you is the ability to never think about it. Growing up, Ashlyn never had that privilege, which means she thinks and behaves in a completely different way than Whitney does in regards to money. They both had to learn how to navigate each other’s worlds in that respect in order to move forward in their relationship. But that’s just with Whitney. So she can only imagine it’s a whole other ball game when it comes to a romantic relationship with Ali.

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “It’s a stupid thing to focus on. I think it bothered her that I commented on it, so I tried to stop.”

“It definitely bothered her,” Whit says. “I know Ali.”

“I’m just trying to figure it out still,” Ashlyn says. “I know this is just a summer thing, but I still want to make her feel special and do nice things for her, like taking her out to dinner. But she’s so used to being, well…”

“Don’t say it,” Whitney says.

“A princess,” Ashlyn says. “I know she hates that, but it’s just so true. I don’t know how to top whatever her parents have been doing since she was born.”

“You’re not supposed to,” Whit says. “Her parents are her parents. They’re going to spoil the crap out of her and pay for her to go to college and take her on European vacations like they have for her whole life, but you’re not supposed to. You’re just supposed to treat her with respect, which means not letting something like money bother you. Because I guarantee it won’t bother her in the least.”

“I know, I know,” Ashlyn says. She doesn’t want to be flippant because she knows what Whitney is saying is true, but she sees Ali walking toward them with Kyle, so they’ll have to cut the conversation short. “Thanks, Whit. You’re my best friend for a reason.”

“And you better not replace me just because she puts out for you,” Whitney says.

“What?” Kyle exclaims, spinning around to look at Ali, who’s turned bright red. Whitney didn’t see them approaching, and she certainly hadn’t noticed them directly behind her.

“Oh my God,” Whitney says under her breath, cringing. Ashlyn can’t help but laugh.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Ali says, wrapping an arm around Ashlyn’s waist. “Morning, cutie.”

Campers and counselors swarm the area, so there won’t be any kisses, but Ashlyn squeezes Ali’s shoulder instead.

“Sit with me at breakfast?” Ashlyn asks.

“Sorry, I have to sit with Kyle so we can gossip about you,” Ali teases. “But at lunch, I’m all yours.”

“Holding you to that,” Ashlyn says, warning in her voice. “And whatever you tell him better be good.”

“Not too good, though, please,” Kyle groans. “My pure ears have already heard too much.”

~

“Pure ears my ass,” Ali laughs when she sits down by Kyle, carrying two cups of coffee. “What do you want to know?”

“Um, everything,” Kyle says, leaning forward on his forearms across the table. The closest people to them are at the other end of the table because everyone knows not to even bother trying to talk to either one of them when they are having a sibling chat. “I just can’t believe you didn’t text me as soon as it happened. That’s big, Al.”

“It’s not like I’m a virgin,” she whispers.

“Yeah, but this is different,” he says. “How do you feel? How was it? Better? Weirder?”

“I feel great,” Ali says. “We did a lot more than have sex, you know.”

“Like eat breakfast naked and shower together?” Kyle jokes, but his eyes widen when he sees the look on Ali’s face. “Shut up, you did not!”

“Kyle,” Ali whines. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“If you can’t tell me, who can you tell?” he exclaims.

“Literally anyone else,” she says. “She was really sweet and made me feel really comfortable. And she took me out to dinner last night, which was wonderful. I love hanging out with her. She makes me laugh and smile, and I care about her a lot.”

“That’s what matters,” Kyle says. “But was the sex good?”

“Which time?” Ali says, smirking as she takes a sip of her coffee. “The answer is yes, and I plan on doing it a lot more. With her, not with like… anyone. Satisfied?”

“Very,” Kyle says, clapping his hands together. “I mean, not as much as you, obviously. I need to get laid. God, when’s my next night off?”

Ali raises her eyebrows. “Kyle,” she warns.

“I know,” he groans. “No hooking up with townies I don’t know.”

“Good,” Ali says. “Oh, there’s one more thing.” She puts her coffee down and takes a deep breath. “Tyler saw us. Yesterday.”

“So?” he asks. “You guys are like always together, you’re co-counselors.”

“We’re usually not making out in my car though,” Ali says.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So what did he say?”

“Nothing,” Ali says. “He just gave us a look and walked away.”

“What kind of look?” Kyle asks. “An ‘I’m a homophobic piece of shit’ look? Or a ‘that was hot’ look? Actually, I don’t know which one is grosser in this situation.”

“Don’t remind me,” Ali says, shuddering. “It was just a skeevy smirk. And it shook me up.”

“I’ve got my eye on him,” Kyle says. “So do the other guys. You’re everyone’s baby sister here, and if he fucks with you, he fucks with all of us.”

~

As luck would have it, the first group to arrive to waterfront after breakfast is Tyler’s group. Ashlyn’s blood runs cold, but she grits her teeth and ignores his smug obnoxious face as she hands out paddles and life jackets.

Whit splits the kids into teams as they pair off into canoes for a relay race and explains the rules.

“Wait!” One of the campers says. Ashlyn thinks his name is Cameron, but she can’t remember. “Can we get counselors on our team?”

Whitney looks at Ashlyn and Ryan, who both shrug. “Yeah, I guess,” Whit says. “Ash and I will go with one team and Tyler and Ryan can go with the other team.”

“That’s not fair!” the same camper exclaims. “I mean, no offense, but you’re both girls. Can’t we draft counselors?”

“Excuse me, have you seen these guns?” Ashlyn jokes, flexing. In reality, she’s pretty sure she and Whitney could take the guys considering their experience with canoes and their ability to communicate—not to mention their upper body strength—but she’ll humor the kid.

“We’ll take Ashlyn,” Cameron announces, and the rest of his team nods their agreement.

“That’s right!” she says. “See ya, suckers.” She hops into an empty canoe and grabs a paddle from the dock.

“Fine, we’re taking Ryan!” a kid on the other team says.

“Heck yeah!” he exclaims, high fiving them all. “Second pick isn’t so bad.”

“We’ll take Tyler!” yells another kid on Cameron’s team, and Ashlyn’s stomach sinks. She doesn’t know how she didn’t see this coming.

Whit looks at her with concern, but Ashlyn forces a smile and a thumbs up as Tyler makes his way to the canoe. Whitney swims toward Ryan, who helps her into his canoe.

“Guess we’re teammates,” Tyler says, raising an eyebrow and jumping into the canoe, making the boat rock so much Ashlyn grips the sides. She avoids eye contact by staring forward as he takes his spot behind her. “Listen, dude, I know you hate me, and now I understand why. I’m not a huge fan of exes of the women I date either.”

“We don’t have to talk,” Ashlyn mutters.

“Au contraire,” Tyler says, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “Because I love competition, and I don’t take well to losing.”

“You better get used to it, then,” Ashlyn shoots back. Whitney counts down and blows her whistle, and the first canoes are off to the races.

“Defensive,” Tyler says. “I was talking about the relay race, but that’s interesting. I still wouldn’t count me out just yet.”

“I would,” Ashlyn says. “If I were Ali, I don’t think I’d have any interest in someone who is a total dick to me.”

“If I were Ali, I’d get pretty bored pretty quickly with this rebellious act.”

“I guess to a main beneficiary of the patriarchy, a woman who likes other women is an act of rebellion,” Ashlyn muses. “It must suck to realize you are disposable.”

“If that’s what you want to believe,” Tyler says. “Listen, I have no interest in your slam piece or whatever she is.” Ashlyn scrunches her nose at his terminology. Total bro. She has never hated someone she’s barely talked to quite so much. “We had fun while it lasted, but I don’t want her back. I don’t even have anything against her. All I’d suggest is you get the full story from her of what happened between us. For your sake.”

“I’m sure,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes. “Are you ready?”

“Born ready,” he says. When the canoe before them comes back to slap Ashlyn’s hand, they take off almost as if competing against each other, which makes them go even faster, turning at the buoy before Whit and Ryan are even halfway there. Both canoes are the anchors of their team, and Ashlyn and Tyler slide easily into the finish way ahead of the others.

All the boys on their team cheer, and Ashlyn turns around to watch Whitney finish. “Come on, Whit!” she exclaims, and all the boys join in cheering for the other team. When they finish, everyone claps for them, and Tyler smiles.

“That was cool,” he says. “Cheering for her instead of celebrating the win.”

“If that strikes you as an odd thing to do, you’re an even crappier person than I thought,” Ashlyn says, getting out of the canoe.

“I get why you think that,” Tyler says. “But I think if you thought about it you’d realize I’ve actually never done anything to you, and your entire image of me is based over something my ex might have told you. Just remember there are three sides to every story. Hers, mine, and the truth. I’m not claiming to be totally innocent. Just think about the source.”

“You’re right,” Ashlyn says when they get back on the dock. “You’ve never done anything to me, but whether you know it or not, you hurt someone I care about a lot. So I think I’m somewhat justified. But whatever, past is the past, moving on. All I care about is if you really think you’re a good guy and you really don’t have anything against her, just… don’t tell anyone about this. Alright? Everyone who needs to know already does. Cap included. Don’t ruin the summer for her.”

“I won’t,” Tyler says. “Nice race.” He extends his hand to Ashlyn, and after a moment of hesitation, she shakes it.

~

With Friday night comes one of the whole camp’s favorite nights. Even the counselors who have the night off (Kyle, Ashlyn, and Ali included) stay at camp for the first and last open mic nights. The ones in between tend to involved less fanfare, so Ali assures Ashlyn they will definitely get Friday nights off in the future.

Open mic night is held in the canteen, which is set up a lot like a cafe, but big enough to fit all of senior camp (the little kids get to come to the last open mic night, which is in the bigger auditorium, but they’ll sit this one out) on its plethora of couches, chairs, and benches, which have all been positioned around a makeshift stage.

Ashlyn and Ali are the only people crossing color war team lines, looking a bit out of place on a loveseat with Ashlyn decked out in all blue and Ali going so far as to have gold glitter spray in her hair, which Ashlyn has to tease her about.

“It’s scented,” Ali says defensively, and of course Ashlyn has to test it for herself, leaning in to breathe Ali in.

“Vanilla,” Ashlyn says. “Nice.”

Crystal squeezes in next to Ashlyn. “Ready?” she asks, and Ashlyn nods.

“I cannot wait for this,” Ali says.

“I don’t understand why you aren’t getting up and blowing everyone away with your amazing skills, Alexandra,” Ashlyn teases.

Ali rolls her eyes. “Shut up. You still aren’t even going to give me a hint?”

“Um, and ruin the surprise? Not a chance.”

The night begins with Pinoe and A Rod (blue and gold, respectively) stepping up to emcee the night, hilariously as ever. Kyle and the gold side male counselors step up first, while the blue side ladies will anchor the evening.

They do a dance that verges on PG-13 to “I’m Too Sexy,” ending with Kyle practically giving Pinoe a lap dance as she films it with his iPhone, which nobody chastises because everyone wants to see it on Facebook when camp is over.

After a few well-meaning but poorly executed indie guitar performances to Jason Mraz and John Mayer songs, Ali leans her head against Ashlyn’s shoulder, yawning. Ashlyn knows she’ll have gold glitter on her blue tracksuit when she gets up, but she doesn’t care if it means Ali’s comfortable and content.

“Tired?” Ashlyn murmurs, and Ali nods.

“Lots of volleyball today,” she says. “Carli and I may have gotten a little competitive.”

“Shocking,” Ashlyn laughs. “You better wake up for my sweet dance moves.”

“I’m saving my energy for them,” Ali promises, and Ashlyn can feel her smiling against her shoulder.

Pinoe plays guitar for a girl in her cabin who’s on the gold side, and she sings a Taylor Swift song beautifully, earning a legitimate round of applause as opposed to the polite golf claps the previous acts had received.

Group after group and camper after camper go up to sing or dance or do rhythmic gymnastics (cooler than you’d think), and Ashlyn is legitimately impressed.

“They’re not bad,” she says to Ali, and she almost feels embarrassed about what she and the girls are about to get up and do.

“Um, yeah,” Ali says. “You forget we have a whole section of camp dedicated to performing arts. When you see the show at the end of the summer, you’ll die. They’re so good.”

“That’s comforting,” Ashlyn says.

“Aw, are you scared?” Ali teases. “Don’t worry, just picture everyone in their underwear. Maybe not me though.”

“I don’t have to picture that,” Ashlyn says. “I just have to snap my fingers.”

“Still here,” Crystal deadpans, and Ali laughs, lifting her head off Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“You guys are going to kick ass,” she promises, and right on time, Pinoe announces the final act of the night: the Blue Crew. “Like I said!”

Ashlyn takes her place on stage in between Crystal, who’s front and center, and Alex, who’s on the end. Press and Lori are on the other side. Before the Spice Girls dance, Ashlyn hadn’t talked to Lori much, but she’s quietly hilarious and one of the coolest people she’s met so far.

“I’m the resident ginger,” she had shrugged when Ashlyn joined the dance crew. It followed that Alex would be Baby (her nickname has always been Baby Horse because of the prancing and galloping way she runs), Crystal would be Scary (“it’s not a race thing, it’s a fierce thing,” Crystal herself had explained), Press would be Posh (of course), and Ashlyn would be Sporty.

They all strike their poses, backs to the audience, and when the song begins, they spring into action. When Ashlyn turns around for her “solo,” Ali cheers the loudest, a grin across her face that makes all of Ashlyn’s nerves melt away.

“Caught in a craze, it’s just a phase, or will it be this way forever?” the girls lip synch, and Ali starts snapping pictures, cracking up at the hip shaking and spins Crystal choreographed. Ashlyn looks so out of place, but really they all do next to Crystal, who is the only one who looks like she knows what she’s doing. The point is they’re all having fun, and Ali is loving it, and that’s all that matters to Ashlyn.

“Stop right now, thank you very much!” When the song ends, they get a standing ovation, probably mostly a result of the exhausted counselors who are just happy the evening is over, but they take overly dramatic bows and blow kisses to the crowd nonetheless. Ashlyn can’t take her eyes off Ali, though, who’s grinning, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she watches Ashlyn’s every move.

Ashlyn is head over heels.

~

“Psst.” Ali is almost asleep when she hears a whisper in her ear, and she rubs her eyes, blinking them open to see Ashlyn.

“What are you doing?” Ali mumbles.

“Sneaking out,” Ashlyn says. “You’re coming.”

“Ashlyn, we can’t go off campus now, it’s almost curfew,” Ali whispers.

“We aren’t,” Ashlyn says. “Come on. I promise it’ll be fun.”

Ali is exhausted, but the smile on Ashlyn’s face could make her do anything. She slides on her flip flops after Ashlyn assures her she can stay in her pajamas, and they tiptoe quietly out of the cabin. Camp is eerily quiet so late at night, but Ali loves being able to hold Ashlyn’s hand openly as they listen to the sounds of crickets and frogs and probably bears stepping on sticks in the woods not far off.

They walk hand-in-hand to the waterfront, where Ashlyn laid out blankets and pillows right before dinner. “What is this?” Ali laughs.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” Ashlyn says. She walks toward the pool shed and disappears inside. Moments later, all the lights around the waterfront turn off, and Ali is standing in complete darkness.

“Ashlyn!” Ali whisper-yells. “Where are you? What happened to the lights?” She only knows Ashlyn is coming back because she can hear her sandals slapping against the wood dock. She squints until Ashlyn comes back into view, just barely. “Did you turn out the lights?” she asks. “It’s so dark!”

“That’s because you aren’t looking at the right things,” Ashlyn says. She puts a hand on the small of Ali’s back and leads her to the setup, which is a lot more comfortable than Ali imagined. The fluffy blankets beneath them can’t quite make up for the hard wood of the dock, but the pillows make it cozy, and Ashlyn’s arms around her makes it warm and snuggly. “Look up,” she says, and Ali obeys.

“Wow,” she breathes. She has seen the stars plenty in her life, but never has she imagined how they might look without any city (or house, or camp) lights messing up the view. It’s a cloudless night, and the stars are so clear and bright that Ali forgets it’s pitch black out. “You did all this for me?”

Ashlyn laughs. “Yes, Alex, I placed every one of those stars up there just for you. I’m so glad I’m finally getting the recognition I deserve.”

Ali smacks her playfully, moving closer so she’s pressed into her side, but after a few moments of hearing nothing but the water under the dock and Ashlyn’s steady heartbeat, she realizes she’d believe Ashlyn did put those stars there if she said so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAS PREGUNTAS, MIS AMIGOS!  
> 1\. Favorite line? (This question is N E V E R going away ok)  
> 2\. Whose reaction/conversation did you enjoy more? Whitney's or Kyle's? Why?  
> 3\. Did anything surprise you?! What? (I have a feeling I have a few ideas, but hey, YOU could surprise ME!)  
> 4\. Did this chapter raise any questions? WHAT? (This is a leading question and I'm not even sorry about it)  
> 5\. Predictions?
> 
> BONUS: Who are you pulling for in color war so far?! (This question will be back sometime I'm sure)


	8. Safe With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new week brings relationship news and tough conversations... and a little more competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Monday, July 3)

The weekend is uneventful, mainly because it’s the first weekend a lot of counselors have off. Ali and Ashlyn (along with Kyle, Whit, and pretty much all their friends) asked for the weekend of Ali’s birthday off, which Cap happily granted because she too has a summer birthday, not to mention she loves Ali. That much is obvious.

There are no waterfront activities Monday, so Ashlyn has both morning periods off, and the afternoon is dedicated to a color war kickball tournament. In a dream world, Ali would have those periods off too and she and Ashlyn could go back to the cabin after breakfast and lie in bed all morning, but of course Ali has groups all morning.

Having the morning off still works perfectly for Ashlyn, though, because her cabin is going to high ropes, and she hasn’t been back since the time Ali did them. Ashlyn has grown to love the girls in her cabin as individuals and as a whole, and it constantly blows her mind that they’re only 15 and 16 when she feels like they could be her new best friends.

When they split into pairs, Moe and Ashlyn automatically choose each other. “Even though I know it’s just because Ali isn’t here, it’s nice to know I’m your second choice,” Moe says.

In reality, Moe is a pretty excellent counselor in training. Not only is she fun and right around the campers’ ages, but she knows how to deal with crises without even raising any alarms. One night, Taryn got in a fight with her boyfriend back home, and Moe sat with her on the back porch while she cried and vented till 2 a.m. while everyone else—Ali and Ash included—slept.

And while Ashlyn helps Kelley hand out helmets and harnesses, Moe helps the campers get strapped in, joking with the ones who are nervous about how if she can manage to get through it without tripping and falling on her face, anyone can.

To Ashlyn’s surprise, Caitlin volunteers to go first. She’s paired with Grace, who calls out the commands and instructions in a voice louder than Ashlyn has ever heard the quieter girl use.

“Yes! Go Cait!” Grace calls, clapping her hands together when Caitlin gets to the first platform. Caitlin grins down, and Ashlyn gives her a thumbs up, which she reciprocates. “Wait, Ash, will you take pictures?” Grace asks, handing over her phone without taking her eyes off the course. Technically that’s a spotter’s job, but most campers get distracted, hence why the counselors are always there to redirect them and keep an eye on the course.

“So much for no phones,” Ashlyn teases. All the older girls know that rule is mostly a joke, and nobody’s going to give them a hard time for it as long as it’s away during daily activities. High ropes is always an exception for the sake of pictures, of course.

She smiles at the picture on Grace’s lock screen, a group picture of all the girls sitting on the porch, hugging each other and grinning. Ashlyn is kneeling between Ali and Moe behind them, Ali’s head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. She slides her finger across the screen to open it, but it asks for a pass code.

“What’s the password?” she asks.

“Just slide up for the camera,” Kelley says like it’s obvious.

“It’s 0623,” Grace says, and Ashlyn sticks her tongue out at Kelley.

Ashlyn unlocks it to see a picture of Caitlin giving Grace a piggyback ride at the sports fields, but what Ashlyn notices is Ali in the background, grinning while wiping sweat from her forehead. She’s totally in her element, and when Ashlyn sees the soccer balls in the background she can see why. She still hasn’t gotten a chance to play soccer with Ali, but her passion for the game is clear.

She realizes she’s been too busy staring at Ali to take pictures like she was supposed to, so she opens the camera and starts snapping away before it’s too late. Other campers follow as Caitlin progresses, so she tries to cheer them on as well. When Caitlin finally comes down the zipline, she gets a great video, so she has that much going for her.

Grace helps her unclip and offers her hand as Caitlin climbs down the ladder, and when she reaches the bottom, they high five and hug giddily.

“She so did not want to do that,” Grace explains as Ashlyn hands back her phone. “But we made a deal, so now I have to make her stupid bed for the rest of the week.”

“Success!” Caitlin says, throwing her arm over her shoulder. “And hey, you signed up for it.” Grace rolls her eyes, but goes to get in line to be one of the next to do the course.

“How are things?” Ashlyn asks as Caitlin steps out of her harness.

“Good,” Caitlin says. “I guess I was just homesick.”

Ashlyn raises her eyebrows. “Well then that’s good,” she says.

“Hang on, I’ve gotta go be a spotter,” Caitlin says. “We can talk later, though? Porch tonight?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ashlyn says. She’s had a few porch chats with Caitlin since their first one, and little by little she thinks Caitlin is really started to sort through some things she didn’t even know she’d been dealing with. Sometimes she’ll ask questions that Ashlyn never asked herself until well into college, and her maturity astounds Ashlyn. Mostly she’s just proud of her and happy to see her feeling better.

“So is that like a thing?” Kelley asks Ashlyn quietly, nodding toward Caitlin.

“Is what a thing?” Ashlyn asks.

“The two of them,” she says. “Caitlin and Grace.”

“What?” Ashlyn exclaims. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Oh please,” Kelley says. “You managed to figure out Ali, your gaydar can’t be that off.”

“Kel!” Ashlyn says. “Grace isn’t—they aren’t—” She follows Kelley’s eyes to where Caitlin is now cheering on Grace, and she tilts her head. “Oh my God.”

“There it is,” Kelley says. “Seriously? They’re in your cabin and you haven’t noticed anything?”

“No!” Ashlyn says defensively. “It’s camp, aren’t all camp besties super close?”

“Yeah,” Kelley says. “Alex and I certainly were that close when we were at camp.”

“Shut up,” Ashlyn groans. “Should I be, like, concerned?”

“Maybe you should talk to your co-counselor,” Kelley shrugs.

“But she doesn’t know—” Kelley raises her eyebrows, urging her to finish her thought. “As far as Caitlin knows, I’m the only one who knows she’s… into girls,” she says under her breath. “So don’t tell anyone. I haven’t even told Ali.”

“Girlfriend stuff aside, you really should keep Ali in the loop about your campers,” Kelley says. “I mean, I get that she trusted you with that, but what happens if you have a night off and Ali is there and something happens and she doesn’t know?”

“What could happen?” Ashlyn asks.

“Who knows,” Kelley says. “That’s not important. But counselor communication is like the first thing we learn. You were here for orientation. Though I guess you were busy ogling Ali and figuring out how to make your move.”

“Shut up,” Ashlyn grumbles.

Kelley smiles, elbowing her playfully. “Speaking from experience, though, be open and honest about everything. Because after camp, everything comes out anyway, so if she finds out you knew something about a camper and didn’t tell her, you’ll be in huge trouble.”

“After camp it won’t matter, though, will it?” Ashlyn says, and Kelley’s face changes.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I can’t be in trouble with her after camp,” Ashlyn says. “It’s not like we’re going to be together.”

“Ashlyn…”

“What?”

“Remember how I said counselor communication is really important?” Kelley asks. “Well, I’ve been in a relationship longer than I’ve been a counselor. So I feel confident saying that communication is even more important in a relationship.”

“I mean, obviously I don’t really want to talk about inevitably ending things,” Ashlyn says. “Why can’t we just enjoy the summer while it lasts?”

“Because I don’t think you’re on the same page,” Kelley says. “I don’t think Ali thinks this is just a summer thing. And if that’s what you think, you should have talked about that way before you had sex with her.”

“Don’t scold me for that,” Ashlyn says, her face getting hot.

“I’m not, I’m sorry,” Kelley says. “I know how quickly things can escalate. But you do need to talk about it. Soon. Like now. Because this could be the best summer or the absolute worst when you look back on it, but you can’t be in limbo. And you can’t let Ali think this is something it’s not.”

Ashlyn feels a little sick to her stomach. She’s never seen Kelley quite so serious. Ali said she wouldn’t regret sleeping with her in a month, and Ashlyn had taken that to mean when their fling or relationship or whatever it is ends. And it’s not like Ashlyn hasn’t thought about what happens after summer, but she’s also realistic. Her parents couldn’t keep it together living in the same house, so how does that bode for a long-term long-distance relationship for her?

“Earth to Ashlyn!” Moe calls, and Ashlyn looks up. “I’m ready to go, are you ready to spot?”

“Yeah, you got it,” Ashlyn says.

Moe rolls her eyes playfully. “If I fall and you’re too busy daydreaming about your girlfriend to catch me, I’m so coming back as a ghost to haunt you.”

~

It doesn’t take long for the trash talk to begin at kickball after rest hour is over. Kyle and Ali are wearing the most ridiculous outfits Ashlyn has ever seen, and she’s sure to tell them so. Meanwhile, Ali has to taunt Ashlyn a bit because she’s wearing Penn State shorts she had to borrow from Ali.

The tournament is mostly for the campers, of course, but every team knows its assets as far as counselors go, so Ryan is the pitcher for the gold team while Ali, who’s probably the fastest on the whole staff, is in the outfield, but her soccer foot plus her speed makes her an excellent anchor for their offensive lineup.

On the blue team, however, Alex and Dom are probably the fastest, while Hope has an amazing arm, so Ashlyn just goes where they tell her, realizing there are worse things than being the catcher.

Four innings into the game, the gold team is up 5-4 on runs made by Kyle, two boy campers Ashlyn doesn’t know, Taryn (who Ashlyn has trouble not cheering for), and Whitney (who Ashlyn can’t help but to cheer for). Carli had a grand slam for the blue team, sending three campers and herself into home base, but other than that, the blue team has been struggling.

When Ali finally gets up to kick, Ashlyn seizes the opportunity to trash talk. “Don’t miss, Alex,” she teases, and Ali glares at her warningly before sending the first ball out of bounds. “Foul ball!” she calls. “It’s okay, baby, you still look cute in those ridiculous gold shorts.”

Ali flips her off discreetly as Hope rolls another ball toward her. This one she kicks as hard as she can, and it goes soaring over the outfield as she takes off running. That’s a home run, Ashlyn knows as soon as the ball is off her foot. If that’s what she can do with a kickball, she is scared for when the teams play soccer. Ali runs into home base with her arms up in victory.

“What were you saying about my shorts, Harris?” she teases. “You’re going to pay for that, by the way.”

“Whatever you say, princess,” Ashlyn says with a wink, and Ali scrunches up her nose and glares back.

Ali’s is the only run for her team that inning, and Moe and Tyler both score for the blue, tying up the match in the bottom of the fourth inning. When Ashlyn steps up to kick, she notices Ali move forward in the outfield, and it feels like a challenge. Doesn’t she remember Ashlyn was a goalkeeper? Long distance kicking is one of her specialties.

As if reading her mind (at this point, Ashlyn wouldn’t be surprised), Ali moves back, motioning to her team to instruct them on where to move. On the first pitch, Ashlyn launches the ball way over Ali’s head and takes off running as Ali scrambles for the ball, which only she is possibly fast enough to get. Ashlyn rounds first base and heads for second, and despite every piece of coaching she’s ever gotten to just run and not focus on anything but her target, she turns to where Ali was stationed just to see Ali throw the ball as hard as she can in an attempt to tag Ashlyn out.

Ashlyn grins, knowing she couldn’t possibly throw the ball hard enough to reach her—until it makes contact with her head, knocking her down into the grass. Cap blows her whistle—hard, and all movement comes to a stop.

“Krieger, that’s a warning!” Cap yells, but Ali isn’t paying attention, too focused on getting to Ashlyn before anyone else. Whitney, Cheney and Alex get there first, but Ali pushes past them.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Ali asks, crouching down beside Ashlyn. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit your head.” She brushes back Ashlyn’s hair, and Ashlyn rolls over, squinting up at her with the sun in her eyes. There are grass stains on her forehead, which Ali brushes away, but she’s fine otherwise.

“Sure you did,” Ashlyn grumbles. “You told me I’d pay for what I said.”

“I was kidding,” Ali says, and she looks like she might cry. “I swear I didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” Ashlyn laughs. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just help me up?” She extends her arm, and Ali pulls her up with the help of Cheney. “Oh, nice,” she says when she looks down and both her knees are bleeding. “Anyone got a First Aid kit?”

“A Rod is up at the infirmary,” Cheney says. “I can take you up there if you want.”

“What are there, sixty counselors out here and nobody has a First Aid kit?” Ashlyn laughs. “Nice work, everyone.”

“Mine’s in the cabin,” Ali says. “But the infirmary is closer. I’ll walk with you.”

“I can walk myself, it’s fine,” Ashlyn says. “You have fun.” She can tell from looking in Ali’s eyes, though, that she feels guilty for causing it, so she doesn’t argue when Ali starts walking alongside her. Press high fives her as she walks off, then runs to take her spot at second, where Ashlyn would have automatically been safe.

“Press is fast, she’ll get a run,” Ali says when they’re safely away from the game. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know it wasn’t on purpose,” Ashlyn says. “And I’m just a little bumped and bruised. Then again, has your face always been so blurry?” she asks, tilting from side to side as she walks. Ali looks horrified until Ashlyn laughs.

“That’s not funny!” Ali exclaims, hitting her shoulder. “I’ve had concussions before, they’re no joke.”

“Think about that next time you lob a kickball at someone’s face, then,” Ashlyn says. “You’re lucky I didn’t lose teeth.”

“I know,” Ali whines. “You’re not going to let me live this down, will you?”

“Not a chance,” Ashlyn says. “Wait, help me make sure everything’s in working order, please.” She leans down for a kiss, catching Ali off guard. “How was that?”

“Hmm,” Ali muses. “Seems good. A little grassy, but not bad. Let me just double check though.” She stands on her tiptoes and kisses her again, deeper this time. “Oh yeah, you’re totally fine.”

“Good,” Ashlyn says. “Then I guess I can forgive you.”

When they get to the infirmary, A Rod is expecting them after a call on her walkie talkie from Cap.

“Ali, wasn’t that kind of flirting supposed to end after third grade?” she teases, patting one of the cots for Ashlyn to sit on. She disinfects her scrapes, making Ashlyn wince, but Ali sits beside her and squeezes her hand, and it’s pretty much all worth it for that. She puts gauze and bandages over each knee before clapping her hands together. “There you go, all set.” She looks up at Ashlyn and cringes. “Yikes, actually let me get you some ice for that bump on your forehead. It’s going to bruise, but it shouldn’t hurt too much after today. Do you have ibuprofen in your cabin?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says, and Ali grimaces. “Oh shit, we aren’t supposed to, are we?”

“Your secret is safe with me,” A Rod says. “Trust me, I’d prefer you give it to your campers illegally when they have cramps or a headache instead of paging me at midnight.”

“Noted,” Ashlyn says. She squeezes Ali’s knee because Ali still looks a little guilty about the whole thing. When A Rod walks out of the room, Ashlyn kisses Ali on the cheek. “Cheer up, buttercup,” she says. “It really doesn’t hurt, and it’s buying me some alone time with you. Hey… was that your plan all along?”

Ali shakes her head, smiling, and leans against Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I might have gotten a little competitive.”

“A little?” Ashlyn laughs. “If it were anyone else, you would have let it go.”

“Maybe,” Ali says. “Hey, how was high ropes by the way?”

“Good,” Ashlyn says. She considers telling Ali about the spider she saw on the final obstacle and how she had practically sprinted to avoid it and how one of the campers got it on video, but then she thinks about what Kelley said. “Actually, I have to tell you something. About one of the girls.”

“Okay,” Ali says, sitting up. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ashlyn says. “It’s just, remember like a week or so ago when I was on the porch with Caitlin? And you know how we’ve been sort of bonding lately?”

“Yeah,” Ali says slowly, her eyes narrowing.

“She asked me not to tell anyone, but you’re her counselor too, and I think she’d be okay with you knowing if she knew, you know, about us,” Ashlyn says. “She’s gay. I mean, she didn’t tell me that. She likes girls. I don’t know how she identifies. But yeah.”

“Oh,” Ali says. “Okay. That’s—yeah, thanks for telling me.”

“And at high ropes, Kelley said something, and… I think she and Grace might be having a thing.”

“What?” Ali exclaims. “No way. No way!”

“I don’t know for sure,” Ashlyn says. “And I don’t want to gossip, I just want you to know what’s going on in the cabin.”

“Of course,” Ali says. “Wow. Weird. I mean, cool. But… wow.”

Ashlyn takes a deep breath. “Kelley also said—I don’t know how to—”

“Okay, now you’re freaking me out,” Ali says. “Is it your head or are you about to tell me something I don’t want to hear?”

“It’s not my head,” Ashlyn says. Ali nods slowly. So the latter then. “I know we said we’d figure it out, and I know you said you wanted to be my girlfriend, but what are we doing? Really, what are we doing?”

“It seems obvious to me,” Ali says, a little confused. “We’re… together? We’re dating? We’re… having sex?” She whispers the last part, and Ashlyn can’t help but smile.

“So what happens in five weeks?” Ashlyn asks.

Ali stares straight ahead at the white wall in front of them. She knew this moment would come, but she wasn’t expecting it so soon. “I don’t know,” she says quietly. “Can’t we figure it out then?”

“No,” Ashlyn says. “We can’t. I’m not going to waste your summer if we aren’t on the same page.”

“But you’d be fine wasting my summer otherwise.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Don’t pretend this is about me, Ashlyn,” Ali says, her voice barely above a whisper. “When summer ends, you’re going to go back to school and continue to go out every weekend screwing whoever, and I’ll go back to Penn State and probably unfollow you on Instagram because I’ll be fine eventually, but in the meantime I don’t need to see other girls who get to have you when I don’t.”

“Nice to know you think so highly of me,” Ashlyn scoffs. “Listen, when you said you were ready to kiss me, I was on board. When you said the word ‘girlfriend,’ I was all about it. When you snapped your fingers and wanted to have sex with me, I was ready and willing. This has never been about me.”

“Well God, sorry if I’ve made you so miserable,” Ali says. “Here I was thinking that you actually wanted all those things too.”

“I did,” Ashlyn says. “I do. I’m just saying, I didn’t do any of that for me. You have no idea how happy I am to have met you and to be doing whatever this is with you. You’re incredible and beautiful and special and all the things I’d ever want in a relationship, which is why I want to know what it is.”

“What do you want it to be?” Ali asks.

“I want you to be happy!” Ashlyn exclaims, not really answering the question. “I keep telling myself you just need to blow off steam, you just need a summer fling, I’m just happy to be along for the ride while it lasts, but I’m not convincing myself. But I need to know if I need to be prepared to be heartbroken at the end of the summer.”

Ali is quiet, but her hand finds Ashlyn’s, and she turns to see Ashlyn looking back at her. She’s never seen Ashlyn look anything but confident, and right now she looks the opposite. She’s vulnerable and worried and all sorts of things Ali never knew she could be.

“Summer is going to end in heartbreak,” Ali says quietly. “It always does. There really isn’t any pain greater than leaving this place and these people after eight weeks of being surrounded by them and then having to go back to the real world.” She squeezes Ashlyn’s hand, which is trembling, and Ashlyn is looking at the floor. “It would be reckless and irresponsible to add another heartbreak to the mix.”

Ashlyn looks back up at Ali, whose eyes are misty, but she’s smiling.

“If anyone’s going to break anyone’s heart, ball’s in your court,” Ali says. “Because I’m definitely not going to be the one to cut this off because of something stupid like distance. What is it, a three hour flight between UNC and Penn State? I’m already going to be losing the summer, I don’t think I could stand to lose you too.”

Ashlyn doesn’t say anything, but she wraps her arms around Ali’s shoulders and kisses her, softly at first, but she deepens it when Ali’s hands find Ashlyn’s hair. When she pulls away, Ali bites her lip, so innocent that it’s seductive, and Ashlyn grins.

“I can honestly say that is the last thing I expected you to say,” Ashlyn says. “That’s why I haven’t brought it up. I was terrified.”

“You would have rather just gotten to the end of the summer and had it end without any warning?” Ali laughs.

“At least I would have had you for that long,” Ashlyn says.

“You can have me for as long as you want me,” Ali promises.

~

It's an uncharacteristically cool night for the beginning of July, so Ashlyn wraps herself in her favorite fluffy blanket when she goes out to the porch to talk with Caitlin.

Grace is out there with her, and she smiles at Ashlyn when she walks out. “Feeling better?” she asks, and Ashlyn nods, knowing full well the bruise peeking out from her hairline says otherwise.

“Yeah, Ali’s a bad sport,” Ashlyn jokes. “No worries, I set her straight.” The irony of her wording is not lost on her.

“I'm going to go take a shower,” Grace says, excusing herself. Caitlin must have told her Ashlyn would be stealing her time.

“Nothing like a good friend to cure any case of homesickness,” Ashlyn says.

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “She's not- like, I guess I can tell you this now. I had a crush on her, that's what was making me so miserable the first few weeks.”

“And now?” Ashlyn asks.

“Now, we’re… She's my…”

“Gotcha,” Ashlyn says.

“I know we’re in the same cabin and there are probably rules,” Caitlin says. Ashlyn bites her tongue, wanting so badly to tell her about Ali, but she knows she needs to get Ali’s permission for that.

“It's okay,” Ashlyn says. “I mean, if there are rules, I don't know about them. It’s safe with me.”

“Okay,” Caitlin says. “Thanks for always being there for me. I didn't even know how much I needed someone.”

“We never do,” Ashlyn says. “Having a support system is great. Just make sure you're never relying on someone so much that if they fail you, you break.”

“I won't,” Caitlin says confidently, but Ashlyn knows even the best intentions can go awry when you fall so hard so fast.

~

In the middle of the night, Ashlyn awakes suddenly with the worst pain she’s ever felt in her stomach. When she stands up to go to the bathroom, it feels like knives are stabbing her in her lower stomach and back, and by the time she drinks water and takes ibuprofen, she feels like she’s actually dying.

“Alex,” she whispers, hunched over Ali’s bed. Ali opens her eyes slowly, but when she sees Ashlyn’s face, she wakes up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. “Is your head okay?”

“It’s my stomach,” Ashlyn whines, but she tries to keep it to a whisper. “When I fell earlier I got the wind knocked out of me, but I felt fine once I could breathe again. Now it’s like the worst cramps I’ve ever had, but I’m not supposed to get my period for another week.”

“Oh, baby,” Ali says, sitting up. “I should have been expecting this.”

“What?” Ashlyn asks, her voice getting louder with slight panic. “Expecting what?”

Ali laughs. She fucking laughs! “Honey,” she says, her voice dripping with pity. “You’re syncing up.”

“Excuse me?”

“It happens to new people every summer,” Ali says. “I mean, a lot of us grew up together and got our first periods together, so we tend to stay on the same cycle. And being around the same girls all the time makes you start to… well, sync. Unfortunately, it hits newer people a lot harder. But you’re in luck, because I brought a heating pad for this exact reason.”

Ali eases herself out of bed and pulls a heating pad out from a box under her bed. She plugs it in and pats her bed so Ashlyn can get in. Ali crawls in after her, making sure the heating pad is placed where it should be underneath Ashlyn’s lower back.

“You’ll feel better soon,” she says, putting the back of her hand to Ashlyn’s forehead, which is warm, but not burning up. Ashlyn whimpers when Ali’s warm hand finds its way under her shirt to rest on her belly, rubbing gentle circles over the source of the pain. She kisses Ashlyn’s cheek and nuzzles into her shoulder till Ashlyn falls asleep, making sure to stay awake to unplug the heating pad and relocate to Ashlyn’s bed.

No matter how much she wants to stay in her own and wake up beside Ashlyn, she also wants Ashlyn to sleep soundly and comfortably… especially because she plans on waking her up first thing in the morning to run. Exercise is good for cramps, and endorphins are good for PMS, and Ashlyn will need both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions!  
> 1\. Favorite line(s)?  
> 2\. Predictions for the next chapter? (There's a hint _super_ early in the second to last scene)  
>  3\. How did you feel about Ali and Ashlyn's conversation?  
> 4\. Did anything surprise you in this chapter?


	9. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali and Ashlyn celebrate the Fourth of July in the only acceptable way: with lots and lots of fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those overly fluffy (but completely necessary) chapters, which made it a teeeeensy bit difficult to write (more than a teensy bit). So I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you all have your seatbelts on for the next few chapters ;)
> 
> (Tuesday, July 4)

Ashlyn is surprised when she wakes up to a soft voice instead of the alarm sound that normally rouses her.

"Morning, angel," Ali murmurs, brushing the hair from Ashlyn's face. She's dressed in workout clothes with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, but she's not sweating, which can mean only one thing.

"Dream on, Krieger," Ashlyn groans, burying her face in the pillow.

"Come on, babe," Ali pleads. "The girls will be up soon and I want to hang out with you before the festivities start."

The festivities, of course, are the Fourth of July traditions the camp maintains every year. It's all hands on deck because all of junior camp starts the day at the pool for the whole morning while senior camp spends the morning out on the sports fields playing games. Then there’s lunch before the age groups switch. At night, the whole camp comes together for a huge cookout on The Hill, which is (according to all the veterans) the best dinner of the summer except for visiting day and the last night of camp, and of course fireworks.

“Hanging out is fine,” Ashlyn says. “Running is not.”

“But you’d be running with me,” Ali whines.

“Exactly,” Ashlyn says. “You’ve never run with yourself. It’s a nightmare.”

“You’re also in my bed, and you can have fun explaining that one to the girls when they wake up.”

“You mean by telling them the real story?” Ashlyn asks. “About period cramps and heating pads?”

“Believable,” Ali says. “Mostly because it’s true. But I have a feeling Moe will think it’s fishy.”

“Fine,” Ashlyn groans. “But you have to go slow. Remember, I’m injured because of you.” Ali smiles because she’s won and kisses Ashlyn on the forehead. “Hey,” Ashlyn whines, pouting her lips. “Give me a real one.”

“Get up and brush your teeth and I’ll see what I can do,” Ali teases.

~

Ashlyn will never admit it because it would satisfy Ali too greatly, but the run actually does make her feel better. Camp is already decorated for the day, and red and blue streamers adorn the fence around the pool, which makes Ashlyn giddy. Well, it’s either that or hanging out with Ali.

They are together at breakfast, laughing over coffee, when Cap asks Ali if she would mind helping out with the kids at the pool. She doesn’t miss the look between Ashlyn and Ali, though, and she rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Only because it’s a holiday,” she says. “Can you both help?”

Of course they agree, and Ali is rewarded with the sight of Ashlyn swimming and playing with the kids, her pain and whininess long forgotten. Ali sits on the edge of the pool with Alex, Syd, and Cheney, her feet dangling in the water, as Ashlyn swims around with Rylie, who’s screeching with glee, on her back.

“Obsessed much?” Syd says, and Ali whips her head around to face her. “She’s half dressed as it is, I keep expecting her bathing suit to just melt off from your stare.” Ali turns bright red.

“Stop,” she says. “I like her.”

“No kidding,” Cheney says. “A Rod told me how gross you two were being yesterday.”

“What?” Ali exclaims. “No we weren’t! I mean, she left—” She blushes when she remembers A Rod conveniently walking in moments after her conversation with Ashlyn, which ended in a series of kisses. “Whatever.”

“I think it’s cute,” Alex says. “But like, I’ve never been equally good friends with two sides of a relationship, so please don’t break up and make me choose.”

“Never,” Ali says. “I mean make you choose. But hopefully we won’t break up anytime soon either.”

“So, you’re like… doing this?” Cheney asks. “I mean, I guess there’s plenty of time to change your mind before the end of the summer, but—”

“No, we talked about it,” Ali says adamantly. “We’re going to make it work somehow.”

“No offense, Kriegs, but you’ve been together like two weeks,” Syd says. “You’re cute together, and I know you’re obsessed with each other, but just don’t let yourself get tied down to a decision. It’ll just make it that much harder if you do change your mind.”

Everyone just stares at Syd, wordlessly reminding her that she literally moved across the Atlantic Ocean to move in with Dom after eight weeks of summer camp. She rolls her eyes. Point taken.

~

Ashlyn is taking a break from her role as seahorse and/or submarine in the kids’ make-believe pool games to relax on some red, white and blue pool noodles with Kelley and Alex, who are trying to dunk each other after Kelley “accidentally” splashed Alex, who was trying to keep her hair dry. They come to a truce eventually, pinky promising not to do it anymore.

“So I heard Kel’s meddling worked,” Alex says. “I also heard Ali tried to kill you.”

“Both true,” Ashlyn says. “I survived long enough for her to realize she can’t live without me, hence Kelley’s advice.”

“I’m sure,” Kelley says, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad you two are actually talking instead of just eye-fucking and actual fucking, though.”

“Kelley!” Alex admonishes. “There are tiny ears.”

“There are always tiny ears,” Kelley says. “There are tiny ears when you talk in your sleep while having sex dreams and when you take late showers after the campers go to bed, too.”

Alex turns red. “I hate you.”

“No, you love me,” Kelley corrects her.

“Back to Ashlyn,” Alex says. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. “Obviously I’m happy, but the concept of long-distance relationships freaks me out.”

“That makes sense,” Alex says. “Besides camp, Kel and I were long distance for, what, like three years?” Kelley nods. “It’s a weird adjustment. We were 15 or 16 so we kind of dealt with less of that because we had to focus on stuff like family and graduating high school, but that plus the time difference made it difficult.”

“Yeah, but you did it,” Ashlyn says.

“Oh yeah, it’s totally doable,” Kelley says. “Especially if your girlfriend is as hot as mine.”

“Have you seen Ali?” Ashlyn jokes.

“Don’t answer that,” Alex warns Kelley.

Kelley lifts her hands in surrender. “If you ever need to talk, we’re here. That’s all.”

“Thanks,” Ashlyn says, feeling a pair of arms snake around her waist from behind. “Is it a sea monster?” she asks.

“Rude,” Ali says, and Ashlyn laughs, turning around to see her girlfriend.

“Oops, I thought you were one of the kids,” she says.

“I know my arms have lost some definition, but I’m hurt,” Ali pouts. “What were you talking about?”

“Kelley was just saying how hot you are and I was threatening her life,” Ashlyn says.

“Well I just wanted to see if you were ready to go back to the cabin,” Ali says. “All the kids are about to go back to their cabins to change into dry clothes before lunch, which gives us like 45 minutes of uninterrupted alone time.”

“I have to go to the waterfront and take care of some things before lunch,” Ashlyn says, frowning. It’s hard to maintain her straight face when Ali’s jaw literally drops. “I know, your thing sounds way better. But go back to the cabin and change, it’s fine. I’ll see you at lunch.”

Ali bites the inside of her lip. “I’ll come with you,” she says.

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn asks. “I’m literally just going to be organizing life jackets and stuff in the shed.”

“Yeah, of course,” Ali says. “It’s like our one day of camp that we get to spend the whole day together, I want to hang out with you.”

“If you insist,” Ashlyn says, hoisting herself out of the pool. She smiles while her back is turned to Ali, somehow managing to go back to a normal face when she turns back around. Everything is going exactly as she planned.

~

Ashlyn watches Ali’s face carefully as they walk and talk all the way to the waterfront, but if she suspects anything, she doesn’t show it. Ashlyn opens the door to the shed, and when they walk in, Ali looks around, confused.

“Did Whit beat you to it?” she asks. “It looks perfectly clean to me.”

Ashlyn shrugs. “I may have made that up,” she says, walking toward the safe in the back. She turns the dial to unlock it and grabs a pair of keys, holding them up to dangle in front of Ali’s face. “Don’t I owe you a boat ride?” Ali’s smile is worth every ounce of guilt Ashlyn felt for lying to her even for a minute.

~

“This is bad,” Ali mumbles against Ashlyn’s lips. “Very bad.”

“You’re drunk,” Ashlyn says. “Very drunk.”

“I had one glass of wine!” Ali says. “You’re the one who brought it to camp.” She stretches her arms over her head as the sun beats down on the boat, which is anchored by a little beach about a quarter mile from the camp’s docks.

Ashlyn had Whitney and Ryan stop at the store on their night off two days ago and get her supplies for a surprise picnic with Ali, which they successfully did (“like a secret mission!” per Ryan), storing the supplies in a cooler inside the boat. It included oranges, Nutty Bars, and all the makings of a PB&J, some of Ali’s favorite childhood snacks. And a bottle of wine, of course. Ashlyn hadn’t thought to remind them to buy glasses, though, so she and Ali took turns swigging from the bottle.

Ashlyn can honestly say she has never gotten someone out of a one-piece bathing suit, nor has she ever had sex on a boat, nor has she ever really understood why people use the phrase “make love.” At least before today. There’s a first time for everything.

“You’re beautiful,” Ashlyn murmurs, changing the subject as she captures Ali’s lips once more. “So beautiful. So mine.”

“Again,” Ali says, her hips grinding against Ashlyn’s weakly. She’s fully dressed again, wearing standard khaki shorts and a Camp Cedar Falls T-shirt, her bathing suit dry underneath thanks to the sun. “I want more.”

“I can’t keep up with your stamina, soccer star,” Ashlyn says. “We have to get back.” She kisses Ali again before reluctantly sitting up to get back behind the wheel of the boat and reeling in the anchor.

“Can I drive?” Ali asks. “I’ve never gotten to.”

“You can be my co-pilot,” Ashlyn says, backing off the wheel. “Come here.”

Ali stands behind the wheel, and Ashlyn stands behind her, putting her hands on it. “Okay, put your hands right above mine. Good.”

“I do know how to drive a car,” Ali says, and Ashlyn laughs.

“It’s a little different,” she says. It isn’t, not really, there are just a few things you have to get used to, but it might take someone two minutes tops to learn those things. She just wants an excuse to be this close to Ali as long as she can.

Ashlyn hits the gas, and Ali shrieks as the boat takes off. “Slow down,” Ali laughs. Ashlyn’s hands cover hers, helping her steer, and Ali turns around to look at Ashlyn, smile wide on her face.

“Eyes on the water,” Ashlyn says in a stern voice, but Ali puckers her lips and Ashlyn is powerless, granting her a kiss. Luckily there isn’t too much they can hit in the water.

~

When the sun goes down, all the campers settle on blankets and towels on the grassy hill. The senior campers all group up with their best friends or romantic interests while all the junior campers, who are rubbing their eyes and fighting to stay awake after a long day filled with excitement, find their favorite counselors and settle into their laps.

A six-year-old girl named Molly snuggles into Ali while Ashlyn sits cross-legged with Molly’s twin brother, Kevin, in her lap. They are both sleepy but pretending to be wide awake, and when the fireworks start, Ashlyn hugs Kevin tighter, wishing her arms were around Ali.

Molly buries her face into Ali’s chest when the fireworks start, the loud noises scaring her, but Ali speaks softly to her, coaxing her into looking at the beautiful lights in the sky. Ashlyn wants to look, but fireworks are all the same, and to be honest, they can get old, especially when your other option is to look at Ali Krieger.

Ali turns her eyes to meet Ashlyn’s and smiles. “I have to go to the restroom,” she says, moving Molly off her lap. She looks at Ashlyn as she stands, brushing the grass off her legs. “Ash, don’t you need to go too?”

“No, I’m good,” Ashlyn says, but then Ali glares, and she knows that was the wrong answer. “I mean, yeah I could go.” She stands and follows Ali toward the closest bathroom, which is the one in the arts and crafts building.

When they get to the door, however, Ali doesn’t go in, instead leading Ashlyn behind the building, where there’s a bench. “I don’t have to go to the bathroom,” Ali says, sitting down. “I just couldn’t imagine watching those fireworks right next to you without kissing you.”

“Why is it that you know all the best secret places to make out?” Ashlyn laughs, kissing Ali as she sits beside her.

“Not my first rodeo,” Ali says.

“Ouch.”

“Kissing you here under the fireworks is much better,” Ali promises.

“Did you have a good day?” Ashlyn murmurs, kissing her forehead.

Ali nods. “The best,” she says. “Thank you.”

“It just means the pressure is on for your birthday, huh?” Ashlyn says. “I’ve got to figure out something that will beat this. I can’t promise fireworks, though.”

“There are fireworks every time you kiss me,” Ali murmurs before laughing. “That was so cheesy.”

“A little bit,” Ashlyn agrees.

“Having the weekend off and getting to spend it all with you is going to be a good start,” Ali says. “I’m just a little annoyed we’ll have to be clothed. At least outside of my room.”

“Small sacrifices,” Ashlyn says. “I’ll try to keep you behind closed doors as much as I can.”

“I’m very in demand,” Ali says. “Our friends might stage a mutiny.”

“Maybe,” Ashlyn says. “I’m excited for it. Almost as excited as I am to kick your ass in soccer next weekend.” Cap announced the rest of the color war schedule at the cookout this evening, and when she announced the counselor soccer game, Ali’s eyes had lit up. They had never done a counselors-only game, but after years of Ali, Carli, Kyle, and Tobin begging for one (and making the campers’ games overly competitive), she finally gave in.

“If you’re going to keep on sleeping through my morning runs, I’d be awfully surprised if you can keep up,” Ali says. “Besides, isn’t Hope on your team? You know she’s like always goalkeeper, right? Good luck getting her to step down.”

“I’ll play forward then,” Ashlyn teases. “I’m pretty sure I could get behind the other team’s defense with a wink and a smile.”

“Please,” Ali says. “You wish.”

“What are you willing to bet?” Ashlyn asks. “If your team loses to mine.”

“You mean now that we’ve finally both satisfied our last bet?” Ali laughs. “Took you long enough. Okay. When my team wins, you let me have my bed back.”

“You’re always welcome to sleep in it,” Ashlyn says, her hand finding Ali’s thigh. “But fine. Let’s go with that. And if you lose, you have to enter open mic night.”

“Doing what?”

Ashlyn shrugs. “I can think of a few talents you have, but I don’t think any of those will work. We’ll figure something out. Besides, you never lose, right?”

“Never ever,” Ali says, leaning back in for another kiss, this one slower and deeper. She pulls back when she hears hushed voices, but Ashlyn doesn’t hear them, pulling her back in for another just as two figures turn the corner.

“Ashlyn?” a voice says quietly, and Ashlyn pulls away, eyes wide as she sees Caitlin enter the light, Grace behind her. Her heart races, not because of being caught, but because of Ali being caught.

“Hey,” Ashlyn says, but her attention is on Ali, whose eyes are squeezed shut as if it won’t be real if she doesn’t open her eyes. “What are you guys doing?”

“Probably same as you,” Caitlin says knowingly. Ali opens her eyes and turns, smiling tightly. “You two—you’re like…”

Ashlyn stands up in an effort to block and protect Ali. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Caitlin asks, and the hurt in her voice is clear. “I told you so much. I told you everything.”

“Caitlin,” Ashlyn sighs, but Caitlin has already turned to walk away, leaving Grace behind. “I’ll be back,” she says to Ali, who stands and nods, folding her arms across her chest in worry.

“What’s going on?” Grace asks Ali quietly, and Ali just shakes her head.

“Um, Ashlyn and I—”

“Yeah, I got that much,” Grace laughs. “I knew Ashlyn was. I mean, Cait told me. But you—”

“I don’t think she knew either,” Ali says. “Ashlyn didn’t tell her. Then again, Ashlyn didn’t tell me about you.”

Grace smiles shyly, tucking a strand of sun-streaked blonde hair behind her ear. “Nobody really knows,” she says. “I mean, even I don’t know what I— I don’t know. It might seem weird, but it’s kind of cool to know my counselors are lesbians.”

“I’m not,” Ali says quickly, almost feeling guilt about how fast she feels she has to clarify. “I don’t really, um, I don’t really label myself.”

“But you two are together?” Grace asks.

“Yes,” Ali says, and this she feels more confident in. “But obviously it’s not necessarily common knowledge. At least among campers. So just—if we could keep this between us for now.”

“Duh,” Grace says. “Now those Instagrams of you two together make way more sense.” Ali laughs. “Have you always—I mean, you said you don’t label yourself, but when did you know? How did you know?”

“It’s kind of obvious,” Ali laughs. “I mean, with Ashlyn I was attracted to her off the bat, but I’ve always admired women and had crushes. It’s more complicated for me I think because I’ve also liked men.”

“Me too,” Grace says quietly. “Can I tell you, like, about Cait? I mean, is that against the rules of things we can talk about?”

“Of course you can,” Ali says, sitting back down and patting the spot beside her. “You can tell me anything. It’ll stay between us.”

“Good,” Grace says. “You have no idea what a relief this is. I haven’t talked to anyone but Cait about it, and it’s kind of lonely. I thought about telling Kelley or Alex, but I don’t really know them well enough.”

“You can talk to any of us,” Ali says. “I promise they’d feel the same way.”

Grace nods her understanding. “She liked me last summer,” she says. “I mean, that’s what she told me. And we’ve been in the same cabin since we were 10, so I just thought we were best friends, you know? But I think our friendship was a lot stronger than the rest of the girls. And then after Christmas, all the girls came to visit me in New York. We stayed at my grandparents’ penthouse in Manhattan and watched the ball drop on New Year’s. We had been… drinking, a bit. Mostly champagne, but other stuff too, so by midnight, things were a little fuzzy.”

“A little?” Ali laughs. These girls are like 16, after all.

“A lot,” Grace concedes. “At midnight, she kissed me. We were on the balcony and everyone else was inside, so nobody saw, but I—I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. So I kind of avoided her. For a long time. It was wrong, I know, but I was kind of scared.”

“I can understand that,” Ali says. “So what happened?”

“I apologized, but it was probably too late,” Grace says. “When we got our letters from camp, you know, the ones that say who’s in our cabin. It’s not like it was a surprise, I mean, cabins stick together, we had all requested each other. I guess I was just surprised that she was coming back after everything. I texted her. I know, stupid.”

“I’ve sent my fair share of stupid texts,” Ali says. “Trust me.”

“She said it was fine, but I knew it wasn’t,” Grace says. “So we kind of minded our own business and stayed away from each other for a few weeks. But then one day it was like something just changed, and suddenly she was talking to me, and we’d sit together at lunch and set up our blankets together at rest hour. And then one day at campfire, we snuck off—sorry—and she kissed me.” She stops, like she’s gathering her thoughts.

“And was that okay with you?” Ali asks.

“Yeah,” Grace says. “I guess I had been hoping she would. To give me a second chance, I don’t know. I didn’t want to be the one to do it in case she had changed her mind or something. But then she did, and it was perfect, and I knew I wanted it just as much as she did.”

“What is ‘it?’” Ali asks. “The kiss? A relationship?”

“I don’t know, everything,” Grace says. “It just makes sense, you know? She’s like my best friend, and she’s beautiful, and I love her.” She notices the way Ali’s eyebrows raise at her wording. “I know it sounds crazy and fast, but I loved her as my best friend, why wouldn’t I love her as my girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Ali says, smiling. “Well, I’m glad you’re figuring it out. I wish I were half as sure of myself when I was your age.”

“I have no idea most of the time,” Grace says. “I’m not sure what happens when I go home, when I have to tell people, what’s going to happen to us. Sometimes I’m not sure who I am. But I’m sure about her.”

“That’s the most important thing,” Ali says quietly, and so much of her relates to Grace’s struggle, but more than anything, she relates to her adoration for her girlfriend. “And I’m here for you. And so is Ashlyn, I guarantee.” She hugs Grace, rubbing her back. “Thanks for telling me all that.”

“Thanks for listening,” Grace says, her icy blue eyes reflecting the fireworks as she looks up. “I should probably find Cait.”

“I’m right here,” Caitlin says as she and Ashlyn turn the corner. They both seem in higher spirits than before.

“You two should stay here,” Ali says. “Just not too long. We’ll see you back at the cabin.” She smiles up at Ashlyn as she approaches, taking her hand and kissing her cheek once more before they return to The Hill. She’s not sure if it’s something about the conversation she just had with Grace or the feeling of awe that always comes from the Fourth of July, but she feels like she’s looking at Ashlyn with brand new eyes. “Come on, let’s watch some more fireworks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and I would love to hear your feedback :) I hope this shed a little more light on Caitlin and Grace and why their relationship isn't quite as "rushed" as some people may have thought ;) Trust me, there's a method to my madness, and I'm all about realism (well, for the most part, I do take some liberties... teehee). And I hope everyone was pleased to FINALLY see Ashlyn get that darn boat ride!!!
> 
> Questions~~~  
> 1\. Favorite line(s)?  
> 2\. Favorite part of their day?  
> 3\. I mentioned a few things in this chapter that will be on the horizon for the next few chapters (and I technically did—however briefly—mention something preettttyy big that's happening next chapter)... What are you excited to see? Any predictions? :)  
> 4\. What's your favorite Fourth of July tradition? And if you don't live in the U.S., what's your favorite summer tradition :)
> 
> Thanks so much for your kind words and support!


	10. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Visiting Day, but meeting Ali's parents may be the least of Ashlyn's worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving for those of you in the United States! I'm so thankful for all of you and your amazing feedback and support :) ENJOY!
> 
> (Friday, July 7 - Saturday, July 8)

On the day before Visiting Day, the girls in Springs Lodge spend their rest hour cleaning the cabin from top to bottom in preparation for the arrival of all their parents.

“Alex, have you seen the Clorox for the shower?” Ashlyn asks.

“I think it’s in the closet on the back porch,” Ali says, hard at work organizing all the girls’ beauty supplies into cubbies. She knows it’s useless because they’ll all use their makeup and hair stuff tomorrow morning anyway, but it makes her feel better to at least give everything a place.

Ashlyn walks to the back porch to find Grace and Caitlin sitting side-by-side in the hammock, tears streaming down Grace’s face. “What’s going on?” Ashlyn asks, looking between them. Caitlin has a comforting arm around Grace, but Ashlyn’s presence almost seems to make Grace cry harder.

Caitlin looks at Grace as if to ask for permission. “Tell her,” Grace says.

“We had—we have been planning on telling our parents tomorrow,” Caitlin says. “About us.”

“Oh,” Ashlyn says. “That’s big.” She sits down on the bench. “Second thoughts, I’m guessing?”

“More for her than me,” Caitlin says. “Ryan knows, and I know he’ll have my back if anything goes wrong with my parents, but I just don’t think they’ll be upset.”

“But yours would be?” Ashlyn asks Grace gently.

Grace shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she says. “They’ve never seemed to have a problem with… with gay people,” she says, and her body trembles as she tries to hold back the tears. “But I’m their only child, I don’t want to let them down. Like what if they’re only okay with it in theory?”

Ashlyn nods. “I understand,” she says. “I was scared too.”

“So how did you do it?” Caitlin asks.

“Well, I didn’t for a while,” Ashlyn says. “But in my senior year of high school I had a girlfriend, and it suddenly became very real, and I couldn’t hide it. I don’t know that I would have done it if it weren’t for that. I think a lot of the time it’s easier for parents to accept a real person than some intangible idea that you might like girls.”

“My parents love her,” Grace says. “I just… besides you guys and Ali, I haven’t talked to anyone about it.”

“Do you think that would help?” Ashlyn asks.

“Maybe,” Grace says. “I don’t know.”

“Do you mind if I go get Ali?” Ashlyn asks.

Grace shakes her head. “That’s fine,” she says, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

Ashlyn walks inside to discreetly pull Ali away, and when they walk back out, Ali looks concerned.

“Are you okay?” she asks, rushing to sit where Ashlyn had been before. Ashlyn takes a seat next to her.

Grace takes a deep breath before explaining everything, Ali nodding along and humming sympathetically. When she finishes, Ali looks at Ashlyn, who seems to know what she’s thinking already and nods.

“I have an idea,” Ali says. “And you can say no, but it might make things easier tomorrow. But remember, if you don’t feel safe or comfortable, you don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to.”

Caitlin squeezes Grace’s hand, and Grace nods. “Shoot.”

~

The rest of the afternoon goes off without a hitch, and it isn’t till the girls have all returned from their evening activity that the plan goes into action.

“Hey guys,” Ali says once all the girls are out of the shower and ready for bed. “You know what we haven’t done all summer?” All the girls look around, trying to figure out what they’ve forgotten. Ali looks serious, but she breaks into a smile. “A trust circle.”

Trust circles are a camp tradition, mostly among cabins, starting usually in middle school when they first start getting crushes and wanting to talk about them. Ali’s been their counselor (or CIT) since the very beginning, so it’s especially a tradition with these girls. Sometimes things come out about family issues or internal struggles, but usually it’s relationship gossip and girly bonding, and most importantly, it stays within the circle. No exceptions.

“We know everything about each other by now,” Taryn laughs.

“Oh, come on,” Ali says, rolling her eyes. “You mean to tell me nothing has changed in the past year? Plus, Ashlyn is new.”

“Only if you promise to tell us what really happened with Tyler,” Rachel says.

“Fine,” Ali says. “Now are you guys going to help me push the bunks together or not?”

Moe springs into action, pushing her bed toward Michelle’s, and all the girls help until all five camper bunk beds are pushed together and all the girls are sitting cross-legged in a big circle on them.

Ali dumps a big bag of candy she picked up at the staff lounge after dinner with this in mind, and all the girls lunge for their favorite candy bars.

“Any volunteers?” Ali says. “Make it good to set the stage for Ash.”

“I’ll go,” Bethany says. “Some of you already know, but I lost my virginity to Peter.”

“What?” Laura gasps. “No way, when? Details!”

“God, it’s so cliche,” Bethany groans. “It was prom night, and it was… awkward, but really nice.”

“Lucky,” Moe says. “It’s usually not.”

“Moe, do you have something to share?” Ali teases.

Moe rolls her eyes. “Not like it’s a shock to anyone, but I’ve been hooking up with Eric.”

“Hooking up as in…” Ashlyn says, and Ali smacks her knee, shaking her head in admonishment.

“Making out,” Moe says. “But I’ll keep you guys updated after campout.”

One of the best camp traditions is campout, when all of senior camp literally camps out in tents off campus. During that weekend, the CITs always go on a trip to Hershey Park, where they stay in hotels and everyone always ends up hooking up. Even though they hadn’t had sex at the time, that’s when Ali and Tyler really started their relationship.

“I’ll go,” Ali says after a brief pause. Ashlyn turns her head toward her, and Ali meets her eyes, smiling. “You wanted to know what happened with Tyler? Well, long story short, he was kind of a dick.”

“Well duh,” Caroline says. “He just has that look about him.”

“I told him I just wanted to be with him,” Ali says. “But I had to be honest about something. And that was my sexuality.” She looks around the circle to find a few surprised looks, but nobody seems particularly concerned. “For a long time I think I knew I liked both boys and girls, but I kind of felt like boys were my only choice. Which is how I ended up with Tyler, but I really did like him. I did love him.”

“But he didn’t like that you were bisexual?” Rachel asks. “That’s ridiculous!”

Ali shrugs. “There’s more to it than that, but yeah, basically.”

“What an asshole,” Bethany says. “Whatever, you can do way better anyway.”

Ashlyn smiles, glancing at Ali, who’s smirking to herself.

“I have one,” Grace says, fidgeting slightly. Caitlin places a hand on her knee in comfort. “Um.” She looks at Caitlin, who nods. “Caitlin and I are… kinda together.”

“Kinda?” Caroline asks.

“Bad wording,” Grace says, her face flushing. “We’re together. She’s my girlfriend.”

“It’s about time you admitted it,” Michelle says, laughing. “If you weren’t, I’d feel bad for any of your romantic interests.”

“You knew?” Caitlin asks.

“I mean, not really,” Michelle says. “But now that you say it, it just makes sense.”

“How long?” Laura asks, and Caitlin takes a deep breath before filling them in on the whole story, from the very beginning. The girls listen, slowly letting it all sink in, nodding with developing understanding. When she finishes, they’re all silent, and Ashlyn looks around, waiting for someone to finally say something.

“I mean, you’ve always been friendship goals,” Taryn says, shrugging. “Now you’re just relationship goals too.”

“As long as you guys are happy, I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re happy for you,” Bethany says. The rest of the girls nod in agreement.

Ali smiles, practically watching the weight of the world lift off both Grace and Caitlin’s shoulders. She knows telling their families is going to be a completely different animal, but this isn’t a bad place to start.

~

They’re almost late for flag raising, and Ali is getting impatient. It’s not that being late is the worst thing in the world, and Moe and the campers have already left, but Ali doesn’t want to deal with the crap she’ll get from the other counselors about what took her and Ashlyn so long to get out of the cabin.

“Ashlyn, can you please hurry?” Ali calls.

“You’re one to talk!” Ashlyn replies, and moments later she’s running out of the bathroom.

“Okay, who exactly are you trying to impress?” Ali asks.

Ashlyn is wearing her typical khaki shorts with a not-so-typical belt, but instead of her usual T-shirt combo, she’s wearing a forest green Camp Cedar Falls polo, which is tucked into her shorts. All the counselors are supposed to wear Cedar Falls gear for visiting day, probably to keep up the appearances to all the parents that this is a classy, professional camp, but Ashlyn’s hair is back in a braid, and she’s actually wearing makeup, which rarely happens at camp aside from a swipe of mascara here and a dab of concealer there.

Ashlyn gives Ali a look. “Obviously it’s you,” she says, stepping toward her for a kiss. “Or your parents,” she mumbles.

“You’re really cute,” Ali says. “But they’re going to adore you no matter what. Just like I do even when you’re whiny and sweaty and have broccoli in your teeth.”

“Luckily I have a girlfriend who carries floss in her backpack,” Ashlyn teases.

Typically, visiting day is just for the campers, but some counselors’ parents come, especially when the counselors have been attending camp as long as Ali and Kyle have. Ali would never admit it, but Ashlyn knows Ken and Deb Krieger give a great deal of money to the camp as well.

Ashlyn is a bundle of nerves all morning waiting for the parents to arrive, but luckily she and Whitney are taking some of the middle schoolers tubing on the boat today while Ryan is on lifeguard duty, so she doesn’t have to worry about getting wet.

“What are they like, though?” Ashlyn whines as Whitney drives the boat.

“They’re, I don’t know, parents!” Whitney says, exasperated. “Can we stop talking about it?”

“Snippy,” Ashlyn mutters, and Whitney whips her head around to glare at her.

“I’m sorry, I just have other things on my mind,” Whit says. “You’re allowed to be nervous. I get it.”

Ashlyn sighs, wondering how she could have been so selfish. Of course Whitney has other things on her mind. “Whit, I’m sorry,” she says. “I completely forgot Ryan’s parents are coming too.” Secretly, she knows his parents are going to have a lot more on their mind than judging his new girlfriend, but Whitney doesn’t know that.

“It’s fine,” Whitney says. “I guess you have more of a reason to be nervous.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashlyn asks.

“Sorry, that’s not what I meant,” Whit sighs. “Honestly, her parents are great. It’s just, as much as they know about Ali, she’s never had a girlfriend. It’ll be new for them.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t even think that’s why I’m nervous. I just want to be good enough for her.”

“You are,” Whitney says. “They’re going to love you. You have the night off, right? Are you going somewhere with them?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “They have dinner reservations, probably somewhere I could never afford on my own. But then there’s like this big blue counselors’ night out, so I think Ali’s going to drop me off after that.”

“That’ll be fun,” Whitney says. “But please, Ash, I’m begging you. Just think of them as people. Not as your girlfriend’s parents or people with money. You’ll be less nervous, and you’ll be yourself, and they’ll love you.”

“You too,” Ashlyn says. “You’re the perfect catch, and Ryan knows how lucky he is. His parents will too.”

Whitney rolls her eyes, pulling Ashlyn in for a side hug. “Why is it that even when you’re being so annoying you’re still the best friend in the whole world?”

“Part of my charm, I guess.”

~

Ashlyn has barely been on dry land for 30 seconds before she’s introduced to more parents than she’ll ever be able to keep track of. She sees Kelley and Alex with their moms, who like to take the weekend of Visiting Day as a girls’ weekend together. It makes Ashlyn feel hopeful that one day she’ll be in a relationship established enough that her mom will hang out with Ali’s mom—or, you know, whoever’s mom—just because they might as well be family.

Speaking of, she can’t find Ali anywhere, though she imagines she keeps being intercepted just as much as Ashlyn has been.

“This is my new counselor, Ashlyn,” she hears, and she spins to see Grace with her parents.

“We’ve heard so much about you,” her mom says, warmly shaking her hand. “The girls were crushed when they found out their old counselor, Liz, wasn’t coming back. You had some big shoes to fill, but you’ve done a wonderful job.”

“The girls make it easy,” Ashlyn says. “Grace is an amazing young woman. You should both be very proud.”

Her dad’s face lights up as he puts an arm around his daughter. “We think so, but it’s always nice to hear it from someone else,” he says. “Hey, Tom!” he calls, seeing someone behind Ashlyn. Ashlyn turns around to see Caitlin, Ryan, and Whitney with who she assumes must be the Flanagan parents.

“Hey, Jeff,” Tom says, giving the other dad what Ashlyn fondly refers to as a “bro hug.”

The moms greet each other as well, and Whitney looks happy, so Ashlyn figures the introductions must have gone well.

“Caitlin said we should all go check out their cabin together,” her mom says.

“Is that okay?” Caitlin asks.

“Yes, of course,” Ashlyn says. She glances at her watch. “Lunch is in about 30 minutes, so just as long as you’re back by then.”

They all leave, leaving Whitney and Ryan behind.

“So that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Ashlyn teases.

“Piece of cake,” Ryan says, high-fiving Whitney. “My girl slays the parent-meeting game.”

“Speaking of,” Whitney says, looking behind Ashlyn. “Hi, Mr. Krieger!”

“Whitney!” the man says, walking up to hug her. Ali runs over before he can meet Ashlyn on his own. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” Whitney says. “Have you met Ryan?”

“Oh, of course,” Ken says, shaking his hand.

“Dad,” Ali says, putting her hand on Ashlyn’s back. “This is Ashlyn.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Ashlyn says, putting her hand out. He looks surprised and stares at her hand for a moment before smiling and pulling her into a hug.

“Nice to meet you too,” he says. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“And this is my mom, Deb,” Ali says. “Mom, Ashlyn.” Deb hugs her as well.

“How have you been enjoying camp?” she asks. “I hope Ali’s been making you feel right at home”

“Of course,” Ashlyn says. “Kyle too.”

“I heard you got this one to do the high ropes course for the first time in how many years?” Ken asks, and Ali rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, Ashlyn’s a hero, we get it,” she says.

“I’ll buy you a beer tonight,” Ken says with a wink. “Just don’t tell Cap. I’d like to stay on her good side. You’re still coming, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Ashlyn says, squeezing Ali’s hand quickly. It’s hard not to act like a couple when meeting her parents. She doesn’t want to appear standoffish toward their daughter, but she’s suddenly conscious of every movement.

Ali and Ashlyn eat lunch with their campers and their parents, exchanging a glance when they (finally) see Caitlin and Grace and their families walk back in. Ashlyn knew it was going to be longer than 30 minutes. They all look like they’ve been crying, but Caitlin and Grace look happy, and nobody looks particularly upset, which Ashlyn takes as a good sign.

“Grace, Caitlin!” Ali calls. “We saved some seats for you all, come sit!”

Grace sits by Caitlin, with their moms on either side, their dads across from them. They start filling their plates in silence, and Ali shoots Ashlyn a look to do something, as if this isn’t her area of expertise.

“Um, did you like the cabin?” Ashlyn asks. Ali rolls her eyes.

“It looks wonderful,” Caitlin’s mom says. “Now if only I could have you two come to our house and keep Cait’s room that clean.”

“Trust me, it’s usually much different,” Ashlyn says. “We owe it to Ali for kicking us into gear and making everyone clean. She’s a drill sergeant, but we love her anyway.” She doesn’t realize what she’s said till she sees Ali’s eyes dart to hers, widening, and she quickly sips her water, willing someone else to speak.

“Whatever it takes,” Grace’s dad says, picking at his lunch. “We’re just happy our girls are having such a wonderful time.” Grace smiles, looking down at her own plate. “We miss them, and it’s hard watching them grow up so fast sometimes, but their happiness is the most important thing.”

Ashlyn looks back to Ali, smiling. Guess it couldn’t have gone too badly at all.

~

Ashlyn’s stomach is growling by the time she’s getting ready for dinner with Ali’s family, but she can’t eat at camp dinner for fear of being too full and looking nervous (which she is, unbelievably so). Ali gives her a quick “chill out” kiss before heading up to flag lowering, where Ali’s parents fit right in, knowing all the traditions and songs the counselors lead.

Ashlyn sits with Whitney and the Flanagans at dinner while Ali’s family sits with Cap’s family and HAO and Pinoe, who teasingly gripe at Ashlyn for taking their spot at family dinner with the Kriegers.

“If you don’t eat, you’re going to throw up from nerves,” Whitney whispers to Ashlyn.

“I won’t,” Ashlyn says.

“You look very nice,” Mr. Flanagan—Tom—says. Ashlyn looks down at herself as if she’s forgotten the dress shirt and dark jeans she’s dressed in. It’s “Special occasion?”

Ashlyn clears her throat. “Yeah, uh, the Kriegers are taking us out to dinner,” she says.

“They’re great people,” he says. “It’s wonderful that you and Ali have gotten so close.” Ashlyn looks at Caitlin, who shrugs as if to say she hadn’t said anything. “We weren’t sure if she’d be back without Liz.”

“I think it’s a little weird for her to have someone new in the cabin,” Ashlyn laughs. “She’s an awesome counselor, though. I couldn’t have asked for a better co.”

“Talking about me?” Ali asks, walking up behind them, flanked by her parents and Kyle. “Sorry to interrupt, but Cap said we could sneak out. You ready?”

~

Ashlyn figured she’d be shocked by the prices on the menu wherever they went for dinner, but she doesn’t expect to be shocked by where they end up. Ali follows her parents’ car into the parking lot for a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint, where they walk in and are greeted by name.

Ali interlocks her fingers with Ashlyn’s, and Ashlyn tries to play it cool. They’re away from camp now, and everyone they’re with knows they’re together. They can be open and honest and, well, cute.

“Sorry, I know the whole meeting the parents thing is supposed to be fancier,” Ken says when they sit down. “But we love this place. We would stop here on the way to drop the kids off and pick the kids up from camp every year, so now that we don’t do that anymore, it’s kind of tradition to come here on Visiting Day.”

“No, this is great,” Ashlyn says. “I love pizza.”

“This isn’t just pizza,” Ken says, and Ali rolls her eyes.

“He takes pizza very seriously,” she says.

“This is the best pizza in Pennsylvania,” he says. “Trust me, I try to find somewhere to beat it every time I visit Alex at school.”

“We call her Alex,” Deb tells Ashlyn.

“She does too,” Ali says, smiling warmly. “Mostly to be a pest, but I guess I like it.”

“I promise we’ll take you out for a nice dinner when you come visit in Virginia,” Ken says. “Well, Deb lives in Miami these days, but northern Virginia is a good midway point between Penn State and UNC, wouldn’t you say?”

“Sounds great, sir,” Ashlyn says. Ali smiles, satisfied. She's been trying to convince Ashlyn to come to D.C. since they met. Ashlyn’s never been, and she rarely goes anywhere during the school year because gas is expensive, but she's sure she'd drive across the country and back if Ali asked. “Only if you can convince this one to visit me and let me take her to Disney.”

“Is that an open invite?” Kyle asks. “Because I so did not know that was an option.”

“You're welcome to come if Ali thinks she's too good for it,” Ashlyn teases, but Ali is quiet. Too much talk of what comes after summer for her liking.

“Ashlyn, tell us about you,” Deb says. “Ali said you used to play soccer?”

They spend the next hour or so talking, laughing, eating, picking off each other’s plates (Kyle) and chastising each other for picking off everyone’s plates (Ali). Ashlyn almost forgets she only met these people a number of hours ago because they already feel like family.

When dinner is over, Ashlyn thanks the Kriegers profusely, exchanging hugs all around and promises to keep Ali in line and make her write home more often on Ashlyn’s part.

Ali offers her car for Ashlyn to drive herself to the bar to meet the other counselors while she goes back to camp to hang out with her parents and the campers’ parents, but Ashlyn doesn't want to be responsible for a vehicle when she's even slightly buzzed. Besides, having Ali drop her off buys her more time with Ali, and if the summer has taught her anything, it's that there can never be enough of that.

“They like you,” Ali says when they get in the car.

“They seem like they like everyone,” Ashlyn says, even though she's pleased with how the evening went.

“You'd be amazed,” Ali says. “They put Tyler through the ringer when they met him.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “Sorry. I'm trying not to compare you. He's all I have to go on.”

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “I just hate what he did to you.” Ali is quiet. “I'm sorry, I know it probably sucks to think about, but it makes my blood boil. And then for him to act like he did nothing wrong when you saw him for the first time after no contact for a year? I just want to punch him.”

“Please don't,” Ali says, pulling into the parking lot of the bar. “It's—it's in the past, right? None of that matters now.”

“You're right,” Ashlyn says. “We won't talk about it anymore.” Ali nods quickly, and Ashlyn kisses her, sensing her discomfort. “Come with me,” Ashlyn murmurs against her lips. “Get drunk with me and let me take body shots off you. Then we can dance and when I'm too hot and bothered and can't take it anymore, I'll fuck you in the backseat.”

“Ashlyn!” Ali exclaims, blushing furiously. “Stop it!”

“Just something to keep in mind on your drive back to camp,” Ashlyn says, her hand sliding up Ali’s thigh and under the skirt she's wearing. 

“Our next night off,” Ali promises. “We won't go out, we’ll just go to the house and you can have your way with me.”

“You don't have to convince me, Princess,” Ashlyn murmurs, kissing her again. “Your wish is my command.”

“Be good,” Ali calls when Ashlyn finally gets out. “Don't do anything I wouldn't.”

“That limits me in no way at all,” Ashlyn teases. “See you back at camp.”

~

It’s an unspoken tradition that for the final open mic night of the summer, both sides of color war will put on a counselor skit poking fun at the counselors on the other side. The counselors who have been around for a while know better than to put off planning it till the last second, so the outing tonight is preliminary planning and team bonding, organized (of course) by Becky, a notably responsible counselor.

Alex is drunk when Ashlyn finally gets into the bar, probably because she and Kelley have been taking shots with their moms for at least an hour.

“Ashlyn!” she calls across the room, waving her over to join the group. “You’re right on time.”

Ashlyn slides into an open seat between Alex and Pinoe, who calls over a waitress to take Ashlyn’s drink order.

“What are you having?” Ashlyn asks Becky.

“Water,” Becky says. “I’m driving.”

Ashlyn orders a Modelo to start and tries to keep up with the conversation.

“We’re trying to figure out who's going to play which gold counselor,” Kelley says. “It's the first year in ages that Alex and I have been on the same team, so we can't play each other. Which sucks because I had it in the bag this time after living with her for a whole year.”

“You're obviously playing Ali,” Pinoe says.

“Obviously?” Ashlyn asks. “Why?”

“Well, because they'll make her play you,” Pinoe says with a shrug.

“Whit would do a way better job,” Ashlyn says. “Come to think of it, I would do an amazing Whit.”

“Yeah, but you're co-counselors and you're dating. Double whammy,” Alex says. “Press is playing Whit.”

“I'm playing Syd!” Dom announces gleefully.

“I'm Ryan,” Tyler says. “Looks like it's me and you, babe.” He nudges Press, who smiles, but it seems forced. Ashlyn rolls her eyes.

After much back-and-forth debate, they decide Abby will be Cap, Kelley will play HAO, Alex is playing A Rod, Tobin will play Cheney, and perhaps most importantly, Pinoe will play Kyle. Ashlyn holds her breath during that debate, looking at Tyler out of the corner of her eye, almost daring him to make a shitty joke about Kyle, but he stays quiet besides grinning and clapping when Pinoe puts on her practiced Kyle voice.

By the time it's all over, they are all (aside from the drivers) well past tipsy, and Becky plays the responsible role of checking the time and making sure everyone is ready to go.

“Al, can I hitch a ride with you guys?” Ashlyn asks.

“Our car’s full,” Alex says, pouting. “I’m sorry.”

Becky overhears, and wastes no time taking action. “Hey, does anyone have any more room in their car?” she calls across the crowd.

“I do,” someone says, and Ashlyn turns around to see who it is.

“No way,” Ashlyn laughs. Of course it’s Tyler. “I’d rather walk.”

“It’s not like I’m the only one in the car,” Tyler says. “Hope and Carli are riding with me too. You need a ride, don’t make it a big deal.”

“Whatever,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes and begrudgingly following him.

“Dude, what’s the deal?” Tyler asks when they get to the car. Ashlyn curses Hope and Carli in her head for taking too long. “I thought we came to a truce.”

“Did we?” Ashlyn says, opening the door. “Must have missed it.”

Tyler sighs as he gets in on the driver’s side. “Can I be real with you for a second? I thought you were really hot when I first saw you. I mean, I still do, but—”

“That might work on some girls,” Ashlyn says. “But I think you’re missing your target audience here.”

“I’m just saying. Then I was around you a bit and I thought you were really cool. I thought for sure we’d be friends.”

“And?” Ashlyn sighs.

“Well, then you practically ripped my balls off about flirting with Morgan. Which I was, so that was fair, but I couldn’t figure out why you were so against me. Till I saw you with Ali, of course.”

“Right.”

“I’m happy she’s happy,” he says. “I’ve told you I don’t have anything against her. You said you know what happened between us, so whatever. I get it. But you do realize if I had said yes, you wouldn’t be with her, right? So I don’t get what the big deal is.”

“What are you talking about?” Ashlyn asks. “Said yes to what?”

Right then, Hope and Carli finally get in the car, talking about their plan to sabotage the gold team’s chances, and Tyler turns toward the steering wheel. “We’ll talk about it when we get back to camp,” he says.

~

When Ali walks into the lounge to meet Ashlyn after her parents leave, Ashlyn is sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone. Ali smiles, sitting beside her and kissing her on the cheek.

“Hey,” she says. “How was your night?”

“Fine,” Ashlyn says, but something is wrong, and Ali knows it.

“Everything okay?” she asks.

“You tell me,” Ashlyn says, turning her phone’s screen toward Ali.

Ali takes the phone and starts to read, slowly understanding. Her face falls, and she looks up. “Ashlyn,” she says.

Before Ashlyn has a chance to say anything, a group of counselors including Pinoe, Alex, and Kelley walks in. Ashlyn grabs her phone back and stands up.

“I'll see you back at the cabin,” Ashlyn says, slamming the door behind her. The rest of the counselors turn toward the noise then back to Ali, stunned and trembling on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *braces self*
> 
> 1\. Favorite line(s)?  
> 2\. How did you feel about the parents (namely the Kriegers of course)?  
> 3\. Which counselor v. counselor matchup(s) are you most excited for in the skit?  
> 4\. Er... predictions? :)  
> 5\. Just spill all your thoughts/feelings/anger/joy/excitement/terror here! XOXO


	11. Shadow of a Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn confronts Ali with her newfound information, and they both try to piece together the truth in the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if "enjoy" is the right word, so... may the force be with you?
> 
> (Sunday, July 9)
> 
> #thatjuly9th anyone???

When Ali comes back to the cabin, the lights are off inside, but Ashlyn is sitting on the porch in one of the rocking chairs, writing furiously in her journal. Ali can't imagine the things she's saying.

“Ash,” she says quietly, and Ashlyn finally looks up at her. “Can I… can we talk?”

“I guess,” Ashlyn says. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Those texts,” Ali says. “I know what it looks like, but—”

“How could it be anything except what it looks like?” Ashlyn asks. “These are your words, Alex. Texts from you to Tyler saying you wanted to get back together with him. Texts from June! This was literally a week before we met. What the hell?”

“I didn't,” Ali says, sitting down in the other chair. “I was scared to come to camp and not be with him. I was scared it was going to be awkward and I was going to have a horrible time, but I had to come because if I didn't, it would be even worse.”

“So your solution was to tell him he was right, you were just going through a phase?” Ashlyn spits, her eyes prickling with tears. “We both know it's not.”

“Of course it's not,” Ali says. “I was desperate and anxious and wanted to say what he wanted to hear. None of it was true.”

“You're a damn good liar then,” Ashlyn says. “I should know, you've been lying to me plenty.”

“I haven't,” Ali says.

“Yes you have,” Ashlyn says. “What's the Liz thing, Ali?”

“What do you mean?” Ali asks, her voice trembling.

“You apologized for the Liz thing,” Ashlyn says. “I can read the texts if you want me to refresh your memory.”

“Don't,” Ali whispers.

“Then tell me. I want to hear it from you.”

“Ashlyn, you have to understand-”

“Just tell me,” Ashlyn says through her teeth.

“I've told you about Liz,” Ali says calmly. “She has been my best friend since I was a kid, she came to camp with me, and she was a counselor with me up till this year.”

“So what did you do?”

“We hooked up,” Ali says. “We were drunk and it was a mistake. Tyler and I got into a huge fight, and he said some really horrible things. I look at the fight as the end of our relationship, but he doesn't.”

“Don't you think that's usually the kind of thing you should clarify before hooking up with someone else? What does that even mean?” Ashlyn asks, catching her voice as it elevates and trying to keep it down.

“We made out,” Ali says. “I—she stopped it before it went too far, which I'm thankful for. I would have really regretted doing anything more. I'm happy you were my first time with a woman.”

“This isn't about flattering my ego,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes. “This is about you being a shitty person and doing shitty things and then lying about it.”

“I know,” Ali says. “But it's true. I shouldn't have kissed her, but if I did, I should have broken things off with Tyler officially first.”

“I don't know what's worse, you lying to him about who you are, or you lying to me about everything else,” Ashlyn says. “You let me act like a complete asshole to him because I thought he was this massive tool who broke up with you because you like women.”

“He did,” Ali says. “Just because I was an idiot and almost gave him a second chance doesn't change that.”

“Almost?” Ashlyn laughs. “Ali, you were begging. I was embarrassed for you. And the fact that you think he's the one who needed a second chance is just rich.” Ali’s eyes fill with tears. “Don't fucking cry! You don't get to just cry to get what you want, the real world doesn't work that way.”

“That's not fair,” Ali says.

“Not fair?” Ashlyn says. “What's not fair is giving me some sob story about how your homophobic ex ruined your life and how you had to put your life back together and learn to accept yourself. What's not fair is you playing little miss innocent and letting me eat it up when in reality you're a complete fucking phony. Not fair is acting like our struggles are even remotely similar when anytime you don't want to be different you can just run to a guy.”

“You don't mean that,” Ali says. “I know you're pissed at me, but you're not evil.”

“I guess we’re both just full of surprises, then, aren't we?”

“So what do you want?” Ali asks. “An apology? I'm sorry, okay? That obviously wasn't my proudest moment, it isn't the kind of thing that I want to tell someone who I'm trying to impress in the first few days.”

“Which moment?” Ashlyn asks. “The one where you cheated on your boyfriend? The one where you lied about it? Oh but God, how would you narrow it down, you lied about it so many times. To me, to him, to your brother, all your friends, the girls,” she says. “Some trust circle.”

Ali stays quiet, but Ashlyn isn't done.

“And what about ever since then?” she asks. “You had so many opportunities, do you really think I would have just dumped you because you did something stupid before I ever met you?”

“This reaction makes me think you would have.”

“I'm not reacting to that, I'm reacting to finding this out from fucking Tyler of all people, and I'm reacting to finding out you lied to my face!”

“I said I was sorry,” Ali says quietly. “I can't go back and change it now.”

“I'm not asking you to,” Ashlyn says.

“Then what do you want?” Ali says. “Because it feels like you just want to yell.”

“I don't want anything,” Ashlyn says. “For the first time I can genuinely say I don't want anything from you.” She stands, but Ali grabs her arm when she moves to go inside.

“Don’t leave,” Ali says. “What are we—can we talk about it in the morning? When we’ve both had the chance to cool off?”

“I’m fine,” Ashlyn says. “There’s nothing left to talk about.”

“Okay, so… we’re good?” Ali asks.

“We’re co-counselors,” Ashlyn says. “We have a responsibility to our campers, and we promised Cap we wouldn’t let any stupid relationship get in the way of that. She’ll be relieved to know that won’t be an issue any longer. Now you can go make out with whoever you want, since I guess that's kinda your thing.”

She shakes her arm from Ali’s grasp and walks inside. When she gets into bed, her heart is beating so hard that it almost drowns out the sound of Ali crying right outside her window.

~

Whitney is still rubbing the sleep from her eyes when Ashlyn bursts into her cabin the next morning.

“Good morning?” Whit says, confused. “What's up?”

“I need to talk to you like now,” Ashlyn says. “In private.”

Whitney immediately feels more awake, and she pulls Ashlyn to the back porch. “What's wrong?”

“Ali and I broke up,” Ashlyn says, her voice breaking as she puts it into words for the first time.

“What?” Whitney gasps. “Why? Did something go wrong with her parents?”

“No,” Ashlyn says. “They were great. That's why this is so much worse.”

“Okay, so what happened?” Whit asks. “Are you okay?”

“I don't know,” Ashlyn says. “I broke up with her, but I'm definitely not happy.”

“Why?”

“She cheated on Tyler,” Ashlyn says. “With Liz.”

“Wait, what?” Whitney says. “Wait, why does that affect you?”

“Because she lied about it!” Ashlyn exclaims. “She told everyone something different about why they broke up, and conveniently she always left out the part where she made out with someone else.”

“Oh wow,” Whitney says.

“She also left out the part where she basically begged him to take her back like days before she met me,” Ashlyn says. “And told him she was just going through a phase with her sexuality.”

“That's not true, though,” Whitney says.

“Don't you think I know that?” Ashlyn asks. “Just another thing to add to the list of what she's lied about.”

“Ash,” Whit says softly. “I'm really sorry.”

“Whatever,” Ashlyn says. “Just a few weeks of my life I can't get back, but at least I didn't spend any more time on it.”

“Don't say that,” Whit says. “You don't mean it.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Yours, always,” Whit says, keeping her voice calm as Ashlyn’s elevates. She's used to Ashlyn’s wide range of reactions to anything and everything. “But she means a lot to you. You like her. I almost hesitate to say it, but I know you, and I know how easily you love, and even if you don't feel comfortable telling her you love her romantically, I know you do, at least as a friend. And you can't just end that.”

“I'll be civil to her,” Ashlyn says. “I'm not going to stoop to her level.”

“She's a good person, Ash,” Whit sighs. “She made a huge mistake, and I can see that being hard to forgive, but as a girlfriend. She was your friend before she was more than that, and I know we talked at the beginning of the summer about how she needs one.”

“Yeah, because at the time you thought Tyler was some huge jerk who screwed Ali over.”

“Tyler is a huge jerk,” Whit says. “That has nothing to do with Ali. He was a jerk way before Ali, and he’ll be a jerk long after. He's charming and manipulative and knows exactly what to say to make you feel bad for him, but I'm telling you, that much is true.”

“He's nice to me,” Ashlyn mumbles.

“Yeah,” Whit says patiently. “And I'm assuming he's the one who told you all that about Ali.”

“Kind of,” Ashlyn says. “But he showed me proof.”

“And did that information help you?” Whit asks. “Or did it hurt you?”

“It helped me figure out Ali isn't who she said she was.”

“And did figuring that out make you feel better or worse?”

“Worse,” Ashlyn admits, hating where Whitney is going with this.

“And did breaking up with her make you feel better or worse?”

“Worse, Whitney, obviously.”

“Then I’m struggling to see how he was looking out for you,” Whitney says with a shrug. “Listen to me, I’m not discounting the fact that she lied and that you’re hurt. That is a problem, but it’s one I think you can work through.”

“I don’t want to,” Ashlyn says. She realizes how petty she sounds, but if Whitney notices, she doesn’t acknowledge it, just nods.

“That’s your right,” Whit says. “And I’m here for you no matter what. I just want you to know it’s not going to be easy. Camp isn’t suddenly going to split in half for you two, and you can’t expect it to. You knew what you were getting into when you started this thing.”

Ashlyn nods, taking a deep breath. Whitney knows this isn’t what she wants to hear right now, but after two years of being roommates, she knows she needs tough love and some cold hard truth. And there’s nobody who can get through to Ashlyn like Whitney can.

“I have to go back to the cabin, don’t I?” Ashlyn asks. Whitney just smiles sympathetically.

“You can’t avoid her forever.”

Ashlyn doesn’t go back to the cabin. She knows she can’t avoid her forever, but she also can’t face her on an empty stomach, so she heads to the dining hall to set tables.

She is glad she does, because Cheney and A Rod’s cabin is on breakfast duty, and there’s no better way to start your morning after a breakup than with a bunch of excited six-year-olds ready to talk your ear off and fight over you to sit at their table.

Molly, the little girl who was attached to Ali during the Fourth of July fireworks, tugs on Ashlyn’s hand, grinning up at her with big brown eyes. Her dark blonde hair is pulled into a braid undoubtedly designed by A Rod.

“Can you sit with me?” she asks. “Please?”

“Of course I can,” Ashlyn agrees. “Hey, if you want to be the coolest table, let’s fold the napkins into cool shapes. Do you want to learn?” Molly agrees excitedly, and Ashlyn patiently shows her how to turn the napkins into frogs and swans, a skill she learned at some point in middle school and is good for just about nothing except impressing six-year-olds these days.

Molly gets the hang of it fairly quickly, and once all the napkins are folded, Ashlyn grabs more to teach her different animals.

“Did you color your arm with permanent marker?” Molly asks, stumbling over the word ‘permanent’ more adorably than Ashlyn thought possible.

Ashlyn laughs, rolling up her sleeve. “Yeah, kinda,” she says. “Don’t tell your parents I said that, though.”

“My daddy did that too,” Molly says, gingerly touching her arm. “He said I can’t till I’m a grown up.”

“Your daddy sounds very smart,” Ashlyn says. She starts telling Molly about the different parts of her sleeve, so wrapped up in the conversation that she hardly realizes the rest of camp is flooding in from flag raising until Molly perks up, waving excitedly at someone behind Ashlyn.

She turns around to see Ali, whose happy face falls when she realizes Ashlyn is sitting there. After what looks to be a tumultuous internal debate, Ali walks toward Molly, knowing it would be affecting the campers if Ali were to snub the little girl just because she’s sitting by Ashlyn.

“Hey, Molly!” Ali says, leaning down to hug her. “Your hair looks beautiful. Did A Rod do that?”

“Yes!” she says. “Look at our napkins!” She holds up a swan for Ali’s inspection.

“Wow! Those are so cool!”

“Ashlyn showed me,” Molly says proudly.

“That’s awesome,” Ali says, very intentionally keeping her eyes fixed on Molly.

“Sit with me!” Molly says, tapping the seat beside her and across from Ashlyn.

“I would, but I told my brother I would sit with him,” Ali says, motioning vaguely across the room, realizing she doesn’t actually know where Kyle is.

“He can too,” Molly says eagerly, not believing her luck in having the attention of two of her favorite “big kid” counselors.

“Smile!” Kyle says, as if on cue. He barely waits for them to turn toward him before snapping a picture. “Can I sit with you guys?”

“Yeah!” Molly exclaims. Ashlyn looks down at her coffee, her stomach in knots.

“Actually, can we sit somewhere else?” Ali asks quietly, but Molly hears, and her face falls. 

Kyle looks around at the dining hall, which has filled up quickly. “I don't see two more seats together,” he says, looking between Ali and Ashlyn. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” Ashlyn says. “You guys sit here, I'll… go find Whitney or something.”

“No, stay!” Molly exclaims, and from the look on her face, it's clear she's confused about why they keep trying to abandon her.

Ashlyn stays put, looking at Ali while Ali avoids eye contact. “Yeah, sit here,” Ashlyn says finally. Ali finally looks at her, and Ashlyn hates it.

It's one thing to look at her brown eyes in adoration and appreciation, and it's another thing to look at them and not only see the hurt, but to see a completely different person staring back. Ali is forever changed in Ashlyn’s eyes, but it scares Ashlyn that she still wants that person, whoever she is. And when she looks into her brown eyes, still slightly pink from a night of crying and restless sleep, she still wants to care for that person, and it's almost more painful knowing she shouldn't want that.

“How was your night?” Kyle asks Ashlyn, settling into the seat beside the one Ali sets her backpack on before getting coffee for herself and Kyle.

“Okay,” Ashlyn says. “We went out. It was fun.”

“Yeah, and Ali took her sweet time getting back to camp,” he laughs. “I almost thought you two had gotten carried away with something.”

Ashlyn's heart clenches as she remembers her last normal encounter with Ali. She wants to tell him, to stop him before he says anything that he’ll be embarrassed about when he finds out, but she can't take that from Ali. Nor does she want to. Ali needs to face her brother and tell him the truth on her own.

“Nope,” Ashlyn says. “We just talked.”

“My parents are in love with you,” he says. “They wouldn't shut up about how polite you were and how clear it was that you and Ali are like obsessed with each other.”

Ashlyn nods, digging into the food she isn't even hungry for, just to give her mouth something to do other than respond to him.

“So listen,” he says conspiratorily. “I have an idea for a surprise for Ali’s birthday.”

“What do you know about Liz?” Ashlyn asks, knowing it is a stupid thing to bring up to turn the conversation away from Ali, but Kyle looks flustered.

“Wait, how—” he starts, but Ali slams two cups of coffee down in front of him, some of the hot liquid splashing over the rim.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” she asks Ashlyn. “Alone?” The look on her face says the unspoken “unless you want to do this in front of the innocent little girl.”

Ashlyn stands up and follows Ali outside, folding her arms as she leans against the wall. “What?”

“Why did you ask Kyle about her?” Ali asks.

“I was curious,” Ashlyn says.

“What do you want to know?” Ali asks. “Ask me.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “You weren’t curious, you were trying to throw me under a bus.”

“I wanted to know how aware he was of the situation,” Ashlyn shrugs.

Ali takes a deep breath. “I know you hate me,” Ali says. “But can you like, not try to make everyone else hate me?”

Ashlyn laughs, rolling her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’re more than capable of doing that without my help.” She brushes past Ali to go back inside.

“Ashlyn,” Ali says, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Please.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone your dirty little secret,” Ashlyn says, not mentioning the fact that she kind of already told Whitney. “But if you want to prove you’re not the person I think you are, you’re going to have to learn to start telling the truth eventually.”

~

It isn’t until her free period that Ashlyn realizes she has no idea what to do without Ali. She would go meet up with the cabin, but they’re at sports and games with Ali right now, and that’s out of the question. She considers going back to the cabin for a nap, but being alone doesn’t sound appealing either, so she heads to the staff lounge.

She regrets it as soon as she walks in and sees Pinoe and Kyle sitting on the computers and uploading photos, but they look up and see her, so she can’t get out of it.

“Hey!” Pinoe says. “What’s up?”

“I just had a free period, so I was going to come grab a snack here and go back to the cabin,” she lies. “Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Ash, you can hang,” Kyle says. “We’re cool.”

Pinoe looks confused. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“Ali and I broke up,” Ashlyn says.

“Ah, shit,” Pinoe says. “I’m sorry, dude.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ashlyn says.

“That always sucks at camp,” Pinoe says. “It’s just… usually not co-counselors.”

“They’re both grown-ups, it’ll be fine,” Kyle says. “Right, Ashlyn?”

“Right,” Ashlyn agrees.

“Which is why I’m going to offer you some free advice,” Kyle says. “Go meet up with your cabin. I know they’re with Ali, but you guys are going to be sleeping in the same cabin for the rest of the summer, you might as well get along.”

Ashlyn can tell Pinoe is fighting the urge to ask what happened, but she assumes Kyle will fill her in. At this point, she’s given up caring whose side people take.

“I’m not avoiding her,” Ashlyn insists.

“I never said you were,” Kyle says. “But I do know that you never spend your free periods in here or alone in your cabin. Just stating facts.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but fine,” Ashlyn says. “I’m going. Thanks.” She walks out the door without any intention of meeting up with the cabin, but Kyle follows.

“I’m not taking sides,” he says.

“She’s your sister, of course you are,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes.

“Right, if you hurt her, I’m your worst enemy,” Kyle says. “But she told me what happened, and it doesn’t sound like you were in the wrong. I mean, besides a few choice things you said in the heat of the moment, but nothing that will leave lasting damage.”

“She told you?” Ashlyn asks, finding it hard to not be impressed by that. Maybe Ali really is trying to make up for everything.

“Yeah,” Kyle says. “She told me she didn’t tell you about trying to get back together with Tyler. I remember that, she called me the morning after and told me about drunk texting him. I told her if I had a nickel for every stupid text I’d sent a boy when I was drunk, I’d be rich.” He smiles sympathetically. “She didn’t tell me the things she said about going through a phase. I would be really upset about that, too.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn said. “That’s—is that all she told you?”

“Is there more?” Kyle asks, looking concerned.

Ashlyn shakes her head, almost laughing at the absurdity. Just when she thought Ali might be taking her words to heart, she goes and disappoints all over again. “Nope,” she says. “That’s all.”

“Listen,” Kyle says. “I get it. I really do. You’re right to be upset. I was disappointed when she told me. Just… try to be patient with her. It’s still new and scary to her, but she really likes you. A lot. And I’ve seen you with her, and I know she’s special to you as well. She’s human, and I might be biased because she’s my sister, but I think you’d regret letting her get away so easy.”

“If you think this is easy, you don’t know the half of it,” Ashlyn says. “Thanks for the advice, though.”

“I know you aren’t heading to the field,” Kyle says. “Don’t go back to the cabin and sulk, though. Hang out with us. You’ll get there. Hopefully sooner rather than later, because I don’t want this to ruin your summer.”

Ashlyn weighs her options quickly, finally deciding to let Kyle have the satisfaction of calling her bluff in exchange for not having to sit in the cabin alone with her thoughts, staring at things that remind her of Ali.

~

It isn’t until bedtime that Ali realizes she has no idea what to do without Ashlyn. She’s there, of course, but that almost makes it worse. They just move around each other like stepping around the furniture, not speaking or even really looking at each other, just sensing the other’s presence and treating it as an obstacle.

Avoiding eye contact in the mirror while they brush their teeth is particularly painful, because Ashlyn used to make faces and cross her eyes, anything to make Ali laugh and have to spit out her toothpaste. If none of the campers were in the bathroom, they’d share a minty fresh kiss when they were done, but there would be none of that tonight.

Even though last night’s porch conversation wasn’t exactly ideal, it’s the first night they don’t have one at all, and Ali lies awake in bed, flat on her back twiddling her thumbs. She sees a blue light illuminating Ashlyn’s face, and she knows she must be on her phone, doing something or the other. Probably unfollowing Ali on all forms of social media, if she had to guess.

Ali grabs her phone before she thinks better of it, tapping out a text.

“I’m sorry,” she writes. She hesitates, reading the two words over and over again as if there’s something she could have possibly typed wrong, before sending it. Ten seconds later, the line beneath her message says “Read 11:42 PM.” The light goes off almost immediately. Ali waits, but it stays off, and her message remains unanswered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questionsss....  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. LEAST favorite line? (I don't mean like something boring or inconsequential, but I have a feeling there were a few jabs and things people didn't like hearing in this one)  
> 3\. I hesitate to ask this for several reasons, but... Team Ali or Team Ashlyn? Why?!  
> 4\. Any predictions on how this will affect camp life? Any predictions in general?


	12. 50/50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of Ashlyn and Ali's breakup spreads around camp, and everyone has an opinion. Meanwhile, both sides of Color War gear up for Soccer Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL this one is action-packed, and I kinda couldn't put it down, so here I am for the SECOND day in a row. You guys will cut me some slack as I return to my full-time job this week after three updates in four days, right? ;) By the way, I changed the timeline a bit (I already made the changes in previous chapters, you won't notice unless you go back and hunt reeeeally hard, but feel free), so I've started putting the dates on each chapter, mostly for my own benefit, but if you're ever lost, feel free to check on it haha
> 
> (Monday, July 10 to Saturday, July 15)

If breaking up in a small town is hard, breaking up at camp is impossible. It barely takes a day for word to spread, and by Monday morning, everyone is walking on eggshells around Ali and Ashlyn. It doesn’t help that neither one is her usual energetic, fun self. They put on happy faces and act like everything is fine around the campers, but Ali is quiet and resigned during every group activity, and Ashlyn just floats between groups of counselors, socializing as best she can.

Sometimes in the cabin, one of the girls will say something that makes them both laugh, and out of habit, they look at each other to enjoy the moment together before realizing that’s not a thing they do anymore. They make sure to be as civil as they can in the cabin while avoiding each other like the plague outside of it, but their interaction is limited to “shower’s open” and “can you turn the lights off before getting in bed?”

If they need anything else done in the cabin, they rely on Moe, who is just as much a part of the counselor grapevine as anyone else, though she’s good at smoothing things over. On Wednesday morning, she noticed Ashlyn’s shoes in the middle of the floor after Ashlyn had left to take the girls to flag raising. Ali was still in the bathroom, so Moe had quickly put them away to avoid Ali’s wrath in front of the cabin at rest hour.

Ali leaves camp Wednesday evening for her day off Thursday. Ashlyn had the same day off, but she switched with Syd to take Friday off instead. Two days apart can’t be the worst thing for them, although Whit may begrudge Ashlyn for making her spend money on a hotel room because Ali’s house is not an option. Kyle told Ashlyn she was welcome to stay, but without having to list the reasons she wouldn’t want to, Whitney understood.

It’s the first time since Sunday that Ashlyn really feels she can breathe in the cabin without bursting some huge bubble of tension that has been building. She lets herself sit on the porch for the first time all week, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh air.

“Room for one more?” Caitlin asks quietly from the doorway. It’s after lights out, but Ashlyn smiles, nodding toward the other rocking chair.

“How’s life?” Ashlyn asks. “Oh my God, we never talked about how it went with your parents! I’m sorry, I’m the worst.”

“No, that’s okay,” Caitlin says. “You’ve had other things on your mind. It was good. Really good actually. I think my parents kind of suspected it, but her parents were a little more shocked. We all cried, and they asked a lot of questions, but I think it’s all okay. Grace’s parents sent us a care package yesterday with a really nice letter.”

“That’s so good,” Ashlyn says, genuinely smiling. “I feel like there are so many horror stories of coming out, sometimes it’s just nice to hear an uneventful one.”

“We’re really lucky,” Caitlin agrees. “But how are you?”

“I’m good,” Ashlyn says.

“Come on,” Caitlin says. “We talked about opening up, remember?”

On the Fourth of July, when Caitlin had gotten upset upon realizing Ashlyn hadn’t told her about Ali, Ashlyn promised that their relationship would be more balanced, and Ashlyn would be as open as Caitlin is. She knows she’s falling back on that promise now.

“I’m not great,” Ashlyn says. “It’s been a rough few days.”

“Because you and Ali broke up,” Caitlin says like it’s a matter of fact.

“Did your brother tell you?”

“No way,” Caitlin says. “Everyone’s noticed something is different. The girls were all trying to figure out if you’d hooked up with Tyler or something.”

Ashlyn has to laugh at that one. “Hell no,” she says. Part of her wants to just tell Caitlin, have someone besides Whitney who she can just spill her heart to and who might actually take her side and understand her upset. But no matter how much she may want that, and no matter how satisfying it might feel, she couldn’t do that to Ali, and she couldn’t do that to Caitlin. “It sucks, obviously. But we just decided we’re better off as friends.”

“Yeah, but you’re not,” Caitlin says. “Friends, I mean.”

“We are!” Ashlyn says. “We’re co-counselors, of course we’re friends.”

“You literally don’t speak,” Caitlin says. “Ever. I think I heard you tell her she left her bathing suit in the bathroom one time.”

“Guilty,” Ashlyn says. “I’m sorry. We should try to be better for you guys.”

“We’re big kids,” Caitlin laughs. “We get it. Well, I get it. The other girls might be a little more confused not knowing what I do.”

“Yeah, but we should be able to be civil,” Ashlyn says. “I want to be her friend. It’s just hard.”

Caitlin smiles tightly. “Well, at least you didn’t kiss her then have her avoid you for months and then have to come back for camp and see her.”

“It worked out for you,” Ashlyn laughs. Caitlin just shrugs. “Hey, the counselor before me… Liz? What was she like?”

“Um, I don’t know, she’s just Liz,” Caitlin says. “She and Ali are like best friends. And we all follow each other on Instagram and we’re friends on Facebook, so I know they’re like real friends, not just camp friends. She’s just like Ali, like they’re creepy similar. That’s why you’ve been such a change. Not in a bad way, of course, just… new.”

“How so?”

“Well, Liz is even more organized than Ali, so she’d make the chore charts usually. She taught tennis lessons, but she kind of just did whatever activity she was needed at.”

“Do you know why she didn’t come back?” Ashlyn asks.

“No idea,” Caitlin says. “We usually don’t question it because most of the time it’s because they have a job in the real world or they get to be too old for camp. Or they can’t tear themselves away from their boyfriends or girlfriends for eight weeks. Then there are the ones who just force their boyfriends to come to camp with them. Like Cheney and A Rod.”

Ashlyn didn’t realize Jrue and Adam aren’t just normal camp people. She knew they were dating (or engaged, in Adam and Amy’s case), but she doesn’t know any of their back story, and part of her feels a little sad about that. The past few days without Ali have been hard, but maybe they would have been easier if she hadn’t been so wrapped up in Ali and had gotten the chance to bond with more counselors. She makes a mental note to make more of an effort to do that, but she interrupts her own thought process with a yawn.

“And on that note,” Caitlin laughs. “It’s probably time for bed. You should try to actually sleep tonight instead of tossing and turning and getting up to use the bathroom every two hours.”

“You should try to sleep instead of creeping on me,” Ashlyn teases, but she feels a bit guilty, knowing Caitlin’s bed is right beside her path to the restroom. “I’ll do my best.”

~

Ashlyn doesn’t realize how much Ali’s presence changes her daily life until she’s not there. Ashlyn spends the whole day Thursday feeling more normal than she has all week, chalking it up to the lack of both Ali and Kyle on campus. It makes her stomach hurt when she realizes she’s actually glad Ali’s not around. As much as she hasn’t had a problem laying into Ali and telling her exactly how she feels about her transgressions, it isn’t until she finds herself relieved to be apart from her that she realizes just how hurt she is.

Whitney has been keeping a close eye on her all week, always offering a seat at mealtimes or a shoulder to cry on, but Ashlyn hasn’t taken her up on the latter since first telling her about the breakup.

After dinner, Ashlyn looks away awkwardly as Ryan kisses Whitney while handing over his keys.

“Have fun,” he says to both of them. “Ash, keep her in line for me?”

“You got it,” Ashlyn says, even though they both know that won’t be an issue.

“How are you?” Whitney asks once they’re in the car. “Really.”

“I’m fine,” Ashlyn says, not convincing even herself. “I feel guilty for how nice it feels not having to deal with Ali.”

“That makes sense,” Whit says. “I guess the whole friends thing will take some time.”

“I guess,” Ashlyn says. “I just feel like being her friend would be so hard.”

“It’s not,” Whit teases. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You never slept with her,” Ashlyn says. “Or kissed her or stayed up all night with her talking about your hopes and dreams and fears.”

“The last thing sounds like a friend thing to me,” Whitney says.

“Naked,” Ashlyn clarifies, and Whitney rolls her eyes.

“Maybe the key is to stop looking at her like you’ve seen her naked,” Whitney says. “Like, when you see her on Saturday, maybe just say hi. And talk to her like you would that first day.”

“She was a bitch that first day,” Ashlyn reminds her.

“Now you know better,” Whit says. “You can’t keep on avoiding each other. Cap is going to catch on. It’s a miracle she hasn’t already, because you’d both be in her office getting an earful.”

“I’m going to try,” Ashlyn promises. “I just need time.”

“That’s the one thing you don’t have,” Whitney says. “It’s camp. You have exactly 30 days after today, and you can make the best of them, or you can stay miserable. And I’m talking from experience here, because I spent eight whole weeks last summer terrified of making a move with Ryan, then spent ten months regretting it. I told myself I wouldn’t let myself do that again, and I’m certainly not letting my best friend do it. You don’t have to have a relationship to have a fulfilling summer, but I don’t want you to miss out on an amazing friendship because you got off to a different start.”

“I’m going to try,” Ashlyn says. “I really am.”

“Good,” Whitney says, bringing the car into park at the bar where they’re meeting the rest of the counselors. “Because she’s here.”

“What?” Ashlyn exclaims. “Whitney Engen!”

Whitney shrugs. “Like I said, we’re not missing out on precious time this summer because you’re avoiding Ali Krieger. She’s here. Talk to her, don’t talk to her, I don’t care. But don’t make it awkward.”

She gets out of the car, leaving Ashlyn to follow, which she does—begrudgingly, of course. Whitney has a way of not giving you the option of saying no. Ashlyn’s starting to believe it’s less than innocent.

~

It takes exactly two minutes for Ashlyn to be beckoned over by Alex and Syd and order a drink, one more for her to get said drink, and exactly one sip in peace before she and Ali make eye contact across the bar. Ever since she walked in, she’s been scanning the room just for the sake of knowing where Ali is so she can keep her distance, but it’s a Thursday night and it’s crowded. She assumes Ali’s been doing the same thing since seeing Whitney, who is sipping a glass of wine (classy as ever) with Becky, Kling, and Ali.

Kling is telling a story, probably about Moe judging by her facial expressions, and the other two are laughing, but Ali just looks back down at her drink, which is empty. Whitney notices and turns to where Ali was looking, her eyes landing on Ashlyn. She gives her a typical Whitney look, raising her eyebrows as if to say “ _don’t_ make it awkward.”

Ashlyn flags down the bartender, an attractive tall blonde who Ashlyn would have flirted with on any other occasion. “Hey,” she says. “You see the brunette on the other side? With the two blondes and the one whose ID you check every single time because you’re pretty sure she’s like 16?” The bartender laughs, knowing exactly who she’s talking about. “Can you refresh her drink on me?”

“The brunette or the short one?” the bartender asks.

“The brunette,” Ashlyn says.

“Damn,” the bartender says. “There go both of my prospects in here tonight. Hey, but if she shoots you down, why don’t I buy you a drink?”

Ashlyn feels a bit flustered by the encounter, mostly because her head isn’t in the game at all, so she is blindsided by the bartender’s flirtation. “I’m not hitting on her,” Ashlyn says. “We’re friends. She—I’m—you can definitely buy me a drink.”

“Whatever you say,” the bartender says. “I’m Allison. But you can call me Allie.”

~

The world is playing a cruel joke on Ali, she knows it. She watches from across the bar as the bartender tosses her hair over her shoulder, leaning over to flirt with Ashlyn. Ali and Kyle had just come here the night before, so she doesn’t even know why she let him drag her back tonight except that there had been trivia before all the other counselors started flooding in for their nights off.

“Ali, are you listening?” Becky asks.

“What?” Ali says, her head jerking around to look at her friends. “Sorry, zoned out. I’m tired.”

“Clearly,” Becky laughs. “One day off wasn’t enough?”

Ali shrugs. “When you’re with Kyle, days off are never really quite as relaxing as they should be.”

“Not when you get up at 5 a.m. to run,” Kling says.

“On days off I sleep in till at least 7,” Ali teases. “Sorry, we were talking about…”

“Your birthday,” Whit says.

“Oh yeah,” Ali says. “We can do whatever, I don’t care.”

“Since when?” Becky asks. They all tease Ali for being a bit high maintenance, but there’s nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants.

“Another vodka cranberry for the gorgeous brunette,” the bartender says, sliding a drink toward Ali. “From the tattooed babe across the bar.” Ali looks up, and Ashlyn smiles, lifting her glass, so Ali lifts hers back before taking a sip. “And if you aren’t going home with her, I will.”

Ali almost chokes. “I’m not,” she says. “Well, I mean—she’s my co-counselor, so we sleep in the same cabin every night.”

“Oh,” the bartender says, scrunching up her nose. “That doesn’t sound like the sexy night I had envisioned.”

“It’s not,” Ali says, distracted by Ashlyn’s gesture. “Um, excuse me, I should go thank her.”

Whitney rolls her eyes toward Ashlyn, who is now wrapped up in conversation with Alex and Syd. This is not exactly what she had in mind, but whatever works.

“Hey,” Ali says, walking up behind Ashlyn. She puts a hand on her shoulder, and Ashlyn turns toward her, forcing it away. Syd watches at first before Alex pulls her away to the bathroom. “Thanks. For the drink.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “You looked like you needed a refill.”

“Need might not be the word,” Ali says. “But I do appreciate it.”

“Olive branch,” Ashlyn says. “Think of it as a peace offering.”

“Good,” Ali says, taking a chance and sliding onto the barstool left open by Syd. “You look great.”

“You too,” Ashlyn says. “Did you have a good day off?”

 

“Yeah,” Ali says. “Not as good as the last one we had together, but that’s going to be hard to beat.” Ashlyn takes a long swig of her beer instead of replying. “Sorry, that wasn’t appropriate. I’m just happy you’re talking to me.”

“Yeah, well,” Ashlyn says. “Caitlin said it’s really obvious we broke up, so I thought maybe we should try being less obvious.”

“Subtlety isn’t our strong suit,” Ali says.

“Stop that,” Ashlyn says.

“What?”

“Talking about us. We. Our.”

“You did it too,” Ali says, putting the drink down on the bar. “You said we should try being less obvious.”

“Maybe that starts with us being less of an us,” Ashlyn says. “You’re my co, we don’t have to be attached at the hip. But we can still be friends—acquaintances.”

Ali rolls her eyes. “Whatever you want,” she says, sliding off the bar stool. “Thanks again for the drink.”

Ashlyn turns back toward the bar, placing both hands around her glass to steady her shakiness. She tried to seem unaffected by Ali, and she thinks she might have succeeded, but at what cost?

By the time she looks back up, Ali is already back on the other side, her drink abandoned in front of Ashlyn.

“Your friend doesn’t know what she’s missing,” Allie says, leaning over the bar.

“Trust me, she does,” Ashlyn says.

“Here. Jameson. Neat. Looks like you could use it,” she says. “I get off in twenty minutes. If you’re planning on hanging out for a while, maybe I’ll stick around.”

Ashlyn smiles her appreciation, tossing back the whiskey. Twenty minutes and two tequila shots later, she’s on the dance floor with Alex and Syd, who have all the male attention (and much of the female attention) in the room and yet don’t seem particularly fazed.

A hand snakes over Ashlyn’s shoulder, and she turns to see Allie. “Mind if I join?” she asks.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Ashlyn says, opening up space in their little circle. She feels awkward dancing on her own, but she doesn’t want to dance with Allie either. And she certainly doesn’t want Ali to see. So when she starts moving closer to Ashlyn, Ashlyn excuses herself to go to the restroom.

It’s nicer than most bar bathrooms, and Ashlyn takes a moment to let the warm water run over her hands, mindlessly staring in the mirror till her eyes focus. She hears a toilet flush, and in the mirror she sees Ali come out of the stall.

“Oh,” Ali says, averting her eyes as she walks to the other sink.

“Oh?” Ashlyn repeats.

“Having fun?” Ali asks. “I saw you made a friend.”

“Ali,” Ashlyn sighs.

“I know her name,” Ali says.

“No, you Ali,” Ashlyn says. “Kyle told me what you told him.”

“Oh?”

“Funny thing is he didn’t mention Liz.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali sighs. “I’m getting there.”

“Why not just rip off the band-aid?” Ashlyn asks. “Tell him all at once. Don’t drag it out. Come clean.”

“Why do you care so much?” Ali asks. “It happened once in the past, and you can’t tell me I know absolutely everything about your history. I don’t know every mistake you made, and if I found one out, I wouldn’t hold it over you like this.”

“It’s more than making a mistake,” Ashlyn says. “It’s making a mistake and then lying about it to make yourself seem more… appealing to me or something. I still don’t know why you lied, which is why it’s so much harder for me to just let it go.”

“I lied because I was ashamed,” Ali says. “Have you ever done something you don’t want anyone to know about? I don’t think you overreacted, because I think what I did is just as bad as you think it is.”

“No, Ali,” she says. “What you did was make a normal human mistake. Well, a few of them. Lying about it was the bad part.”

“I know,” Ali says. “I’m sorry for lying.”

“I’m just glad you know what you’re apologizing for now,” Ashlyn says. “Your text the other night wasn’t convincing.”

“Is that why you ignored it?” Ali asks.

“Is that why you cried yourself to sleep?”

“That was mean.”

“It’s true,” Ashlyn says. “I couldn’t figure out if you were crying because you felt bad or because you weren’t getting away with it.”

“You think so little of me,” Ali says.

“No, I think you’re used to getting what you want,” Ashlyn says. “And what you want now is to not have to take responsibility for everything.”

“No, what I want now is you,” Ali says, stepping closer to Ashlyn. They are almost chest to chest, so close Ashlyn can feel Ali’s heart beating through her shirt.

Ashlyn can almost taste Ali’s lips, and she knows she’s just one movement from getting to taste them again. Her own lips have gone dry, and her tongue darts out to wet them. Ali notices.

“I guess it’s time to start getting used to disappointment,” Ashlyn whispers, stepping away.

Ali’s face falls. She takes a moment to collect herself, taking a few deep breaths after Ashlyn exits. When she leaves the bathroom, Kyle is freaking out about pushing curfew, but Ali couldn’t care less.

“I have to tell you something,” Ali says, tears filling her eyes.

“Tell me in the car, we’re late,” he says. As much fun as Kyle can be, he loses all patience when he’s with even slightly tipsy people who are inconveniencing his life. But annoyed or not, it’s time to rip off the band-aid.

~

Ashlyn drags Whitney away from the bar moments after leaving Ali in the bathroom and finally takes her up on the shoulder to cry on. It’s probably not the most thrilling night off Whitney’s ever had, but Ashlyn’s worth it.

They spend their day off going to brunch and drinking mimosas, shopping, and talking about anything but camp, which is harder than Ashlyn thought it would be, but it feels like a normal day back in Chapel Hill with her best friend.

“I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it,” Ashlyn says. “But did my relationship with Ali make me a bad friend?”

“What? That’s ridiculous. I love you both.”

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “But I was talking to someone the other day, and I realized how little I know the rest of the counselors. I’ve never been the girl who’s so into her significant other that she can’t have other friends.”

“And you still aren’t,” Whitney says. “The summer is only halfway over. Besides, you have plenty of friends. Everyone loves you! Everyone kind of groups you two together, so that might be an adjustment, but you want to know what I really think you’re doing?”

“What?”

“Making up excuses to stay away from Ali,” Whitney says. “And I think it’s because you’re scared if you are friends with her, you won’t be able to be just friends. And I think you want me—or anyone—to tell you it’s a bad idea. But I’m not giving you an easy out. If you want to stay away from her, you’ve got to decide that on your own. But as far as I can tell, anything you have to talk yourself into isn’t as good an idea as what comes natural. And I think your instincts are telling you not to stay away from her.”

“Whit,” Ashlyn groans. “It was just a question.”

“Whatever you say,” Whitney says. “All I’m saying is it’s not worth the energy you’re spending on holding a grudge, and it’s definitely not worth the pain of turning down a drunken makeout sesh just to stand some higher moral ground.”

“I don’t like you,” Ashlyn says.

“That’s a lie,” Whitney says. “What is it with you and denying your feelings?” She smiles so Ashlyn knows she’s teasing. “Let’s get back to camp. I could use a makeout sesh of my own before my day off is over.”

~

Ali’s not in the cabin when Ashlyn gets back, even though it’s past lights out, and she’s thankful for that. She has a dream that she’s back in the bathroom with Ali, but this time she leans in for a kiss and Ali disappears. When she wakes up, Ali is already gone on her run, and it feels like too much of a coincidence. She’s sure she could ask Press what the dream meant, but that would mean admitting to someone she’s dreaming about Ali.

Plus, she’s pretty sure it just means she wants to kiss Ali, which she already knows. There’s no time to think about it, though, because it’s officially Soccer Saturday.

The campers’ tournament is this morning, with Ali and Kyle serving as the gold team coaches and Hope and Carli as the blue team coaches. Cap and Boxxy will be the referees, and Alex and A Rod are on call for injuries. This afternoon will be the counselors’ game, and predictably, the trash-talking began long ago. Even the campers are more excited for the counselors’ game.

After breakfast, the campers go back to their cabins to get ready on the way to the soccer field, where there are bleachers set up and a sound system for play-by-play and color commentary (HAO and Pinoe, respectively). Grace is just finishing putting a braid with gold strands in Caitlin’s hair when Ashlyn walks into the bathroom to let them know it’s time to go.

“You’ve got this, Cait,” Grace says, turning and grinning at Ashlyn. “She’s going to be a starting forward. She’s going to be awesome.”

“Ugh, you’re a forward?” Ashlyn groans. “I thought we could be friends.”

Caitlin rolls her eyes. “I’d score on you all day every day,” she says. “We’re a lacrosse family, but Ali has been helping me get ready. She’s very competitive.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Ashlyn mumbles.

Caitlin cringes. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “We’re good. Promise.”

“Good,” Grace says. “As long as you’re still planning on kicking her ass this afternoon. I’m Team Cait this morning, but I’m blue side till I die. Or at least till the end of camp.”

~

The gold team wins the Campers’ Cup 5-4, with the game-winning goal coming from Caitlin. Ashlyn and Ali’s whole cabin, regardless of team affiliation, scream their lungs out for her, rushing the field to hug her when Cap blows the final whistle. Ali ends up under Ashlyn’s arm for the group hug, and Ashlyn pretends it doesn’t bother her.

Ali doesn’t come back to the cabin after lunch for rest hour, and Ashlyn knows it’s because she’s nervous. When they were getting to know each other, Ali told her about how anxious she gets before games, even meaningless ones like this. She’ll go out to the field and just lay in the middle of the pitch trying to calm her nerves. Ashlyn is almost tempted to go out and see if that’s what she’s doing now, but she resists, instead taking one of those 20-minute “coffee naps” that Ali swears by.

It works, because when her alarm goes off and it’s time for the big game, she’s pumped and ready to go. She won’t be starting, she knows, but she’s ready to cheer on her team or even be a field player if they ask.

Abby is the captain, and she tells them their game plan. Hope is starting in goal, but Ashlyn is subbing in at the half. Abby and Dom will play up top with Tyler and Carli right behind them. Anchoring the midfield will be Tobin on the left and Kelley on the right, and Becky, Crystal, Kling, and Eric will be on defense.

“So, Krieger is basically a pro,” Abby says. “She’s the one you have to look out for. She’s usually a right back, so if you keep it down our right flank, we should be able to avoid her.”

“She’ll play everywhere,” Tyler says. “I mean, she’ll start back there, but she’ll get competitive.”

“That’s true,” Abby says. “Either way, we can get around her.”

“I’ll take care of Krieger,” Tyler says, smirking. Ashlyn doesn’t like his tone of voice, but she narrows her eyes and gets her head in the game.

“Blue crew on three,” Abby says. “One, two three—”

“Blue crew!” the team says, cheering.

When they get onto the pitch, Ashlyn eyes the other side’s line-up. Predictably, Ali is at right back, with Alyssa in goal and Whit, Ryan, and a CIT named Julie filling out the back line. Cheney, Jrue, Adam, and Servando are in the midfield, and Syd and Kyle are playing up top.

It’s the first time Ashlyn’s really gotten to see Ali play, and she’s impressed by her footwork, her speed, and most of all her fearlessness. She’ll slide tackle a guy twice her size without a second thought, and she does it often.

Both teams play well, and Hope makes some key saves that make Ashlyn’s jaw drop, but they end the first half even at 2-2, courtesy of goals from Abby and Carli for the blue and Cheney and Julie for the gold. She understands why they let the CIT start, because she’s probably just as good as Ali, just younger.

At the half, Ashlyn subs in for Hope, Press for Dom, and Moe for Kelley. The other side stays the same at the start of the half, and Ashlyn knows Ali, as captain, will make substitutions very strategically, despite the fact that each side is allowed 10.

Ashlyn is able to relax for a while because her back line, headed up by Becky, is so efficient, but it doesn’t take long for Eric to make a reckless tackle against Syd. It comes as a surprise to nobody when Ali takes the penalty kick. Ashlyn guesses correctly which way she’ll go (to her left, Ashlyn’s right), but the shot is low and goes straight to the bottom corner of the net.

Ali celebrates, perhaps more obnoxiously than she would if it were against anyone else, but Ashlyn is kind of impressed. Plus, she can’t help but feel a little something inside when Ali’s face lights up like that.

The score stays 3-2 until there are about ten minutes left. Tyler makes a run into the box as Moe sends in a cross. Ali goes up to head it away at the same time Tyler jumps to gain control of it. When he does, his height advantage helps him get the ball, but when he comes down, he brings his elbow directly to Ali’s temple. Ali crumples to the ground as Tyler gets the ball to his feet and fires it into the back of the net.

He celebrates as the whistle blows, and Kyle and Ashlyn race toward Ali, who’s lying face down. Kyle gently turns her over, and her eyes are squeezed shut. She’s clutching her head in pain.

“Help!” Ashlyn screams to the other side of the field, where Alex and A Rod are grabbing their First Aid kits. She kneels down beside Ali’s head, and Ali tries opening her eyes, but she can tell the sun isn’t helping matters. “Kyle, stand up, you need to block the sun.” He follows orders, and Ashlyn brushes some of the grass off Ali’s face. “Open your eyes, baby,” she says gently, and Ali slowly blinks them open, finding it hard to focus. “Can you see me?”

Ali nods slowly.

“Good,” Ashlyn says. “Do you know where you are?”

“Camp,” Ali says.

“And today’s date?”

“It’s Saturday,” Ali says. “I don’t know the date.”

Ashlyn realizes she doesn’t know either, so that probably wasn’t a great question. Alex and A Rod come to her side, and Ashlyn finds herself directing them. They have the medical stuff covered, but Ashlyn has seen and dealt with head injuries on plenty of soccer teams over the years, so they default to her knowledge.

Ali reaches for Ashlyn’s hand, and Ashlyn takes hers without question, too focused on Ali’s head to care about much else. “It hurts,” Ali says.

“Of course it does,” Ashlyn says. “But you’re okay. You’re conscious, that’s a plus. Are you dizzy?”

“A little, but it’s getting better,” Ali says. “Everything is still a little blurry.”

“That’s okay, your eyes are really dilated,” Ashlyn says. “I think you’re in a little bit of shock. Just stay still, okay? Take deep breaths.”

Ali takes a few deep breaths, her vision starting to clear and her head pounding less. Tears begin to fall down her cheeks, and Ashlyn wipes them with her free hand.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. “Is something hurting?”

“You don’t hate me,” Ali says, the tears falling faster now.

“Of course not,” Ashlyn assures her.

Kyle rounds up some of the guys to help strap Ali onto a board, per concussion protocol, and lift her to a golf cart where she’ll be taken up front and then to a hospital nearby.

“An ambulance is on its way,” he whispers to Ashlyn, but Ali hears.

“I don’t want to go to the hospital,” she says, shaking. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” Ashlyn promises, squeezing her hand. She has to let go for a moment to let them lift her onto the golf cart, but Ashlyn and Kyle jump into the trailer with her, holding her down so she doesn’t get jostled by the bumpy path.

It only takes ten or fifteen minutes for the ambulance to get there, and Ali dutifully answers their questions. Her symptoms have faded, but now she just complains about the pain, and Ashlyn can feel a bump forming when she tenderly touches the point of impact.

“Okay, let’s load up,” one of the paramedics says. “Who’s riding along?”

“I am!” Kyle and Ashlyn both say.

“She’s my sister,” Kyle says.

“She told me not to leave her!” Ashlyn says.

“She might have brain damage,” Kyle says. “That would explain that, because there’s no way she’d rather have you there than her own family, especially after the way you’ve been treating her the past few days.”

“Enough!” Cap says, breaking them up. “Neither one of you is going because you both have jobs to do. Jobs I pay you for. I have to go for insurance purposes anyway, so you will both stay here. Anyone who needs to know what’s going on will be updated. As needed. Now both of you, step away from her and go back to work!”

Ashlyn steps back, putting her head in her hands. She doesn’t know how she got so caught up, but she doesn’t want to fight with Kyle, and she certainly doesn’t want to put Ali under any more stress, so she backs away, watching as they load Ali into the ambulance. She’ll be okay, she knows that, but as she moves farther from Ashlyn’s reach, Ashlyn can’t help but think back to her dream, because this feels the same.

~

Ashlyn and Kyle kiss and make up (well, hug and make up) on their walk back to the fields, where the game has continued without them, agreeing that the moment got the best of them.

“You were right,” Ashlyn says. “I haven’t been fair to her.”

“No, you have,” Kyle says. “She fucked up. But she’s still my sister, so I still want to protect her when she’s upset.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn says softly. Kyle just nods. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

They don’t hear anything until after dinner, when Cap pages both of them on the walkie talkies to come to the front.

“Between what happened on the field and with the paramedics and then at the hospital, Ali is tired of people talking for her,” Cap says as she guides them into her office, and Ashlyn almost laughs because it’s just so Ali.

“Hi,” she says softly. She’s sitting up, which is a welcome sight. Kyle hugs her, but Ashlyn hangs back, not because she doesn’t want to, but because she looks so fragile. “I have a concussion—a minor concussion. I have medicine for the pain, but I can’t do anything active for a week.”

“Darn, no morning jogs?” Ashlyn says, and Ali glares at her.

“No,” she says. “Thanks for the reminder.”

Ashlyn puts her hands up in defense, and Ali softens. “Anyway, there’s no point in me running sports during that time, because I’d just be sitting on the sidelines, so Cap said she’d switch me with someone else who has experience on the games side.”

“Which is…” Kyle says, but he follows Cap’s and Ali’s eyes to Ashlyn, wondering what he’s missing.

“Whitney worked there her first year as a counselor,” Cap says. “So if it’s alright with you, I thought it would be best to switch her with Ali for the week. And it kind of works out twofold because then you can be my eyes and ears when it comes to keeping tabs on Ali. You’ll be with her in the cabin at night anyway, so for the sake of consistency, it would make the most sense for her to be with you during the day. I normally wouldn’t do this considering the special accommodations I’ve already made for you both, but I trust you’ll be absolutely professional.”

Ali looks at her hands, which are fidgeting in her lap, and Ashlyn realizes the meaning behind what Cap is saying. She has no idea they broke up. And whatever she and Ali discussed on the ride there, at the hospital, and on the ride back, somehow or another, it didn’t come up.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “Of course. That makes sense. I’d be happy to help.”

Kyle looks between her and Ali, not missing the way Ali’s lips curve upwards when she hears Ashlyn agree. Ashlyn, on the other hand, can’t take her eyes off Ali.

Maybe she should have had someone interpret that dream after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTIONS OF COURSE  
> 1\. How much do you love me for posting two days in a row? How much do you hate me for a LOT of the content?  
> 2\. What do you hope to see in the coming days (camp days, not real days—remember, y'all, full-time job)?  
> 3\. Did anything surprise you in this chapter?  
> 4\. What in this chapter made you happiest? What made you angriest? What made you saddest?  
> 5\. FAVORITE LINES!??!!? (Bet you thought you'd escaped it this time, huh?)  
> 6\. Who's your favorite non-Ali/Ash character these days?
> 
> Any changes re: Team Ali/Team Ash? Gotta say, your responses to this last time surprised me!
> 
> (Also, peep the number of comments on the last chapter. That was in less than 24 hours! Do you think it's a coincidence that I'm updating so quickly? Hmm..... I think not!)


	13. Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Ali try to navigate what the rest of the summer has in store for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's DAY 5 of [KRASHMAS](kneatthanks.tumblr.com/tagged/krashmas)!!!

The sun is just breaking through the dark when Ashlyn wakes up to her phone buzzing next to her head. Her mom always tells her not to keep her phone there because she thinks it’ll cause brain cancer. Maybe it will, but Ashlyn doesn’t care all that much when she sees what’s woken her.

“Are you awake?” reads the text from Ali.

“I am now,” Ashlyn replies.

“Sorry. I can’t get back to sleep :(“

“You’re a freak of nature.”

“Will you go on a walk with me?”

“You can walk by yourself.”

“If I go alone I’ll start running and I’ll need someone to stop me.”

“The threat of permanent brain damage and never playing soccer again isn’t enough?”

“Harsh,” Ali replies. The typing bubble pops up again before Ashlyn sees her next message. “But fair point.”

Ashlyn gets out of bed, walking to the bathroom. Now that she’s up, her body is sending her cues to pee. When she comes back out, Ali is still in bed, but watching her.

"So?" Ashlyn whispers.

"So what?" Ali asks.

"Are we going for a walk or what?"

It's still too early for Ashlyn to think, let alone talk, so they walk in silence in their pajamas. Ali wanted to put on running clothes and shoes to make it feel more normal, but Ashlyn had told her she was too tired to run after her and stop her if she took off, and she wasn't taking any chances.

Ali thinks the whole time about what she can possibly say that doesn't involve the breakup. She gives up eventually, resigning herself to the fact that nothing will ever feel normal until they talk about it.

"I told Kyle," Ali says. "About Liz."

Ashlyn cringes. "I know," she says. "I wish I could have told you not to. I changed my mind."

"Why?" Ali asks. "He was annoyed I didn't tell him, but he's not mad. I mean, I don't think he is anyway. Is he?"

"No," Ashlyn says. "I mean, I don't know. I just—it wasn't right to force you into doing something you weren't ready for."

"Sometimes you have to do things you aren't ready for," Ali says.

"No you don't," Ashlyn says. "Try new things, sure, whatever. But only if you want to. I'm just—I'm sorry that I put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with. I should have listened when you said you weren't ready. I should have just known you weren’t ready."

"Are we even having the same conversation right now?" Ali asks gently.

"I think so."

"Really? Because I don't think you're talking about me telling Kyle what I did."

"What else would I be talking about?"

"Us. Having sex."

"Ali."

"I know what you think, but you're wrong and I don't care if you don't believe it. I know you look at me like I'm just...a princess. You think I'm so naive that I couldn't possibly know what I want, and you think what I said to Tyler—before I even met you—is confirmation of that."

"I don't think that," Ashlyn says. "But yeah, I do think we rushed things. And that's what bothers me the most."

"Are you mad at me for rushing things?" Ali asks. "Or are you mad at yourself for letting me?"

"Is this why you wanted to go on a walk?" Ashlyn asks. "Because it's still too early for me to be having this conversation."

"It's a good thing you're stuck with me all week then," Ali says, smiling tightly. "Come on. If I didn't care, I wouldn't bother asking. I don't want to have this conversation any more than you do. But it matters to me that you don't blame yourself. Because I wouldn't take it back for the world. Would you?"

"I don't blame myself," Ashlyn says. "I blame you for making me fall for you so fucking fast."

"And that's a bad thing?" Ali asks, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Yes!" Ashlyn says. "Because I actually gave a damn when we slept together, and I still give a damn now."

"Of course you do," Ali says. "I do too."

"Do you?" Ashlyn asks. "Because no matter how hard I try to make sense of this, I can't figure out why you wouldn't tell me that. Any of it. I know we only spent a week getting to know each other, but I felt like you knew everything about me. And I thought that meant you'd told me just as much about you."

"I wanted you to like me," Ali says. "You wouldn't have told me about the women you'd slept with if I hadn't brought it up."

"Maybe not," Ashlyn says. "But I was vulnerable. We talked about our families, the good and the bad. When I found out what you did, I didn't feel betrayed by my girlfriend, I felt betrayed by my friend. And then I wondered if we were ever friends at all."

"We are friends," Ali says.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Ashlyn pleads. "Why didn't you let me help you? Or at least let me prove to you I care?"

"How did you come out to your best friend?" Ali asks.

"Whitney?" Ashlyn asks. "I don't know, I told her when we moved in together."

"So you're saying you didn't tell her by drunkenly pulling her into your bed when she was just trying to get you safely to sleep?" Ali asks. "And kissing her and telling her you think you might be in love with her? Your way does sound better, I must admit."

"Is that—"

"That's what happened," Ali says. "I was upset about Tyler, and we went out, and I got wasted. I cried in the car all the way to my dad's house, and when we finally got inside, she put me to bed. And I kissed her. My very straight best friend. I pulled her on top of me and probably shoved my tongue down her throat because drunk me is a terrible kisser."

Ashlyn can't imagine Ali being anything less than the most amazing kisser in the world, but she doesn't say so.

 

“Were you?” Ashlyn asks.

“Was I what?”

“In love with her.” 

“No,” Ali says. “Nothing close. I was just finally accepting that I liked girls, and I knew I loved her, just as a friend. It took a while for me to understand the difference.”

“So what did she do?” Ashlyn asks, holding her breath for the answer.

"She stopped it, told me I was drunk, and went to sleep in the guest room," Ali continues. "For the rest of the summer we didn't talk about it. She stopped changing out in the open, and she stopped hugging me. I was self-conscious every time I was with her and other girls in bathing suits. I didn't say anything because I was so embarrassed, and the next time we talked about it was when we got home and she wasn't forced to be in the same cabin as me every night if things got weird."

"Ali," Ashlyn breathes.

"Don't," Ali says. "Don't feel sorry for me. I spent long enough feeling sorry for myself. But yeah. That's why I didn't tell you. And I understand your frustration, I really do. And knowing you like I do now, I should have told you. I know it wouldn't have made you like me any less. But I didn't know that at first."

"Is that why you freaked out on me when I kissed you at truth or dare?"

"Maybe a little," Ali says. "It felt like history repeating itself. I didn't want another summer spent awkwardly avoiding my co-counselor. Clearly that worked out well for me."

As they approach the cabin, Ali walks slower, hoping to extend this one-on-one time with Ashlyn.

“You know what would have solved a lot of problems?” Ashlyn asks. “I mean, other than you telling the truth off the bat?” Ali looks at the ground before looking back up to meet her eyes. She doesn’t sound like she’s trying to hurt Ali, and she doesn’t look like it either. She looks wistful, almost, like she’s trying to figure out how exactly to turn back time and do things better.

“What?” Ali asks.

“Actually being friends,” Ashlyn says. “I—our time together, like, you know… together, was amazing. And I loved every minute of it. Some minutes even more than the rest.” Ali tries not to cringe at her use of the past tense. It’s the first time she thinks she’s heard their relationship spoken about as if it’s really over, and it hurts more than she knew it could. “But you didn’t need a girlfriend this summer, you needed a friend. And I failed you. And maybe I failed myself too, because I probably could have used a friend like you.”

“You have me,” Ali says. “It’s not too late.”

“I don’t mean for this to sound cliche, but I don’t know how to be friends with someone who I’ve been that intimate with,” Ashlyn says. “Because every time you laugh I think about how your laugh turned into a whimper when I touched you just right, and every time I look at your fingers—which is a lot, because you fidget a ton—I remember how they felt inside me, and when you’re talking I can never take my eyes off your lips and I can so vividly remember how they taste, and my heart breaks all over again.”

“What’s worse?” Ali asks, her face hot after hearing Ashlyn’s reasons. “Living in a cabin together for four more weeks while we awkwardly avoid each other and never talk? Or doing our best to be friends? Because I miss talking to you. I miss the porch and laughing about nothing. I miss a lot of other things too, but those things the most. It sucks to lose a girlfriend, but it feels like salt in the wound to lose a friend at the same time.”

“I miss that too,” Ashlyn says.

“This is new to both of us, but we’ll never know if we don’t try,” Ali says. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says. “I’m in.”

Ali’s grin spreads wide across her face, and it takes everything within her not to jump into Ashlyn’s arms and kiss her. “One rule though.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says slowly, trying to read Ali.

“You can’t call me baby,” Ali says. “Not even on accident. I can’t be held responsible for the way I respond when I hear that. I won’t be in control of my actions.”

“Why on earth would I call you that?” Ashlyn laughs.

“You did yesterday,” Ali says. She can tell from the look on Ashlyn’s face that she has no idea what she’s talking about. “When I was hurt. You told me to open my eyes, and you called me baby.”

“That was a mistake,” Ashlyn says. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“I guess technically you’re never thinking straight,” Ali teases, and Ashlyn’s jaw drops in disbelief.

“You did not,” she says, laughing. “Alexandra Blaire, you are a piece of work.”

“Yeah, but like, a piece of artwork,” Ali says, her tongue poking out between her teeth as she smiles, and Ashlyn had a retort prepared, but now she can’t really argue that.

~

Ali can't even get through one morning session without getting a headache, and Ashlyn imagines it could have been way worse out in the hot sun without a body of water to cool her down.

She's practically in tears by the time they break, but she refuses to complain.

"Let me walk you to the infirmary," Ashlyn says. "I have a free period now, I can go get you whatever you need out of the cabin."

"No, I'm okay," Ali says, grimacing. "I'm supposed to meet Kyle in the lounge."

"He's going to agree with me," Ashlyn says, though she doesn't know if it's true. Kyle has been a bit standoffish since their argument, but Ashlyn knows a big part of that is just his concern for Ali. “Right now your best bet is lying down in the dark with someone who knows what they're doing.”

“Do you have any suggestions?” Ali says with a smirk, raising her eyebrows before cringing because it hurts to do that.

“Maybe your head hurts because you have such a dirty mind,” Ashlyn says.

“Yeah, it’s that and not because my fucking asshole of an ex decided it would be a great plan to elbow me in the face in a camp soccer game,” Ali says.

Ashlyn’s blood boils at the mention of Tyler. “Ali,” she sighs.

“I know, he didn’t mean to,” Ali says, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure he doesn’t mind, though.”

“He did,” Ashlyn says. “Mean to do it.”

“Ash,” Ali says. “I know he’s the worst, but I can still be rational.”

“In our huddle,” Ashlyn says. “He said he’d ‘take care’ of you.” She puts air quotes around the part Tyler said. “I thought it was weird, but I didn’t think he’d do that.”

Ali laughs, and Ashlyn looks at her like she’s crazy.

“What’s so funny? He’s evil!”

“I just think it’s funny that I tried to tell you that for weeks, and it takes him actually physically hurting me in front of your eyes to believe me.”

“Ouch,” Ashlyn says, knowing it’s true.

“Just saying,” Ali says. “But hey, live and learn, right? He still would have done it if we were dating.”

“He wouldn’t have gone near you if we were dating,” Ashlyn says. “As soon as he said that I’d threaten his life if he went near you.”

“Hopefully you’d do that now that we’re friends again,” Ali says.

Ashlyn opens the door to the infirmary, where they’re greeted by a rush of air conditioning and A Rod’s smiling face, looking up from a card game she’s playing with her fiance, Adam.

“Hey!” she greets them. “Ali, headache?”

“How’d you know?” Ali sighs defeatedly. She must look worse than she realized.

“I know concussions and I know you,” A Rod says. “Lie down, I’ll get you some meds. Ashlyn, can you please do your best to make sure she doesn’t push herself so hard?”

Ashlyn gives her a guilty smile. “I’ll do my best,” she says. “But I don’t know if you’ve ever tried saying no to her. It’s not easy.”

“Someone’s gotta do it!” Kyle says, breezing into the room. “How did I know I’d find you in here, little one?” He brushes Ali’s hair back with his hand, rolling his eyes toward Ashlyn knowingly. “She did too much, didn’t she?”

“I just did one session of waterfront!” Ali insists. “Not my fault Ashlyn makes it look so easy.”

“Okay, you also challenged Ryan to a kayak race.”

“My arms aren’t my head!” Ali whines. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s one week,” A Rod says. “Your parents would kill me if anything happened to you. You would kill me if anything happened to you to mess up soccer. One week of taking it easy. Cap’s letting you do something because she knows how you get, but you have to pace yourself or else you’ll be stuck in the cabin or in here with me.”

“Or with Press in yoga,” Ashlyn teases, and Ali sticks out her tongue. They’d gone to yoga on a free period one day, and they both struggled, though Ali managed to look like an old pro by the end, as she does with most things. Ashlyn catches a glimpse of a group of guys walking by outside, and her eyes narrow. “Are you all good? I’m gonna go.”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” Ali says, perturbed by Ashlyn’s sudden exit. “See you at lunch?”

“You know it,” Ashlyn says, but she’s already headed out the door. “Tyler!” she calls once the door is closed.

He turns around, a stupid smile plastered to his face. “Ash, what’s up?”

“Don’t call me that,” she says. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” he asks, but the look on her face says it all. “Come on, it was an accident.”

“Was it?” she retorts. “You said you’d take care of her.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t purposefully hurt her,” he says. “Accidents happen.”

“Whether you did it on purpose or not, you still did it,” Ashlyn says. “And honestly, you’ve been doing everything you can to fuck with Ali since I’ve met you. Since before then, even. And I can’t believe I helped you do it. I can’t believe I fell into your trap and let you fuck with me too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Ashlyn says. “From now on, you stay the fuck away from her. Don’t go near her. Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, don’t even think about her. If you want to hurt someone, hurt me. I’d love to see you even try.”

She spins on her heel and storms off, leaving him in shock alone in the middle of the sidewalk.

~

Ali doesn’t make it to lunch, and Ashlyn only sees Kyle briefly when he’s making a plate to bring Ali. She keeps meaning to stop by the infirmary, but the day gets busy, so she doesn’t see her till Alex and Kelley escort her back to the cabin.

Ashlyn’s sitting on the porch alone because Caitlin just went to bed, and she stands up when she sees them walking toward the cabin. “Hey!” she calls softly. “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay,” Ali says. “I slept a lot.”

“You probably needed it,” Ashlyn says.

“She did,” Kelley and Alex say in unison.

“No waking up at 5 tomorrow,” Ashlyn says, and Ali nods solemnly.

“I just want my own bed,” Ali says. “I could sleep a lot more.”

“Got her?” Kelley asks, and Ashlyn nods.

“Thanks, guys,” Ali says. They all say their good nights as Alex and Kelley retreat to their cabin.

“I always knew you were a princess, but the bodyguards proved it,” Ashlyn says, and Ali hits her half-heartedly. “Man, you really must be tired.”

“Shut up,” Ali groans.

Ali gets ready for bed under Ashlyn’s watchful eye, and despite the fact that she feels a bit like she’s being babysat, she likes the special attention. When she’s finally tucked into bed, the only thing stopping her from texting Ashlyn is that she’s supposed to keep away from screens as much as possible for the next week. And it’s a good thing, she realizes, because the only thing she would even be able to think to say, she realizes as she drifts off, is “I can’t sleep, can you come lay with me?”

~

The week proves to be a challenge for both Ali and Ashlyn as Ali learns how to dial down her usual energy levels and Ashlyn navigates this whole “friend” thing.

She goes through several stages of grief, revisiting the denial and bargaining phases the most. Sometimes it’s easy to pretend nothing happened when she and Ali sit on the porch and talk until they’re practically falling asleep in the rocking chairs, neither one wanting to admit defeat and go to bed. Sometimes she negotiates with herself to figure out a way it can work again.

‘If Ali gets to the cabin before me tonight,’ she’ll tell herself. ‘That’s a sign that we should try again.’ She’ll dare herself to ask Ali certain questions or say certain things to get a certain answer, telling herself if Ali answers how Ashlyn thinks she will, they should be together.

She makes the mistake of telling Kelley this one night, and Kelley just looks at her blankly before laughing and saying “if you want to make out with her, just do it, she won’t complain.” Ashlyn’s pretty sure making out is not in the “friend” manual, though.

On Saturday night, Ashlyn and Ali celebrate Ali’s week of recovery with s’mores Ali makes in the kitchen after hours. S’mores are never as good as they are around a campfire, but no moment at camp is ever as good as it is with Ali.

“Next weekend is going to be so much fun,” Ali gushes. Ashlyn squirms a bit at the mention, because she isn’t sure how that would all play out. “You don’t have to wear anything special, really, but we are going out for like drinks and stuff on Friday night.”

“I, uh, I didn’t know if I should still come,” Ashlyn says.

“Are you crazy?” Ali asks. “Of course you’re coming!”

“I just don’t want it to be weird.”

“Um, it would be weirder if you weren’t there,” Ali says, hoisting herself onto the counter and taking a bite of her s’more. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. “I want to, of course. Like, I want to celebrate your birthday with all of you guys, but the overnight stuff…”

“You don’t want to stay at the same house where we basically spent the whole time having sex,” Ali says matter-of-factly.

Ashlyn almost chokes on her graham cracker. “God, Alex!” Ali smiles. “What?”

“I missed hearing you call me that,” Ali says. “I didn’t want to say anything—you know, make it weird. But I like that.”

“I didn’t realize I stopped,” Ashlyn says.

“So back to why you don’t want to spend the weekend with me,” Ali says.

“Not you,” Ashlyn says. “Everyone.”

“But mostly me,” Ali says. “I hate to break this to you, but Whitney is coming. Kyle will be there. Kelley and Alex will be there. HAO, Pinoe, Press, Kling, Becky, Syd… literally all our friends. If you aren’t spending your weekend with us, are you spending it alone?”

“I didn’t really think it through,” Ashlyn mumbles.

“Clearly!” Ali laughs.

“And I haven’t gotten you a present.”

“We’re at camp, of course you haven’t,” Ali says. “Listen. The only present I need is for you to be there. Please?”

Ashlyn searches her face and finds only sincerity. Oh, and those big brown puppy dog eyes that always do her in. “I’d love to.”

Ali smiles contentedly, taking a satisfied bite of her s’more. Ashlyn wants to wipe the smirk off her face, but she loves the way her eyes light up when she gets her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. Predictions??? (Next chapter is the much-awaited BIRTHDAY CHAPTER! There may be some hints in some past chapters of things that could be in store...)  
> 3\. This question was really fun last time: what made you happiest? Saddest? Did anything make you laugh?


	14. Birthday Girl, Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali celebrates her 21st birthday with a little help from her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days?! It must be [KRASHMAS](kneatthanks.tumblr.com/tagged/krashmas)! (Day 6 to be exact)

The week of Ali’s birthday is exactly as Ashlyn expected it would be. On Monday, Ali announces that it’s her birthday week so she should get the first shower when they get back to the cabin in the evening, and it’s all been downhill ever since. Nobody minds, of course, which drives Ashlyn even crazier.

By the morning of Ali’s birthday, Ashlyn thinks she might be more excited than Ali (because it means her reign of terror will finally be over), but Ali would beg to differ.

“Wake up, it’s my birthday!” Ali whispers, placing a hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“Go away,” Ashlyn groans, but Ali will not be deterred.

“My first wish is that you’ll go on a run with me,” she says. “Just three miles, it’ll take like 25 minutes tops.”

“I’m still sleeping.”

“I’m 21,” Ali whines. “Be nice to me.”

“You’re so old,” Ashlyn teases, turning over so she’s on her back. Ali is grinning over her, already dressed in her running clothes. If it were Ashlyn’s birthday, she’d wrap her hands around Ali’s neck and pull her down for a kiss, knowing it’s a bad idea, but knowing she can use the birthday excuse.

But it’s Ali’s birthday, and that’s not an option. Instead, Ashlyn rolls out of bed, much to Ali’s delight, and trudges to the bathroom to brush her teeth before changing into running clothes.

Ali wins the race, though if pressed, Ashlyn would insist she went easy on her because it’s her birthday. But in reality, a week off from her usual activity level didn’t slow Ali down in the least.

“Let’s get coffee before going back,” Ali says, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes, even though she was expecting this. She takes her phone out to text Moe to make sure the girls are all ready. When they get back to the cabin, Ashlyn opens the door for Ali. She peeks through the window first, and the cabin is completely clean. Typically at this point in the morning it’s a complete wreck with the girls all getting ready and picking out clothes to wear, and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to make their beds.

“Surprise!” everyone exclaims when Ali walks in and her hands fly to her face. Hers and Ashlyn’s beds are made as well, and the girls have hung a sign that says “Happy Birthday Ali” across their bunk beds.

“You guys!” Ali exclaims, spinning around to face Ashlyn. “Whose idea was this?”

“It was everyone,” Ashlyn says, nodding to the girls, who are already showered and ready for the day. Truly miraculous.

“Go shower so we can shower you in presents!” Moe says, throwing Ali’s towel at her. Ali laughs.

“I’d hug you all, but I’m all sweaty,” she says.

Ashlyn grabs her towel and follows shortly behind Ali to the bathroom, but when she gets in, Ali is waiting to throw her arms around Ashlyn. “You said you were too sweaty for hugs,” Ashlyn whines.

“I am, but you’re sweaty too and you’re about to shower,” Ali says. “Thank you.”

“What?”

“I know that was you,” Ali says. “You’re the only one who would have thought to tell them that a clean cabin would be the best present.”

“It was a team effort,” Ashlyn insists, but the smile she tries to fight off tells Ali everything she needs to know.

~

At breakfast, Kelley stands on their table to lead the whole camp in a sing-along as Ali shakes her head and buries her face in her hands. Kyle somehow convinces the kitchen staff to make heart-shaped blueberry pancakes, Ali’s favorite, which they present with candles.

Ali’s a princess, that’s for sure, but now that Ashlyn understands Ali more, she doesn’t fault her for it. It’s just really really hard to say no to Ali Krieger. She gets why everyone wants to do things that make Ali smile. She has a beautiful smile, and though Ashlyn doubted it for a while, it really is a reflection of what’s on the inside.

Whitney has been back at waterfront for a few days now, trading back her place with Ali, and Ashlyn is happy to have her, but she can’t pretend she doesn’t miss Ali. Whitney calls her out on it sometimes when Ashlyn talks about something that happened last week, but it’s all in good fun.

“What are you wearing tonight?” Whitney asks her during their period off after lunch. They’re lying on the dock in their bathing suits because the sky is so clear they’d be stupid not to.

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. “We’re just going to that bar, right?” She finds it interesting how she’s been to the same bar with the counselors at least 10 times by now and still doesn’t know the name. She should make a point to learn it.

“It’s Ali’s 21st birthday, we aren’t going to Renegade’s,” Whit laughs. Ah, that does sound familiar. “There’s this place called The Speakeasy that’s a little more swanky and a little classier. Drinks, maybe some appetizers, nothing big because we’ll have dinner here. It’s not like super fancy, but the dress code is definitely a bit different. Wear what you’d wear to Top O,” she suggests, naming a Chapel Hill favorite.

“Jeans and a button-down?” Ashlyn asks.

Whit nods. “Yeah, I’ll probably make Ryan wear something like that. I’m wearing a dress, and I’d assume Ali is planning on wearing something to put everyone else to shame.”

“It would be impossible not to,” Ashlyn says.

“You’ve got it so bad.”

“I do not!” Ashlyn insists. “I can recognize that she’s attractive without having a thing for her.”

“I would agree with most girls,” Whitney says. “But it’s Ali.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Ashlyn says. “I like her as a person and as a friend, and I know she’s beautiful.”

“And you’ve been in a romantic relationship with her,” Whitney says. “There’s something there.”

“And I’m trying really hard to make that stop,” Ashlyn says. “After all that time of not speaking, this friendship is really important to me, and I’m not going to mess it up.”

“Who says it would?” Whit asks. “Who says Ali wouldn’t be willing to give it another go? Sometimes I think she looks at you with more hearts in her eyes than you do.”

“Why do you take such joy in meddling?” Ashlyn groans.

“I just know you’re going to regret not doing anything about it when you leave camp.”

“I’d regret screwing up our friendship more,” Ashlyn says.

“I get it,” Whitney says. “I just know sometimes you need a push, and I wanted to let you know I’m here for you and I’ll support you either way. But if you’re going to be as miserable as you seem just being friends with her, it might not be worth it.”

Ashlyn smiles tightly. She knows Whitney always has her best interest at heart and will tell her the truth even if it’s the last thing she wants to hear, but it isn’t easy to hear your best friend reaffirm what your heart has been telling you forever while your head keeps screaming at you that it’s a terrible idea.

~

All the counselors who have the weekend off sneak out of dinner a few minutes early to avoid the madness of open mic night preparation and shower and get ready for the night. The majority of them are going to Ali’s birthday celebration, so there’s a lot of coming and going between cabins to borrow hair stuff and makeup and clothes.

Springs Lodge, on the other hand, stays mostly quiet, save for Ali singing in the shower. Ashlyn puts on her makeup and throws on a thankfully wrinkle-free white button-down and charcoal jeans (with no holes), letting her hair air-dry naturally. The noise of the blow dryer from the bathroom stops, and Ashlyn can hear Ali humming again.

“Time check?” Ali calls.

“Kelley and Alex should be here in five minutes!” Ashlyn replies.

“Perfect,” Ali says, exiting the bathroom moments later. She’s wearing a short turquoise dress that hugs her hips tightly with matching silver-accented jewelry. Her hair falls straight down her back, she’s rocking a coral lipstick, and her eye makeup makes her eyes look even bigger and more beautiful than usual, and Ashlyn can’t imagine not telling her so.

“You look gorgeous,” Ashlyn says, not even bothering to hide the fact that she’s looking her up and down.

“Thanks,” Ali says, grinning. “You too.” It’s almost a little awkward the way neither one knows what to say or do next. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it), Kelley and Alex burst in at that moment.

“Damn, Krieger!” Kelley exclaims. “You look amazing!”

“As do you, Ashlyn,” Alex says diplomatically. “We’ve been instructed to take your bags. Well, Ali’s. Ashlyn, you can help us.”

“You got it,” Ashlyn says, shoving her phone and wallet in her pockets. She takes her suitcase and Ali’s Kate Spade overnight bag while Kelley grabs her shoe suitcase (yep) and Alex takes her toiletries. The only thing left for Ali to hold onto is her purse. When they get outside, Kyle is waiting in Ali’s car, which is decorated with window paint expressing birthday wishes for Ali.

“Kyle!” Ali exclaims when he gets out to open the passenger side door for her. “You can’t drive down the paths!”

Kyle shrugs. “What Cap doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” He winks. Ashlyn knows he would never disrespect her and that Cap totally gave him the go-ahead. He’s just as hard to say no to when he does the Krieger puppy dog face, and even more so when he’s asking for something for Ali.

Ashlyn loads Ali’s bag into the trunk and closes it. “See you guys in a bit,” she says.

Ali looks confused. “You aren’t coming with me—us?”

“I told Whitney I’d ride with her, Press, and Ryan,” Ashlyn says.

“Oh,” Ali says, looking disappointed. “Okay. See you there?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ashlyn says. “Save me a seat?”

“You got it,” Ali grins.

Of course Ali stays true to her word, but Ashlyn has to admit she doesn’t expect her to save a seat directly to her left. Kyle sits on the other side, and all their friends are already there when Ashlyn arrives. She and Press teased Ryan the whole way for driving like a grandpa, but Whitney just patted him on the shoulder and said she appreciated his caution.

“What are you drinking?” Ashlyn asks, nodding to her martini glass. “I can’t believe I missed your first legal drink!”

“You didn’t,” Ali says. “We were waiting for everyone to get here so Kyle could make a toast. Hurry, order something.” She flags over the waitress, who takes down her order for a whiskey ginger.

When all their drinks finally arrive, Kyle stands up and clears his throat. “Thanks everyone for coming to celebrate our favorite gal’s 21st! Alex, you are the most amazing person I know. You have always been there for me, even when I didn’t think I needed you. You are strong, you are brave, you are beautiful, and you are fearless. Here’s to you, little Kriegs, and a night full of surprises. We love you.” He lifts his water glass to the middle of the table. “Happy birthday, Ali!”

“Happy birthday, Ali!” everyone cheers, clinking glasses.

Ali tastes a sip of her martini before offering some to Ashlyn. “It’s a birthday cake martini, try!”

“Sounds disgusting,” Ashlyn says, but she takes it anyway. “Yep. Awful.”

Ali sticks her tongue out at Ashlyn. “Sorry we can’t all have such a refined palette.”

“You’re the birthday girl,” Ashlyn says. “If you told me to order the sweetest drink on the menu, I would.”

“You’d do that anyway,” Ali teases. Instead of responding with a lie or admitting her weakness, Ashlyn sips her own drink.

Kelley and Alex buy Ali another drink as soon as she finishes her first, and the whole night is essentially like a revolving door of Ali getting drinks she lets everyone try. Ashlyn isn’t even sure she’s had a full drink yet.

“How are you supposed to get drunk at this rate?” she teases, and Ali shrugs.

“I feel good,” she says. “I don’t want to forget this night. So many of my favorite people are all in one place to make me feel special.”

“Like it or not, it’s your 21st birthday, and I’m planning on making Kyle carry you out,” Syd says, ordering a round of tequila shots for herself, Kelley, Alex, and Ali. Ali flinches as she downs the shot, but the rest shoot theirs back like old pros.

“How is it that I’m the only legal one here and the rest of you can drink tequila like it’s nothing?” she laughs.

“Because the life of a college soccer player is lame?” Alex guesses, sipping her beer. “I never see you with red Solo cups in pictures ever.”

“I don’t even think I’ve seen you really tipsy, Kriegs,” Kelley adds. Ashlyn smirks, loving that she has something nobody else does, even if it’s just the memory of tipsy Ali. She’s still never seen her really drunk, though. But she does want Ali to remember tonight if it’s so important to her.

Ashlyn hasn’t drank much since being at camp, so the alcohol hits her more quickly than usual. She makes sure to pace herself so she can still keep an eye on Ali, who drinks everything handed to her, if only a sip or two to be polite.

“Can I get a picture with my perfect baby sis?” Kyle asks, passing his phone to Ashlyn as he pulls Ali by the hand to the wall, which has a beautiful backdrop of sunflowers hand-painted on the wall. “My followers hate when I’m at camp and my pictures start to be less frequent.”

“I’m sure,” Pinoe says, rolling her eyes.

Kyle directs Ashlyn, telling her exactly the angle he wants, and he positions the picture, instructing Ali to make a stone face. “Okay, take it!” Kyle says, and Ashlyn presses the button. The flash goes off, and Kyle groans. “Ugh, no flash!” he says. “My bad.”

Ali rolls her eyes, but Ashlyn does as she’s told. “Better?” she asks, showing Kyle the picture.

“I want one with Ash!” Ali says. “Get my phone out of my purse.”

Kyle finds her phone, and Ashlyn puts an arm awkwardly around Ali’s shoulder, but Ali moves so Ashlyn’s arm is around her waist. She smiles up at Ashlyn and places a sure hand on her stomach. Ashlyn looks down at Ali quickly before the picture is taken, meeting her smile. They both turn back toward the camera, smiling as Kyle snaps what Ashlyn assumes will be the perfect picture, considering he fancies himself such a professional.

Everyone else decides to get in on the pictures, and once everyone’s had their fill of selfies and individual and group pictures, they sit back down, drinking and laughing and adding filters (Kyle). Their waitress brings out everyone’s individual tabs, which Kyle must have asked for, along with a small cake with a burning candle in it.

“Happy birthday to you,” Kyle leads the group in singing. When the song is over, Ali’s face is brighter than ever, lit by the flame, and she leans over, closing her eyes to blow it out. When she opens her eyes, she turns immediately to smile at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn’s reaction is instinctive. As everyone cheers, she mirrors Ali’s smile and rests a hand on her knee. “Happy birthday, baby,” she says.

Nobody can see Ali squeeze the hand that’s on her knee, but they do see how Ali abruptly stands up from the table. “Everyone dig in! I have to go to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back.” She walks toward the back of the restaurant, and everyone looks at Kyle, who looks at Ashlyn, who shrugs.

“Come to think of it, so do I,” Ashlyn says, standing up. Her legs feel like jelly and the room is spinning as she follows in Ali’s footsteps down the dimly lit hallway to the bathroom. Maybe she was reading the signs all wrong. Maybe Whitney was completely off the mark. Maybe she just ruined Ali’s birthday.

When she reaches the bathroom, which might be almost as nice as the bathrooms at Ali’s dad’s house, one of the stalls is closed, and she assumes Ali is inside. “Ali?” she calls.

Ali opens the door. “Call me the other thing,” she says.

“Alex?” Ashlyn says. “I’m so—”

“Not that,” Ali says, stepping closer to place her hands on Ashlyn’s chest. “The other thing. The thing you just called me out there.”

“Baby,” Ashlyn breathes, tilting her head down to capture Ali’s awaiting lips with her own. Her hands land on Ali’s waist, and Ali’s hands move up so her arms are wrapped around Ashlyn’s neck. When Ashlyn breaks away and opens her eyes, Ali’s are still closed.

“Again,” Ali says without opening her eyes, so Ashlyn kisses her again. Ali whimpers into the kiss, and when Ashlyn pulls back, Ali finally opens her eyes to reveal the tears that have formed.

“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks. “Oh my God. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“Stop,” Ali says, her hands dropping down to clasp Ashlyn’s. “I’m not upset. I just—I think I had given up hope of ever kissing you again, and I’m just… overwhelmed, I think.”

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” Ashlyn says. “Before that, really. I just didn’t want to screw up the whole friendship thing.”

“Well I’m about to screw it up a lot more,” Ali sighs, looking down at their interlocked fingers.

The color drains from Ashlyn’s face. “Alex,” she says.

“I love you,” Ali says, looking Ashlyn in the eye.

“You what?” Ashlyn breathes. That was the last thing she expected to hear.

“I love you,” Ali says. “And I know the timing is wrong and this is bad and we aren’t even anything right now, but I love you and I need you to know that.”

Ashlyn is speechless, and she has to remind herself that even though it feels like time has stopped for her, it probably feels like it’s moving, just torturously slow, for Ali. “I love you too,” Ashlyn says. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Ali says again, a grin spreading across her face. “God, it feels so good to say that.”

Ashlyn kisses her again, this time with a lot more vigor and passion and a little more tongue. She lifts Ali so she’s sitting on the bathroom counter, and Ali’s hands tangle in Ashlyn’s hair as she tries to pull her even closer, nipping at her neck.

Ashlyn feels drunker than she did before, but somehow more sober at the same time. Whatever fog had been clouding her head for the past few weeks is finally lifted, but kissing Ali again makes her dizzy and weak in the knees.

Ali’s hands slide under Ashlyn’s shirt, her fingers digging into the warmth of her back. Ashlyn reciprocates by sliding her hands along the outside of Ali’s thighs, her fingers slipping beneath the hem of her dress.

Ali pulls away, breathless, and takes her hands away, moving them to cup Ashlyn’s face. “Not here,” she says. Ashlyn nods quickly, helping Ali off the counter. “Let’s go home.”

“Aren’t we going out dancing?” Ashlyn asks.

“The only person I want to dance with is the same person I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of if we did go dancing,” Ali says. “And I want you naked sooner rather than later, please.”

“If you insist,” Ashlyn teases. She turns to check herself in the mirror, making sure there are no stray lipstick marks on her face. “Good thing I didn’t let you spend any more time here,” she says, pointing to a spot on her neck that has the faintest remnants of a bite mark from Ali that could have easily turned into a hickey if given the chance.

Ali giggles, kissing the spot lightly. She runs a hand through her hair and buries her face in Ashlyn’s chest. “I love you,” she says again, and Ashlyn doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of hearing that.

Ali returns to the table before Ashlyn to see the cake hasn’t been touched. Kyle looks concerned. “Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, perfect,” Ali says, kissing him on the cheek. “Don’t be mad, but can we just go home? I really want to go out tomorrow night, but I’m so exhausted from camp.”

“Of course,” he says. “You’re the birthday queen!”

Ashlyn comes back to the table, trying her best not to look at Ali because she isn’t quite sure how to look at her in front of everyone without telling them everything that happened.

“Kyle’s going to drive me home,” Ali says. “You’re all welcome to come straight to the house with us or go out and come back later, whatever you want. You all know the garage code to get in, right?” Everyone confirms they do, and they all set out to rearrange cars.

“We’re going to go out, but we’ll ride with Alex and Syd,” Kelley tells Kyle.

“Ash, are you coming out?” Whitney asks.

“Did that a long time ago, where have you been?” Ashlyn jokes.

Whitney is unimpressed, having heard that one plenty of times before. “Are you riding with us or not?”

“I think I’m going to head back to Ali’s,” Ashlyn says, glancing at Ali, who nods.

“Yeah, there’s plenty of room in my car,” Ali says.

Tobin, Kling, Crystal, and Pinoe decide to go out while HAO and Becky, as well as Cheney, A Rod and their respective significant others opt to turn in early, and everyone divides into their respective cars, ensuring that there are enough designated drivers to go around.

Jrue also decides to go home, but Ali insists he ride with them because Adam’s car is pretty full and Kyle could use another guy to hang out with. It also gives her an excuse to sit in the backseat with Ashlyn.

“I love you,” she whispers into Ashlyn’s ear when they start driving, kissing her softly on the cheek.

“What are you talking about?” Kyle asks. “I want to be in the loop!”

“Just talking about how wonderful my birthday was,” Ali lies effortlessly. “Thank you so much for everything.”

“Was?” Kyle laughs. “Oh honey, it’s not over! This whole weekend is all about Ali, just the way you like it.”

“I do not,” Ali whines, blushing.

“Oh well, it’s too late for me to take back any of the surprises I have planned now,” Kyle says.

When they pull into Ali’s driveway, there’s another car there. “I guess someone beat us,” Ali says. She stumbles slightly getting out of the car in her heels, and Kyle catches her.

“You go inside, we’ll take care of your bags,” Kyle says. “You too, Ash, just make sure she gets upstairs. I know you know where her room is.”

“Thanks for that,” Ashlyn says dryly, trying to hide her smirk.

Ali kicks off her shoes when they get inside, but of course, being the perfect hostess she is, makes sure the living room and guest rooms downstairs are all set up with beds and pillows and blankets for her guests before going upstairs. Halfway up the stairs, she stumbles, and Ashlyn catches her, making her giggle.

“I love you,” Ali says, and Ashlyn responds by kissing her before pulling her up the stairs. When they reach the top, Ashlyn lifts Ali so her legs wrap around Ashlyn’s waist, her dress bunching up around her upper thighs. Ashlyn pins her against the wall, kissing her neck, but something distracts Ali.

“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks, setting her down.

“My bedroom light is on,” Ali groans. “I’m not sober enough to remember who stayed here last, but when I figure it out, they’re going to get an earful.”

Ashlyn is pretty sure it was Ali, actually, but she doesn’t say so, instead following Ali to her room, which is open just a crack.

Ali stops just outside the doorway, turning to smile at Ashlyn. “I know you aren’t supposed to tell people what you wish for so you don’t jinx anything, but since mine came true so quickly, I guess I can. When I blew out that candle earlier, I was wishing for you.”

“Baby,” Ashlyn murmurs, kissing Ali’s temple. Ali winces because the spot is still tender from the elbow incident, but she’s still smiling. “I love you.”

“Thank God,” Ali says, turning back around to push her door open.

It quickly becomes clear to both Ashlyn and Ali that the light being on was not the fault of whoever last stayed in the house, but instead the girl sitting cross-legged on Ali’s bed, flipping through the pages of a magazine. She looks up when they walk in, grinning.

“Happy birthday, Alex!” she exclaims, jumping up to hug a shell-shocked Ali.

“Liz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where to even begin?!?!
> 
> 1\. Favorite line? (Duh, that's always a great place to start!)  
> 2\. What part made you HAPPIEST? Saddest? Most surprised?  
> 3\. Did anything make you laugh? :)  
> 4\. Favorite characters other than Ali/Ashlyn?  
> 5\. Dun dun dun... PREDICTIONS?!!?


	15. Happiness Looks Good on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali's birthday weekend continues with a visit from a special guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry [Krashmas](kneatthanks.tumblr.com/tagged/krashmas) everyone! And it's day 13! Who can tell me why this day in particular is so important and one of the best of the month—nay—year?

Ashlyn watches as Ali embraces this girl, the one she’s heard so much about but never met. The one she’s seen pictures of, but never seen up close. The one Ali thought she was in love with only a year ago.

“Liz, this is Ashlyn,” Ali says, stepping into the room with Ashlyn close behind. “She’s my—”

“Surprise!” Kyle says, dropping the bags in the hallway. “Ugh, I wanted to see your reaction!”

“Hey, Kyle,” Liz says, moving past Ashlyn to give him a hug. “Jrue!” She gives him a hug as well.

“So, are you surprised?” Kyle asks expectantly.

Ali nods, her eyes still wide from the shock. “Definitely,” she says. “How did this happen?” She glances at Ashlyn, whose hands are in her pockets as she looks at the ground.

“I was planning on coming to Visiting Day to surprise you, but I had an event for work,” she says. “I work for a senator in DC,” she tells Ashlyn. “And I’m really sorry, I feel so rude for not introducing myself, but I feel like we’re already friends, I’ve heard so much about you! I’m Liz.”

Ashlyn smiles. “Nice to meet you,” she says.

“Anyway, I was going to ride up with your parents, then that obviously didn’t work out,” Liz continues, and all Ashlyn can thinks is ‘thank God.’ “They told Kyle what happened, so he called me the day after and told me the plans for your birthday, and I obviously wanted to come. I just couldn’t leave till after work today, and you know DC traffic, especially at rush hour, so I just got here like half an hour ago.”

“She texted me and told me she was going to get ready to meet us out, and then like five minutes later you said you wanted to go home,” Kyle says. “I had to get creative, but no sweat. You just owe me.”

“Noted,” Ali laughs.

“I know you’re really tired, so we can just go to bed,” Liz says. “I was in the car for like six hours anyway.”

Ali looks at Ashlyn, who’s biting the inside of her cheek. “Um, I think I’ve definitely gotten my second wind,” Ali says, the wheels in her head spinning as she tries to come up with any reason to get them all out of her bedroom, the most awkward place possible. “Are you hungry? We can order pizza or something.”

“I am a little,” Liz says.

“Okay,” Ali says. “Kyle, can you call? Did you bring a bathing suit? Maybe we can go hang out in the hot tub with everyone.”

“I didn’t,” Liz pouts.

“That’s fine!” Ali says quickly. “I have extras in the laundry room if you want to grab one.”

“Perfect!” Liz says. “Sounds fun.” She hugs Ali again. “I’m so happy to see you again.”

“Me too,” Ali says, picking up her overnight bag and throwing it on her bed. Ashlyn closes the door behind them as Jrue and Kyle go back downstairs. “Ashlyn, I’m so sorry, I had no idea she’d be here.”

“No, it’s fine,” Ashlyn says. “You couldn’t have known. It’s not a problem. Right?”

“I don’t think so,” Ali says, though admittedly she isn’t really sure.

“She said she heard a lot about me,” Ashlyn starts.

“We’ve Skyped a few times,” Ali says. “And we text every once in a while.”

“So does she know…”

“Not really,” Ali says. “I’m sorry, I promise I wasn’t trying to hide anything, I just—”

“It’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “I just wanted to know what she knows.”

“She accepts me and she loves me,” Ali says. “And she’ll love you too. It’s just weird for me to talk about that sort of thing with her after everything that happened.”

“I get it,” Ashlyn says. “I guess our grand reunion will just have to wait.” She smiles and kisses Ali so she’ll know it’s really okay. “Kinda wish Kyle had given me a heads up, though.”

“Same,” Ali laughs.

“And when you were introducing me earlier,” Ashlyn says. “What were you going to say? I’m your what?”

“I was going to say co-counselor,” Ali admits. “I didn’t want to say anything else because we hadn’t talked about it.”

“Do we need to?” Ashlyn asks. “Because I’m really tired of gray areas and walking on eggshells.”

“Me too,” Ali agrees. “I want it all with you, though. I want to hold your hand and kiss you in public—or at least in front of our friends when we aren’t at camp. I want to drive eight hours just to see you for a weekend and fall asleep talking to you on Skype. I want to take you up on that Disney offer—”

“That reminds me,” Ashlyn says, bending down to unzip her suitcase. On the top is a pink envelope that says “Princess” on top. “I never gave you your birthday present.”

“Stop it,” Ali says, taking the envelope and sliding her finger beneath the flap. The card has a picture of a toddler with a pink boa and a tiara, and Ali rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Of course,” she says. When she opens it, a small piece of paper falls out. Ashlyn had Becky’s help in making it with her art supplies, but it’s a laminated card that guarantees Ali one weekend trip to Disney whenever she wants to cash in. “This is too much, you shouldn’t have.”

“What are friends for?” Ashlyn teases.

“Don’t you mean girlfriends?” Ali asks, standing on her tiptoes to kiss Ashlyn. “Thank you, baby. I’m really excited.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn says. “I love you.”

“Yeah?” Ali says, smiling. “I appreciate the reminder.”

Liz knocks on the door before peeking in. “You guys decent?” she asks. She’s wearing a pink bikini that Ashlyn has seen Ali wear in old Instagram pictures, but her lower half is wrapped in a towel. “You aren’t even in bathing suits yet? Slackers.”

“Sorry, we got distracted,” Ali says, holding up the card. “Ashlyn forgot to give me my birthday present.”

“Looks like you gave her one, though,” Liz says, raising her eyebrows and nodding toward Ashlyn. “I can’t figure out who rocks the coral lip better because it’s a little smeared on you both.”

Ashlyn’s hand flies to her mouth, as if covering it now will salvage anything.

“I was going to tell you,” Ali starts, but Liz shakes her head.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I kind of figured something was going on. You tagged her in some pictures on Instagram and I was worried you were trying to replace me as your best friend, so I may have creeped a little.”

“Nobody else knows right now,” Ali says, and Liz looks concerned. “I mean, they know about us, but—” She looks at Ashlyn, who doesn’t offer any help. “We broke up and we just got back together. Tonight.”

“Oh,” Liz says. “Oh God, and now I’m interrupting whatever you were planning on doing when you got back. Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’ll just—”

“No!” Ashlyn says. “It’s okay. I’m really glad you’re here. I’ve heard a lot about you, so I’m glad I actually get the chance to meet you.” She leaves out the part about how technically Liz was one of the reasons they broke up in the first place.

“Are you sure?” Liz asks, looking between them.

“As long as you don’t mind crashing with Kyle and letting us have this room,” Ali says, making Ashlyn blush.

“Absolutely,” Liz agrees, smiling. “Man, Kriegs. Happiness looks good on you.”

~

As expected, it doesn’t take much to convince everyone else to join them in the hot tub, though the guys quickly get bored and decide to play chicken and do relay races in the pool instead while the girls chat, drinking wine and eating pizza.

“This is the life,” Liz says, taking a particularly cheesy bite. “I’ve missed you guys so much!”

“Blue team could have used you in the counselor soccer tournament,” Becky says. “Maybe then Ali wouldn’t have ended up with a concussion.”

“What?” Liz exclaims. “What happened?”

“Tyler,” everyone says in unison, and Liz groans.

“Fuck that guy,” she says. “I’m Team Ashlyn.”

Ali looks around the hot tub to see everyone’s reaction. Cheney shifts uncomfortably, A Rod and Becky pretend to be engrossed in a conversation about wine, and HAO looks at Ali.

“Me too,” Ali says, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand under the water. That gets Becky and A Rod’s attention. “We, uh, we’re back together,” she says.

“You’re what?” Kyle asks, swimming up to rest his arms on the barrier between the hot tub and the pool.

“You can say I told you so, I don’t care,” Ali says.

“Duh,” Kyle says. “That picture I took of you two earlier where you were staring into each other’s eyes? I knew you’d thank me later.”

“What?” Ashlyn asks. “We weren’t—”

“You were,” Cheney and A Rod say at the same time, high fiving each other when they realize they were on the same page.

“Whatever,” Ali laughs. “You guys were right, we were wrong. It’s fine.”

“Is it too soon to ask what happened to make you break up in the first place?” Liz asks.

Everyone looks at each other. “Tyler,” they all agree again. Ali knows eventually she’ll have to tell Liz everything, but it’s her birthday, and tonight she’s just going to leave it at that.

~

Everyone eventually changes into pajamas and retires to the living room, which Jrue and Adam have claimed as their own (after being kicked out of one of the guest rooms and relegated to the pull-out couch by Cheney and A Rod). They settle in on couches around the room and choose a movie on Netflix, some action thing that appeases everyone, Liz and Kyle sharing a couch and fighting over blankets like the almost-siblings they are.

Ashlyn and Ali take a loveseat, where Ashlyn wraps Ali in her arms beneath Ali’s favorite enormous, heavy blanket. When the counselors who went out start trickling back in, they overlook the two girls cuddling in the love seat. That is, until Whitney walks in.

When she gets into the living room, she scans the room till her eyes land on Ashlyn, whose lips are attached to Ali’s. “Ashlyn Harris!” Whitney exclaims, and Ashlyn jumps away from Ali, alarmed at being caught in the dark with everyone else paying such close attention to the movie. Ashlyn can feel Ali’s chest get warmer, and if it wasn’t so dark, she’d be able to see her blushing.

“What’s going on?” Kelley asks, stumbling behind her. She zeroes in on what Whitney sees and gasps. “When?” she demands.

Ali buries her head in Ashlyn’s chest, embarrassed.

“Since we sang happy birthday,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Ha!” Kelley exclaims, turning to Alex. “You owe me.”

“You did not have a bet going on us,” Ali groans.

“Liz?” Whitney says, finally seeing her. “What are you—”

“Surprise!” Liz says, standing up to hug Whitney. When she hugs her, Whitney looks at Ashlyn with concern, but Ashlyn seems to be doing pretty fine for herself. She watches as Ali whispers something in Ashlyn’s ear and they both stand up.

“We’re going to bed,” Ali says, blushing again at the way it sounds coming out of her mouth and the way everyone wiggles their eyebrows and whistles.

“Love you,” Whitney says, hugging Ashlyn as she leaves the room.

Ali stops to kiss Kyle goodnight and hug Liz before she leaves. “Thanks for coming,” she says. “It really means a lot.”

~

When Ashlyn and Ali get back to Ali’s room, Ali finally takes the time to stand on her tiptoes and wrap her arms around Ashlyn, opening her mouth immediately to welcome Ashlyn’s tongue. She moans into it as Ashlyn slides her hands up her back.

Ali backs up till the back of her legs hit her bed, pulling Ashlyn along with her. Ashlyn separates from her as Ali slides onto the bed, tugging her tank top off.

“This feels kind of like a wedding night,” Ali says, catching Ashlyn off guard. She laughs when she sees Ashlyn’s reaction. “I mean, I just always thought growing up how weird it would be on your wedding night for everyone in your life to know you’re having sex. And that’s kind of how it is with everyone downstairs right now.”

“It’s your birthday,” Ashlyn says. “Birthday sex should be the expectation.” Instead of giggling and going back to kissing her like Ashlyn expects, Ali freezes. She realizes too late she’s reacted, and Ashlyn sighs. “It was your birthday, wasn’t it?”

Ali nods, then shakes her head as if trying to erase the memory from her mind like she would an Etch-a-Sketch. “Not now,” she says, pulling Ashlyn down for another kiss.

“You sure?” Ashlyn asks. “I know it kind of threw you off that she was here, and we didn’t really get to talk about it.”

“Trust me,” Ali says. “Talking is the last thing I want to be doing with you right now.”

~

Ashlyn wakes up in the morning to the incessant dinging of her phone.

“Make it stop,” Ali groans, rolling over to cuddle into Ashlyn’s side.

“Sorry,” Ashlyn whispers, fumbling for her phone on the bedside table. She has eight texts from Kyle.

_Making breakfast in bed for Ali so you better be dressed._

_Consider this your only warning._

_Ashlyn!!!!!!!!_

_Ashlyn I really don’t want to see my baby sister naked._

_WAKE UP_

_Oh my God you’re going to regret this._

_Should I periscope it for all my fans?_

_ASHLYN HARRIS._

“You might want to put a bathrobe on,” Ashlyn says, rolling out of bed to find one (preferably two) in the bathroom.

“Come back,” Ali whines. “I haven’t had enough.”

“You certainly have!” Kyle calls from outside the door. “These walls are not nearly thick enough.”

Ashlyn throws Ali a pink bathrobe, which she quickly puts on while Ashlyn ties a white one around her waist. “Come in!” Ashlyn calls, and Liz and Kyle waste no time in bursting through the door with a tray for breakfast. Ashlyn reaches for a strawberry, but Kyle slaps her hand away.

“Um, are you the birthday girl?” he asks. “Didn’t think so.”

“Okay, but technically Ali isn’t either,” Ashlyn says, quickly grabbing a strawberry and popping it into her mouth before Kyle can react.

“What do you want to do today, Princess?” Kyle asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Ali rolls her eyes, seeing Ashlyn’s smug look out of the corner of her eye. “Will that nickname ever stop?” she groans.

“Nope,” Kyle says. “The whole day is yours. Everyone downstairs is being lazy, but we can make them do anything.”

“Honestly, I kinda thought Liz and I could go into town and just catch up,” Ali says, looking at Ashlyn as if for permission.

“Um, that's fine with me,” Liz says, looking at Ashlyn as well.

“That sounds perfect,” Ashlyn says, despite how her stomach leaps. “Kyle and I will keep ourselves occupied, right?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Kyle says, noting Ashlyn’s slight discomfort.

Ali leans over to kiss Ashlyn on the cheek, leaving a tiny bit of whipped cream (courtesy of Kyle’s famous waffles) behind.

“Get a room,” Kyle groans.

“Um, had one till you interrupted,” Ali retorts.

“So unappreciative,” Kyle sighs. “Fine, we’ll leave you to it. But I'm only giving you long enough to shower and get ready before I come back.”

“Which could be like three hours knowing Alex,” Liz laughs, following him out the door. Ashlyn’s stomach tightens a little at the nickname.

“Don't worry,” Ali says, squeezing Ashlyn’s knees. “We know how to multitask in the shower.”

~

Ali and Liz spend the morning at their favorite coffee shop in town, sitting at a table out front where they can people-watch and catch up on everything they’ve missed. Liz tells Ali about her job and the horrible dates she’s been on lately, and Ali tells Liz about everything she’s been missing at camp from Color War to camper drama to—of course—counselor hookups.

They avoid the topic they both so badly want to discuss until finally Liz goes for it.

“So,” she says. “Ashlyn.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali repeats. “Yeah.”

“What’s the story?” Liz asks. “I mean, like, I figured. But what happened? Why did you break up? Why are you back together?”

“We’re back together because I love her,” Ali says, noting the look of surprise in Liz’s eyes. “I know it seems crazy, but it’s been six weeks of nonstop—well, mostly nonstop—togetherness and getting to know each other, and I’ve never been so sure of anything.”

“And Tyler?”

“He’s the reason we broke up kind of,” Ali says. She starts from the beginning, when Ashlyn took her bed, and walks her through it all, sugarcoating nothing, but glossing over some of the parts where they’re naked. “So, here we are.”

“Oh,” Liz says. “So she hates me.”

“Of course not,” Ali says. “She doesn’t know you.”

“I’d hate someone if they were best friends with someone they claimed to be in love with just a year ago,” Liz says gently. Ali is silent. “I know we never really talked about it, but I knew you weren’t. I knew you were hurt over the Tyler thing, and I had no idea you were even dealing with an identity crisis—”

“It’s not a crisis,” Ali says.

“Not now,” Liz says. “But at the time you were struggling to figure out who you were, as your best friend I should have been there for you. I wish you would have let me be there for you instead of letting it all build up and explode like that.”

“I know,” Ali says. “I made a lot of mistakes, and I owe you an apology for dragging you into it.”

“No you don’t,” Liz says. “I owe you an apology for not paying close enough attention to realize something was up, and especially for being so weird after it happened.”

“I wasn’t in love with you,” Ali says. “You know, just to clarify.”

“I know,” Liz says. “But you’re really in love with Ashlyn.”

“I am.”

“Good,” Liz says. “You deserve to be this happy. And Tyler deserves to rot in hell for what he did to you.”

“In the end, it all brought me back to where I needed to be,” Ali says. “God, that’s corny.”

“A little,” Liz says. “But I’m glad. And I’m really glad we can be completely honest with each other now. I’ve missed my best friend.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Ali says. “And I know you are going to love Ashlyn just as much as I do when you get to know her a little more.”

“I already love her for making you this happy,” Liz says. “But maybe not quite as much as you do. That might be an awkward love triangle.”

~

Back at the house, the counselors tidy up the house before laying out by the pool, all surmising about what they’re going to do later, even though in the end they know it’s up to Ali.

“It’s weird that we’re doing this on our day off when this is literally what we get paid to do at camp all summer,” Alex says.

“Yeah, but at work we don’t have margaritas,” Syd reminds her, lifting her glass to her lips.

“Speak for yourself,” Pinoe jokes.

“Who made margaritas?” Ali asks, walking outside with a glass in hand. “Because you’re my new best friend.”

“Kelley, of course,” Press says. “Alex helped.”

“I mostly drank the tequila while she operated the blender,” Alex says.

“I’m thankful either way,” Ali says, sitting on Ashlyn’s lounge chair by her feet. “Hey, you.”

“Hey yourself,” Ashlyn says, sitting up to peck her on the lips. “Where’s Liz?”

“Upstairs getting a bathing suit,” Ali says, her hand running over Ashlyn’s hip, where her board shorts hang low. “What’d you do while I was gone?”

“Kyle and I talked about you,” Ashlyn says.

“Good things, I assume.”

“Naturally,” Ashlyn answers. “Are you going to get a bathing suit on?”

“I was thinking about it,” Ali says, lowering her voice. “I also thought maybe you could keep me company upstairs while I pick one out. I have a lot, so it could take a while.”

Ashlyn looks around, and nobody seems to be paying attention, so she nods.

“Good,” Ali whispers. “When Liz comes down, come to my room. I’ll be waiting for you.” She kisses Ashlyn softly on the lips, taking her margarita with her as she goes back inside.

Ashlyn clears her throat, but nobody seems to have noticed what is transpiring within her mind right now as it races with thoughts of last night and a naked Ali at the ready. What princess wants, princess gets.

As soon as Ashlyn sees Liz approaching the sliding glass door, she stands up, making her way inside. She holds the door for Liz, who smiles.

“Hey,” Liz says. “Can we talk for a minute?” She looks at all the people outside. “Alone?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ashlyn says, trying not to act as fidgety and impatient as she feels.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m really happy you and Ali are good. She’s the best, and she’s had a rough few years with everything that happened with Kyle and then Tyler and then, well, me. And she deserves so much better.”

“I agree,” Ashlyn says.

“We had a long talk about you, and I know that her feelings are very real,” Liz says. “I’m excited to see her in a place where she feels that confident and open about things that are going on inside, because she didn’t for a long time. I just want you to know how special that is.”

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “I really love her.”

“I can see that,” Liz says. “I’m not going to do the typical ‘take care of her, don’t hurt her’ thing because I’m sure Kyle has that taken care of, I just want to tell you I’m rooting for you both, and I really look forward to getting to know you more now that we’re going to be like BFF by association.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Ashlyn says. “Thanks.” She smiles, a genuine, warm smile for the first time since meeting Liz. It might take a while to get over her skepticism and initial dread of ever meeting this girl, but the more she talks to her and sees her as a person, the more she likes her.

“That’s all, sorry, I know you were on your way to do something,” Liz says, starting back toward the door. “Oh, dammit! I left my phone upstairs.” She heads back toward the stairs, getting all the way to the top before Ashlyn realizes she isn’t heading for the laundry room. She races after her, but it’s too late to stop her. “Alex?” she calls, knocking on the door, but it’s just courtesy because she opens the door as she knocks before gasping and slamming the door shut again. Her face is bright red, and she looks at Ashlyn, who gives her a guilty smile, shrugging. 

She opens the door just enough to slip through, leaving Liz blushing and mortified in the hall, and then opens it again, sticking her arm out. “Here’s your phone.”

~

Ali claims she isn’t much for PDA, but Ashlyn questions that when so much of their time together (when they aren’t at camp, of course) is spent attached at the lips—or with Ali’s arms hanging around Ashlyn’s body loosely, like they are now around her waist.

They went to dinner, where Ali made Kyle promise there would be no birthday song or free dessert, working up a decent buzz before landing at this piano bar, where two musicians are putting on a show. Ali’s hips move to the beat of a familiar rock song as she peppers kisses along Ashlyn’s jaw while Ashlyn nurses a Jack and Coke. It doesn’t take much to get Ali to a point where is overly affectionate with everyone, but when Ashlyn is around, she takes it to another level entirely.

Kyle steps up to the stage and beckons one of the musicians to him with a finger wave and a flirtatious smile. Ali rolls her eyes as he walks back to the table with a smirk.

“What did you do?” she asks.

“You mean besides getting his number?” Kyle teases, lifting up a napkin with marker scrawled across it. “Nothing.”

When the song is over, the same guy leans into his mic. “So I hear we have a birthday girl in the house. Ali? Where are you?”

Ali buries her head into Ashlyn’s neck as the rest of the counselors cheer, pointing at her. Finally, she reluctantly raises her hand.

“There she is!” he announces. “Happy birthday, Ali. This one’s for you from your favorite brother. Or so he says.”

He starts playing one of Ali’s favorite songs from her childhood, “Brown-Eyed Girl,” which her dad used to sing to her all the time, spinning her around the living room. Ashlyn hums along in her ear, holding Ali tightly with her back to Ashlyn’s chest, and the song is special in a whole new way.

“I love you,” Ashlyn whispers, kissing her cheek.

“Can we just stay like this forever?” Ali asks, leaning her head back onto Ashlyn’s shoulder so she’s looking up at her. Ashlyn kisses her lips, too red and wine-stained to resist. “Camp is going to end too soon.”

“Don’t say that,” Ashlyn says, her hand finding Ali’s arm and rubbing it to provide comfort. “This is a good moment, don’t ruin it.”

Liz bumps Ashlyn’s hip with her own. “Hey, get a room, you two,” she teases. 

“Do you want to?” Ali asks. “I wouldn’t mind getting an Uber.”

“It’s only midnight,” Ashlyn says. “I’m up for whatever you want, but I thought you wanted to hang out with everyone here.”

“Well I changed my mind,” Ali says. “I’m ready to go.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn says, releasing Ali from her grasp and threading her fingers loosely through Ali’s. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Ali says. “Just want to be alone with you.”

They say their goodbyes, and nobody bothers saying they will split the Uber, instead letting them get a head start.

Ali is quiet while they wait on the curb, and Ashlyn takes her cue, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and kissing the top of her head silently. She opens the door for Ali when the Uber arrives, sliding in after her and placing a hand on top of Ali’s.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Ashlyn asks quietly.

“It’s been perfect,” Ali says. “I’m sorry I’m being a downer now, I just—” She takes a long breath. “I’m okay.”

“You don’t have to say you’re okay if something’s bothering you,” Ashlyn says. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but I don’t want you to lie to me or to yourself. If something’s upsetting you, you can talk about it. If you want to.”

“Well I don’t, so can you drop it?” Ali snaps. Ashlyn must look as wounded as she feels, because Ali softens, taking Ashlyn’s hand and holding it silently the whole way home.

Ashlyn holds the door for Ali when they arrive, taking her hand to help her out of the car and punching in the code to the garage door because Kyle has the key. She doesn’t say anything as she follows Ali upstairs to her room, where Ali closes the door before she starts kissing Ashlyn’s neck, draping her arms around her neck.

“Whoa, back up,” Ashlyn says, pulling away. “We’re not going to talk about that?”

“I said I didn’t want to,” Ali says.

“Yeah, but you snapped at me,” Ashlyn says. “I love kissing you, and I definitely love whatever this is leading up to, but mainly I love you, and if you’re upset about something, I want to make it better.”

“You can’t,” Ali says. “It happens every summer, it’s just considerably worse this year.”

“What happens?”

“Everything feels perfect for a split second, and then all I can think about is how it’s going to be over soon,” Ali says, her eyes filling with tears.

“Baby,” Ashlyn sighs, sitting on the edge of Ali’s bed. “Come here.”

Ali joins her, kicking off her heels and resting her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I know it’s stupid. You were right, I shouldn’t ruin the good moments thinking about the bad ones, but I can’t help it and then I feel guilty for ruining everyone’s fun, and now I’m ruining your night talking about it.”

“You could never,” Ashlyn says. “My perfect night is with you, no matter what we’re doing or talking about. I don’t like seeing you sad, but it’s part of life.”

“What are we going to do?” Ali asks. “I don’t want to go back to school without you. Leaving camp is hard enough, leaving you is going to be, God, I can’t even think about it.”

“Leaving means countdowns to the next time we see each other,” Ashlyn says. “And good morning texts and phone calls in the middle of the day when I get out of class or practice and think about you. And Skype dates and telling all my friends about you. And obnoxious Instagram captions that everyone wants to kill us for.”

She places a kiss on Ali’s forehead, and Ali closes her eyes. “And watching my soccer games online.”

“And watching your soccer games online,” Ashlyn laughs. “Wouldn’t miss that for the world. But you want to know what the best part about being apart is?” Ali looks up. “The reunions. Or so I’ve heard.”

“Yeah, those will be good,” Ali says.

“Let’s make a deal.”

“Okay.”

“For the rest of camp, any time you find yourself feeling sad about leaving in the middle of a really good moment, squeeze my hand. If you aren’t with me, come find me and tell me you need my help with something. We’ll go somewhere private and I’ll give you a kiss and a hug and we can talk about it together. You don’t have to be sad alone, okay?”

“Okay,” Ali says. “You know you’re the best, right?”

“You told me that once or twice last night… and this afternoon,” Ashlyn teases.

“I love you,” Ali says, leaning in for a peck on the lips. “I don’t care how many times people say we should get a room.”

“Well we have one now, so might as well make the most of it, right?”

Ali responds by turning her back to Ashlyn and pulling her hair over one shoulder, looking back with a smile. “Help me unzip?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Fave line of dialogue??  
> 2\. Fave line of non-dialogue?  
> 3\. Thoughts on Liz now that, you know, you've actually seen and heard from her?  
> 4\. WOW this has been a long weekend, hasn't it?! What do you think they've missed back at the ranch (well, camp)? Any predictions for the next chapter?  
> 5\. What made you happiest? Saddest? What made you laugh?  
> 6\. What's been your favorite day of [Krashmas](kneatthanks.tumblr.com/tagged/krashmas) so far?


	16. Pushing Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected situation arises, forcing all the counselors to return to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How in the world is it already day 20 of [Krashmas](kneatthanks.tumblr.com/tagged/krashmas)?!

“Ali, wake up,” Ashlyn says urgently, jostling her. “Baby, we have to get up, we have to go.”

“What are you talking about?” Ali groans, rolling over. It’s 10, which is later than she usually sleeps, but they don’t have to be back at camp till curfew tonight.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but Whit is freaking out,” Ashlyn says. “Cap called Ryan and Becky and Kling last night at like 2 a.m. and said they had to get back to camp.”

“What the hell?” Ali asks, sitting up. She checks her phone for any texts or missed calls, but she doesn’t have any from anyone at camp.

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. “But Whitney needs a ride back to camp, and I told her we could take her. Is that alright? Cheney and A Rod and the guys are at brunch and I think they have plans for the day.”

“Yeah, of course it’s alright,” Ali says. “She doesn’t have any idea what happened?”

“No clue,” Ashlyn says. “It was just those three who got a call, and I can’t figure out why they’d call both Becky and Kling instead of counselors from different cabins.”

“Unless it has to do with their cabin,” Ali says, pulling her hair back into a bun as she looks for clothes. “If it were something really drastic, they’d have called us all in.”

Just then, both their phones chime with a message, and they exchange a glance. Ashlyn is the first to pick hers up. “Staff meeting at noon sharp,” she says. “Everyone who isn’t pre-approved to be out of town is expected to be there.”

~

Liz had planned on stopping by camp to visit and say hi to the campers and the rest of the counselors, but given that something is going on, she decides to head back to D.C. early. After saying and hugging their goodbyes and nice to meet yous, Kyle drives Ali’s car, packed with Whitney, Ashlyn, Ali, and all their suitcases, back to camp.

They don’t talk, and Ashlyn is in the back with Whitney, her hand over Whit’s to soothe her racing heart. She’s calmed down quite a bit, but it was jarring to wake up at 2 a.m. to Ryan leaving and just telling her “gotta go, don’t worry, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

When they finally arrive at camp, they don’t even have time to put down their luggage before Boxxy ushers them into a large conference room which is filled to the brim with counselors. All the campers are about to eat lunch, so it’s one of the few times they can afford to have an all-camp meeting like this.

As soon as Whitney sees Ryan, her entire demeanor changes, and he pulls her into a hug, kissing her on the temple and whispering something in her ear to which she nods in response. If Ashlyn knows anything about Ryan, it’s something along the lines of “hey, everything’s fine,” and Whitney probably trusts him enough to believe it. He’s earned that trust.

Ali finds Becky and Kling, and Ashlyn follows her to sit with them. “What’s going on?” Ali asks. “Are your campers okay?”

“Yeah, they’re fine,” Becky says. “It’s going to be fine, it’s just a mess.”

“Listen up!” Cap announces, getting immediately down to business. “I’m sorry to those of you who had to come back early from your weekends off, but I appreciate you being here. As you all know, there are certain rules you agree to abide by when you become a counselor. The contract you sign affirms that you are bound by those rules and that violation of those rules can and will result in immediate termination.”

She holds up a packet that is familiar to everyone in the room: the code of conduct they signed, some many more times than others. “Romantic relationships between counselors are discouraged, but acceptable so long as said relationship does not interfere with the welfare of campers or other counselors,” she reads. “However, relationships between counselors and any campers or junior counselors are strictly forbidden.”

Everyone nods slowly, looking around. Ashlyn clasps Ali’s hand under the table, not sure what this means for them.

“The reason you’re all here is to make you aware of a situation we discovered late last night,” Cap says. “One of your colleagues acted in direct violation of this rule when he engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a CIT. You’ll find that the counselor in question is no longer part of our staff, and the CIT is being handled appropriately.”

Everyone looks around, trying to figure out who isn’t there, and slowly everyone begins to look toward Ali and Ashlyn, who haven’t figured it out yet.

“Oh my God,” Ali gasps, and then Ashlyn realizes. Tyler.

“Okay, people,” Cap announces, trying to bring the attention back to her. “The circumstances will remain on a need-to-know basis, but I felt this warranted a staff meeting, as there will likely be questions from campers. The only answer you may give is that he had to go home early. Any questions before we go through a recap of the rest of the code of conduct?”

Several hands go up, and Cap calls on Kyle.

“Is he gone yet?” he asks.

“He’s packing his things now,” Cap says. “Yes, Ashlyn?”

“You said the CIT is being handled,” she says. “What does that mean?”

“She won’t be going on the trip to Hershey Park,” Cap says. “Other than that, she has been spoken to.”

“With all due respect, how is that fair?” Ashlyn asks. “He’s the one who broke the rules. Why should she be punished?”

Cap sighs. “If you have further questions, please feel free to stay behind after the meeting so I can address them personally.”

“Wait, I’m confused too,” Hope says. “He was in the position of power as a counselor. He’s the one who was responsible. He took advantage of her, you can’t punish her.”

“CITs don’t have to sign the same code of conduct, and you aren’t paying them, they pay to be here,” Sydney adds.

“Please understand this was not my personal decision,” Cap says. “We spoke with the board—”

“The board that’s basically made of entirely men?” Hope asks. “No offense, but that is completely absurd. I have all the respect in the world for you, but this is a bad call.”

Cap makes eye contact with Boxxy, who shrugs, and Cap knows she’s on her own. “I think you all make excellent points,” she says. “Why don’t we take a blind vote? Everyone close your eyes.” All the counselors oblige. “Now, raise your hand if you think the CIT should be allowed to attend the Hershey Park trip.” Everyone in the room lifts an arm. “Well, I guess you can all open your eyes.”

Hope looks around the room, smiling in satisfaction, and Ali squeezes Ashlyn’s knee, giving her a small smile.

“We hear you,” Cap says. “I’ll explain to the board that we’ve taken their opinion into consideration and have decided to respond to the situation differently. Now, if there aren’t any more questions, let’s go back over these rules.”

~

When the meeting lets out, most of the counselors can’t get out of there soon enough, but Becky and Kling stay back with Ali and Ashlyn.

“Thank you,” Becky says, hugging Ash.

“For what?”

“Defending Julie,” Becky says.

“Wait, it was JJ?” Ashlyn asks. Becky and Kling’s sweet blonde CIT couldn’t possibly have gotten herself mixed up with Tyler.

“You didn’t know? That’s why we got called in,” Kling says. “She hasn’t stopped crying.”

“I had no idea,” Ashlyn says. “ I just thought it was wrong that she be punished for something that isn’t even technically against the rules for her.”

“I’m proud of you for standing up for what’s right,” Ali says, slipping an arm around her waist. She hasn’t said anything since discovering it was Tyler who was involved.

Cap walks over to them, and Ali drops her arm.

“I’m really sorry if I came off as disrespectful earlier,” Ashlyn says. “I just—”

“I know,” Cap says. “You were right. I made a mistake, and I’m glad you spoke up.”

“Keeping quiet isn’t usually an issue with her,” Ali teases.

“You can say that again,” Kling says, seizing the opportunity.

“I don’t want to know,” Cap says, cringing. “Did you have a good birthday, Krieger?”

“Perfect,” Ali says. “Not to be flippant, because I know it’s a serious situation, but Tyler leaving might be the best birthday present I could have asked for. But like, is everything okay otherwise? Like is Ryan going to get another co-counselor?”

“We’re moving another CIT in there to help out,” Cap says. “But between us, I think no counselor is better than Tyler as a counselor.”

“You and me both,” Ashlyn grumbles. Then she remembers what she was planning to do. “Hang on, I have to go get something from your car. Meet you at the cabin?” she says to Ali.

“Yeah, are you alright?” she asks, handing Ashlyn the keys.

“Yes,” Ashlyn says, squeezing her hand quickly in reassurance. “Thanks again, Cap.” She does a joking salute as she leaves, rushing to the parking lot, which is empty as she approaches the car.

“What are you doing?” she asks when she sees Kyle, waiting at the driver’s side door.

“God, Ashlyn, give me a heart attack, why don’t you?” he exclaims. “I, uh, I came to get something from Ali’s car.”

“Then why are you at Tyler’s car?” she asks, holding up the keys.

“Why are you?” he asks.

“Same reason, probably,” she admits, bringing her hand down.

“Not gonna lie, I would have really liked to see you beat his ass,” Kyle says.

“You think I still won’t?”

“I know you won’t,” Kyle says. “For the same reason I won’t.”

“Ali,” Ashlyn sighs.

“She’d be so mad.”

“She’d say we were stooping to his level,” Ashlyn laughs, imagining the horror on Ali’s face. “She’s too good of a person.”

“Way too good,” Kyle agrees. “Come on, Batgirl, you’ve already been a vigilante enough for one day.”

“Hey, I’ll take that,” Ashlyn says. “Nobody’s given me a nickname yet, and camp is almost over.”

“You mean honey, sweetie, baby, and ‘oh my God Ashlyn don’t stop’ courtesy of my sister aren’t enough?”

Ashlyn turns red and pushes Kyle playfully. “Whatever,” she groans.

“Come on, let’s go back,” he says, wrapping an arm around Ashlyn’s shoulders. As they walk around the car, they almost run directly into Tyler, who’s opening the trunk of his car to load in his luggage.

“You would both be here,” Tyler groans.

“We were just leaving,” Kyle says. “And I believe you were too.”

“Believe whatever you want,” Tyler says gruffly, pushing past Kyle.

“Is that how you solve all your problems?” Ashlyn asks. “Pushing people around?”

“No offense, but I don’t need to answer to you,” Tyler says.

“You don’t,” Ashlyn says. “But considering this is the last time I’m ever going to see you again, I figured I might as well give you some advice.”

“Why don’t you take care of yourself and let me take care of myself?” Tyler says.

“You do that,” Ashlyn says. “Trust me, I’m taking care of plenty of things you never could.” She picks up one of his bags, tossing it into the back. “Drive safe.”

~

The rest of the day is relatively quiet, and the mood across camp seems to be lazy, especially when the sky gets dark after rest hour and a storm begins. Cap calls off activities for the evening, and the older campers are allowed to roam between cabins as long as they travel in pairs, but most remain in their own, making the best of the rainy day.

Ali and Ashlyn take Moe onto the back porch to talk about what happened, as all the counselors had been instructed to do with their CITs, but Moe doesn’t seem fazed.

“Yeah, I’ve been with JJ all day,” she says. “She was so upset about not going this weekend. I know you guys were the ones who changed Cap’s mind. She wanted to say thank you herself, but she hasn’t gotten the chance yet.”

“All Ashlyn,” Ali says. “But is she okay? Like, as far as Tyler goes.”

“Oh yeah,” Moe says. “They didn’t like sleep together or anything. He wanted to, but she didn’t. They were arguing about it when Abby found them.”

“Yikes,” Ashlyn says. “That would be terrible.”

“Yeah, she was so embarrassed,” Moe says. “She’s a really sweet girl, she doesn’t deserve that, you know? And now she’s so scared that everyone is going to judge her when they find out.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ali says. “First of all, nobody’s going to find out. I promise. But if they do, who cares? Everyone knows Tyler is a tool, I don’t know why she didn’t get the memo, but luckily now she knows.”

“Yeah,” Moe says. “Zach is the only one except for me who knows.”

“Zach?”

“I don’t know, this guy who’s like in love with her,” Moe says. “She has no idea, but he’s like a puppy dog. But he’s been really good with her through this. I was worried he’d like take the opportunity to be the hero and prey on her while she’s vulnerable, but he’s been really sweet and good to her.”

“And you and Eric?” Ali asks.

“We’re good,” Moe says, smiling. “And you two?”

“We’re good,” Ashlyn laughs. “Thanks.”

“Good, because we were worried,” Moe says.

“Who’s we?” Ali asks, alarmed.

“Me and the rest of the Krashlyn fan club, duh,” Moe says. “By which I mean Grace and Caitlin.”

“Krashlyn?” Ashlyn laughs. “That’s awesome.”

“Don’t give her any ideas,” Ali says with an eyeroll. “Anyway, is there anything you need from us to make your life easier? Any questions about… the situation?”

“No,” Moe says. “To be honest, I’m kind of tired of talking about it.”

“Me too,” Ali says. “Let’s go back inside.” Ashlyn gives her a quick kiss on the cheek while Moe gets up, and they follow her into the cabin, where they find the campers have transformed the entire room into an enormous fort using all their pillows and blankets and pushing all their beds together.

“Please can we keep it like this?” Taryn practically begs as soon as they get in. “I’ll sleep in between Cait and Grace!”

“Hey!” Caitlin exclaims, her cheeks turning pink.

Ashlyn turns to the right, toward the alcove where hers and Ali’s beds reside, and sees they’ve done the same to their beds, sheets draped off the sides of the empty top bunks, hanging like a canopy over what now looks like a full-sized bed.

“You can take yours apart, but please?” Michelle says. Ashlyn turns back to Grace and Caitlin, who are smirking, and she laughs.

“This is awesome, guys,” Ashlyn says. “Al?”

Ali purses her lips like she’s thinking before finally giving in. “Fine,” she concedes. “Just for the night, though, we still have cabin inspections every morning, and we aren’t giving up our lead for best cabin now.”

“Yes!” Caroline cheers, and the other girls join in.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Ali murmurs as Ashlyn ducks underneath the flap of their own personal fort.

“What, you don’t want to sleep with me for the third night in a row?” Ashlyn teases. “What better birthday present could you ask for?”

“Good point,” Ali says. “But if you go anywhere near anything below the belt, I’m out.”

“You think I’d be the one who couldn’t resist temptation?” Ashlyn asks. “Game on, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a much longer chapter (mostly because it was going to cover more than one day), but I figured you'd all hate me less if I posted this tonight instead of waiting till Wednesday (when I start my break from work) to post the whole thing! I kind of like it better this way though, because things are about to start winding down and wrapping up, starting with the next chapter...
> 
> 1\. Favorite line of dialogue?  
> 2\. Favorite line apart from dialogue?  
> 3\. What made you happy? What made you sad? What surprised you?  
> 4\. Did anything make you laugh?  
> 5\. What do you want to see/expect to see in the next few (last few) chapters? (Note: it's already all planned out, so I'm not changing any major plot points here, but I'm always inspired by what you guys come up with!)


	17. Say It Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are brought to light, and Ashlyn feels the reality of summer's end looming over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's one more chapter after this and then we say sayonara to Cedar Falls! Thanks so much for sticking with me through the ups and downs :) This certainly isn't the last you'll see of me, though... I have something already in the works (if you follow me on [Tumblr](kneatthanks.tumblr.com) you might have an idea of what it is), and I'm so massively excited for it, and I hope you'll join me on the journey into TOTALLY uncharted territory (for me anyway!)

Ashlyn wakes up the same way she always does on a morning at camp: to the sound of Ali's obnoxious alarm. Only this time the alarm is closer than she's used to, and with a simple reach over Ali's body she can turn it off.

"Hey," Ali murmurs, opening her eyes. "Trying to sabotage me so I won't run?"

"No," Ashlyn says, shifting so she is spooning Ali, pulling her close. "But I don't know when we'll get this opportunity again."

"What opportunity?"

"To cuddle in bed in the morning," Ashlyn says. "We've been rudely interrupted two days in a row, and the girls might be suspicious if we keep our beds together after today. So we might as well make the most of it."

Ali wants to argue, wants to make Ashlyn work for it a bit, but she's too tired, so she relaxes into her embrace, kissing Ashlyn's hand as Ashlyn kisses her neck softly.

"Love you," Ali mumbles.

"You too," Ashlyn whispers. "Now shhh." Her hand moves over Ali's hip, her thumb dipping slightly beneath the waistband of her pajama pants to outline her hipbone. She runs it over Ali's stomach, feeling her muscles tense before slipping it under the front of Ali's pajama pants, making her gasp.

Ali's eyes fly open, and she grabs Ashlyn's wrist. "What are you doing?"

"I told you to shush," Ashlyn says. "Do you want to wake up the girls?"

"Ash," Ali whines, but her hand is light on Ashlyn's wrist, and she doesn't stop her when her hand slips lower, making Ali bite her lip. "Make it quick."

"Your wish is my command, Princess," Ashlyn whispers, getting to work. Ali bites her lip so hard she can taste blood as Ashlyn brings her closer and closer to the edge as quickly as she can. Ali's hips rock against her fingers until Ashlyn stills her with her other arm wrapped around her waist because the bed is squeaking.

"Please," Ali whimpers under her breath, and Ashlyn moves her free hand up to Ali's mouth to give her something to bite down on as she comes with a gasp, breathing into a pillow as she tries to regain normal control of her body.

Ashlyn wordlessly removes her hand, licking it clean while Ali recovers, smirking. Her heart is beating almost as fast as Ali's because she can't believe they actually just did that, at camp, in their cabin with nine girls sleeping like 10 feet away.

Ali rolls over to kiss Ashlyn, tasting herself and crinkling her nose when she realizes neither one has brushed her teeth. "I'm going to take a shower," she says. "Join me?"

"I'm not that much of a risk-taker," Ashlyn laughs, kissing her quickly once more.

Not long after Ali ducks out of their “fort,” Ashlyn decides it’s time to get up and get ready for the day. When she does, she’s surprised to see that the girls are all starting to get up as well.

“Is Ali okay?” Taryn asks, helping Ashlyn take down the sheets that are hanging before she moves her bed back to where it belongs.

“I think so,” Ashlyn says. “Unless something happened between here and the bathroom. Why?”

“Oh, nothing,” Taryn says, avoiding eye contact. “I thought—we thought we heard her crying.”

“What? When?” Ashlyn asks, alarmed. “In the shower?” Her mind races as she thinks about what could have possibly happened.

“No, like, before the shower,” Taryn says. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear, you were right next to her.”

Ashlyn’s eyes widen, and her face turns red. “Oh,” she says. “Um, I think it’s just her allergies.”

“Okay,” Taryn says, but Ashlyn knows she doesn’t believe her. “I just thought maybe it had something to do with Tyler leaving, so I just wanted to make sure.”

“That’s really nice of you,” Ashlyn says. “But no, she’s fine.”

When Ali walks back out into the cabin wrapped in a towel, Ashlyn’s breath catches in her throat, and she has to make herself look away. Unfortunately, that makes it a lot harder for Ashlyn to thwart the certain disaster that ensues.

“If you need some medicine, I have plenty,” Michelle says. “I know allergies are a pain in the ass.”

“Thanks?” Ali laughs, and Ashlyn looks up, suddenly realizing what’s happening. “I don’t have allergies though.”

“But Ashlyn said—”

Ashlyn’s eyes are wide when Ali looks up at her, confused, and it sinks in that she’s supposed to say she has allergies even though she doesn’t understand why.

“Oh, that,” Ali says. “She meant I had an allergic reaction. To, um, this new sunscreen Kling gave me to try. This weekend.”

“Wow, it was that bad?” Bethany asks. “I’m sorry, that’s a crappy thing to happen on your birthday weekend.”

“Guys, enough,” Moe says. “Knock it off.”

“Knock what off?” Ali asks. “Am I missing something?”

“They know,” Moe says. “I’m sorry, I should have told you before… whatever happened this morning.”

“They know what?” Ashlyn asks.

“That you’re together,” Caroline says. “I mean, we kinda suspected it for a while until you stopped even talking to each other, but then the way you acted when Ali got hurt and then when Ali posted that picture from her birthday where you guys are literally staring at each other like you’re in love, and then you commented on it with the kissy face emoji. And Liz and a bunch of the other counselors all posted stuff from the weekend too, and you guys were attached at the hip.”

Ali looks at Ashlyn, panicked, but Taryn jumps in before they can say anything.

"It's okay!" she says. "We won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about. I guess we just felt like, you know, we're senior campers, and we felt like we were friends and I just wish you had trusted us."

"Of course we trust you," Ali says. "We just didn't want-"

"Cait and Grace knew," Bethany says. "You've been my counselor for like five years, and before that you were the nicest senior camper and you always made me feel special when I was little. It just hurts that you'd keep this from us, especially after you saw how cool we were with Cait and Grace!"

"It's complicated," Ashlyn says, seeing how much the girls' words get to Ali. If there's anything Ashlyn has learned about her this summer (and there's a lot), it's that she loves every single one of these girls like they're her little sisters.

Like Bethany said, they've been in each other's lives for much longer than most friends, and Ashlyn is certainly the new addition to the family. Camp bonded them all fairly quickly, but if they feel betrayed, it's natural to blame the person who threw their perfect world off balance. And that person is Ashlyn.

"It's not really," Caroline says. "Ali told us about Tyler from the second she even had the slightest crush on him."

"I don't know how else to tell you I'm sorry," Ali says. "I just didn't want it to affect you guys if things went wrong."

"It did anyway, didn't it?" Taryn says. "I mean, no offense, but you are crappy at hiding your feelings. We knew when you were fighting, and it was awkward."

"That's on us," Ashlyn says. "We really should have tried harder to be professional. But I promise our first priority has been you guys from day one."

"The only reason we knew is because we caught them kissing," Grace says.

"Nobody's mad about you being together," Taryn says. "We're all in favor of that."

"I know," Ali says. "And I understand why you're upset. Circle of trust and all that. You're right, you aren't little kids. We could have trusted you with that information."

"Then maybe we wouldn't have had to hear what we did this morning," Caitlin mumbles. Ali turns bright red. 

"I'm so sorry, you guys," she says, caving. "That was so inappropriate. Right, Ashlyn?"

"So inappropriate," Ashlyn agrees, covering up her laugh with a cough. 

"We did kind of set you up for that," Michelle says. "But I didn't think you'd actually make out in the same room as us."

"Especially so early in the morning," Bethany says. "But I guess when you're so head over heels you can ignore gross morning breath."

"Like we said, nobody will tell on you," Caroline says. "But Ali, you might want to put some makeup on your neck."

"I hate to break up the fun, but we have to be at flag raising like now," Moe says.

"Shit, you're right," Ali says, looking at the clock on the wall. She scrambles to get dressed as all the other girls put the finishing touches on their outfits and make their beds.

"Sorry I didn't warn you," Caitlin whispers, sitting on Ashlyn's bed as Ashlyn pulls her hair into a ponytail. "But I think you got lucky."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Ali clearly did anyway," Caitlin says, raising one eyebrow. "This morning? I know what I heard. Luckily they only considered the possibility of you making out. Mostly because none of them have ever had sex with another girl before."

"And you and Grace have?" Ashlyn asks, surprised.

Caitlin blushes. "Well no, not yet," she says. "But we've at least figured out how it works. For when the time comes."

"Which will be...?"

Caitlin looks down at her hands in her lap. "Campout," she says. 

Campout is Saturday while the CITs are at Hershey Park, and Ashlyn and Ali are chaperoning, along with the rest of the senior camp counselors who don't have the weekend off.

"I won't tell," Ashlyn says.

"Not even Ali?"

"You know I can't promise that."

"Good answer," Caitlin says. "The girls are protective. I mean, they love you, but this kind of adds another layer to you, you know? Like first you had to be Liz's replacement, and now you're someone who's in a position to hurt her. I know you wouldn't... I mean, whatever happened between you, whatever. It's in the past."

"It's okay, I'm glad you all care about her so much," Ashlyn says. "I do too. I get it."

~

The feeling in the air is different when the cabin finally gets to flag lowering (late). This is the week it starts sinking in that camp is ending soon, at least for Ashlyn. Maybe it's the way Cap refers to everything as "final" or the way campers talk about their flights home and class schedules for the coming school year. Or maybe it's the way Ali lingers when she brushes past Ashlyn, almost as if she just wants to be close when they can't be intimate.

Now that their own campers know, it seems ridiculous to hide it from anyone else, so it becomes kind of an open secret. As much as Ashlyn wants to grab Ali and kiss her every time they pass by one another, she manages to resist. Well, mostly.

On Wednesday morning, Ashlyn doesn't even see Ali before breakfast, probably because her run went long, but when she sees her getting coffee in the dining hall, Ashlyn can't help herself from wrapping her arms around Ali's waist from behind and kissing her cheek with a "good morning, sweetheart."

If anyone notices or is at all scandalized by it, they don't say anything, and Ali beams for the rest of the meal, interlocking her fingers with Ashlyn's under the table they share with Kelley, Alex, Whit, and Ryan.

As far as their own campers are concerned, Ali and Ashlyn are the cutest couple "like, ever." They've taken to commenting on all their pictures with heart emojis and gushing when one of them posts a particularly cute caption.

Another difference is that when they do get the chance to be alone, they seize it. Ashlyn doesn’t even want to know how Ali knows all the best places on camp to get it on in private, but she does. And they do. And Ashlyn thinks she’s checked more things off her sex bucket list in three days than she has in the past year, not that she’d admit that to anyone.

They have the night off Wednesday night, and they don’t even bother going out with the counselors, instead beelining straight to Ali’s house to be alone. Ashlyn thinks she hears the words “I love you” more in those five hours than she ever has before in her life.

It’s also one of the fastest weeks of her life, which Ashlyn doesn’t really mourn until Friday, the last open mic night. Color war lines are drawn deeper than ever, but the counselors intermingle more than ever simultaneously, gold and blue interspersed throughout the room. Cap gives the crowd a satisfied smile when she walks up to the microphone, and Ashlyn realizes maybe that was the point all along.

“Welcome to the final open mic night!” she announces. “After this, please get into your groups quickly so we can get everyone where they need to go.” By this, she means the CITs need to find Boxxy, Abby, and Kyle, who are in charge of the trip to Hershey Park, the senior campers need to find their respective counselors for Campout, and the junior campers need to make their way to the conference room for their enormous slumber party. With anyone else in charge, it could be pure chaos, but Cap’s calm demeanor makes everyone willing to do their part.

The best thing about this open mic night is they’d saved the best for last. Every performer is astoundingly good, probably because they’d been taking voice or piano or violin or dance lessons worth tens of thousands of dollars a year since they were born. Such is life at a sleepaway camp like Cedar Falls.

Finally, it’s time for the counselor skits. They’re not skits so much as they’re little one-liners so the campers can all guess who they are pretending to be. Ashlyn is weirdly nervous, worried that someone’s feelings could be hurt, but they did a run through, so she knows that shouldn’t happen.

Everyone cackles at Alex’s perfect (if slightly exaggerated) A Rod impression. All Abby has to do is stand up with her legs spread shoulder-width, adjust her visor, and look at her clipboard for everyone to guess she’s Cap, but she blows her lifeguard whistle just for good measure.

Ashlyn catches Whitney’s eye when Press steps up, and she rolls her eyes good-naturedly, knowing what’s coming. Press does a perfect Whitney, and even Ashlyn has to applaud her ability to nail down her deadpan and good-girl nature in just a few words. All Pinoe needs is a camera and a mirror to flex in for everyone to shout out Kyle’s name. He crosses his knees and smirks proudly, giving her a nod and a thumbs up for a job well done.

Ashlyn goes last, even though everyone already knows she has to be Ali. “Ummm,” she starts, and everyone laughs, including Ali, who buries her face in her sweatshirt. “Hey Cait,” she says, looking at Caitlin, who is part of the bit. “Did you get your stuff out of the shower?”

“Oh, no I didn’t.”

“Oh, no? Um, no that’s okay. It’s totally cool. It’ll be fine. Just make sure to get it before you leave, okay?”

She turns back toward Ali, who’s rolling her eyes at Ashlyn’s exaggerated impression of the way her mouth moves when she talks. “Ashlyn!” she exclaims. “Did you get your things out of the shower? Um, can you take care of that please. ‘Kay neat, thanks.”

“So not true,” Ali groans. “I go so easy on you!”

Ashlyn bites back a smirk, having known the whole time that Ali wouldn’t be able to resist a response, and she already has something prepared for it. “I can’t even deal with you right now, I haven’t had my coffee,” she sighs, putting her hands up and spinning around to join the rest of the counselors as everyone claps, including Ali.

“Good job, blue crew!” Cap announces. “Way to keep it clean this year.” Someone near Ashlyn coughs Tyler’s name, and she chokes on her laughter.

Ali catches her off guard with a kiss as they pass by each other when the teams switch places, and a few people whistle, but there’s too much chaos going on for anyone to really notice. “Just wanted to remind you that I love you even after your horrendous impression of me,” she teases. Ashlyn responds with a playful slap on the butt as she runs off to join her team.

Ashlyn might be biased, but she doesn’t think their impressions are nearly as impressive as her team’s. Or maybe she’s just impatient for Ali’s impression of her. The gold group clearly had chosen to mirror their order and put Ali last. But when Ali finally steps out of the line to the front of the stage, she smiles, looking at Ashlyn as she pulls off her sweatshirt, revealing first the red lifeguard swimsuit she must have stolen from Ashlyn’s cubbies, and then the marker tattoos covering one arm.

Ryan, who was presumably supposed to do an impression of Tyler before the incident, plays a parody of himself, tearing off his shirt and standing in his sunglasses and lifeguard board shorts, twirling a whistle around his fingers like the campers tease him for doing habitually.

“Pretty sweet day out there,” Ali says, like she’s looking out over the water. “Gnarly.”

“Sick,” Ryan agrees. “Careful, though. Danger is everywhere.” Everyone who’s ever been to waterfront with Ryan (which is everyone) laughs, knowing his tendency to be overly cautious and warn everyone about everything that could be lurking beneath the surface. One of Ashlyn’s first encounters with him was him telling her the rubber on the bottom of her water shoes weren’t thick enough to protect her if, say, she stepped on a piranha. He said it with such genuine concern that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that surely wouldn’t be a problem.

“Let’s catch some waves,” Ali says. “Gnarly.”

“I don’t think that word means what you think it means!” Ashlyn teases.

Ali’s eyes dart to her. “Um, I think I know what it means better than the rest of you people,” she says, maintaining her Ashlyn character. “I’m from Florida.”

“Ash, you can’t surf,” Whitney says as herself. “It’s a lake.”

“Of course I can surf,” Ali says. “I’m from Florida.”

“It’s too risky,” Ryan says.

“Okay… and it’s a lake,” Whitney deadpans again. They stand still for a moment before all turning back to join the line. Everyone claps, laughing and whispering to each other about which impressions were the most accurate.

“Do I really talk about Florida and say gnarly that often?” Ashlyn whispers to Alex, who rolls her eyes.

“Um, yeah,” Alex says. “I’m just surprised she didn’t go with ‘hey, have you seen Ali?’ as her catchphrase. If I had to do a shot for every time I heard that, I’d have been drunk all summer.”

“Ha,” Ashlyn says before Ali walks over to sit with them. They’re already squished on the couch, so Ali practically wriggles into Ashlyn’s lap. Ashlyn can’t complain, of course. “Not a bad job,” she says. “I love these tattoos, but you better wash them off before Campout.”

“Why’s that?” Ali teases. “I might even have some hidden in places you’d prefer.”

“Gross,” Alex says. “Please remind me not to set up my tent next to yours.”

~

The issue of where to set up tents isn’t actually an issue, because some of the staff had already gone to great lengths to sent up all the materials in certain locations to maximize the use of space and materials while mostly keeping cabins close together (and boys and girls apart… ha, little do they know). Most of the senior campers have done this long enough where they can get a tent up and ready in ten minutes and help the newer kids, but Ali enjoys watching Ashlyn struggle with the stakes before finally jumping in to help.

The first thing Ali does inside the cabin is zip their sleeping bags together to make one giant sleeping bag and layer at least five soft blankets underneath so they won’t actually be sleeping directly on sticks and rocks and dirt under the tarp of the tent.

By the time she’s done, the bonfire has begun, and she finds Ashlyn, who’s saved her a spot on the log beside her. Around this subset of camp, Ali doesn’t feel like there’s any reason to hide, so she happily snuggles into Ashlyn’s side.

HAO is the de facto director of Campout, so she stands when everyone is settled to make her announcements. “Welcome to Campout!” she says to a round of applause. “This is one of my favorite parts of the summer, because even though it’s almost over, it’s a chance to get away from all the distractions of camp and just spend time in the woods with your friends. By which I mean the mosquitoes. If you didn’t bring bug spray, your counselors have it in their tents, but please don’t wait till 3 a.m. to ask for it. We’re old, we’ll be asleep.”

“I have to go over the rules even though you should all know them,” she continues. “Do not wander off anywhere without a counselor. You can stay in this clearing, and there’s plenty of room to have secret conversations and make out sessions—come on, y’all, I was a camper once—without going elsewhere. No alcohol or drugs or cigarettes, blah blah blah, if we find you with them we have to take you back to main camp and it’ll ruin our fun and we’ll be pissed. So just don’t do it. No girls in boys’ tents and vice versa. Seriously. None of you are as subtle as you think.”

“There will be s’mores tonight and three full meals tomorrow in addition to snacks, so please don’t worry about being fed and go eat some poisonous berries or anything. Pinoe will be playing some tunes on her guitar if you want to stick around the campfire for that, but if not, Presi and Penguin have the marshmallows, so attack! In an orderly manner, of course.”

The group breaks apart, some going off in pairs and some in groups. Ashlyn doesn’t miss the way Caitlin and Grace cling to each other even as they join a group in roasting marshmallows.

“Want s’mores, baby?” Ali asks.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

“Stay, I’ll go get the things,” Ali insists, getting up before Ashlyn can stop her.

Ashlyn can’t take her eyes off Ali, wanting to memorize everything about her while she can.

“There it is,” Kelley says, sitting next to Ashlyn.

“What?”

“That look. The ‘I’m in love with you and don’t know what to do about it’ look.”

“That’s pretty spot-on actually,” Ashlyn laughs. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m terrified,” she says. “What the hell are we going to do after this?”

“Cry a lot,” Kelley says. “It’s the truth. The few days after camp are horrible. And then it just gets worse. Until it gets better.”

“Which is when?”

“It depends,” Kelley says. “There’s a lot of emotion. You’re leaving Ali, but you’re also leaving all these new friends and this environment. It’s draining to be around people who don’t get it. Popping the camp bubble hurts like a bitch. And you’ll feel numb sometimes. But I promise it gets better. It’s okay to miss it. And it’s okay to miss her, because you will. Keep those camp ties strong. All the counselors—the ones we like, anyway—do a group chat usually, just talking about our favorite memories and sharing inside jokes. It helps ease the transition into normal life.”

“I’m already sad,” Ashlyn says. “About her.”

“Of course,” Kelley says. “It’s the almost there part that sucks the most. Because you just want to make the most of the moments you do have, but the leaving is just boiling under the surface.”

“I called her out for that,” Ashlyn says, her eyes burning with the tears gathering. “And look at me now.”

“Talk about it with her. You’d be amazed at how much it helps. And you’re allowed to cry.”

“How do you handle the distance?” Ashlyn asks. “I mean, I guess you don’t have to anymore.”

“No, but I did for a long time,” Kelley says. “You can’t make rules. No agreements to talk on the phone for at least an hour every other day. We tried that and it crashed and burned so quickly. Life happens, things get busy. Don’t get hung up on it if you go a few days without hearing her voice. Even if you just text your good nights before bed because you’re exhausted or talk when you have a free five minutes on your way to class, it doesn’t mean you love each other any less or that things aren’t okay. Make her feel like she’s part of your life when you’re away from each other, but don’t try to be so much a part of each other’s personal lives that you suffocate.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were younger, I wanted to know all about what Alex was doing and who she was doing it with all the time. Not in a possessive or jealous way, just because I missed her and wanted to be a part of her life.”

“I can imagine that ended poorly.”

“You’d be correct,” Kelley laughs. “I ended up really possessive and jealous, and I felt like I had to out-fun her and make her jealous in spite. I don’t think it ever worked.”

“False,” Alex says, sitting by them and handing Kelley her s’more. “It totally worked. Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to bring you this.”

“You’re fine,” Ashlyn says, looking up to see Ali walking their way.

“What are you guys talking about?” she asks.

“Nothing,” Ashlyn says.

“We’re talking about how to make the long-distance thing work,” Kelley says. “Step one: honesty and communication.” She shoots Ashlyn a look.

“And how Kelley posted pictures with cute girls on Instagram all the time to make me jealous,” Alex says. “My best tip is not to do that.”

“You were just as bad,” Kelley argues.

“My point is, jealousy ruins relationships,” Alex says. “You love each other. If you’re confident in that and doing everything in your power to make the other person confident in that, it should be smooth sailing for the most part.”

“What about, like, visiting?” Ali asks shyly, putting a hand on Ashlyn’s knee.

“Always know the next time you’ll see each other,” Alex says. “Countdowns make it a little easier. And you’ll be tempted to do it more often than you probably should. You both need to have your own lives.”

“Even now that we live together, we make sure we have our own friends and our own things going on,” Kelley says. “Alex goes out with her nursing school classmates all the time, and sometimes I join, but most of the time it’s her me time. And vice versa. It’s good to be loosely involved without infiltrating.”

“Surprises are good,” Alex says. “But surprise visits can be complicated, so make absolutely sure that it’s a good time. Like I said, visiting too often makes things worse sometimes. You’re both going back to lives you’ve already established at school, but when you’re always visiting your girlfriend or she’s visiting you and you just want to stay in bed together all day, it messes that up.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Kelley says as if she’s the first to have ever noted that.

“Kel’s really good at surprises like letters in the mail or little just because presents,” Alex says. “Sometimes she randomly comes home with flowers, and those are the things that really stand out because it’s the thought behind them that matters most.” She wraps her arms around Kelley’s waist, resting her chin on Kelley’s shoulder and smiling at Ali and Ashlyn. “And if in doubt, we’re here to help. We’ve made plenty of mistakes you can learn from, trust me.”

~

After doing a final round of tent checks, Ali and Ashlyn retire to their own, spent from the day.

“That was good, talking to Kelley and Alex,” Ali says once they’ve settled into their joint sleeping bag, packed in loose enough to move around comfortably, but tight enough to make cuddling necessary. “But I still hope we can visit like once a month.”

“That sounds good,” Ashlyn says. “But you’ll have games on the weekends, won’t you?”

“Yeah, most of the time. But you can come to those, and I’ll come to you when I get the chance.”

“And we’ll go to Disney.”

“And we’ll go to Disney.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“What did Kelley and Alex say about making love into a competition?”

“Hmm, nothing I care about,” Ali teases, her hand slipping under Ashlyn’s shirt. “As you know, I can make anything a competition.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn challenges. “Prove it.”

~

Saturday is the most relaxing day Ashlyn has experienced at camp. There’s no running around with places to be, no schedule to adhere to, just camping food, games, and hanging out with her favorite campers and the counselors who have quickly become her best friends. The constant kisses and hand squeezes from Ali don’t hurt either.

She doesn’t have the chance to talk to Caitlin alone till dinner, when she finally catches her away from Grace and the rest of the girls.

“So,” Ashlyn says, grabbing her arm as she fills her plate. “Have dinner with me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Caitlin says, following Ashlyn to a pair of lawn chairs, where they sit. Caitlin immediately digs in, but Ashlyn just watches her. “What?”

“Last night,” she hisses. “You and Grace.”

Caitlin’s face turns red. “Ashlyn!”

“Come on,” she says. “I don’t want details, I just want to know how it was. How do you feel?”

“I feel great,” Caitlin says. “I heard so many horror stories about awkward first times, but it was perfect. I mean, it was still a little awkward because we were both nervous, but I love her, you know?”

“I know. I just wanted to check. It’s a big step.”

“Well, we’re about to be hundreds of miles away from each other for nine months, so if not now, when?”

“Absolutely,” Ashlyn says.

“Speaking of, I just wanted to tell you I’m really glad I met you this summer,” Caitlin says. “I don’t think I could have talked to anyone else about everything. And if you hadn’t been here, who knows if Ali would have told us about herself? I don’t think I would have made it through the summer.”

Ashlyn leans forward to hug her, tears clouding her eyes. “I’m really glad I met you too,” she says. “And you can talk to me anytime, okay? Don’t be a stranger. Keep me updated on your life. And all the Grace gossip.”

“Same with you and Ali.”

They finish dinner together, Ashlyn making eye contact from afar with Ali, who’s sitting with Grace, having what looks to be a similar conversation. Ali winks, making Grace turn to follow her gaze, and she smiles and waves.

It isn’t lost on Ashlyn how perfectly the summer worked out. She hadn’t expected a Caitlin and Grace who would look to her for guidance on things she’d only recently begun to figure out. She hadn’t expected a Kelley and Alex she would look to for guidance on things that were new to her. And she certainly hadn’t expected an Ali. Camp was one of the last places she would have thought she could fall in love—foolish, she knows, after watching plenty of counselors hook up and fall for each other—and the absolute last place she could have imagined she’d find someone she can see herself loving forever.

But she shakes the thought from her head, knowing she is getting ahead of herself.

When the sun goes down after dinner, everyone reconvenes around the fire, where HAO commands attention again.

“Hey guys, it’s serious time,” she says. “Well, as serious as you want to be, I guess. If you’ve been to Campout before, you know one of our favorite traditions is going around the whole circle and sharing something from the summer, whether it’s a favorite memory, a funny story, or just a lesson you learned. I’ll start, and then we can just go clockwise. My favorite memory of the summer was 100 percent seeing Kriegs finally do the high ropes for the first time in ages. Ash has the pictures, so I’m pretty excited about seeing those.”

Ali beams, leaning into Ashlyn as the next person starts. One by one, they go around recounting inside jokes from their cabin or thanking their friends.

“My favorite part of summer was my cabin,” Grace says. “They always made me feel loved and supported, and I think of every single one of them as my best friend. Ali and Ashlyn included. And Moe, who’s not here, but still.”

“My favorite part was my counselors,” Caitlin says. “I mean, my whole cabin was great too. And you’re alright.” She nudges Grace.

Alex and Syd tell stories of bathing suit tops falling down and near-drownings at the pool, but Ashlyn still hasn’t decided what she’ll say when it gets to Ali.

“This was the best summer I’ve ever had here,” Ali says. “It wasn’t an easy year for me, and I thought this summer would be a lot of the same, but it wasn’t at all. I made new friends and got closer to old ones, and like HAO said, I overcame some huge fears. But mostly I learned how to love fearlessly and completely, and that’s what I’ll cherish the most from this summer.” She squeezes Ashlyn’s hand as if to tell her it’s her turn.

“Um, yeah,” she says, still surprised by Ali’s openness. “Most of you know Whit—Penguin—was the one who basically dragged me here. I was positive and open-minded about it, but I didn’t expect to learn from all my girls, I guess. They all taught me something really important, and I can’t believe I’m going to have to wake up without hearing Bethany singing in the shower or breaking up fights between Taryn and Michelle about whose hair straightener is whose.”

Ali laughs, and Ashlyn turns to her.

“My favorite part was her, though,” she says, talking to everyone else but making it very evident who she’s talking about.

She presses a kiss to Ali’s forehead as everyone whistles or says “aww” or giggles before turning their attention to Whitney, who shares a story about Ryan falling out of a canoe when he was trying to show off.

Ashlyn listens and laughs at the appropriate times, but her mind is only on the fingers interlaced with her own and how much she wishes they could just stay like this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Favorite line of dialogue?  
> 2\. Favorite line of non-dialogue?  
> 3\. What made you happy? Sad? Surprised?  
> 4\. If ANYTHING could happen before they leave camp, what would you want it to be?  
> 5\. Any other thoughts and emotions etc?  
> 6\. Will you read my next fic? I promise it'll be FUN ;) ;)
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL!


	18. Till The Next One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camp comes to a close, and Ali and Ashlyn say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are! We've come to the end of camp. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me, through the highs and lows :)
> 
> If you're interested, I've started another fic (you had to know I couldn't go long without anything to do!) and you can find that [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5614477/chapters/12934753)!

The last night of camp is always stupid. Everyone feels the need to say goodbye even though they’ll just have to do it again in the morning.

The slideshow is the worst part, and Ali makes sure to tell Kyle she thinks so. Everyone in camp sits on the floor of the auditorium to watch an hour’s worth of pictures that are supposed to be adequate in summing up the entire summer. The first one after the pictures of campers arriving is the photo of Ali and Ashlyn at breakfast the first day of camp, and Ali loses it, sobbing into Ashlyn’s shoulder as she holds her.

The rest of it doesn’t get better, seeing all the smiling faces that seemingly had no idea summer could ever come to an end. Accompanied by the playlist of classic goodbye songs compiled by Pinoe, there’s not a dry eye left in the house.

The gold team wins color war, and Ali can’t even feel excited about it. She celebrates with the other counselors and does her fair share of rubbing it in Ashlyn’s face, but when the excitement dies down, the tears begin to flow.

Ashlyn hugs more people than she even knew existed, and Ali refuses to leave her side the whole night until finally they retire to the cabin. Nobody wants to talk anymore, all talked and cried out. The girls push their bunks together again, and nobody questions it when Ashlyn crawls into Ali’s bed, whispering sweet reassurances in her ear and leaving kisses on her neck.

Ali knows there’s no way she’s going for a run in the morning before she even falls asleep. She already knows it’s going to be next to impossible to extract herself from Ashlyn’s strong, warm arms when it’s time for breakfast, so she certainly isn’t going to bring an end to it anytime soon.

The campers are leaving today, and for all intents and purposes, camp is over. Ali isn’t sure if it would be any better if the day dragged on, but it feels like a cruel joke that after weeks of camp, it ends in a matter of hours, barely allowing breakfast to digest before loading the campers onto buses and carting them off.

They go through another full round of hugs, Ashlyn and Ali making sure they’re able to hug everyone in their cabin, as well as the little ones they bonded with at their daily activities.

Caitlin and Grace are on the same bus to the airport, and Ashlyn feels selfishly grateful that she doesn’t have to watch their tearful goodbyes, but as everyone mingles around the bus circle, Ashlyn panics, unable to find Caitlin until a pair of arms squeezes her from behind.

She spins around to see Caitlin, eyes watering, and she immediately tears up herself. “Don’t forget me,” she says, pulling her into a real hug.

“Never,” Caitlin agrees. “You changed my life.”

“You have my number, so make sure you text me,” Ashlyn says.

“And make sure you keep posting cute pictures with Ali.”

“You bet,” Ashlyn says.

“Last call, campers!” Boxxy calls, holding her clipboard.

Ashlyn hugs Caitlin one more time before letting her go, and she looks to the side to see Ali doing the same with Grace. Ali spots her and walks over, slipping an arm around Ashlyn’s waist. They wave goodbye as the buses roll away, smiling at the little faces pressed against the glass.

Ali pulls Ashlyn closer, kissing her on the cheek. As soon as the buses are out of sight, Ashlyn pulls her in for a real kiss.

“Hey,” Ali says. “You did it.”

“Did what?”

“You made it through camp,” she says. “And you were one of the best counselors I’ve ever seen.” In fact, the kids had voted Ashlyn for “Most Fun to Be Around” in the counselor superlatives.

“Can we get drunk now?” Pinoe yells, and everyone cheers.

“Not quite yet,” Cap says. “There will be plenty of time tonight, but now it’s time for cleanup. Do a final sweep of your cabin and then report to your assigned location to take care of cleaning there. If you finish or you don’t have anything to do, go help someone else. The sooner it’s all done, the sooner we can celebrate.”

Naturally, Ali and Ashlyn start their celebration a little early. Thanks to Ali’s perfectionism and how wonderful their campers are—were? It hurts Ashlyn’s heart to think about it that way—their cabin is already spotless, and Ashlyn’s things are all packed. The only bed still made up is Ali’s, and Ashlyn makes good use of it by pinning Ali into it, doing all the things they never had the chance to do (well, for the most part) over the summer.

When Ashlyn finally gets to waterfront, Whitney and Ryan don’t look any more innocent than she feels.

“God, how much sex do you think has been had in the past hour?” Whitney asks, taking one look at Ashlyn.

“Personally, a lot,” Ashlyn says. “I’m assuming for you, just once. Sorry, Ryan. Girls win this round.”

“Way too much information,” he groans. “I’m so glad you were the person mentoring my little sister all summer.”

“Shut up, I’m a treat,” Ashlyn says. “Too soon, though. I miss her already.”

“I know she’s going to miss you a lot,” he says. “Really, though, thank you. I know you were a really important part of her summer.”

“She is important to me, too,” Ashlyn says. “She’s going to have an awesome year.”

“And I think we’ll have successfully convinced her to come back as a CIT,” Whitney says, high-fiving Ryan. “We’ve been working on that forever.”

“Speaking of,” Ryan says. “Are you coming back next year?”

Ashlyn is caught off guard by the question. She’s been spending so much time thinking about the next few months that she hasn’t even thought about next year. The answer comes easily, though.

“You’d have to pay me to stay away.”

~

“Hey, cuties!” Alex says, stumbling toward the couch where Ali and Ashlyn are sitting with HAO, Becky, and Kling. She’s supported by Kelley, who seems considerably more sober, but still slightly bleary-eyed.

“Where have you been?” HAO asks Kelley, but Kelley and Alex exchange a look that tells everyone everything they need to know. “God, you people are insatiable.”

“You just wish you were a lesbian,” Alex slurs.

“After another summer of complete celibacy, you might be onto something,” HAO says. “Anyway, it’s about damn time, because it’s time for our not safe for campers memory circle.”

“Oh God,” Ashlyn says. “I can’t imagine.”

“Oh, it’s fun,” Becky says. 

“Everybody!” HAO yells, garnering the crowd’s attention. “If you want to hear embarrassing stories about your fellow counselors, now’s the time!”

“Always!” Pinoe says. “I’ll start.”

“Ugh,” Kyle says. “I already know what you’re going to say, everyone has heard this story.”

“It doesn’t make it any less funny that I made a fake Grindr account and got you to sext me,” Pinoe says. “I can’t believe you were willing to hook up with a townie.”

“What was funnier was Ali’s face when Pinoe showed her the texts,” Carli says.

“So not funny,” Ali says. “More like scarring.”

“I’ve got one!” Abby says. “A Rod was massaging Biofreeze into my shoulder after a particularly competitive tennis match against Cheney, but she got distracted before she could wash her hands because Adam came in. He gave her a kiss, it was very cute, but then he got an eyelash in his eye and needed her to help him get it out. Needless to say, she made it a hell of a lot worse. I’d never seen Adam cry before then.”

“I had forgotten that,” Adam groans, cringing. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“Aw, honey,” Amy laughs, kissing him on the cheek. “He wouldn’t let me touch his face for days.”

“Can’t forget Syd’s top coming off at the pool in front of our group,” Cheney says.

“That happened last year!” Sydney whines.

“Yeah, but I just wanted everyone to remember it happened.”

“I think it’s the first year that Alex and Kelley haven’t been caught in a compromising position,” Whit says.

“False,” Kling pipes up. “Ali’s birthday weekend. It’s was awful.”

 

“We were barely even—” Alex starts, before Kelley claps her hand over her mouth.

“Cap’s here,” she hisses.

“You forget I was the one who walked in on you last summer,” Cap says drily.

“Well, there was another one to look out for this summer,” Tobin says. “I think the kids are calling them… Krashlyn?”

“Stop,” Ali groans, burying her head in Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“What, the allergies thing?” Ashlyn laughs. “Come on, it was one time.”

“What allergies thing?” Kyle asks.

“Shut up,” Ali hisses. “Nobody knows about that.”

“Anyway, I had a night off, and Press and I wanted to go kick a ball around on the soccer field, but the lights were off, so we went to go turn them on. Who do you think we saw getting it on between the posts?”

“Stop,” Hope says. “That’s sacred ground, you guys! Gross.”

“That was you?” Ashlyn exclaims. “We thought they just turned on automatically because we didn’t see anyone.”

“Um, yeah, we were so horrified we ran away!” Press says. “Don’t worry, we didn’t get a good look, but we saw enough.”

“And heard more than enough,” Tobin adds.

“I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy,” Whit says. “But then again I’ve had Ashlyn as a roommate for years now.”

“Hey, want another drink?” Ali whispers, taking Ashlyn’s cup.

“Yeah, I’ll come with,” Ashlyn says, standing up. Luckily, the group has moved on to talking about Alex losing her voice after screaming at a color war event, so nobody notices when they slip away. “I had a feeling you didn’t really want a drink.”

“No,” Ali says. “Just want to be with you.”

Ashlyn smiles, kissing her softly. “You know where we are right now?” she says, motioning to the bench.

“Of course,” Ali says. “Our first kiss.”

“Our second kiss.”

“I don’t count the first.”

“I’ll take as many as I can get with you.”

“Here, have some more.” Ali wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, pulling her as close as possible for kiss after kiss until Ashlyn finally pulls back. “More.”

“Hang on, I want to talk,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ashlyn toward the bench. “I’m going to miss kissing you, but I’m going to miss talking to you too.”

“Stop that,” Ali says. “Don’t talk about missing me.”

“I’m going to, though,” Ashlyn says. “No point in pretending I won’t.”

“Okay,” Ali says. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“Next year.”

“Isn’t that a bit premature? Aren’t we still trying to figure out like, the rest of this year?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “But I wanted to know. Are you planning on coming back next year? To camp.”

Ali sighs. “I haven’t talked to anyone about this.”

“About what?”

“I was talking to my coach,” Ali says. “And you know how I told you when I was younger I got called up to a few youth camps with U.S. Soccer? He thinks I have a really good shot at getting called up to the senior team, but I have to get more serious. Which means opening up my summers.”

“That makes sense,” Ashlyn says. She’d watched World Cups and Olympics and knows the summer has to be essential for serious soccer players. And she doesn’t know anyone who takes her craft as seriously as Ali. Certainly, she’d have a way to go before being on that level, but Ashlyn doesn’t doubt Ali’s ability to go after and get anything she wants. “So no camp. That’s fine. You’ll be all old and graduated by then anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“So what do you do, go pro?” Ashlyn asks. “How does that work?”

“There are a few options,” Ali says, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. “I could enter the draft for the professional league here.”

“Or?”

“Or I could go abroad.”

“What do you mean? Why would you do that instead of playing here?”

“The level of play is a lot different,” Ali says. “Like, worlds different. If I want to be serious and get really good, that would be the best way.”

“But you’d be…”

“In Germany,” Ali says. “Or France, or Sweden, or England. I don’t know. Yet.” Ashlyn nods, slowly understanding. “And there’s the possibility that I could get loaned to an American team on the off-season. Playing so many months out of the year would be a complete game-changer.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet,” Ali says. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I haven’t talked to anyone but my coaches though. Not even Kyle. So just keep this between us.”

“No worries there,” Ashlyn says. “Listen, can I take back what I said about talking? I mean, I want to do that. And I want to talk about this more and help you figure out whatever you’re unsure about, but this isn’t exactly where I saw one of our last conversations going.”

Ali nods, wiping a stray tear from her eye. “Yeah,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop that,” Ashlyn says, kissing her quickly. “Don’t apologize for talking about what I asked about. I just wasn’t expecting the answer.”

“I know,” Ali says. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention it sooner.”

“Why would you?” Ashlyn asks. “We only have so many minutes left together, let’s not spend them on things that scare us. Well, me.”

“It scares me too,” Ali says. “But I agree. We could be spending those minutes doing much more productive things.”

“We aren’t going back inside, are we?” Ashlyn asks between kisses. Ali barely detaches her lips in order to shake her head.

“We can see them all in the morning.”

~

It’s weird when you wake up knowing you’re about to have the worst day of your life. Or maybe just the year, but it’s still an enormous weight.

Ashlyn wakes up feeling like that, but when she opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is Ali’s face, and she doesn’t think she can call any day that starts off that way anything but a gift.

“Good morning, angel,” she whispers, brushing the hair off Ali’s face softly to make room to kiss her forehead.

“No,” Ali whines, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Come on, we need to wake up if we’re going to enjoy this time together.”

“I was hoping you’d forget.” Ali opens her eyes slowly and yawns.

“To wake up?” Ashlyn teases.

“If we just didn’t leave, how long do you think it would take for someone to catch us?”

“Come on,” Ashlyn says. “You’ve wanted to shower together for ages. If you don’t get up now, we’ll be rushed.”

“I just want to lie here with you forever.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn says. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

It’s all they say for the next hour, between less important things like where Ashlyn’s wallet is and why Ali need not waste her time with lip gloss. They say it between kisses, between tears, between sheets as they futilely attempt to unmake Ali’s bed. They say it walking arm in arm while dragging all their suitcases out to the circle where Ashlyn arrived the first day and where she’ll be picked up in less than an hour. They say it holding onto each other while Kyle loads up Ali’s car with her bags. They say it when the taxi pulls into the circle and Whitney loads her things.

“I love you,” Ali says, tears feeling more like just part of her face than something she should be concerned about. “So much.”

“I love you too,” Ashlyn says. “But I’ll talk to you soon. I’ll call you as soon as I land, I promise.”

“I know,” Ali says. “Kiss me again.”

Ashlyn obliges, and Ali takes her head in her hands, holding her there. Ashlyn finally pulls back, and Ali pouts. “I can’t kiss you forever, as much as I want to,” she says. “I have to say goodbye to everyone, then one more, okay?”

Ali nods, stealing another peck. She slips her hand into Ashlyn’s as they mingle with the departing counselors, hugging goodbye and promising to stay in touch.

“I’m so sad to see you go,” Cap says, hugging her tight. “You are an incredible counselor, and I hope to see you both back next year.” Ali shifts uncomfortably, and Ashlyn squeezes her hand. “And I always knew you two would be the perfect co-counselors.” She winks, hugging Ali as well. “Safe travels, and make sure you text me that you’ve gotten home.”

“Ash, you ready?” Whit asks, Ryan’s arm around her shoulders.

“Just a sec,” she says. “Alex, I need to tell you before I go. About what Cap said—about what we talked about last night—I’m so proud of you. Whatever you do in the future, wherever you go, I’ll support you one hundred percent. If I have to follow you across the world to be with you, I’ll do it. I’ll always be here.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali breathes.

“I believe in you and I love you,” Ashlyn continues. “This place will always be a huge part of me—of our story—but it’s not everything. Our future is so much bigger than this. Don’t hold back. Not for me, not for anyone else. Promise me that.”

“I promise,” Ali agrees, tears streaming down her face. “I love you so much. I miss you already.”

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, still unable to get enough of saying that. “Are you ready for one more kiss?” Ali nods. Ashlyn leans down to meet her lips, and her hands rest on Ali’s hips as Ali’s arms wrap around her neck. She hesitates before pulling away, because when she does, her heart sinks, knowing it was the last they’ll share for a while. “Best kiss ever?”

“Yes,” Ali says. “But only till the next one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. Favorite moment of the whole fic?  
> 3\. Favorite chapter?
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!
> 
> Here's one more shameless [self-promo for my new fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5614477/chapters/12934753) before I go :)


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